How do I get out of this?

[ria_ts]

...

[jillleanne]

Hi Ria,
First you should be clear in knowing when you are at what seems to be the bottom, you only have one way to go and that's up. Keep that glass half full hon, not half empty. You can and will bounce back. All of us seem to go through struggles at times, and I accept them as challenges and refuse to lose so you do the same, ok?
Your best bet of course for the semen issue is stay connected to your doctor and keep them up to date as to what's happening.
I understand how you feel about the family acceptance isues but it's important you realize, it's your life, not theirs, and they need to come to terms with who you are, not you. They will just require more time to adjust and accept you for you. Love will conquer all in the long run even if some pain along the way occurs so try to be as patient as possible with them and remind yourself you love them no matter what, even with their faults.
You'll be just fine hon. You have a ton of fans cheering for you all over the world. The pieces will all fall into place when they are supposed to.
Hugs, Jill

[Lisa Golightly]

Ria,

I wouldn't quite know where to start... One thing I do know is that I'd personally not be comfortable discussing some of your questions in open forum. Have you considered joining the M2F Safe Haven section of the site? There is a link on the front page...

The choices we face are beyond difficult in the main... and at times I can see all my confidence seep away in seconds, but I know what I need, and that's what I do... even if I seem to stop and start erratically...

I think we tend, in times of stress, to have too many areas in our life to focus on so it all becomes a blurry mess... All you can do is prioritize and work through things one at a time... Talk to your therapist... they'll help you focus.

Hope to see you in the Safe Haven, or feel free to pm me anytime...

Love

Lisa x

[Nicki B]

Lisa's comment is very wise, IMHO.

Trying to solve too many problems at once (transitioning, health issues, finances, work, relationships) will overwhelm you - pick away at one at a time and ignore the rest?


There's only one way you can eat an elephant - that's one chunk at a time?

[Lisa Golightly]

Please talk to us Ria... I always worry when people are quiet...

[Zenith]

Hi Ria...we are here to listen.

Let me tell you the Chinese proverb...if you have a large bundle of sticks and you try to break them all at once...you will struggle and struggle and not break a single one...if you remove one stick at at time from the bundle and break it you can complete the task with far less difficulty...so as everyone was saying...try to tackle one thing at a time and hang in there...:hugs:

[Sally2005]

Sometimes stress/depression can cause you body to shut down or you may experience other symptoms. Best to talk to your doctor and focus on feeling good about yourself. It is pretty hard to find work if you are not feeling good. You might have to hold off on your plans until you are finacially stable and you are who you are, so don't let anyone else make you feel bad about your situation. This forum is a great place to talk to others about yourself if you family is not knowledgable. Tell your doctor how you feel.

[ria_ts]

Thanks for your messages!

I appreciate your concern for me, Lisa, I have not had anybody care for me in a long time so it means a lot to me.

I had an emergency appointment with my doctor and another with my therapist.

My doctor said the same thing that Sally said about my body shutting off functions because I am depressed. She said that I should try to get over the depression first and that other problems, including the semen problem I mentioned, might just resolve on their own.

My therapist suggested that I continue to stop the transition process, stay with family for some time, deal with other problems, and then return to transition. She said that several people have stopped transition for financial or other reasons and they have been able to return to transition at a later point. She also said that she personally knows mtf transexuals who have happy relationships with lesbian partners and that I should not give up hope based on the few things that have happened in the last three months.

I realize that I do not have people to talk with other than people I pay, such as the therapist, whom I cannot afford anymore (because I am broke). Non-judgmental people I can meet and talk with is my biggest need at present.

[Lisa Golightly]

I appreciate your concern for me, Lisa, I have not had anybody care for me in a long time so it means a lot to me.

I realize that I do not have people to talk with other than people I pay, such as the therapist, whom I cannot afford anymore (because I am broke). Non-judgmental people I can meet and talk with is my biggest need at present.

But that's why I'm on the forum Angel... because I do care.

You feel free to contact me whenever. (I did try to pm you but couldn't. The option wasn't there... Maybe something to do with the number of posts you've made?)

I'm so pleased you've managed to gain focus... Really pleased *hug*

Lisa xxx

[ria_ts]

How do I join the Safe Heaven? I have noticed the suggestion several time but I do not see any option anywhere to be able to join the group. When I click the Safe Heaven option, I get a regular forum page, but with zero messages and nothing that lets me subscribe or join or request permission to join.

I realized this weekend that even if I am dead, nobody would even come looking for me until a few months when my bills turn up unpaid. It was this scary thought that made me cry out for help today and get to my doctor and therapist. I slept for two hours this evening after returning from myappointments, and these are my first two hours of sleep in a very long time!

[Lisa Golightly]

I hear you... I'm an insomniac... the phrase 'Bitter watches of the night' always seemed apt to me in my restlessness. You should never try and think during insomnia... Fact!

As for the Safe Haven... I think you click where it says **announcement** it'll highlight.

Awwwww... you've got me now... you may not want me (lol) but I'm kinda there... If you want. :)

Talk soon :)

Lisa xxx

[Sharon]

How do I join the Safe Heaven? I have noticed the suggestion several time but I do not see any option anywhere to be able to join the group. When I click the Safe Heaven option, I get a regular forum page, but with zero messages and nothing that lets me subscribe or join or request permission to join.



Ria, if you can't figure it out, just send me a private message (you have enough posts to do so now) and I will admit you myself, though I normally prefer not to do it this way.

By the way, I don't think your original (now deleted) post was too much information at all. I hope you feel comfortable posting whatever it is you are feeling once you join Safe Haven. That's what it is here for. :)

[ria_ts]

Thanks Sharon and Lisa!

I found the link to request permission to join the Safe Heaven group.

Also thanks to everyone else who has responded to guide me to safety.