I m a relationship she will not let me crossdress

[debbie J]

Hi is there anyone out there that will share my love of woman's clothes makeup and all things girlly, my partner will not even talk about with me I would love her to see the other side of me,I'm not gay and want to be girlly sometimes with her

[Sandra]

Hi

I've moved this to the MtF as the clothing section really wasn't the right place.

Perhaps you can tell us a little more about you and your partner, like did you tell her or did she find out, how long has she known, then maybe we can give you some suggestions to help you both.

[gwen cd]

My heart bleeds for you.
It breaks my heart to hear that your other half does not approve.
Time heals all.
Give her some time she might just come arround.

We are all here for you!

[Jess_cd32]

Hi is there anyone out there that will share my love of woman's clothes makeup and all things girlly

Hmmm, I can't think of anyone here like that offhand:heehee: JK

How long have you been in this relationship?
If its relatively new, you have to ask yourself, and her if this is going to work out were you both can be happy. If not choices will have to be made unfortunatly.

[MarciManseau]

Hi is there anyone out there that will share my love of woman's clothes makeup and all things girlly, my partner will not even talk about with me I would love her to see the other side of me,I'm not gay and want to be girlly sometimes with her

I think what you should be saying is that you choose to remain in a relationship where your partner doesn't like you to cross dress.

[Connie D50]

Deb Not sure how many would agree with me on this. I have been tring for 30 plus years for my SO to come around. God knows she trys but she will never get to the place where I would love her to be. So my point if you want your SO to accept and or or be part of Debbie. Make sure that you pick someone that is open to it. I think a very small % that start out not wanting any part of it comes around to being a part of it. I almost find it harder for my SO to try and then stop cold then try again and stop cold.

Connie

[jruiz]

Hi

I've moved this to the MtF as the clothing section really wasn't the right place.


I'm confused. Isn't all crossdressing about clothing :D :tongueout

[MJ]

you need to give us more information . with very little information that we have right now all i could say is go find a woman that is OK with your dressing
cause over time your dressing issues will just get worse as will your relationship

[sarahNZ]

hmmm let me see...:D

Yep I think WE might just be able to help you.

I am sorry to hear that your SO soes not support your needs, but you are in good hands here. You will find a number of us "girls" are in the same boat, (I have been in this damn boat for a while and am still looking for the bloody paddles) :hugs:

I hope you can sort things out, but you can always call on your sisters for a shoulder to cry on if you need one. Otherwise we can just talk makeup and pretty pink things etc etc :tongueout LOL

[Holly]

Sorry, Debbie. There is just too little information in this one post of yours to make a meaningful comment. Is this a GF or spouse? Long term or short term? Are there children involved? How much about yourself have you told her already?

[Ralph]

Debbie,

You can try explaining that this is a part of who you are, and not something you can just give up like quitting smoking. Make it clear that you still love only her and (assuming it's true) have no desire or plans to become a woman; try to find a compromise that will give you room to dress while providing boundaries that will meet her needs (e.g., only dress at home, something like that).

And if she still can't accept it --- you have to decide whether it's easier to give up the dressing or give up the person. I'd sure hate to have to make that decision... so I hope you're able to find some way to agree. Good luck!

ralph

[LA CINDY LOVE]

Hi is there anyone out there that will share my love of woman's clothes makeup and all things girlly, my partner will not even talk about with me I would love her to see the other side of me,I'm not gay and want to be girlly sometimes with her
Not going to happen.... if she dose not want to talk to you about....then she sure dose not want to see that side of you dress at all, do not try to push your crossdressing on her if you want to keep your relationship.

The best thing to do is sit back and give her time, let her come to you about your crossdressing.


LA CINDY LOVE

[docrobbysherry]

Unless u r in prison, NO ONE CAN MAKE U DO ANYTHING u don't want to do!:eek:

If u wish to give your SO the POWER to be your jailer, that's YOUR choice!:doh:

Everyone makes MANY choices every day! That means EVERY DAY u get a chance to MAKE A DIFFERENT CHOICE from yesterday's!:)

[Hope]

There are lots of women in the world who are open to CDing men - if you read the posts here you will find many of the girls here are dating / married to them. There are also as you are well aware (and if you read the posts here will find) many women who are not open to cross dressing men.

There are only two possible ways for a relationship to end, either you will break up, or you will spend the rest of your life with this woman.

I am sure that you have found by now that your desire to CD will not go away on it's own, and is not really something you can be cured of, even if you wanted to be cured. So you will have to decide if this (a woman not being open to your dressing) is something that is a deal breaker for you in a relationship. Every person has deal breakers - some folks won't date drug users, some won't date republicans, some won't date cross dressers (what an elite group to be a part of!) You have to decide if this is something that is a deal breaker for you.

You can wait and see if this woman comes around - people do change and grow - but I would not wait for too long. While you are waiting for this woman to change, you may miss the girl who would love to swap make-up tips with her boyfriend.

But remember that you are not the only one who gets to make a decision about the termination of your relationship... your cross dressing might be a deal breaker for her too...

In the end, I wouldn't trade one part of me for another - I couldn't settle for anything less than the whole package - which is available for you - but that is a decision only you can make.

[jruiz]

There are lots of women in the world who are open to CDing men

It sound easy, but how do you find her? Specially without getting out of the closet.

It's not a good hit phrase: "Hi, can I buy you a drink? By the way, I crossdress..."

[Ralph]

It sound easy, but how do you find her? Specially without getting out of the closet.

It's not a good hit phrase: "Hi, can I buy you a drink? By the way, I crossdress..."

Would you say "Hi, can I buy you a drink? By the way, I never remember to put the toilet seat back down." ? First you spend some time (hours, days, weeks) doing the mating ritual to find out if you're compatible on the most basic level; no need to bring up anything scary until/unless it looks like you stand a chance of actually staying together. THEN you put all your cards on the table. "Buffy, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. So before we take this any further, you need to know all about me - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Are you ready for that?"

If you tell her and she walks out, you've saved the both of you years of misery (but you'll always have Paris). If you tell her and she's OK with it, good on ya. And if you try to hide it and 20 years later she comes home from work early and finds you prancing around in her bra - no jury in the world would convict her.

ralph

[JulieC]

It sound easy, but how do you find her? Specially without getting out of the closet.

It's not a good hit phrase: "Hi, can I buy you a drink? By the way, I crossdress..."

What Ralph said above.

But, expanding on that...

Don't waste your time. Time is precious. After you've got the basics covered on compatibility, and you find yourself really falling in love with the person, let her know about the CDing. Don't hide it. At this point, you've got little to lose. You might have invested 1-3 months into the relationship, but that's not much. If she doesn't accept, then break it off and on to the next. In this way, you can date several women per year and find one who supports you and whom you love.

There's no scientific studies on the acceptance level of women and their crossdressing men. Various surveys here and from other Internet sources suggests that roughly 50% of women are accepting in that they're not going to reject you for crossdressing. Of that 50%, about half will be supportive, and about 5-10% will be actively, strongly supportive (buy clothes for you, help you with dressing, go out with you, encourage you to dress, etc. and various combinations of those).

There's more women out there than you think who will support you. They're not walking around with shirts on that say "Hey, I love crossdressers! Ask me out!" anymore than you're walking around with a shirt on that says "I'm a single crossdresser and looking!" You've got to take the steps to find her.

Keep in mind...many women don't even know if they'd BE supportive or not. Most haven't been exposed to the idea yet. Women don't grow up with the fairy tale being finding their knight in shining white wedding dress and 4" heels and living happily ever after. That doesn't mean though that women will instantly reject you.

Of the women in my life who have known of my crossdressing, one was unaccepting at first, accepting later. Another was slightly accepting, but largely unaccepting and critical. Another was strongly accepting, and actively turned on by it. The last, my now wife, is openly accepting and supportive.

[Pink Annie]

My other half doesn't agree with my CDing so I keep it out of sight. Not much else I can do. She thinks men are masculine and dressing as a women is wrong, wrong, wrong.

I've travelled a lot and seen many things that my partner couldn't imagine, so..... in the closet I'll stay, for a little while longer anyway. :)

[Tina B.]

Hi is there anyone out there that will share my love of woman's clothes makeup and all things girlly, my partner will not even talk about with me I would love her to see the other side of me,I'm not gay and want to be girlly sometimes with her

Is your partner a girl friend, or a wife? If it's girl friend we are talking about then you need to come to terms with just what you want out of life, and decide if she fits into those plans, long term. If its a wife, then you do have a problem if she won't even talk. If what you do is against everything she believes in, you will have an uphill battle trying to get her to listen, and probably never get her to like it, or want to play with you at it. Then it becomes, will she give you your own space, and time, for you to explore that part of you on your own. If not then it is time for you to make a choice about just what is important to you. People may say you are selfish, for taking the path the is best for you, but staying in a bad relationship, where you have no freedom is not a fun way to live. And sometimes the second time around, is so much better than that first time was!
Tina

[Ralph]

Women don't grow up with the fairy tale being finding their knight in shining white wedding dress and 4" heels and living happily ever after.

I don't have anything new to add to this thread, I just wanted to see that again. What a great image! It made me smile.

Sir (?) Ralph

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Oh Debbie, welcome to the world of crossdresser with typical spouse - I really feel for you - I am going through some really tough times right now with my spouse over crossdressing
My heart goes out to you
Your sister,
JoAnne Wheeler

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hi Debbie,

Let's face it, it's near impossible to make someone like something when clearly they don't. All you can do is keep communicating without being over pushy about things.

It's taken several months but my wife now accepts Tash, to the point where I no longer have to hide make up and store clothes in the spare bedroom. She won't encourage or participate, but she is accepting and relatively understanding.

Try and aim for some mutuallty agreeable ground rules, for example, keep your clothes and make up etc out of sight in exchange for some private girl time every week or so.

Good luck - don't give up

Cheers

Tash :)