No Freedom No Satisfaction

[Ritu]

I am married and no one knows about my cross dressing (except for you guys now :).

i cannot really buy and maintain my own wardrobe. use to borrow from my mom and sister before and now its wife cupboard. the problem is that size does not fit properly and i am unable to enjoy the look. earlier it used to when i was younger but not any more as obviously my body has grown. i specially have problem with creating breasts as no way my wife's bra would fit me and i cannot keep even one for myself.

another issue is that i cannot shave my body hair which again spoils the look. i m a working professional and lead a normal man's life most of the time so cannot even think of shaving body hair.

having seen your fotos, i am sure its going to leave me very unsatisfied.. next time when i dress up.

do any of you experience the same problem?.. any thoughts on way out?

[Bev Borden]

Discussing it and being honest is the best way, even if its the hardest thing you have ever done. Not doing that just makes a pressure cooker that over time will explode. Its very hard but its self acceptance.

Bev

[Sheila]

Okay from a GG ......... borrowing your wifes things is a very big NO NO ...........

can you give us some more information, how long have you been married, do you have kids, any more info helps us with giving you some advice

[Victoria Anne]

I told my wife the night before our first date , for some coming out a little at a time works but if you are ever going to be happy you need to talk to her. I f she loves you she will listen and at least try to understand and hey she may just suprise you! good luck

[Ritu]

Okay from a GG ......... borrowing your wifes things is a very big NO NO ...........

can you give us some more information, how long have you been married, do you have kids, any more info helps us with giving you some advice

married for 3years, no kids as yet

[Joanne f]

Hi Ritu,
nice to see you here, and you are how you are, so do not be unsatisfied with how you look .

[trisha59]

Ritu
The best advice that you will receive from this forum will be This: #1 Tell your Wife #2 Get your own clothes. #1 may seem like an impossible thing to do but there is no good way that this will end because no matter how careful you are you will get caught. #2 is a must because, at some point you will ruin something of hers. Besides its kinda creepy wearing someone else's clothes without them knowing. As for the looks, hair and such thats all basic crossdresser knowledge that we will be more than happy to share with you. anyway thats my:2c:

[AllieSF]

Hi Ritu. Welcome to the forum. After you get 10 posts you will be able to private message (PM) other members and get access to other parts of the forum. The advice already given about telling your wife is good and in the end the best way to go, if you can manage it. In the meantime, if you are going to dress with out her knowing it, then you need a Plan A and a Plan B. Plan A is for how to make it work and Plan B is for what you are going to do when Plan A fails, or you get found out.

Plan A could include finding a local TG group to see if there is someplace that has private lockers to store your things and a place to change and maybe even meet other CD's for help, advice and friendship. If you live in a house, you may be able to find a place to hide things and only use them when conditions permit. If you live in an apartment, then hiding places can be very limited or non-existent. You maybe be able to become friends with a good hearted lady who can keep your things for you. It also permits you to network among others.

Plan B should include excuses and alibis that will help cover your tracks if you are not out with your wife. It should also include what you plan to do if she does not know and then finds out. Are you willing to lose a marriage, start therapy (actually this is always a good starting point), get outed by her to others (family, friends and maybe even work), or stop completely, which as you read more here is very difficult to impossible to do completely?

I strongly recommend that you do some searches here of past threads on this and similar topics. There is some very good and useful information here that will help you through this whole process, especially on how to tell your wife. Good luck and good dressing.

[Kate Simmons]

I understand your plight Ritu. Been there, done that. As far as being a "normal" man though, I don't think any of us are that (whatever that is).:)

[Sheila]

hun, how tolerant is your wife of alternate lifestyles, and have you ever tried to broach this subject with her ?

[JulieC]

married for 3years, no kids as yet

The best scenario is not yet engaged. Second best, engaged. Third best, married but with no kids yet. The worst (by far) is married with kids.

The reality of this is that it is highly likely that at some point in your marriage your wife is going to discover you crossdress. A wife discovering, by accident, that you dress is the worst of all possible outcomes. You simply do NOT want this to happen. It's lying, it's hiding, it's deceptive, and all sorts of other bad things. It is very, very, very hard to recover from that.

Only you can evaluate your situation. However, before you make the decision to have kids, PLEASE tell your wife about your crossdressing desires. Don't do it by suddenly appearing in women's clothes in front of her.

Also very, very, very important: One of the cardinal rules in crossdressing - do NOT wear your wife's clothes without her permission!!!!!!!!!!! Guaranteed to blow up in your face.

As to not being able to shave because you're a working professional; <cough> Lots of us here are working professionals, and lots of us here shave at least our legs if not more. Being in a professional job doesn't require you to remain hairy. I've worn pantyhose to work every day for a month straight, and no one ever could tell as it was always under pants and socks. Nobody's going to know you're legs are hairless unless you show them.

Stick with us. We'll help you through as best we can.

[Karren H]

I understand your plight Ritu. Been there, done that. As far as being a "normal" man though, I don't think any of us are that (whatever that is).:)

Abby Normal would be a fitting new name, Arianna? Lol.

Well aside from the obvious cultural differences between India and the US or UK or Oz... A lot are in your same situation and it sucks... But tthen again thers a lot that are lucky enough to be able to balance both lives...... Best of both genders!!!

[sarahNZ]

Hi Ritu

I can see two problems that you have there and I hope that you can find an answer to your problems in this forum somewhere, but this is my atempt to solve them for you...

Problem 1
No wardrobe:

I would not usually advise that you keep things from your wife, but if you must then you can find some place that your wife will not look, garage, gun safe or boot of your car etc. The first thing you need to do is go get you some means for a shapely chest, yes I am talking about buying that bra that has been on the top of your wish list for a while now. Spend some of that hard earned money girl! just don't spend too much.

Problem 2
Body hair

There was a thread a few days back about the metrosexual excuse, have a read you may find some inspiration there. As for the excuse that "I have a full male existance", so do I my friend but I still have shaved legs! I have only had one person ask about my legs when I was wearing shorts, the reason I gave was "because I can!" end of discussion. you can get rid of the chest hair using the excuse that it is to warm and I am sweating too much. There is always a way! And do not worry that people will talk because honestly who is going to see it apart from your wife? you never know she may like the look!

[Ritu]

Thank you all. you have done a great deal to boost my confidence and given some brilliant advice. appreciate everything.

Guess what?? am getting chance to dress up tonight. am excited! and bot a bra, panty, and a dress for myself (skirt).

hope to send u guys some first pcs by tomorrow!!!

but a little sad that i will also have to dispose off all these by tomorrow as havent yet found place to hide :(

Ritu

[victoriamwilliams1]

Okay from a GG ......... borrowing your wifes things is a very big NO NO ...........

can you give us some more information, how long have you been married, do you have kids, any more info helps us with giving you some advice


I agree 100000% I borrowed a few times. I did borrow last week and I did not feel comfortable at all in the dress. I wanted my own clothes on so I headed for home and changed.


Thank you all. you have done a great deal to boost my confidence and given some brilliant advice. appreciate everything.

Guess what?? am getting chance to dress up tonight. am excited! and bot a bra, panty, and a dress for myself (skirt).

hope to send u guys some first pcs by tomorrow!!!

but a little sad that i will also have to dispose off all these by tomorrow as havent yet found place to hide :(

Ritu


Congratulations and enjoy.:hugs:

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Ritu - I am a professional person in a small town - it would not be accepted here at all - my Spouse knows that I crossdress (she alternates between acceptance and outright can't stand it)

I do have my own closet for JoAnne

She has given me the ultimatum of no shaving of body hair

I feel for you

JoAnne Wheeler