Self expression

[Victoria Anne]

We all express ourselves in many way's. It is our God given right and the means by which we set ourselves apart from the rest of the world. I have heard it said by GG's ( and GG's please feel free to chime in here, your thoughts would be appreciated.)Many GG's have said that they dispise us (TG/CD be it MTF or FTM) as they claim we are mocking them and what it means to be a woman.

Self expression...we convey this in our speech , our actions but most of all in our dress , our presentation. It say's alot about us and who we are , educated or not , rich or poor. Wheather we take pride in ourselves or not. We further difine ourselves by our adornments , our jewelry. When women go out , especially for an evening affair they dress there best. There make up just right , the perfect dress and heels , the jewelry all to exact the perfect image of feminine desire ... the ultimate of beauty and grace ... desire.

So then what is our goal ? to mock women ? certainly not . Is our aim a sexual one ? for some yes , I can only speak for myself. What I strive for has nothing to do with women and evrything to do with myself.Being true to myself. I want to feel pretty , I want to look good and and be desirable but it is simply about my own comfort. In my presentation my goal is simply to be myself ... for a woman her presentation is meant to look good , to be the example of feminine desire. So by extention is it not the same for us ? No offense is intended , nor flattery but simply to be true to one own self , to be who we are, to be who I am , and yes that is to be the best woman I can be because that is who I am.

What are your thoughts ?

[Satrana]

GG's have said that they dispise us (TG/CD be it MTF or FTM) as they claim we are mocking them and what it means to be a woman.
Well CDs have only themselves to blame. Many CDs state they crossdress in order to become a woman. Add on top full emulation with all the trickery and of course an outsider will take a literal view of what CDs say and do. It is easy to understand why some would consider it mockery.



What I strive for has nothing to do with women and evrything to do with myself.Being true to myself. I want to feel pretty , I want to look good and and be desirable but it is simply about my own comfort. I agree it has nothing to do with women, if it did then this would be an indicator of transsexualism.

Another way to think about what we are doing is to understand what femininity means in our society. It has become a product in its own right, detached from the reality of womanhood and refined into a desirable good. It is like how people glorify wine forgetting that it is nothing more than grape juice.

We consume femininity because we enjoy it for ourselves. Like a wine connoisseur we delight in taking time and effort to investigate the sensual pleasures of consumption. Society tells us it is taboo for males to drink the wine of femininity but the taste is too good to ignore.

We consume wine because we like it. We are not mocking anyone if we don't follow the rules of wine tasting and just gulp the wine down. It is up to us to decide how we enjoy drinking our wine.

The problem that CDs and GGs face alike is understanding femininity and womanhood are two separate things. One is a refined product, the other is a life experience.

[Kate Simmons]

Satrana is right. Womanhood is a lifetime experience. Femininity is a choice.:)

[Jess_cd32]

I dress the way I do because thats my personal taste, I enjoy looking sexy and work my attire to show off any assets I may have.

Do I veiw this as mocking women? certainly not in any way shape or form.
I adore women and have the deepest respect for them, especially what most have to go thru daily to look their best.

If I was a woman, my mode of dress would be pretty much as it is now, just toned down abit if going out. I dress for me, thats my personality I'm wearing, abit wild maybe but thats who I am.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

We are who are - we are Crossdressers - we don't do this to mock women; we don't do this to attract men; we don't do this because we are gay - we do this because we are born this way and deep within us is a feminine side to our being that has to be expressed or we end us with severe emotional and physical problems.

We did not ask to be this way, but we are this way - we can not change who or what we are - we are who we are

JoAnne Wheeler

[Christa001]

Perfectly said,JoAnne. I wholeheartedly agree with you !!
:worship:

Christa

[battybattybats]

The problem that CDs and GGs face alike is understanding femininity and womanhood are two separate things. One is a refined product, the other is a life experience.

But the life experience of a trannsexual woman will be different from a cissexual woman.

And the life experience of an Intersex woman may be very different indeed even from that of another Intersex woman, for example one may know from childhood of their Intersex condition while another may have surgery performed on them as a baby and be raised as a boy only to discover in their teens that genetically and mentally and internally they are in fact a woman.

Sooo.... how do we decide which of these others is really a woman? or must we sub-catagorise woman?

Which experiences denote womanhood?

[Senban]

Well rather than write something new, I'll repeat something from one of my posts a few days ago.


Personally I crossdress as an act of self-expression. It's a way of releasing who I am inside, at least to a degree. I'm not a guy trying to emulate a GG - I'm me, expressing myself without restriction and restraint. As the person inside is predominantly female in nature, that means that my self-expression is predominantly female, even though I have a predominantly male physical form (for now at least). Sometimes I have to restrain myself and wear dull clothing that for want of a better term I'll call "male". Most of the time I wear casual "female" clothing, tee shirts, jeans, skirts, hoodies, boots, shoulder bag, a few touches of jewellery; every day girl-next-door stuff. Sometimes I'll be more feminine and wear a dress. It depends on where I am, where I'm going, what I'm doing and how I feel. I won't lie, sometimes it's difficult to express myself the way I want to and I'll bow to (usually imaginary) peer pressure but that's something I work on a little more each day. Of course, while I'm predominantly female, I still have male aspects and so I need to allow them expression too.

Victoria Anne said - "Many GG's have said that they dispise us (TG/CD be it MTF or FTM) as they claim we are mocking them and what it means to be a woman."

I'll be honest with you, I have never personally come across this attitude so I'm not sure where it's coming from. I've actually found in my own experiences that, with one possible exception (an ex-girlfriend) GG are actually unbelievably accepting. I mean just today in work one of the admin staff called me over to ask my opinions on a website about dresses to see which one I thought would suit her. Another member of staff saw my bangles and said that she had a very similar set in black rather than the purple I was wearing, that she'd bring them in for me and if I liked them I could have them. Other members of staff are always asking me how I get my nail polish so well done and look after my nails. I could continue giving lots of examples but you get the idea. My girlfriend and I go openly shopping together. I've never had so much as a smirk from a sales assistant, even when I've been buying knee high boots and trying them on, debating the pros and cons of one pair over another. In my own experiences, GG have never seen me as attempting to become a woman or pretending that I am one. They've seen me as me expressing myself. Sure it's possible that as I continue to work with my therapist that I will lean towards making permanent changes to some degree but that's far down the road right now.

The more I think about the question though, I can imagine how a GG could be insulted to a degree by a man wearing prosthetics to emulate a woman. I imagine that if I went to work wearing breast forms, my female colleagues would possibly think of me differently, perhaps imagining that I was making a mockery of them. But because I just present myself as I am, I think it might explain why I've not come across this attitude myself. If I grew boobs or had implants I think that would be more accepted than if I wore breast forms. To be honest I need to think about that some more as it's not something I've thought about before now :)

[deja true]

When the "mockery" complaint first came up in a thread a few weeks ago, I couldn't believe it either. But I think it may have been just a mis-apprehension on the part of the poster. Surely, the most outrageous of drag queens might be seen as mocking women sometimes, but most not.

For me, a bit of a conversation with a sister at BeAll last summer kind of stuck and, to a great extent, covers a lot of how I feel about dressing and wanting to go out. She said " I dress like this because when I dress like a man, nobody pays the slightest attention to me. As a man I am ordinary looking and appear to be boring. But as Marlena, I attract other people to talk to, to dance with, to become friends with, to share something special and exciting."

No indeed...it's not about mocking at all. It's not about becoming a woman. It's not even about passing. It's about becoming a whole person...a unique person...an attractive person...a person who feels wanted and appreciated.

:)

[Satrana]

Sooo.... how do we decide which of these others is really a woman? or must we sub-catagorise woman?

Which experiences denote womanhood? Womanhood is not defined as being a set of particular experiences rather it is facing life's activities understanding yourself to be a woman. It is a state of awareness applied to whatever you are doing.

Femininity on the other hand is a defined set of behaviors and attitudes which when expressed together, usually in the absence of masculine behaviors and attitudes, is recognized by society as being ideally suitable and favorable to your socially imposed gender.

[Satrana]

No indeed...it's not about mocking at all. It's not about becoming a woman. It's not even about passing. It's about becoming a whole person...a unique person...an attractive person...a person who feels wanted and appreciated.

Excellent summation.

We consume femininity because it gives us benefits and fulfills desires we lack as men. We are invisible and disposable as men but invoking femininity addresses these issues. It is the gender equivalent of becoming a Hollywood star. We crave what we don't have but those who already have stardom complain and desire anonymity.

Everyone is seeking a balance where we can have the best of both worlds. People would love to have a tap to turn these attributes on and off at will. CDs happen to have such a tool.