Not Transitioning and Hormones

[tiger]

Well I'm at a bit of crossroads.

I've been going around and around with myself about all of this for months. I've more or less decided that I'm not going to transition. Lots of baggage and I don't see a real advantage to do so.

I don't have the letter in hand yet, but my therapist is going to write one. I've found a doctor who has been known to administer hormones with a letter. I've got to make an appointment for a physical, which is over due. I'll have them run all the blood tests at that same time. It will also give me an opportunity to discuss all of this with the doctor.

My main thoughts and feelings for taking hormones is to relieve the anxiety associated with being transgendered. I've talked about this before in other threads, but this is going to a big step. I want to make sure I'm not doing something stupid.

There have been others that have stated that low dose of estrogen has helped with the anxiety. It's going to be estrogen or anti-anxiety drugs. I'd rather go the estrogen route and my therapist agrees.

I would like to know if anyone has or is on a low dose of estrogen? How does this make you feel. What was your breast growth? I don't want large breasts, because I'm not transitioning. My mom and sister both are D or DD, I've not asked them.

I'm planing on taking the estrogen with the patch with my doctors approval. It's going to be $5 for 90 days supply with my insurance.

[StaceyJane]

I've thought a lot about taking hormones without actually transitioning too.

[Jenna1561]

Hi. If your attempting to relieve anxiety, then you might consider an Anti-Androgen only approach to Hormone Therapy. Many girls are helped by this approach. If it doesn't do what you desire then add a low dose estrogen.

I started on 100mg Spironalactone, after 3 months added 2mg Esadiol, I'm now on 200mg Spironalactone and 4mg Estradiol daily.

For me the Spiro helped my emotional state, but when I added the Estradiol, I really felt better emotionally and physically. The 2mg E dosage along with the Spiro and I definitely noticed diminished sex drive, softening of skin, thinner body hair, and breast sensitivity.


Jen

[Karen564]

So sorry to hear about your dilemma, and I don't know how low of a dose you can go on to relieve the anxiety, but I think it would be best to talk over all your options with your doctor about the anxiety, and let him guide you to the most effective treatment, I would think there's effective drugs that can treat it, without going on hormones and then end up growing breast.
When I started my HRT, I started on a low dose, and it didn't take long before I started spouting.
So you better think long & hard before you go on hormones, unless that the ONLY option given to you, but I seriously doubt it is.

Good luck

Karen

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I think its a totally reasonable idea...the one thing i would add is that you may be surprised how you feel after you start the hormones..you may find it very difficult to go back and you may find it more neccessary to go forward.

i dont know if taking only t blockers will releive your anxiety...but if it does that might be a way to start..

good luck and take care
michele

[~Kelly~]

I am honestly not trying to be antagonistic but if the only thing you are attempting to accomplish is to relieve your anxiety, why would taking estrogen even be brought up at all? There are LOTS of drugs out there that do just that without the side effects of feminisation which you apparently don't want to do. If I missed something, then I apologize, I just don't quite understand what the question is exactly.

[Jenna1561]

Kelly there is a lot of anxiety associated with the amount of testosterone coursing through a body. Most men don't suffer and enjoy the emotional/physical aspects of testosterone. But MtF TG's may despise the effects of the Nasty T. Higher levels of anger, competitiveness, combativness, aggression, etc. as well as the physical aspects, unwanted erections, HAIR, HAIR, and more HAIR, and so forth.

Many anti-depreesants simply don't help because they do not remove the root cause of the anxiety. A T-Blocker or E does help. It truly lowers the adverse emotional levels.

I'm not a doctor, but I do speak from personal experience. Hope this helps your understanding some.


Jen

[Lisa Golightly]

...the one thing i would add is that you may be surprised how you feel after you start the hormones..you may find it very difficult to go back and you may find it more neccessary to go forward.

Agree with this totally...

[~Kelly~]

Kelly there is a lot of anxiety associated with the amount of testosterone coursing through a body. Most men don't suffer and enjoy the emotional/physical aspects of testosterone. But MtF TG's may despise the effects of the Nasty T. Higher levels of anger, competitiveness, combativness, aggression, etc. as well as the physical aspects, unwanted erections, HAIR, HAIR, and more HAIR, and so forth.

Many anti-depreesants simply don't help because they do not remove the root cause of the anxiety. A T-Blocker or E does help. It truly lowers the adverse emotional levels.

I'm not a doctor, but I do speak from personal experience. Hope this helps your understanding some.


Jen

thanks for clearing that up.......when I replied earlier I was replying without giving thought to the cause of the anxiety just the anxiety itself. However, if a transition is not desired would it be advisable to introduce estrogen when really the anxiety is caused by the testosterone? (I know E will help with the T but there are other medicines like Spiro which do a FAR better job of reducing it) Why not just address the T issue and leave the E out of it altogether? Like you I am not a doctor so i may be way off on this. I am just trying to figure out where the estrogen fits in if no physical changes are desired.

[tiger]

I'm looking at this with a holistic approach.

Why do i have anxiety? I've got a male body and hormones, but my brain says I'm a female.

Anti depressants / anti anxiety are not treating the source of my problems, it's treating the symptoms. Many doctors go round and round treating the symptoms and not the source of the problem.

I'm not opposed to the feminine characteristics of turing into a female I would very much like to live as a woman 24/7. Unfortunately through my own self imposed limitations, due to prior commitments, (ie wife). I've have to live as a man. She mostly cares about me functioning down there.

My employer hr department it ok with these sort of things, but my co-workers are not. I live in the "South" and most people around here are very much against LGBT people. (Sand bagging you at work or physical violence) I've got kids to take care of.

If I could start all over. I would have transitioned, before all of this. These are the cards I've been dealt, so somehow I've got to make a good hand out of them.


...there is a lot of anxiety associated with the amount of testosterone coursing through a body. Most men don't suffer and enjoy the emotional/physical aspects of testosterone. But MtF TG's may despise the effects of the Nasty T. Higher levels of anger, competitiveness, combativness, aggression, etc. as well as the physical aspects, unwanted erections, HAIR, HAIR, and more HAIR, and so forth.

Many anti-depreesants simply don't help because they do not remove the root cause of the anxiety. A T-Blocker or E does help. It truly lowers the adverse emotional levels.

I'm not a doctor, but I do speak from personal experience. Hope this helps your understanding some.

I cant agree more with Jenna15161.

One of the things I can't stand is the HAIR. I currently can't afford laser so I'm stuck with it for now.

I'm not a doctor, but I'm YOU and only YOU are in charge of your health. I've found that If you suggest something to a medical person that sounds half way educated they usually go with it. I'm not the smartest person, but I do read. If I'm sick I read all of the medical info I can find. Don't trust a doctor 100%. They are human and do screw up from time to time, but most won't admit it due to their ego.

While researching gender identity and hormones. There is lots of papers and information about the physical effect of hormones in transexuals, the emotional effects are kinda of side note. Emotions for the most part are not a quantitative and typically very complex. Also the effects of different drugs on ones emotions very widely.

There is also the genetic luck of the draw. No one really knows how an individuals body will react with hormones or any other drug fro that matter. There are some constants with hormones breast growth, reduced body hair, softer skin, etc. But at what degree these things happen is an unknown and is effected by age, diet, and genetics. Someone, please correct me if I'm wrong.

I do appreciate the discussion. Again, I'm just looking for a reality check to make sure I'm not doing something really off the wall.

[Jenna1561]

thanks for clearing that up.......when I replied earlier I was replying without giving thought to the cause of the anxiety just the anxiety itself. However, if a transition is not desired would it be advisable to introduce estrogen when really the anxiety is caused by the testosterone? (I know E will help with the T but there are other medicines like Spiro which do a FAR better job of reducing it) Why not just address the T issue and leave the E out of it altogether? Like you I am not a doctor so i may be way off on this. I am just trying to figure out where the estrogen fits in if no physical changes are desired.

Kelly, I agree. That's why I suggest starting with only a T-Blocker such as Spiro. Give the Spiro a chance on its own - it may do the job. I know several girls who are living much happier and satisfying lives on Spiro alone. Most however do decide to add a low dose of E because they DO want some of the feminizing effects.


Jen

[tiger]

Thanks Jen, I'll be dicussing this with my doctor. I'm exctited and scared at the same time. What ever I do, I'll let everybody know. So others can learn from my experiance.

[StephanieC]

Hi Tiger,

I'm glad you're planning to talk to a doctor when you're considering hormones. This is one area where experiementation can be harmful. Someone had a question about "why wouldn't you just block the T"? My understanding is this: 1) each person needs both E and T and 2)if you block the T, you may need more E. The body needs sufficient level of hormones to accomplish it's job. And a long-term use of E will probably have an impact on male functioning.

But I'm not an expert in this area. I just know it's good to get a doctor involved.

[kristyk]

I have been on a low dose for quiet some time becasue I can not transition but want to be ready if things work out someday.

I started out very slow 0.25mg estrogen patches my nipples tinggled and they popped out never to go back in thank god I felt I made it LOL

However now I am on 2 mg estrodiol 2 times a day I am on 100mg spiro and 20mg I believe the other one is something like Medrox something.

Anyway in a 4 year period of taken HRT I have at least a bcup My doc said as long as you take HRT you will continue to grow somewhat it may plateau and the growth may become almost non existent. My family has some very big breasted woman and I was affraid of the same thing but I have seemed to level off I don't think a lot more growyth is going to take place.

In the last two yeras I have been wearing tee shirt bras under my mens cloths not all the time and more now than ever before but not because I have to but because I want. I have never had anyone notice or say anything to me I keep this concelled pretty good but if I was you I would start off slow and see what you think and move up gardually take your time it is not a race.

Time for some fun my girls and I are going to a local freindly TG pub here and do a little socializing

Hope this helped Tiger
KristyK
:)

[Jenna1561]

Hi Tiger,

I'm glad you're planning to talk to a doctor when you're considering hormones. This is one area where experiementation can be harmful. Someone had a question about "why wouldn't you just block the T"? My understanding is this: 1) each person needs both E and T and 2)if you block the T, you may need more E. The body needs sufficient level of hormones to accomplish it's job. And a long-term use of E will probably have an impact on male functioning.

Stephanie is right on point here. A person does need hormones to function. However, reducing but not eliminating T may be helpful to some, but still leave enogh T for the body to function. But that is why everyone considering hormones should use a physician and get regular blood tests.

Jen

[tiger]

I've always wanted to go about this the proper way. I had a big relief when my theripist said that I can get a letter.

I've still not talked to the doctor, but I heard that he will perscribe as long as there is a letter and no health problems. Hopefully I'll see the doctor before the end of the month.

[natasha]

I can say starting hormones for me was more for the phsycological aspects than physical. If it were 20 years ago it would have been for both. With current life commitments a 24/7 transition would be disasterous financially and family wise, so the only choice at this point in life is to calm the gender tornado that has been going on in my head for so long. After almost 6 months of 100mg spiro and 2mg divigel I have become so much calmer and comfortable with myself it is hard to describe. Are physical changes starting? Yes. My wife has commented that my skin is softer. I dont need to shave nearly as often. And yes, breast growth is starting. For me the most important thing is my head is so much clearer, and I AM so much more comfortable with myself. How far will the physical changes go? I dont know, but I do know that if I start to look more feminine it will be a better than even trade off for the phsycological demons that have been in my head for so many years. So far it has been one of the best decisions I have made, and would not change it for the world.

[Cindi Johnson]

I also am not on a transition track, yet about two years ago I started taking a small dose of Estrofem (1 meg a day), purchased over internet w/o involvement of any physician. I wasn't expecting much.

What I hoped for and did experience: (a) initial nipple sensitivity and growth, (b) some growth of breasts, but nothing noticeable to others unless maybe I wear a tight t-shirt, (c) more fat in hips and butt, (d) a softer face, due to a bit less muscle and a bit more fat, and (d) softer skin. Overall I have a better figure.

What I wasn't expecting at all, but have experienced, is that I feel calmer, more peaceful, less troubled. Just a lot more satisfied with life. I'm a happier person. Now is this related to hormones or to other factors in my life? Obviously one cannot state either with 100% assurance: a controlled test would be necessary. But I suspect that E is responsible.

If anything, I had expected the E to increase my mood swings (aren't females notorious for that?). I surely didn't expect the opposite result.

I haven't noticed much decrease in my male sex drive; everything still functions.

Based upon what's happened to me, I am considering increasing the dose a bit.

Cindi Johnson

[Monica]

I am very much with Natasha. If all this information would have been available 30 years ago, I would have transition. Today, it would be a very selfish decision to do it in my present commitments and there is not enough time left to recover from the crisis that comes with a FT transition.

However, the gender battle in my brain had to stop. I have been on a low dose of E for 11 months and never felt better. The doctor agreed to monitor and do blood work but I order my E on Internet. Not an ideal situation but it works. I do not feel that I needed and army of therapists at $200 / hr to tell me what time it is but some people do. The mental benefits far outweigh the physical changes. yes, I do have some breast development and can fill a bra, the fat is moving to an more androgynous look and hairs grow to the right places. But so far I have been able to maintain my triathlon training without any comments. Keep in mind that the physical changes after a certain age are limited. Most that transition later in life do fall back on surgeries to complete.

It may not work for everybody but for me it was the right thing to do. Even people around have notice that I smile all the time and look happy.

Therapists or not, make sure you do your homework and it is what you want because there is no easy way back.

Hugs,

[morgan pure]

On hormones for 8 months now. The psychological effect has been enormous. These have been the happiest 8 months of my life-despite job, money and relationship hassles. Serious depression was occasional, but I'm only now realizing that I was never really happy. I'm not really thinking of transitioning-too tall, too poor. But I love the feeling. Breasts small but perfect for me.

[Victoria Anne]

Tiger , I have always had high anxiety levels . I have been on 0.05 mg of estrodil for 16 months now and my anxiety levels are way down and I find I deal wit stress much easier and do not get angry very easy anylonger. As for breast growth it has been slow and little but then I am not taking spiro . I like you am not planning on transitioning but would like more feminine features.

[tiger]

It's encouraging to hear from others who are taking a low dose of hormones and still haven't/can't transition.

I still feel isolated, other than the internet. I've had times of depression and the only thing that keeps me going is I keep telling myself that it will get better. And lately things are getting better, but there is only so much a positive attitude can do. I don't want to off myself for the last few months so I think things are getting better. I've got a wonderful SO that give me almost all the space I need to explore myself (She and I don't know what these limits are). Many would be jealous on how much freedom she does give me. I still laps in to depression from time to time and of course the anxiety it there when ever I a few moments to think.

I finished "She not there" last night and cried quite a bit. One page your laughing and the next you are crying. It was tough because I'm out of town on business and it gave my a lot to think about in my own relationship and my wife is not with me. It is just not the same talking to her about this stuff over the phone.

Thanks again for all the encouragement.

[~Kelly~]

I finished "She not there" last night and cried quite a bit. One page your laughing and the next you are crying.

What a great book right? I forget the name, but there was a show that I was watching with a friend of mine and Jennifer Boylan was interviewed. I just pointed at the TV and was like "I read her book!" LOL I think it may have been the excitement of my statement but my friend just looked at me like I was some crazy girl. :P

[kimberly_f37]

I see my Doc. wensday and he knows that I have taken hormones from the net and that I haven't taken any in for about 2 1/2 months now and it time to go back on them and NEVER QUITE THEM AGAIN and do it the right way with the Doc prescribing my meds. and I have to take paper to my doc on being a transgender person because he don't know what to give me and doses, so here I am Schooling my Doctor once again..
I can say that am more depress now since I haven't taking any HRT and I feel for Yea Tiger and Know what Ur Going through..
Doctor is the only way..

[StaceyJane]

I recently mentioned the possibility to my therapist of taking a low dose of hormones to help calm my mode swings that I get from wanting to be a woman. She wasn't for it and wants to talk about "other treatments" antidepressants?
I'm not looking to transition right now but from what I've read here some dosage of hormones might help me. I could use any advice you have.

[Bev Borden]

Where could I find more information on low dose hormones and anxiety relief?

Bev

[morgan pure]

Bev,
That's a good question. Where's Pruella?! Has the psychological community explored the theraputic aspect of HRT? Antidepressants certainly have their drawbacks (like facial tics and suicide), Es has only deepsomethingthrombosis.
M

[kimberly_f37]

Where could I find more information on low dose hormones and anxiety relief?

Bev

How much does ur Doctor knows about HRT for men.?
I would suggest do Your Home work and print the info out for ur doc and go from there. !
So do some home work and give it to ur doc.
There Is NO Pills for Anxiety when ur wanting to Transgender and taking antidepressed isn't the way to Go either because of the side effects, my doc put me on Paxil and I didn't like the feeling of hope lessness, so I would shy away from antidepressent myself, I seen alot of friends go from bad to worst or just plan useless. Sorry..
I deal with the Anxiety the best way I can..

[natasha]

Hormones and the mental state:

Tonight I had a meeting about our budget (local government), which was very stressful to begin with. One of the attendees and I have had some very serious issues in the past. Just being in the same room with this individual has led to an arrest in the past. Needless to say emotions were extremly high, and this does not include the subject matter of the meeting.

Since the arrest matter it made me re-evaluate who I was and who I always felt I should be. As you may have guessed I acted on my lifelong gender issues and started to seek therapy which eventually has led to hormones.

Knowing that I was wired differently, all my life, and not being able to do anything about it caused an immense amount of stress in itself. Add to that, being in the situation of being married with kids, a mortgage almost made it impossible to be the person I knew I was inside. I decided that if I could'nt BE the woman that I knew was inside, I could at least FEEL like the woman I knew was inside.

Now to the point (:battingeyelashes:). The meeting was difficult with much bickering and bantering, but I held my cool to the point I even suprised myself. To the point that I emotionally stood back to review the discussion and knocked the SOB on his butt, to the point he had no response. This happened several times. After the meeting we crossed paths again, and had a lengthy discussion about wider ranging issues. Again, I was able to conduct myself professionally but very direct. Once more he was beside himself without a valid response on several occasions. Needless to say I was proud of myself, and wasn't looking for bail money.

I cannot express enough how much starting hormones has changed my thought process, emotional state, and the general way I handle myself daily.

I'll stop now, its getting late. Sorry for rambling, but I feel better!!!:D

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Another one is "Dressed in Blue", which i found to be less well written but more brutally honest than "She's not there"...both were great and really important to read for me..

tiger....be careful....you start taking hormones and reading these books and you'll be transitioned and you won't even know it!!! :heehee:

[marie rose]

Natasha said it very well. I too was angry and short tempered pretty well all the time and didn't know why. I was miserable and was making life miserable for those around me. That all changed when I accepted myself as TS and went on estrogen. The cyclone that raged in my head subsided and I become much calmer and more patient. The constant anguish and torment that I felt before became a thing of the past. That was the big thing for me. Body modification is just an added bonus. Life is pretty good now.

[Sejd]

Hi Tiger
I believe that everyone here on the Forum are different. We all have different situations to deal with. So far, I have been lucky. My partner and wife for now 30 years is totally supportive of me living as a woman, but cannot accept living with a partner who loose all sex drive or the functionality of my maleness. So, well, yes, it is a compromise, like everything in life is. You know, if we live, as I do , in a comited relationship, there has to be some give and take. So in my case, the answer to complete transition is that I have to live in a situation which works for the both of us. I see that as a reasonable choice, at least for my self, but I also know that others cannot do that. So that brings me back to my opening sentence. We are all different. Whatever works is what works. :-)
Good luck, and thanks for sharing. Clearly, a lot of girls here has the same situation.
Sejd:hugs:

[Maia C]

I was on a very low dose of Estrace for about nine months. My anxiety disappeared. It was also affirming of the feelings that I had kept inside for sooooo long. I did not experience any breast growth but there was some fat redistribution from my midsection to my butt and upper thighs. My skin also became noticeably clearer and smoother - a coworker gave me an odd look one day and said "you look different". I told him I had lost some weight.

When my voice cracked (yes, it really happened) a few times I became very self-conscious and decided to stop. I have no regrets about trying - if I was committed to transitioning none of this would have been a concern.

Maia

[Michelia]

This is the first time I ever looked into this area of the forum. I was checking on the swimming thread. Not being a transexual, I never ventured.

I do have something to say on on this however, as we do have some things in common.

Do trust a doctor - find one you can trust.

T blockers are a much safer way than E. Only reason I am saying this is because you mention you have kids. I am in the same boat and I have to think of them. If I was single, I would already be using my E which is still sitting in my medicine cabinet. Is the possibility, no matter how remote, of getting a thrombosis or pulmonary embolism and dying or being crippled for life worth it? I am not saying you cannot do it. Like others have said, we are all on our own world. Just think about it. Or at least look for other ways to handle your issues before you go this route. And you better have good life insurance.

A T blocker, particularly if you go with finasteride, will not impair your sexual function nearly as much as E. I am taking 5 mg a day and have noticed no effect down there. You have about a 1 to 2 % chance of impotence.

I may still try a low dose of E down the road. I know that appears contradictory, but I do not want to look like a fool down the road either. I am just being cautious at this time. The risks do go up with age and weight and blood pressure.

[TerryTerri]

Hey Tiger,
I'm basically attempting to do what you asked about. Taking hormones and not transitioning. Advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are many for me. The hormones give me a more complete, less fractured feeling. Before hormones the only time I ever felt anything like that was when I was in a place I could relax in femme. Normally I do not have a chance to do much femme at all. It is so so nice to walk around feeling not fractured but more complete and whole. God it's a big difference to me. However, it's sort of oxymoronic, but, when I'm taking the hormones, feeling whole, I don't feel like I need to take them. I have to remind myself that taking them is why I don't feel like I need to take them. I no longer feel the overwhelming desire to dress in femme, which is more a liberation. I don't feel inslaved to having to dress up. But, I do still enjoy it!
Now then, the disadvantages, at least my list and my take on them. First off the health stuff like dvt, etc.. I walk a lot more than most, I'm in pretty good physical shape and I also take low dose aspirin. As all things in life, you roll the dice and take your chances. You do what you reasonably can do to improve your odds of things going the way you want. But, in the end you risk your life stepping out the door in the morning, a plane could crash on your head. lol. Each has to weight the risks. I think it is VERY VERY important to read tons of material about the chemicals, the risks, others horror and success stories, etc. So that one can feel like they have taken an honest evaluation themselves, not just a doctor's advice.
The other disadvantage of hormones while not transitioning. After a couple years of hrt, you will need to either quit hormones or get an orchi (surgery to remove testees). The risks of long term heavy use of hormones, which is the dosage levels needed when your body still has testees is not good. Basically, once a person gets to the point that they really are certain, it's probably a good idea to get the orchi as soon as feasible. My opinion. I'm not ready for an orchi yet (btw, with my age and existing children, sterility is a non-issue for me).
The big thing, so to speak, eventually those boobies are going to grow and start sticking out!! what are you going to say or do about that? In my case, this is my 'thing'. First off, I'm 49 so my body is starting to age anyway and since I'm starting at an older age, the hormones will not effect me as much as if I started taking them in my 20's. Using the age thing to advantage, if anybody ever gets nosy enough to actually ask about my boobies, and I thing a few co-workers will. I plan on vaguely explaining it's a side effect of some prostate medication I'm having to take. btw, I do have an enlarged prostate, normal for my age, but the finasteride is a good duel use medication. I never really go out in public without a shirt anyway. I almost never wear shorts. So, I'm pretty set on much of this stuff.
Okay, one more thing I want to add and then I'll shut up. My first goal is to find comfort and resolution, if possible, without transitioning. However, a full transition may be my answer in the end. I just don't know how far down the path I will need to journey to find the internal peace and comfort I desire. My therapist issued me a stern warning before I started hormones. She warned me that once I start hormones I am beginning a path that she can't guarentee where it will end. A full blown transformation may no longer be quite so optional for me. She wanted me to understand that well before I started hormones. I understand what she meant in that already, after only a month (2 months if you count my impatience and use of non-legitimate hormones) I have a very hard time thinking I'll EVER stop taking these. I like the internal change so so much. I'm not different, I'm just more me.
Okay, sorry so verbose. Hope it may help someone.

[Sejd]

Dear Tiger. Being a TS or TG is a confusing situation for sure. Your opening post reflect that confusion. You want to remain outwardly a "guy" because of your job, your geographical location, your wife's preference on the sexual issue, etc. etc. I just want to share with you some of my own observations without judgment of your experience. I have found that after I embarked on this journey, there was really no way back, and there is no way I could get away with "fooling" anyone that I was a normal "guy" because the changes in me just became obvious. I started electrolysis, had my hair cut girl-style and it is frankly impossible for me to dress as a normal guy anymore. There are people I cant come out to, so I avoid them, there are places I have to be somewhat careful about going etc. If you want to live in two worlds, I just don't see how you can embark on breast enlargement or take hormones and think you are still going to appear "Normal, as in Guy" to other people. I am not on hormones, and I have changed so much, I can't even think how I would look on hormones. Now we all have our different journey to travel here, and you are the only one who will figure out how to travel your path as a TS.
My advice to anyone is always the same. Take your time and let time do it's wonderful work with you. Even small steps will lead you to the summit.
hugs
Sejd

[morgan pure]

Terry and Scottie-

Hello! I'm exactly where you are. But the last time I ordered patches, they only had *'s. They gave me a growth spurt. Soon my little ex is going to notice.

I really don't want to transition. I'm too tall. I can't afford the clothes. But I want to dress so you can see my cleavage. I want a new sex classification.

[Linda Z]

Terry and Scottie-

I really don't want to transition. I'm too tall. I can't afford the clothes. But I want to dress so you can see my cleavage. I want a new sex classification.

so do what you want. Just research where you are going!

[morgan pure]

Well I have the advantage(?) of age. I noticed my teststerone levels decrease naturally through my fifties. Gonads make both hormones. Women have testosterone too, just much much less (except for some chicks I know). Males produce estrogen too, I'm told. The E I've been taken has had a dramatic effect on my mental state. It's true that I haven't thought it out. But the joy I've experienced in the last year has been worth ALL the risks (and there are). I have developed such a capacity for love that people have noticed it. Enemies at work are nicer to me.

[tiger]

I've been away for awhile dealing with this whole thing. I started taking celexa and had some very bad side effects with it for the first two weeks. (headaches, feeling of being high, & very tired all the time) The side effects now have all passed witch is good and I generally feeling better.

My therapist and I have deiced to wait a couple of months to see how the celexa is working before I start E. I would have wanted to push harder for the letter, but I felt very weird with the side effects of the celexa. I wanted to make sure I'm thinking correctly.

Since the last time I posted I've had my blood work done. I found that my total T was low and I also have low E. The T was 211 ref 241-827 and the E was 35 ref 13-51. My MD said that I'm healthy enough to take E when the time is ready. I've got an appointment to go back in 3 months.

Two interesting things when talking to my MD.

He is also treating another patient like me who doesn't/can't transition who is taking E.

He also stated that by taking E is should drive my T levels lower and I shouldn't need to take T blockers to get the effects of the E.

I've still got a lot of stuff to work out in my head.

[morgan pure]

Tiger,
Hi. I started straight on low dose E after years of store-bought herbals which did nothing. I've graduated to patches and real development. It's funny-transitioning would be very difficult for me, impossible now, and I have avowed my appreciation of presenting as a male in a lot of social and professional situations, but my mind is increasingly femme. Every minute I can I dress up. Every minute. When I have to go to the store or work, it's a chore to change. Still, I can't transition unless I get a nice settlement from the Church. I'm not religious, but I pray a lot lately, and thank the Virgin for my new body. I also can't stand doing makeup- I used to to drag all the time, went out every weekend, but it's so much work now!
Morgan