Your advice please, reconnecting with sister.

[KandisTX]

I have recently reconnected with my 'sister' whom I have not spoken to in almost 24 years. She was the sister whose clothing got me started in my world of CDing. I do not know if she knows this, nor do I know what her thoughts are about alternative lifestyles.

I am trying to rekindle a relationship with her, but am not sure if bringing up the idea that I used to take her clothing would be the best idea this early. No, I'm not wanting to blurt out that I used to do this, but I do want her to understand that one of the issues so many years ago that resulted in my moving back to live with my real father and step-mother was my CDing and the negative reaction I received from her parents (my adoptive parents).

Thanks ladies,

Kandis:love::rose2:

P.S. I am ecstatic about reconnecting with her as I have been searching for her for 20+ years and finally found her thanks to facebook.

[beenherelongtime]

i wouldn't push the c/d issue on her, you have a lot of catching up to do about other things. after you have developed a rapport with her, if she know anything about why you left her house so many years ago, then you could broach the subject.

[Sheila]

Kandis I would leave the confession of where the clothes came from in the beginning, if you choose to tell her about your cding okay but unless she specifically asks I would let sleeping dogs lie on this one.

I wish you all the best in your reconnection with your sister ... I recently reconnected with mine after a 15 year hiatus because of her husband, and it is amzing and wonderful I wish the same for you and your sister :hugs:

[sarahNZ]

When I told my sister I said I have to tell you something and I don't know how you will take it but please listen before you hang up. She did not hang up and we are closer now that we live in diferent ends of the country than when we were in the same house. P.S I left out the bit that I used her clothing.

[Sammy777]

I'm gonna have to guess & go on assumption with a few things.

Is she younger or older? And by how much? If you don't mind.

If her parents knew about your CD'ing & disapproved of it there is a chance it might have been discussed at some point after you left.

When you left, did you give her a reason at the time?
Was it a quiet "I'm moving" thing or a "I'm outta here" blowout?

I agree with the others, coming out to her is all fine & great.
BUT - I wouldn't mention wearing her clothes unless she outright asks.
AND - even if she does ask, I would leave out the wearing of any undergarments unless she specifically calls you out on it.

Neither of you are kids anymore but I would still reinforce the fact that your leaving had nothing to do with her.

I would also steer clear of bashing/blaming her parents for your leaving & simply leave it at they just didn't understand & you felt uncomfortable, or something like that.

It is a good idea to catch up with each other first, but you know that isn't going to work because things like this always start from the beginning.

I would say that if possible I would save the CD'ing for when you are face to face if that is possible. If not at least over the phone, it is easier to judge someones reaction from their voice then by words on a screen [email/txt/ect.]

I hope at least something I said can be of some help to you.
Keep us informed & I hope it all works out for the best for you & her.

[KandisTX]

1. she's younger than me (2 months younger)
2. it was relatively 'quiet' when I left
3. I am quite grateful for her parents so there is going to be no venom from me on that regard.

Thaks y'all ;)

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Di]

Just make it about you two and leave all the cding stuff out..you haven't seen her for so many years don't make it about you.
If you get close again and share everything...then ok but for now just think of your rekindling your relationship.:hugs:

[Stephanie Stephens]

Kandis; If there is not some burning desire to tell her then why do it at this time. There are other things to talk about and in time you will know when the time is right.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I agree - don't bring up the crossdressing at all until you have established a really deep relationship
JoAnne Wheeler

[KandisTX]

The odd thing is I had my suspicions as to what my sisters here would say about my reconnecting with my GG 'sister' after so many years. I guess I was just wanting confirmation of my own thoughts on the matter ;) Thanks gurls.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Sally2005]

Sometimes a hobby or CDing can consume your thoughts. Cding is just one part of you, like your arms, legs, jacket and you don't obsess over those things usually. I would focus on her (like a first date) and see how the relationship grows before telling her the details (unless she asks).

[kathrynjanos]

I have recently reconnected with my 'sister' whom I have not spoken to in almost 24 years. She was the sister whose clothing got me started in my world of CDing. I do not know if she knows this, nor do I know what her thoughts are about alternative lifestyles.

I am trying to rekindle a relationship with her, but am not sure if bringing up the idea that I used to take her clothing would be the best idea this early. No, I'm not wanting to blurt out that I used to do this, but I do want her to understand that one of the issues so many years ago that resulted in my moving back to live with my real father and step-mother was my CDing and the negative reaction I received from her parents (my adoptive parents).

Thanks ladies,

Kandis:love::rose2:

P.S. I am ecstatic about reconnecting with her as I have been searching for her for 20+ years and finally found her thanks to facebook.

NO, BAD IDEA! Do NOT tell her for at least six months, in my opinion, and that's only if you have a very good relationship at that point, and if you feel that she'd be accepting of alternative lifestyles, and then if she'd be accepting of YOU living these lifestyles. Even then, I don't know if you should really reveal that you used her stuff. It would feel like a very serious invasion of her privacy if you ask me.

I'd say some things are just better left in the past. If, for some reason, the subject does come up, start simple, say with makeup and shoes. If she's OK with that, then I leave it up to you, but really, I think that's a one way ticket.

[Sammy777]

OK, so I guess the big question is.......................

Are you going to tell her now or wait till a later time?

[KandisTX]

OK, so I guess the big question is.......................

Are you going to tell her now or wait till a later time?

I think I'm going to wait and see how the relationship develops and go from there.

Kandis:love::rose2: