HOW long has your longest CDing urge been GONE for GOOD ?

[Sheila]

For those of you who have had Spells where the CDing urge "disappeared" what was hte longest time you quit for, & did you believe in that time the urge had GONE for GOOD.

I ask for a very good reason .... purely because I do not believe you have the choice in the matter and I do not want to take over another thread running in here with my views

[Deborah Jane]

I,ve had several periods of not c/ding, but the longest one was 11 years, during that time i assumed it had gone for good!!

I never even thought about it during that time, but when it came back, it hit me like an express train and for a time it was the centre of my life.
Since then i,ve given up for no more than a few months at a time before the urge comes back.

[Pattie O]

I am similar.I have gone for long periods where it has not been even thought about -probably about 5-6 years longest period.But when it returns it is a bit like a tidal wave that consumes me and takes me on a long journey.I wish I could explain why this is.It is fun and exhilarating though and I just feel like giving in to the pink fog
Pattie:daydreaming:

[trisha59]

I have not dressed for long periods of time for various reasons. Currently since Oct 08. But heres the thing, I never thought of it as an urge that needed to disappearing or for that matter I don't feel that I have an urge to dress. Its something I enjoy doing when I have time for it. I like photography too. I enjoy it when I have the time. I don't have an urge to do it though. Since I really did not fit into the parameters of the question you may disregard this answer.

[Samantha43]

8 or 9 years when my kids were young. I thought about it often but didn't act. When I started dressing again, it came back with a vengence.

[Jonianne]

Sheila, from the age of 7, I cannot think of any extended period of time when the desire was not there. Sure, I have gone for years not physically dressing, but it has always been with me. And that wasn't a bad thing.

[beez1717]

I don't purge and I don't like going in full on male mode. It just irks me, and it really does me no good. If i'm not wearing panties and/or a women's shirt.

[Jenniferpl]

The urge has really neve been gone.

[Susan.]

While in the service I went w/o dressing for years. When you are not around feminine things it is not that hard.

[danielle_from_cal]

I went for almost 10 years after I got married. I can't really say that I never had an "urge" to dress, but all I ever did was put on a bit of my wife's eyeliner and lipstick. Some odd circumstances required that we be apart for a couple of months after about 10 years of marriage, and I the urge just hit me like a truck. Now I dress whenever she is away for a few days or more.

[insearchofme]

From about age 13 to 23.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

There have been short periods in my life where I didn't feel the urge or need to crossdress, but they are very short - as in maybe a couple of weeks.

For the most part, I've always had the need and desire to crossdress. I love it. It's a major part of me and I love that part of me. I honestly don't know what it is like to not feel the desire to crossdress long term. I really don't want to know. For all the years I wasted trying not to be who I am (trying to fight the urge), I really love who I am now and don't want that part of me to change.

So, I guess about two weeks is my answer. And that doesn't happen often either.

[msginaadoll]

Well there have been a 3 or 4 years when I didnt dress at all. During the summer I dont dress much or sometimes not completely, though still on my mind. I always thought if I lived in a warm climate I would be a very very part time cd. I love spending my time out in the sun and water during the summer. I am also on the go to concerts, playing volleyball, rollerblading. Hate the feeling of running makeup and head burning up in a wig. Of course my legs are always shaved and i do a little reading online but can easily go weeks without dressing- though as said is still part of me.

[beenherelongtime]

i had a few times where i didn't dress, but a lot of it was working too hard and long hours and not having the time to do it. i have not crossdressed for a period of about six years not, 3 before i retired and 3 since i've retired. this is not totally true as i have bought a bra, panty, camisole, full slip and half-slip. i tried the bra and panty and camisole and full slip on, but this was only one day. i am now debating whether to buy any other clothes and dress again. but in retirement i do a lot of golfing, going to dinner, and reading and working puzzles. i have the desire to call a friend of mine, who i admire and ask if she will give me one of her bras and one of her blouses, thinking that if i could revive that thrill i had when i was young, when i emulated people i admired it might give me more desire.

[Kate's at home]

I went for 13-14 years without dressing or any desire to do so, In my mid 30's I stopped for about 2 years, with no interest. I then met my wife and had no interest for 11-12 years. I tried on some of her things once, very briefly, out of curiousity several months after we were together, and it was as if the desire was gone. No interest from then on. She was very beautiful on so many levels, and I bought her many beautiful and classic things to wear in our time together. Looking back, I know I enjoyed her greatly on many levels for her. I also wonder to what degree I may have sublimated my feminine or dressing urges thru her, unconsciously. "Being" with her and thru her, as it were. What I do know is, after she died several years ago, the "urges" came roaring back within 2-3 weeks after her death like a "freight train", as Deborah Jane describes, and have not gone away since. I have just accepted them. I do find it interesting that from the beginning with my GF of the last 2-3 years, I quickly decided from the start to include her in my dressing, albeit in a somewhat paced way initially, and never really considered not dressing as part of being with her. In fact, her openness has actually allowed me to feel very comfortable exploring this "side" of me freely to the point that she and I are basically comfortable with. I'm now enjoying this exploration, for me, and with her. At this point, I very much enjoy and feel like I'm "learning" in the process, and do not forsee a time when I might stop as I have "found" an essential part of me. But who knows what tomorrow might bring.

There are are many days when I feel like I'm in preperation for becoming or remembering being fully a woman.

Kate

[CD Susan]

During the four years that I was in the military I dressed only a couple of times when I was home on leave. However the urge was always there while the opportunity was not. It was a long and frustrating four years.

[Angie G]

bout 3 minutes. No really when I was going with my wife I didn't dress for over a year. but started again soon after we goy married.:hugs:
Angie

[jennydl]

Hi Sheila,the longest time I have been "without the urge"was somewhere around 16 to 18 months.In that time I had no desire to dress and didn't even think about it.I don't know why but it seems that the more I dress the less I need to, so after alot of time spent dressing,the urge is satisfied and I find that I don't feel the need to dress.
when I was in my twenties I thought that the urge was gone forever so I purged my girl stuff only to discover it was not gone.Since then I just dress when I feel I need to and put my girl stuff away when I don't feel the need to dress because I know now that the "urge" will return sooner or later.

jenny.

[xAnne_Mariex]

About 2 or 3 years, i'm actually quite glad they came back again now, I love it.

[Kelsy]

I have managed to suppress the urge for years at a time but it never
disappeared infact durring the periods of suppression I would cheat:)

Kelsy

[Rachaelb64]

About 18months is my longest.

These days I have 'off days' when I don't dress but the majority of the time I dress :)

[rachel_rachel]

I tried to give it away when i meet my first serious girlfriend, it kinda worked but not for long, when she dumped me it came back hard and i haven't looked back since then. It's nearly 11 years since that now.


I actually purged once before any of that happened and resisted any type of temptation for about 6 months. I made sure that the charity bin i put the clothes in was being emptied the next day.

Once i purged and that lasted 5 hours, i waited until it got dark and went back to the charity bin i put my clothes in and got them back plus heaps more....

[Kate Simmons]

I don't think it's the length of time involved so much as I think it is understanding the needs that drive it. Many have been partially successful but it comes back when the feelings are not fully understood. This involves a lot of understanding of psychodynamics in most cases. Even if it does come back after perhaps many years, it doesn't mean the person has failed, it just means there may be more perspectives and aspects involved than originally thought.

The main thing is accepting these feelings in ourselves and not being afraid or ashamed of them. Once we get to that point, the feelings can be integrated into our overall persona and we can be who we want when we want with no self imposed restrictions and we can be who we want to be by choice rarther than by compulsion.:)

[trisha11]

First of all let me say that I have been dressing in some sort of womans things from the age of 10. Either it be panties, bra's, nighties, skirts etc. I am now 35. The longest I have ever went is 3 years. It happened when I went away to college and had a male roommate my first year and then moved into a Frat house my last two years. I was so preoccupied with school, work, and being active in my Fraternity that I really didnt even miss it. My dressing now comes and goes but I do have the urge more often than not to dress. I agree with you that it is something that we can't control, but as all of us know we try to. Hell if I could have back everything that I have purged over the years I would have a huge assortment of panties, bra's, shoes, wigs, skirts and dresses. We have all done it at some time or another. I am just so thankful that I have my own place now and have someone that knows and understands this side of me. It has been a god send and it makes my dressing all the better.
trisha

[tamarav]

I did not have any urge during the first three years of being in the military. Getting wounded and spending a one year stay in a military hospital, I realized than men started wars and hurt/killed other men. I realized I was through being a real man.

Haven't stop dressing since then.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Up until recently my first week away college while playing football. During this period I was in practice from dusk til dawn and was too tired to even think about dressing. Recently the urge has kind of died down due to long work hours.

[latanya]

A ten year hiatus from crossdressing! I purged because I felt I can't pass as a women so why bother! thought it was gone for good! Was satisfied reading feminization stories and viewing ******* sites( there are some gorgeous ones transexuals and ******* out there) . I thought the urge to dress was gone for good. The about a month ago my wife had to leave the country fo about ten days. The night before she left I was planning the restaurants where I would eat and the movies I would catch up on. however when she left totally out of nowhere the urge to crossdress hit me like a lead balloon. The urge was greater than ever and has not subsided. Over the past month it has completely overwhelmed and consumed me. Last night was the first time in a month I tried to get a grip on the situation but that did not last very long. I'm still in cd mode and I guess it is here to stay although I hope I can create a balance between my male side and female side real soon!!:brolleyes:

[Kelli Michelle]

If you count underdressing, I doubt it's been gone for more than a month or so. If you mean full-on dressing, I did that twice in one week around 25 yrs ago, and didn't again til about 5 yrs ago. I have stopped occasionally since then (maybe 3 months long) as I was just pissed off, and hurt from all the crap I was getting from my wife....just too much pressure. I have purged 3 times I think, but even then I was underdressing (at least) within a month or so.

[brittanny]

I have gone 3 to 6 months lots of times but the longest was almost a year

[Cary]

I don't think I've gone a whole day without thinking about it. I have gone a few months without dressing, but it's never far from my thoughts. Most times when I see a woman dressed in something I think I like, It triggers me to want to dress.

[Sarah...]

I ask for a very good reason .... purely because I do not believe you have the choice in the matter and I do not want to take over another thread running in here with my views

I have never stopped. And yes, you are right, I have no choice. Well, actually, that's not true. I have the choice to stop dressing male. That's easy. So I'll be doing that in due course.

Sarah...

[boardpuppy]

I experimented (7-17 yrs old) several times and then went into denial mode until Sep/Oct 08. I knew what these denial/depression/stress feeling were all about, I needed to dress and present as a women. I don't have a complete understanding of my CDing yet but I underdress 24/7. These feeling are always lerking in my mind so I'm always thinking about CDing. Stop dressing I have my doubts, there is to much fun (YET) when consumed by the pink fog, only time will tell.

[Karren H]

10 years... Come to find out it was a slow growing pitutary brain tumor.. Once I started treatment my hobby came back with a vengence!!

[Joanne f]

I do not know if it is fair for me to answer this as in all reality the urge or desire has never gone, but what i will say is that some time ago due to circumstances i felt like i should try and stop but found that it was upsetting me so much i had to find a way of doing it , that might sound very selfish of me but it was eating away at me , it still does as every morning i awake with the same thought, but have have learnt how to compromise with myself and others , but i would like to make it clear to other SO who might read this that it would not necessarily apply to others as there are many reasons for Cding so do not panic.

[rachellegsep]

Between the ages of 12 to 25. Then dressed occasionally until 32. Since then the urge has never left.

[Prissy Linda]

I don't think I've gone a whole day without thinking about it. I have gone a few months without dressing, but it's never far from my thoughts. Most times when I see a woman dressed in something I think I like, It triggers me to want to dress.

I have thought about it every day of my life since I first started at about 4 or 5 years old. Feeling feminine has always been a part of my nature, No I don't display the feelings openly all the time but it is a huge part of who I am.

I have a job that requires me to act like a man or else I would be eaten alive but that doesn't mean I have to be all macho in the way i behave. I also have a loving wife who supports me and understands that I have the NEED to be a girl at times but I also have children who require a father. Dressing to me is not a curse, it is a gift.

[Kate Simmons]

Not sure if your question was answered with these responses Hon. I, personally, have put CDing on hiatus, perhaps indefinately. This is a personal choice though and has to do with how I understand the associated feelings. Chalk it up to too much exposure to the likes of characters such as Emma Peel, April Dancer, Sydney Fox, Lara Croft and Susan Richards. I realize that except for the physical stuff, there is not that much difference between enjoying being a guy and an empowered woman, so I'm good with just being myself.

I will say this, however. CDing is like learning to ride a bike or smoking. Even if you are away from it for a very long time, you never forget how and it can still give you pleasure if you decide to do it again. The difference, the way I see it, is when you do it totally as a result of choice rather than as a result of compulsion or habit.;):)

[Jess_cd32]

I'd guess about 10 years, and that was 10 years totally wasted now that I look back on it:doh: Glad its back with a vengeance and not planning on stopping this time around.

[kristinacd55]

I think my first year in college, I went about 6 months or so

[Sheila]

Thanks fot all the replies do far, I promise to caome back Monday and make a better reply than this, but Debs is here and we are busy sharing our first Valentines day/weekend tog ...... not a lot of room for privacy here at the moment.... 10 peeps in the house Fri night, 9 sleeping + 2 dogs ...... we would have had more damn privacy in an airport terminal :heehee::heehee:

[victoriamwilliams1]

For me it was 4 years.

[Sandygal]

Thats a tough question. I'm 51 and my urge to dress fully(No wig or makeup,never enough private time) happened only 5 years ago. But as i sit and think about it, I have always done cd things back as long as I can remember. wearing moms petticoat when I was young and remembering I loved it. I was always trying to get my hands on panties when ever I could. I was very shy around women, but I prefered sitting with them at parties. I never missed a chance to go clothes shopping with the wife. I took great pleasure buying clothes for her on birthdays and Christmas. I had no problem buying clothes for her, but when I found this site and I put 2 plus 2 together. Wow! I'm a cder and I no longer feel alone. So have I had time off from cding? No, even if I had times where I wasn't dressing, I now realize its always been with me weather I'm dressed or not. Your always doing something. You could be walking along and see a pretty girl and then realize it's not the girl you noticed, it was the outfit. Just as quickly it leaves your mind, but its there, always in the shadow. (Your second self). So do we really take time off from cding, I think not, we just take time off from dressing.
Here's the funny part. I could buy clothes for my wife without a thought. When I figured out I was a cder, I'm now nervous as hell anytime I go out and shop for womans clothes. Does this make sense to anybody?

[Carly D.]

Longest without dressing at all??: I would have to say several months, maybe even six months if I had to hazard a guess.. did I think it was gone for good??: there was a time when I was in high school that I thought it was gone, but I didn't own any clothes back then.. in the past twenty years of my owning my own clothes there has never been that feeling that I was "cured" somehow of that wretched curse of cross dressing.. there have been times that I have thought I'd stop dressing at this age or that age or this year or that year.. but it's there.. and I'm a cross dresser, and I will likely be a cross dresser til it's called something else.. then I'll be that...

[SFRachel]

I purged once when I got married though the desire never really went away. Shortly after my wedding I went back into it more determined than ever to satisfy my need of feeling female. I wear something fem everyday (at least panties and hose) and dress head to toe often at work when I'm alone in my office.

[izzfan]

Well, I suppose the longest I've been without it [not counting the time before I realised that I was a CD] has probably been a couple of weeks. I mean, there are times when I feel almost completely masculine and the need to CD goes away almost completely, but I know that it will return as it always does. Often in a far more intense way than I expect, which is never a bad thing :)

The opposite tends to happen as well, if I feel really feminine for ages and get a chance to CD a lot, then it will be great for a couple of weeks until it unfortunately starts to fade and I end up being masculine again for a while until I get bored of it and then the whole cycle starts again....

When I was younger, there were times when I tried to get rid of the whole CDing thing but fortunately it never worked. I have never really "purged" though, probably because at the time I had very few female clothes and getting rid of them without anyone noticing would probably have been harder than it was to buy them in the first place.

[Stacye Rose]

The seven plus months that I'm currently into without any desire to dress is the longest I've gone without dressing since I met my first accepting SO and began to dress regularly when I was 19. In other words, until August of 08 I had dressed at least weekly for 30 years.

[sarahNZ]

the longest I went without running into the fog was about 4 months.

I didn't think it was gone for good, but I did not think it would be gone for so long either, come to think about it I plain and simple didn't think about it.

seems like I can go for a while with dresing to some extent every day, then it s gone as quickly as it came, I can only guess when and for how long the fog lasts.

[Rachel Lea]

Just last night I thought I would stop for a little while, I have been dressing (in closet) every night for the the last week. "One last time for a while" with heels, dress, slip, pantyhose, bra and besides my legs needed shaving. Well tonight first thing shaved my legs and then......."I need to dress". So here I am, dressed, initially thought I would not were heels, ya right, now there on, wow. All of this feels so good. But I really need to go shopping for new items, some what typical man keeps things beyond there time and more importantly, style. I could not be caught outside in the style I have on right now, part of reason to stay in closet sometimes.

[StaceyJane]

Let's see, there was a five year period from the time I was born until I was 5 years old and I first wished I could wear the same skirts the girls wore to school. After that even though I have had long periods of not being able to dress the urge has never really gone away.

[linda lovely]

I am so far in the closet that it is more a matter of how long was it in between opertunities. I don't think it gos away.

[linnea]

Sheila, from the age of 7, I cannot think of any extended period of time when the desire was not there. Sure, I have gone for years not physically dressing, but it has always been with me. And that wasn't a bad thing.

This is about the same with me. I have gone away from crossdressing several times that have lasted up to a year, but I have always come back (and with a stronger desire to continue, every time). Whether it is genetic or conditioned or both, I think that my desire to crossdress arises from deep in my being. I have to control my crossdressing for some practical reasons; but I don't expect to stop.

[Diann]

Ten minutes!:D

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Well I was in CROSSDRESSER Purgatory for almost 10 years - thought it was gone for good - - - GUESS WHAT ? It wasn't !!!!!!!!!!

JoAnne Wheeler

[Alessandra]

Ive had a couple of months i thought it was gone the urge but since then its been back and i want to dress more and more but i see when it fits and such. I get some good opportunities so i am satisfied the way it is now. Have enough time to do what i want sometimes i want more but usually its good

[Carrie R]

I can't remember the last time I dressed up, it's been several months at least. Odd since I live alone and am currently unemployed, I have plenty of time. I may do it soon.

[Tina B.]

I have gone for as long as 5 to 6 years and once for a year and a half, both times just had so much going on, that I never even thought about it. it's a bit odd, but I read everyone, talking about dressing when they are alone, I seem to be pulled into it when I have a woman in my live, when I don't, I run with the boys and do boy things, but when I have a woman in my life, I seem to slide back in to a feminine state of mind. It could be Awkward if I hadn't been lucky enough to meet a very understanding woman.
Tina

[Danica]

Two long breaks (well for me anyhow). First time was for 2 yrs in the late 70s while I was attending college. Actually thought the urge was gone until while partying with my now ex-wife, she had me try on a pair of her panties and just like that, the thrill was back. And the next long break was recently for 2 yrs again, leading up to my marriage breakdown and subsequent divorce. So the ex got me back into cding and then out of it, for awhile - lol. During this most recent break I was smart enough not to purge my lady things - secretly stored them away. Dreamed about cding a lot though. Commenced cding again just before Xmas. Very glad to be back....:)

[Ashley Williams]

I went without dressing for almost 10 years - from two years before I met my second wife to nearly 8 years after.

I really hoped and believed that it had gone for good, and when the need began to return, I tried so hard to resist.

So many feelings got re-invoked and I thought for a while that it was like a curse that I had been re-visited with!

Now, the other side of a 're-confession' to my wife, I feel a bit like I am back at the beginning - not sure quite how to move forward.

So - to summarise - a loooong time - and yes, I did think, wrongly, that it had gone!

[Jill58]

I had a break for about 8years, didnt think about dressing & thought that was it & wondered why it had been a big thing in my life. Hit me like a bus when it returned. Took a long while to come to terms again & understanding wife.

[Carole Cross]

There have been periods in my life where I did not dress, but the urge has always been there. I did try to suprees the urge once and managed to resist for 6-7 years.
There have also been periods where I did not have the opportunity to dress. As I now have a large number of clothes i don't think that will happen again. :D

[Gemma Bee]

The longest was last year, for about 6 months. Then it was sporadic from about August onwards. It wasn't until December last year that I got back into the swing of things. I think it was real life getting in the way. I believe I was preparing myself mentally to go back to full-time work after being off for such a long time.

[GaleWarning]

At the beginning of February I put all my stuff away in a suitcase. I intend to stay in this state of personal denial until after Easter. In a way, it makes things easier ... no worries about being "discovered" underdressing at work, no real urge to "dress up" in the evenings ... I intend to see how much control I have over my hobby.
Occasionally though, like last night, I have an intense desire just to put on something feminine. Went to sleep. Did the trick.
I do enjoy my hobby! Looking forward to the end of Lent.

[Desiree2bababe]

12 years

[Pamella]

What a topic,I have dressed since I was 12-13 and even when I was 5-6 I loved feeling the lingerie when my Mom shopped for them.I sneaked around and wore my sisters dirty clothes and when I got maried I just did it when I could. My third wife loved me when I dressed up and did a lot and more and more until she decided she wanted a man. I moved in with some women and dressed in their clothes that they put away in boxes,just when ever I could which wasnt a lot. I finally was able to live alone and dressed all the time and it developed to where I dont have male stuff any more. I had a girlfriend in the last 5 years who burned Pamella,we took her out in the desert and burned everything,I have done that a few times in my life but it never did any good,It has always come back and always lost who I was with. Now I tell whoever I meet who I am and that I am never changing and I dont plan on ever not dressing ever again. Even thinking of dressing me as a woman when I dont breathe any longer. Sorry for the length

[Jenna81]

When I met my wife I thought that the urge to dress was gone!! Wow was I wrong!!! I had been crossdressing since about 10 or 11 then I met her and it disappeared (for about 6 months) until one night we were messing around and she told me to put on her panties!!! That brought back everything!! She doesn't mind me wearing panties and a bra in bed (it actually turns her on) but thats all the farther she'll let it go!!

[MsSamanthaErica]

It was a long while for me, but I didn't really purge the stuff I had... just locked it away and tried to forget it. But as fate would have it, that didn't happen and now I happily dress up as a girl whenever I can. I often sleep in lingerie and panties. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't get dressed up now, it's *WAY* too ingrained!

:hugs: :love:
~Samantha

[Dannie Lefae]

I have had several years of not dressing, but the urge was always there. I have had several years of trying to make the urge go away, but yet here I am. I am blessed in my life with a wonderful, understanding wife who encourages me to be me, and yet I have battered myself with shame and so on... But, I am still here and still working on accepting myself as my wife accepts me.

Blessings,
Em

[Ashley in Virginia]

I am in the middle of a non dressing period. I haven't dressed since July or Aug of last year.

I don't have a clue as to why...

It isn't like I don't want to... I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't want the hassle of shaving and make up. I don't like the embarassment of shopping. I hate the fact that I am a freak. I hate the shame that I feel after and I can't take it.

So I keep on depriving myself of whatever satisfaction I get from it...

Ok... so....

While I can go without dressing, The urge isn't gone. I have forcibly supressed it....

How long can I go without going nuts? I dunno.... My mood these days is definately darker. I am angry... and tired. I just don't give a **** anymore about anything.

Maybe I have already gone nuts?...

Will dressing fix it? Doubt it. The temporary release I get from it will only reset the cycle...

So... lesson to be learned is... try to be happy... if you want to do it, do it. If not, don't... either way... try to find happiness with it. Don't force it.

[Sheila]

Wow there have been some long long periods of non dressing ................ so can you remeber if there was any one thing that"TRIGGERD" the need/desire/urge to dress back, or was it suddenly just something that need to be done ?

[Highland Anne]

The longest I've gone without dressing is about three years and when I was not dressing I felt like part of me was missing.