Loosing allot

[susancheerleader]

I noticed a very despairing after effect of my dressing. I started dressing only a couple years ago. May 2005.
Prior to that, I had a good relationship with my neighbors. We spoke to each other, we hung out from time to time, ect. Although I never told them of my dressing, I am 100% sure they know because of me being caught outside. They never said anything about it. However, I know something is going on. Now they just politely wave as I drive by, never stop by, and we don’t get together like we used to. Are they afraid of me now? Do they think I’m gay or at least someone they don’t want around?
Unfortunately, the same falls for other friends I’ve had. Only in this case it is my own fault. I’ve distanced myself from a lot of people since I started to dress. Now I don't have but a couple of friends (and no, they don't know either.) My guess is because I am afraid they will find out some how. In a way, I love dressing. But I am also embarrassed if I get caught. And I know this is the choice society sees. And I can get into the “if girls can wear men’s jeans, why can’t a man wear a skirt” thing” but most of us know that most of society will not accept this.
Now, because of my dressing I have become very seclusive and keep to myself. But on the other hand, I love to dress as it really is very comfortable and seems to greatly help me with relieving stress.
Why can’t I just enjoy having a life with my friends AND dress too?

[gennee]

I started dressing about the same time. I have been out in public quite a bit and no one seems to care. My wife and son knows that I dress. I think you're friends may think you're weird but you are being yousrself. I thought I was weird but soon realized that dressing is a part of my life.

Maybe some of your friends may ask you why you dress. It's a good time to educate them.

Gennee

:)

[Tashee]

1st You live in Maine---They do not even like other people...from neighbouring states who fuel their economy.....Kidding kinda

I had this happen---Its NOT the End of the World---Its a chance to show them that you are you and are not a sick one---If--((IF)) they saw you..

If so do not cut yourself off from the world--DO NOT be paranoid-----This is your chance to be you a good person---And show your town folk you are the same guy--girl--guy--you always have been----When it happened to me I thought it was the end----Hell--I was a cop--Duh on me--

I know I am not being clear---I am soo trying----Just be you----And reach back out when YOU feel comfortable------That is what I did---And it all came back---the friendship----But I NEVER let them catch me again-----I saved that embarrassment for other people to enjoy:eek:

with luv
t

[KateSpade83]

Hey Susan - crossdressing is deep doodoo bad luck on your social life. Mine was almost ruined because of it. Bad luck and karma follows you around. So I had to quit it myself. So now, Katespade83 - no more pics of me, just a memory here. Yeah, I've become an Ex - Crossdresser! You can pm me if you wanna talk more...

[Beth785]

We had our neighbors on one side pass away a few years ago and the new ones (second set now) are pretty reclusive. The neighbors to the other side, the husband passed away and the widow moved away. The new neighbors are a very friendly retired couple (the wife is not very mobile). Regardless of what I'm wearing, he always gives a big smile and a wave.

[MissConstrued]

Why can’t I just enjoy having a life with my friends AND dress too?


The only thing stopping you is... you. Facing up to it may cost you a friend or two, or it may not. When you cower in fear of what others think, you're living in a prison of your own making. But, lucky you, your parole date is your own decision.

[Hope]

I think Tashee has the right idea.

If the cat is already out of the bag, and your neighbors / friends know you crossdress... then it is time to be a good will ambassador and make sure they know that you (like most crossdressers) are a good person - not the child molesting freak Fox News has taught them to think of you as.

This is an opportunity for you to enlarge your circle of friends, and to improve life for the CD community at the same time.

The WORST thing you could do, is to become that weird reclusive guy who wears girl's clothes and only comes out at night to get the mail and drag road kill into his house.

[Kelsy]

Hey Susan - crossdressing is deep doodoo bad luck on your social life. Mine was almost ruined because of it. Bad luck and karma follows you around. So I had to quit it myself. So now, Katespade83 - no more pics of me, just a memory here. Yeah, I've become an Ex - Crossdresser! You can pm me if you wanna talk more...

how does one become an ex crossdresser???????:straightface:

Kelsy

[Sheila]

I’ve distanced myself from a lot of people since I started to dress. . In a way, I love dressing. But I am also embarrassed if I get caught. And I know this is the choice society sees.

And I can get into the “if girls can wear men’s jeans, why can’t a man wear a skirt” thing” but most of us know that most of society will not accept this.

Why can’t I just enjoy having a life with my friends AND dress too?
and I repeat yet again you/we are aprt of that society and if you are not prepared to wear with confidence what you want to you risk /encourage others to see it as some sort of thing that needs to be hidden ......... wear your clothes with confidence and then see how people react .. it's amazing ...... many peeps don't actuallly give a damn what u wear .... heck most don't even notice they are to busy with their own lives to really care what you are doing in yours. so you can enjoy having a life with friends & wear what you want


Originally Posted by Molly Wells ..............
if my wife puts on a pair of pants, mine or hers, she does not attempt to look and act like a man. She does not attempt to have a "bulge" or bind her breasts. She does not cut her hair or hide it make it look more masculine. She does not wear artificial facial hair. She is not crossdressing if she wears pants. She is merely wearing pants. Why? I guess because she likes them, for comfort, style, for practical purpose or one of many other reasons. But no, she is not crossdressing!

Molly explains it very well there ..... we as GG are not attempting to present as men, please can we let go of the idea that because we wear slacks we are crossdressing :Angry3::Angry3:

[Rogina B]

As a new englander and former mid coast resident,now living in n.e. florida,i can sure see the mess you got yourself into!!!i am sure that your friends and neighbors have decided you to be an odd duck ...and best to keep clear of odd ducks as they may catch something!!! like having to accept that a friend thinks differently. remember that many people are content to paint with a big brush and move quickly their way.they decided you are different and they don't want different friends,simple as that! pay no attention to them,wave back and eventually they will need you for something and will come back around in their own way.won't be as close as before and that is better for everyone.

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

Although I never told them of my dressing, I am 100% sure they know because of me being caught outside.
About a year ago, I completely convinced myself that my neighbours had seen me and knew. I invited one of my neighbours as a friend on yahoo 360. She was genuinely shocked. She had absolutely no idea.

She rejected my friend request for reasons that she explained and I understood and accepted. Over the space of about 2 months, things went completely back to how they were before, except that they don't tend to be in their back yard on Tuesday evenings when I go out. LOL.

It is possible that it is not that your neighbours know and are distancing themselves from you but that your belief that they know has changed how you behave towards them. They may think that you've been distancing yourself from them.

Alice

[Jess_cd32]

........Why can’t I just enjoy having a life with my friends AND dress too?

You can at least here.
Thats whats so great about this site, you realize your not alone, and that your desires are 100% normal, but just very misunderstood by society.
Society has a lot of catching up to do with understanding us, untill then unfortunatly this is how many of us will be treated and looked upon.

MC has a valid point, you can release yourself from this prison and start living how you choose, not how 'they' want you to live and behave.
I'm just about at that point myself, like any of them have no skeletons in their closets right?

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Lets face it - the general population things that we are gay; sick; weird; emotionally disturbed; and not the kind of people that they should be around

That is the price we pay - it is unfair - but what can we do

JoAnne Wheeler

[MJ]

do what you use to do before you got read. and do so with pride go chat with your Friends and neighbors

it's only your fear that is making you feel this way .. don't become a prisoner of your own making

Why can’t I just enjoy having a life with my friends AND dress too?
sure you can it's up to you to educate them all the best sis

[Sheila]

Lets face it - the general population things that we are gay; sick; weird; emotionally disturbed; and not the kind of people that they should be around

That is the price we pay - it is unfair - but what can we do

JoAnne Wheeler

JoAnne I am sorry, we are all part of the general population u are referring to, and if you are singling out non cdr's then i was/am one of those people and i am not happy about being referred to as someone who thinks, cdr's are as you say gay; sick; weird; emotionally disturbed; and not the kind of people that they should be around .............. i have never subscribed to those opinions, nor have I brought my kids up to have anything but an open mind on most things in life. :Angry3:



That is the price we pay - it is unfair - but what can we do
JoAnne Wheeler

Educate the people around you would be a start .... since being a member of the community I have been at least instamental in informing a dozen or so peeps on cding . it would have been more except for the fact that my ex was not keen on the idea

[MissConstrued]

Lets face it - the general population things that we are gay; sick; weird; emotionally disturbed; and not the kind of people that they should be around


Is that what they think? I have no idea what they think. Maybe it's because I don't give a sh&t.

How about this little exercise? Walk down a busy street sometime, and ask yourself how many people you walk by care what you think! You should quickly realize that your concern for the feelings of the "general population" has been misplaced all these years.

[carolinoakland]

pretty much, I realized after I went full time did I realize how much of life I'd hidden myself from, I never socialized with anyone out of fear that if i let anyone to close they'd figure out my secret. Except it's not a secret anymore. and now that I have nothing to be afraid of i really see how isolated i made myself out of fear. I would hope to save you that loneliness and encourage you to not care what anyone would think about what makes YOU happy. The hell with the rest. Carol

[RylieCD]

Why can’t I just enjoy having a life with my friends AND dress too?

I too find myself choosing either friends or dressing. I would consider myself to be an introvert as is is so to call some one and go out was never a strong suit. but also through in the opprotunity to dress as I feel and know that my friends may not be accepting posses even more challenges. It would be nice to "have your cake and eat it too" but we can do what we can to make progress, and maybe one day there will not be a choice.

[paulaN]

I'll be your friend and I'll let you dress the way you want around me. In fact lets get all dressed up and go shopping. Make some new friends that do the same things as you. Don't stop gurlin

[KateSpade83]

how does one become an ex crossdresser???????:straightface:

Kelsy

Hey Kelsey, I've been an Ex Crossdresser for 3 weeks (?) now... Didn't purge a thing, because I think between me and God the clothes are an immaterial issue now. Before, my last 4 to 5 quit attempts - a painful purge of all my clothes with no money back from selling them! I think this time God let it pass because I begged him for forgiveness and that I spent like $15,000 (?) in clothes and that's too ULTRAPAINFUL to just donate to Goodwill! - I wanna sell the ugly stuff and get money back from it and donate 20% to 25% to a Roman Catholic Church or cause. Besides, did you know that because of overhead, donations to Goodwill or Salvation Army, - about 25% or less of the proceeds goes to helping the poor or etc...? So selling your clothes and giving 20% to a good cause might be good. But my great clothes will go to a pretty size 4 to 6 woman my size! That's what I pleaded to God! Just have to resist putting the clothes on because that might be ULTRABAD KARMA!

[Tashee]

Hey Kelsey, I've been an Ex Crossdresser for 3 weeks (?) now... Didn't purge a thing, because I think between me and God the clothes are an immaterial issue now. Before, my last 4 to 5 quit attempts - a painful purge of all my clothes with no money back from selling them! I think this time God let it pass because I begged him for forgiveness and that I spent like $15,000 (?) in clothes and that's too ULTRAPAINFUL to just donate to Goodwill! - I wanna sell the ugly stuff and get money back from it and donate 20% to 25% to a Roman Catholic Church or cause. Besides, did you know that because of overhead, donations to Goodwill or Salvation Army, - about 25% or less of the proceeds goes to helping the poor or etc...? So selling your clothes and giving 20% to a good cause might be good. But my great clothes will go to a pretty size 4 to 6 woman my size! That's what I pleaded to God! Just have to resist putting the clothes on because that might be ULTRABAD KARMA!

OH I was trying to figure out what in the world has been happening to me----Thanxxx

[docrobbysherry]

Why can’t I just enjoy having a life with my friends AND dress too?

[/ Are they afraid of me now? Do they think I’m gay or at least someone they don’t want around?

Anyway, that's the way it looks to me!:brolleyes:

[kristinacd55]

Is that what they think? I have no idea what they think. Maybe it's because I don't give a sh&t.

How about this little exercise? Walk down a busy street sometime, and ask yourself how many people you walk by care what you think! You should quickly realize that your concern for the feelings of the "general population" has been misplaced all these years.

Most people are too wrapped up in their own little world's to even notice what's going on around them!

[susancheerleader]

WOW!!!! So very enlighten responses to my thread! Thank you so much!

I've been feeling very down and lonely. And what I posted about why I feel this way is very much how I feel. I've gone into hiding.......

I agree with

do what you use to do before you got read. and do so with pride go chat with your Friends and neighbors

it's only your fear that is making you feel this way .. don't become a prisoner of your own making




I probably made my own prisson.
And I am going to reach out with my neighbors better... like before.

[Marlena_Sparkles]

Hey Susan - crossdressing is deep doodoo bad luck on your social life. Mine was almost ruined because of it. Bad luck and karma follows you around. So I had to quit it myself. So now, Katespade83 - no more pics of me, just a memory here. Yeah, I've become an Ex - Crossdresser! You can pm me if you wanna talk more...Hmmm...it can be...doesn't have to be though. I was imprisoned for many,many years. Always trying to hide it from neighbors & friends and lying to co-workers & friends. About a year ago I had enough. I went out and told everybody. My mom,friends,co-workers & even my boss. I never lost anyone. Granted a few friends don't want to see me that way or don't ever want to talk about it. Which is fine. Had I lost a few friends,I believe they weren't friends to begin with. A true friend will stick by you no matter what. Right? Everyone says I am a much better person.:) They say I am much nicer,relaxed,caring,friendlier and alot easier to work with. For me this is the best thing I ever did. I sadly admit,for others it may not be!

[sarahNZ]

this sounds like a good chance to get back out there and show your neighbours that we are notjust a bunch of freaks. I would sugest that you hit him up next time you see him and just say that you feel that you are loosing the friendship of a person that didn't give a damn before he found out, and maybe the neighbours should come over for a barbeque and a beer next weekend. remind them that you used to be good friends. bring up old past time storys that you can all laugh at.