GF making fun of me :>

[Ashlyee Paige]

Ok my SO does not know about my other side, but so was teasing me after I got my piercing (lol took a while to convince her of me getting it) she made a few jokes about things I do lately. I recently learned how to crochet and am in the process of making a sweater among other items :> well I had my shirt off showing her my piercing and she started making fun of my boobs :> kept poking them and saying now how do you like it :> well to top it off last night my computer fan started making loud noises, well she checked it out and found my HUGE stash of makeup books, I woke up this morning and saw them out and asked her about it, she said she loved reading the books but ummm why do you have them? I told her I was interested in it and that makeup was like art and described how it relates ect, she agreed and I told her that how I knew so much about makeup, We keep a stash of magazines, cosmo, womans world ect that we both read, We have the same taste I seem to know where the perfect tops are for her that she always buys and likes :> I told her the books were for her for vday (which 1 of them was actually, but I read it first) I think she is starting to get used to my fem side more and more and it seems easier for her to accept it a little at a time, mind you these changes all happened over about 3 years more and more, but it seems she maybe able to accept who I am more and more. Just a small rant but when I went to work this morning after talking about the books with her I actually felt alot better, like things were finally coming out a little more and I felt a small bit of acceptance from her.

[gwen cd]

My Wife is slowly accepting Gwen is there and she is getting stronger.
I am sure all the other girls will agree.
Take it slowly at a pace not to rattle her cage.

[Michelia]

I cannot picture you as a male Ashlyee. It is hard to believe your GF does not know yet. I would have always said "Tell her, what are you waiting for!" But it sounds like it is working for you just like you are handling it.

[Sammy777]

she then asked me if I was on hormones
my computer fan started making loud noises,

First - computers get hot - VERY hot - upwards of 120F+.
They also like their [air flow] space - so no more using it as a cubby hole, OK, lol.

#2 Her using the word "hormones" is very specific.
Take a step back from here for a moment,
hormones is not a word most would use in conversation outside of here/us.
If she did in fact use that exact word, she may have tipped her hand on just how much she is or isn't in the dark about you.

That's a good thing, she may be doing some homework on her own & if so, has not come across anything bad to spike her defenses. So far, seems like she is coming around the bend.

As far as everything else you said, GOOD for YOU.
She seems very willing to ingage your feminine side, whether or not she realizes it is there.

Congrats! :drink:

[carolinewalker_2000]

It does sound as though your GF has a pretty good idea of where you are Ashlyee. I take that as good news. Looks like your softly-softly approach is working. However, you will need to think about when you final choose to come clean with her. If she does suspect, then she will be waiting for you to confide in her. Leaving it too long could be as destructive as blurting it out too early. Onl;y you can read the signs and decide when the time is right. Good luck.

[Sara Jessica]

You seem like you have this whole thing so wired Ashlyee that I'm surprised to learn your gf doesn't know. Sounds like you have enough hints laid out there. Good luck as you decide how much further to disclose, and when. As has been said, only you know if & when is the right time. However, I am always on the side of full disclosure (:2c:, for what it's worth).

[docrobbysherry]

U and your GF will be puting on each other's makeup, and shopping together as girls for ladies things ONLY, quite soon!:heehee:

U lucky dog, u!:D

[Angie G]

That's great Ashlyee good for you hun.:hugs:
Angie

[MarciManseau]

A big change from when we met and how derogatory she was about the subject watching movies with TS in them and lifetime movies.

Just that fact that you'll watch movies on Lifetime should be a huge clue for any SO :devil:

Julie and I always watch that channel too :D


Hugs, Marci and Julie :hugs:

[kristinacd55]

Ashylee, I would say that she knows.

[Vicky Perry]

Ashlyee that is very awesome :)

[RachelTVG]

She may not have said it outright, but she knows.

[Schatten Lupus]

I hope things work out for you. My girlfriend is starting to become rather comfortable with the idea of me transitioning, and it's such a relieve to have such a burden taken off my shoulders.

[Sally2005]

That's close to my situation with my wife. Although, I don't leave fem stuff sitting around, we have dabbled. I've also let my nails grow, hair, stuff like that and she eventually tells me its time to cut it. We have done halloween and she has helped me and seen me dressed. I'm not sure she is ready for a big talk...like you, I'm thinking a little bit at a time until finally one day we reach where I want to be. I'm actually thinking about taking a makeup class, for fun, but to her it would be out of character for me and she will think its funny...although, I'll just say I always wanted to do it and I'll just say its for next halloween! ;-) If you can continue as a team, then just keep advancing until you both feel free to talk about it. She doesn't know...all she knows is that you like to do a bunch of female things with her.

[Karen564]

Ashlyee,
If what you said, based on the things that she said, I would have to strongly suspect she already knows something, and maybe she's just waiting for you to confirm it, she sounds like a really nice girl & very special, and just being patient with you, and now just after seeing your trim middle with the piercing and smooth skin, I just cant believe she doesn't know already. And since she's still around, I'd take that as her acceptance to you..

Your going to have to tell her sooner or later right?, so maybe sooner will be best for both of you, no matter how it turns out in the end, but my guess is I don't think she's going anywheres, except in your arms..but you know her much better than I possibly could, so of course respectfully, that's entirely up to you on how you decide to handle it.

Best of luck Sweetie,

Karen

[Sue Too]

Dear Ashlyee,

I'm like several of the others that have responded to your post. I think she is very suspicious and in reality she probably knows. Leave a few more morsels for her to chew on and see what the reaction is. By this time next month I suspect you will be shopping together for bras and panties.

:2c:Your an absolute doll!!

Susan in Phoenix

[MJ]

read your Post again ... she is not stupid thin eyebrows + long nails + belly piecing + makeup books + hormones. and you said "OK my SO does not know about my other side"

I'm no rocket scientist but i think you need to talk with her

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

she knows and is waiting for you to tell her. As an example when I first told my daughter that I crossdressed, she told me she knew for many years, but was waiting for me to feel comfortable enough to tell her. She is fully accepting of Kimberly. :battingeyelashes:

Many times we think we are doing a good cover-up, but we aren't. We usually deceive ourselves into thinking we are good at hiding our feminine side. I agree with others that you are just too cute and feminine looking, she knows and it's time to talk with her. :battingeyelashes:

Love, Kimberly

[Ashlyee Paige]

oh forgot the full body shaving and armpits shaven and clear polish on my toenails lol, I don't think she really know but suspects something amiss, I have been doing many of these things slowly over a period of about 3 years and little by little. I have always been in lifetime, I some of the cooking and laundry and a small amount of cleaning (not that that is fem but I try to enjoy keeping house) Whenever she mentions that only girls do a certain activity (like she said when I started crocheting) I smile and tell her that I am my own person and don't let society tell me what I should and shouldn't do, and she is a rebel herself so she likes that response anyway. we are both very submissive and I think if she suspected something she might not say anything. We are not really around each other alot during the week and only 2 days are off together, and the only real quality time is little that we are able to interact. I know I must leave hints that I fail to cover up, but alot of the changes are so subtle she has gotten used to alot of it without really thinking about it. my personality has always been really feminine and I think she sees that part. She has joked alot about putting makeup on me and me dressing up, the conversation is really light and you can tell she doensn't know I did it from the conversation. even before I hot the fog again when I was not dressing when we first got together, and I always get a little excited and talk more about it but then she changes the subject to other things, not directly but other things seem to come in from both of us and the subject is forgotten again. If she does know she projects the image that she don't care what I really do as long as she dont see or know attitude, not just with dressing but with almost anything. (except cheating of course, wouldn't do that anyway). Was funny though when she saw the piercing she got a look in her eyes and said she wanted one too! I told her I would take her and go together and maybe I would get something else pierced, I was actually going to do my ears to since they had a 2 piercing special but all they had was hoops and no studs :< I couldn't wear hoops at work, against policy :< was thinking about a tattoo but can't bring myself to do that, I like the lower back ones but don't think id ever do that.

[docrobbysherry]

I stand by my earlier prediction! Going shopping together as girls soon!:D

[Rachel Morley]

Are you sure she doesn't know? In your original post you said she asked you if you were on hormones? That's not a question that gets asked very often or by someone who knows nothing about CDing or doesn't suspect. I'm not surprised she mentioned your breasts, going on your avatar and profile picture you have a fantastic cleavage! I really jealous :)

[Ralph]

As Billy Joel advises, "tell her about it." You say she is your SO... just how significant is she to you? The only way you can avoid an ugly confrontation in the future is to be proactive and tell her yourself before she pries it out of you - if she is forced to do that, she won't feel like she can trust you and she will forever be wondering what else you are hiding from her.

As others have noted, she probably has most of it figured out - and that can be much, much worse since it leaves her wondering if you're gay, if you're planning to snip any major hardware in the near future, or what. By bringing it out in the open, you can make sure she has a clear understanding of who you are and, more importantly, who you are not.

You don't have to hit her over the head with it - waltzing in on her in your favorite "Hey boys, I'm a hooker" mini and fishnets will only scare her. But you can wait for a quiet, intimate moment and say "I think it's time you know everything about me." Build up to it gradually, with frequent reassurances that you're not going to dump her and start dating her brother (unless that is what you plan to do, in which case you're a schmuck for leading her on!).

The great thing is, with such a buildup like that it's very likely she'll react like my wife did when we started dating - she was so afraid I was about to tell her I'm married or gay (or both) that when she found out it was "only" crossdressing, she was actually relieved.

A relationship built on trust and honesty is a relationship built to last. Even if you stay in the closet and never tell another soul, tell the woman you want to share your life with.

Ralph

[Paula Siemen]

Well.......I think you really look gorgeous. I'm so envious of the cleavage!!!!....I want some to!!! So how do you get the boobs? Hormones, are they doctor prescribed and are you taking them under doc's guidance? For how long and have you had other side effects?

Sorry if this is tooooo personal............but you really have a nice rack!!!

[Ashlyee Paige]

No problem! , I got the hormones (stupidly) without doctors care but have done alot of research to educate myself and my past medical history is very favorable and my dosage is low. Well after my GF had seen the books, I kinda hid them away, today she asked me about it again and I said I would get them out for her, she mentioned she wanted to change her look and was tired of the same thing all the time, and wanted to get ideas from the book, I mentioned a few changes to her and suggested I do a makeover on her and take some pics and she can figure out a new look :> She got VERY excited lol and said that would be fun! I think it went backwards, I always pictured her doing my makeup, not me being the one to do her makeup! now I need to figure out how to bring her in on me breaking out some of my makeup and brushes to use to do it, I spent WAY too much money and have a TON of product that would look good on her and most of it i didnt like or woudnt use, I think walking out with makeup at all might make her a bit apprehensive and slow down, would be nice to be able to do a great makeover, but I think I might go out and buy some brushes for her so she has good ones (she only uses the applicators and brushes included in the makeup -yuck!) she does good on herself but i think with the right tools she would look alot better. I think if we play this out a little without introducing any items would open the door a little more :> baby steps seem to be working

[Morgan Matthews]

You're a lucky girl. If she had a problem with it, I think she'd have said something by now.

[sarahNZ]

lucky girl indeed. and BTW those boobs of yours are great.

I think as the rest seem to that your SO knows more than she has let on, I also think you should come clean.

But I have to admit that from what I read that what you are doing seems to be working. I only hope that it all comes out sooner rather than later.

maybe you can open up a bit over the makeover session with your SO.

[CharleneT]

Hun, she knows !

[dilane]

Very cool, I'd say your baby steps are working.

Everyone is different, I'd just find a way to nicely tell her, but I suspect you will "transition" in your own way. She seems patient, but it seems like she knows you know and you know she knows, so you're playing a bit of a spy-vs-spy game.

Keep us posted, most of us are on the edge of our seats!

-- Diana

[Rachel B]

Just use ur brushes and make-up and see what she says........It could be just the way to open up :itsok:

Anyhew, I'm with everyone else on this, SHE KNOWS :twirl:

And nice erm, hoote.....no, er, ti....no, er, breasticles :heehee:

All the breast :doh:

Rach

[linnea]

She knows and she's fascinated and a little fearful--that's my two-cents:2c:

[Gwendolyn]

I couldn't tell from your post (and I am not familiar enough with the site to know you from other posts) if SO refers to a girlfriend or a wife.

If it does mean wife, and you are self-medicating without having discussed it with her, then you being extremely fraudulent with her and have a moral obligation to come clean ASAP.

If SO means g/f then your business is your business however I think the information should come out before moving to a next step.

I definitely wonder what kind of reasoning you could come up with to create a cover story for getting your belly button pierced?

Gwendolyn

[Ashlyee Paige]

The belly piercing was easy :> just always wanted one and liked them so I said I wanted to get it done and she said sure, its your body do whatever you want, now she wants one herself lol. some things that maybe extreme like the piercing are no problem but other small things sometimes are. kinda strange but everyones different with what they like and how far to go with different things. she knows I dont normally follow any society norms so she and I are both rebels so the piercing wasnt an issue. that is my only piercing so far, no tattoos or anything else dramatic yet.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Do you really believe that she is not wondering about you ? Surely she has caught on - keep proceeding slowly if she hasn't - but I wonder if she knows

JoAnne Wheeler

[Katie Moore]

Ash,

All long term relationships last on trust and honesty along with of course love. I'd be sitting down with her and letting her know. There are just way too many stories here where the SO has freaked out about trust and honesty issues. I really hope it works for you.

:love:

Katie

[Sedona]

Ashlyee,

First off, a very friendly suggestion. Please mix in a few paragraph breaks. The long blocks make it challenging to read.

Ok, that's out of the way. IMO, your SO already knows. Or, if she doesn't know, when you tell her, it will not come as a shock. Go ahead and tell her, it'll be fine.

Best of luck to you, and I hope her back makes a good recovery!

[Ashlyee Paige]

Point taken though Sedona, I tend to ramble on and forget about formatting paragrahs. I talk WAYYYYY to much :>