CD Induced Depression?

[kathrynjanos]

Ok, so, this is an interesting question to which I am not even sure of the cause, effects, or basic guiding realities, but here goes.

I think I'm depressed. I've got a thousand reasons. I've been taking politics too seriously for the last eight years (even if it was merited), I've been worried about the economy, I've been under stress from debt (my own damned fault), and I just lost my job a month ago. On top of all of this, I now have the issue of dealing with my girlfriend who has been making her disapproval of some of my crossdressing known. :doh:

I think this is either my main cause or the straw that broke the camel's back. Personally, I love my crossdressing more and more every day. I think I'd even change my answer on the quizzes about whether or not I'd just live femme every day in a "perfect world" but that's not definite. But my gf's disapproval is actually bugging me more than I thought it would.

I've been dismissive of it, because I have never been a person to care what someone else thinks of me (unless I'm trying to date them, distinct from actually dating them, if that makes sense). I'm not sure that it even bothers me that she disapproves, because I think she's doing it in part just to exert some control over something that I barely have control of. I mean, if she disapproved because she really had an objection, well, I don't think I'd be worried.

I feel great when dressed, but I feel depressed any other time. I don't know if it's because I'm actually starting to desire to be dressed full time (only if I'd pass (mostly) as a woman, though), or because I'm getting harassed about it other times? I know, none of you can see into my head, but I'm just wondering if maybe someone sees some sort of pattern that I don't.

[Persephone]

I think I'm depressed. I've got a thousand reasons. I've been taking politics too seriously for the last eight years (even if it was merited), I've been worried about the economy . . .

Well, the answer to the first part is pretty simple, Kathryn, become a Republican!

I'm only half joking since studies frequently do show that Republicans/Conservatives tend to be happier, more positive, people.


I know, none of you can see into my head, but I'm just wondering if maybe someone sees some sort of pattern that I don't.

When you have several negative things going on in your life at the same time, it can lead to depression, and it sounds like your job, your debt issues, and your girlfriend's attitude may have all combined into what feels like a "perfect storm."

On the other hand, depression can also derive from actual physical factors such as chemical imbalances within your body.

It is a serious matter and you should consult a qualified person who could help examine the cause and help you feel better. If you broke your leg, you'd find a way to get immediate treatment, why then ignore feelings that also require immediate attention?

Many of us here care about how you feel, so please keep us informed.

Hugs,
*

[jennydl]

Hi Kathryn,Is it possible that your dressing is your stress relief because of the enjoyment you get out of it?
Do you feel your life would be better if you were a woman?
If so,why?
Ask yourself why you crossdress.

The stress you feel over your financial situation as well as the other things you mentioned can be alot to handle on your own,do you have someone you can talk to about things.sometimes just talking can lower the stress level and make you feel a little better.

Does your gf understand how you feel about her disapproval of your dressing?
Have you told her how it makes you feel?

I have been in a similar situation and lived through it.
You can too.
jenny

[sometimes_miss]

Well, the answer to the first part is pretty simple, Kathryn, become a Republican!
*

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[crossdrezzer1]

I felt the same way somewhat,,, got on cymbalta and now I feel better,,, you might want to try that...

[Kate Simmons]

Regardless of what many say, CDing is a process that needs to be understood. It can give and take but will take more than it gives if we are not careful.

[Karren H]

Regardless of what many say, CDing is a process that needs to be understood. It can give and take but will take more than it gives if we are not careful.

I disagree... you don't need to understand how a car works to drive it and you don't really need to know why you crossdress to enjoy it... imho... Some people HAVE to understand....

[Tal'Aura]

I disagree... you don't need to understand how a car works to drive it and you don't really need to know why you crossdress to enjoy it... imho... Some people HAVE to understand....

Jolan Tru,

Knowledge equals freedom. People who live in ignorance and don't think about anything at all won't never reach their full potential. Albert Einstein said: '"The important thing is to never stop questioning".

[Kate Simmons]

I disagree... you don't need to understand how a car works to drive it and you don't really need to know why you crossdress to enjoy it... imho... Some people HAVE to understand....As you've probably guessed, I know how a car works. Personally, I prefer the older ones without all of the "bells and whistles". Less maintenance involved.;):)

[RachR]

It is a serious matter and you should consult a qualified person who could help examine the cause and help you feel better. If you broke your leg, you'd find a way to get immediate treatment, why then ignore feelings that also require immediate attention?
This is the best advice you can get. If you really think you're depressed seek professional help (this is coming from someone who's lived with depression for at least 25 years). It's also possible that you could just be feeling "down" without being depressed, but sometimes it's not easy to make that distinction without an evaluation from a professional.
Also, as mentioned before your dressing could be a source for "stress relief." I think since many of us feel like different people when dressed it's a form of escape. This doesn't mean you're ignoring the problems at hand, just that you need a break.
Above all, if you really think you're depressed find a professional to help you out. It's the best advice anyone can give you. Depression is not something to be taken lightly.

-Rachael

[docrobbysherry]

Depression is dangerous, if allowed to continue!:sad:

Besides, CDing supposed to fun!:D
If it isn't, you're NOT doing it rite!:eek:

[kathrynjanos]

Well, the answer to the first part is pretty simple, Kathryn, become a Republican!

I'm only half joking since studies frequently do show that Republicans/Conservatives tend to be happier, more positive, people.



When you have several negative things going on in your life at the same time, it can lead to depression, and it sounds like your job, your debt issues, and your girlfriend's attitude may have all combined into what feels like a "perfect storm."

On the other hand, depression can also derive from actual physical factors such as chemical imbalances within your body.

It is a serious matter and you should consult a qualified person who could help examine the cause and help you feel better. If you broke your leg, you'd find a way to get immediate treatment, why then ignore feelings that also require immediate attention?

Many of us here care about how you feel, so please keep us informed.

Hugs,
*

Oh, wouldn't the world be better if we were all Republicans? Then at least we could all be happy in blaming the Democrats for every problem we caused. :tongueout: Word has it from similar studies (I think the same, actually) that Republicans also tend to be more fearful and paranoid.

Right now, I can't afford a doctor, so that's out of the question. I'll see about it when I am employed again, though. I won't take drugs - it's very much against my nature. Nothing stronger than an aspirin, basically, unless it's medication for a physical illness.

Thank you for caring though, I appreciate it. :hug:


Hi Kathryn,Is it possible that your dressing is your stress relief because of the enjoyment you get out of it?
Do you feel your life would be better if you were a woman?
If so,why?
Ask yourself why you crossdress.

The stress you feel over your financial situation as well as the other things you mentioned can be alot to handle on your own,do you have someone you can talk to about things.sometimes just talking can lower the stress level and make you feel a little better.

Does your gf understand how you feel about her disapproval of your dressing?
Have you told her how it makes you feel?

I have been in a similar situation and lived through it.
You can too.
jenny

I've tried speaking to her and she usually just gets all emotional about it. I've taken to just shutting it down when she starts now because there's no real point in debating it. Perhaps if I go to a doctor in the future to deal with this and other things, I'll include her in it, and have the doctor help beat her down a bit. She listens to doctors.

I crossdress because it makes me feel good. Sexy, sure, but also because I just feel more appropriate in feminine clothing. It's almost like a past life expressing itself. I don't necessarily feel WRONG as a man, I just feel I'd make a better woman.


Kathryn, you say: "I feel great when dressed, but I feel depressed any other time". And you ask us if we see some sort of pattern?

I don't know about conservatives being more cheerful people (self-satisfied, I'd have said), but I do know that eccentrics have been found to be happier, healthier and longer-lived than average. And cross-dressing is nothing if not eccentric. The lesson is obvious.

As for worrying about the economy, isn't that like worrying about the universe? (Remember what Carlisle said to the woman who told him I accept the universe: "Gad, ma'am, you'd better!")

I don't worry about the universe - after all, the universe could literally collapse in on itself instantaneously due to a fluke in physics at any point. It actually kinda sucks understanding how the universe works.

Perhaps I overstated that I feel depressed whenever I'm not dressed. It could just be that I'm not depressed when dressed because it's not usually a constant thing, it'll be for an hour or two at most in the evenings usually.


This is the best advice you can get. If you really think you're depressed seek professional help (this is coming from someone who's lived with depression for at least 25 years). It's also possible that you could just be feeling "down" without being depressed, but sometimes it's not easy to make that distinction without an evaluation from a professional.
Also, as mentioned before your dressing could be a source for "stress relief." I think since many of us feel like different people when dressed it's a form of escape. This doesn't mean you're ignoring the problems at hand, just that you need a break.
Above all, if you really think you're depressed find a professional to help you out. It's the best advice anyone can give you. Depression is not something to be taken lightly.

-Rachael

I should clarify something, because you are all really worried about me, and I appreciate that very VERY much. You really can't understand what it means to know that people you may never meet actually care about how you are. This is a wonderful community, thank you all.

I want everyone to know that regardless, I'll be OK. I will not hurt myself or anything like that. I've got a family history of depression and in some cases, mental illness. I don't believe I've gotten any of the worst of it, well, unless some of it has yet to rear its pretty head, but I do think I'm depressed. Perhaps manic, even, but in a very gentle swell. I will seek help as soon as I can afford it.


Depression is dangerous, if allowed to continue!:sad:

Besides, CDing supposed to fun!:D
If it isn't, you're NOT doing it rite!:eek:

hehe, it is fun. It's the side effects that are a problem.

[Rebecca Sue]

I disagree... you don't need to understand how a car works to drive it and you don't really need to know why you crossdress to enjoy it... imho... Some people HAVE to understand....

I agree with Karren, I'd rather find a groove and go with the flow than overanalyze it to death. Some people have to understand, others are more at home in simply being. To each their own.

That being said, crossdressing in and of itself doesn't cause depression, if it did this forum would be more about depression and less about crossdressing.

Seeking professional help for your depression is very good advice.

[Karren H]

Jolan Tru,

Knowledge equals freedom. People who live in ignorance and don't think about anything at all won't never reach their full potential. Albert Einstein said: '"The important thing is to never stop questioning".


I may be ignorant but I'm happy!!! lol

[Debutante]

"Well, the answer to the first part is pretty simple, Kathryn, become a Republican!"

Yes... ruin America in so many ways, then make us all depressed....!
Hey -- that's what really happended!:doh:

Hard times for us all... sympathies for you!

[docrobbysherry]

"Ignorance is bliss!":doh:


I may be ignorant but I'm happy!!! lol

Maybe u can reword it to, " CDing IS happiness"!:heehee:

[Jess_cd32]

1. Turn off the politics, start cd'ing more.
2. File chapter 7.
3. Collect unemployment benefits till they run out, then find another job.
4. Tell gf to cool it or you'll find another one:)

[sissystephanie]

Jolan Tru,

Knowledge equals freedom. People who live in ignorance and don't think about anything at all won't never reach their full potential. Albert Einstein said: '"The important thing is to never stop questioning".

Knowledge helps to gain freedom, but one has to know how to use it! Just having knowledge does not mean you have freedom. Understanding why you crossdress may be of some help, but knowing how to put on some of the feminine clothes would be much more valuable!!

The major point here is why is Kathryn depressed, or is she? Kathryn, you indicate you are worried about the ecomomy! Can you control what happens to the economy? I know I can't and I doubt if you can! Therefore, why worry about it? Whatever is going to happen, good or bad, is going to happen anyway! Try to develope a positive outlook, and your life will suddenly be much better. You lost your job a month ago, have you found a new one yet? Don't worry about the lost job, think about the great new one you are going to get. I have lost many jobs over the years I have been working, being laid off, business being sold, etc. In every case, I wound up getting a better job at higher pay. IMHO, that was because I refused to allow myself to think negatively. I knew I could do better and I did! The last time I lost a job, I wound up selling insurance. Went from a mid five figure income to mid six figure income in one year and have kept it there, or higher, ever since working about six months a year. You can do better, Kathryn!

AS far as CD'ing is concerned, which do you love more? Being a CD, or your SO? That is a question only you can answer, and you have to be honest with yourself. If you love the SO totally, you can temper the CD activities. Yes, I know I will catch some flack for that statement, but it is true. Your action depends on who come first in your life, you or your SO. If you always come first then you two will never be happy together! Of course, if she is also that way then again you will never have complete happiness.

Think and act positively!!

[Annie D]

When I first started crossdressing as a pre-teen, after I had to put my mother's clothes away and then later in life when I had to hide my stash after playing at my hobby, I also would get depressed or sullen because I had to stop doing something that I really enjoyed doing and in my mind I blamed the people who caused me to stop. I never quite overcame these feelings; it is only now that I can dress anytime that I wish that I no longer experience any degree of anger with those around me and in my life. Perhaps you are experiencing some withdrawal symptoms caused by not knowing when you can dress again.

[sarahNZ]

Kathryn, the only times I have smiled in the last year is when I have been dressed, it is simple to me... dressing is stress relief

What with the loss of my job closely followed by the loss of my wife, and then to lose my job again what do I have to feel good about? Dressing brings out a smile again and I feel good. It is a welcome break from the BS that is life at the moment.

I also know of the pain of being harrased from being CD from a loved one, I think I resorted more and more to my dressing to get through those hard times. It is a way of letting go of all the surrounding "BS" and to truely b happy with in your own skin.

[kathrynjanos]

1. Turn off the politics, start cd'ing more.
2. File chapter 7.
3. Collect unemployment benefits till they run out, then find another job.
4. Tell gf to cool it or you'll find another one:)

1 - Sorry, cannot do the politics. It's in my blood.
2 - Thinking about it. It'd be my best chance of doing things right though. I was fine until my damned job canned me.
3 - Working on finding the job now. I'll make more money that way.
4 - Oh, I have, several times already.


Knowledge helps to gain freedom, but one has to know how to use it! Just having knowledge does not mean you have freedom. Understanding why you crossdress may be of some help, but knowing how to put on some of the feminine clothes would be much more valuable!!

The major point here is why is Kathryn depressed, or is she? Kathryn, you indicate you are worried about the ecomomy! Can you control what happens to the economy? I know I can't and I doubt if you can! Therefore, why worry about it? Whatever is going to happen, good or bad, is going to happen anyway! Try to develope a positive outlook, and your life will suddenly be much better. You lost your job a month ago, have you found a new one yet? Don't worry about the lost job, think about the great new one you are going to get. I have lost many jobs over the years I have been working, being laid off, business being sold, etc. In every case, I wound up getting a better job at higher pay. IMHO, that was because I refused to allow myself to think negatively. I knew I could do better and I did! The last time I lost a job, I wound up selling insurance. Went from a mid five figure income to mid six figure income in one year and have kept it there, or higher, ever since working about six months a year. You can do better, Kathryn!

AS far as CD'ing is concerned, which do you love more? Being a CD, or your SO? That is a question only you can answer, and you have to be honest with yourself. If you love the SO totally, you can temper the CD activities. Yes, I know I will catch some flack for that statement, but it is true. Your action depends on who come first in your life, you or your SO. If you always come first then you two will never be happy together! Of course, if she is also that way then again you will never have complete happiness.

Think and act positively!!

I worry about the economy because it's why I'm jobless and unable to find a new one. Whether or not I can correct it is irrelevant. I am uncertain if my pay will go up, and I do not have the money to go back to school or learn new skills right now.

As far as CD'ing goes and whether or not I love her or me more, well, my former boss had good advice. Be fine with yourself first and the rest will follow. I take this in part to include that you also need to keep number one your first priority. If you're not happy, you can't make anyone else happy either, and the same is in reverse in her case. If she can't be happy with me as I come, then she shouldn't expect me to be happy with her. It's not "tit for tat" as much as simply a matter of emotional well being.


Kathryn, the only times I have smiled in the last year is when I have been dressed, it is simple to me... dressing is stress relief

What with the loss of my job closely followed by the loss of my wife, and then to lose my job again what do I have to feel good about? Dressing brings out a smile again and I feel good. It is a welcome break from the BS that is life at the moment.

I also know of the pain of being harrased from being CD from a loved one, I think I resorted more and more to my dressing to get through those hard times. It is a way of letting go of all the surrounding "BS" and to truely b happy with in your own skin.

My sympathies, Sarah. I definitely feel your pain.