What if you couldn't 'get it up' any more?

[helenr]

I have been on a combination of spiro and estrogen patch for about 2 years. I haven't developed big breasts,etc nor do I care.I am most happy to be relieved of the stress of sexual thoughts,etc.
I have noticed, not surprisingly, that the ability to get aroused is harder and harder, if I even care to try. The latter part is key--one loses the desire to get worked up. If you do, it probably will be akin to a dry orgasm.
It has occurred to me at some point it won't be possible even with a vibrator. Will that be OK or not? This is a very hard question to know the answer and I would caution younger members to think hard on this. At age 62 it isn't that I have decades of potential sex ahead of me.But if I were 1/2 this age, I might not want to be celibate forever. Please think hard about this likelihood. helen

[Sharon]

What did you expect from Estrogen? Gads, I never understood how people could take serious drugs and not know what they will do to them. Why are you even taking estrogen? Don't you think it's a bit unrealistic to want to be female and male? Did you even think to ask a doctor what the effects of hormones would do to you? Have you ever even discussed any of this with a qualified doctor?

I bet I just asked you more questions than you have ever asked yourself about this and I apologize if you think I'm being cruel to you. It just amazes me off that people don't care enough about themselves to even click on that handy-dandy Google site before making a life altering decision.

[Tizabet]

I don't know that I'd put it so... bluntly. But Sharon has a point. I admit, I was naughty and started out unsupervised (I have a proper endo and prescription now, don't worry), but I did SO much research first. I know how the drugs work, why they work, how they can interact with a variety of other medications or even foods, as well as the stories of many individuals and their reactions over time. It is amazing how many people go into this without a full understanding, and I can certainly understand the strong desire to just do what feels right NOW, and worry about consequences later, but the consequences in this case are HUGE. So far, I haven't had any issues getting an erection when I want to. There's just nothing going on "without my permission" anymore. But yes, I'm also well aware that it's likely to become more difficult over time, and I'm fine with that. I don't even want to have a penis, so why would that worry me? If anything, that help to reinforce the idea that it doesn't need to be there. Y'know?

[MJ]

Sharon is right. i assume you did your research in fact my doctor had a good talk to be about the effects to make sure this is what i wanted. 4 years later i have no regrets.

[gagirl1]

I would caution younger members to think hard on this. At age 62 it isn't that I have decades of potential sex ahead of me.But if I were 1/2 this age, I might not want to be celibate forever. Please think hard about this likelihood. helen

from a younger perspective:

i can understand how it would be unnerving, but honestly, sex as a man disgusts me. i stopped being able to get it up months ago during intercourse simply because i had no interest in being the guy. and i'm not even on hormones yet. i don't see it as losing the ability to get an erection (which annoy the hell out of me), but as one step closer to being completely female. i won't have to worry about little buddy getting in the way anymore. i do have friends that struggle reaching orgasm after a few months of hrt, but on the other hand i know some who have no problem. if you want to maintain orgasmic ability before while on hrt, and pre-srs, there's a simple saying that i think might apply to some: if you don't use it, you lose it. it's up to you what to do with your genitals, but not getting erections IS something that happens because of hrt.

[Lisa Golightly]

Best day of my life so far when 'it' died...

[kristyk]

The doctors told me right up front all the bad things and side effects before I started if your doctor did not go over the risks before you started HRT I would switch doctors and therapists and pyscholgists.

If you haven't started HRT and your doctor what the risks are and now you have second thoughts. Thats ok but you need to think hard if this life is for you there is a lot to risk if you really are unsure

I agree with Sharon 100% though

KristyK

[~Kelly~]

from a younger perspective:

i can understand how it would be unnerving, but honestly, sex as a man disgusts me. ......... not getting erections IS something that happens because of hrt.

I honestly could not have said it better myself. :thumbsup:

[Karen564]

IDK, Speaking for myself, Why would I want to get mine up, when I never wanted the stupid thing in the 1st place, I can't wait for it to be gone forever.
I'm glad mine died a long time ago..

Karen

[Sharon]

I don't know that I'd put it so... bluntly. But Sharon has a point.

I was blunt. I was also more than a little bit nasty in the way in which I chose to reply. For that I apologize to Helen. I could have done so much better.

However, I come to this site daily and read posts by young or naive members who only want to take hormones so they could have breasts, or to calm themselves from whatever it is that they feel testosterone does to them emotionally. And no matter how many times other members try to caution or educate them, it has no effect. It gets frustrating, you know?

We strive to be a forum that is a source of good information, as well as just being a community of fellow TGs where we can share stories or share support for one another. But thread after thread gets posted by people just looking for the easy way to accomplish their short-sighted goals, without them ever seriously considering the side-effects or consequences.

You want breasts while still remaining male in every other way? Have implants and don't pollute your body with unnecessary drugs. Do you want to lose aggressiveness? Go to a doctor and get a prescription for a drug specifically made for that.

I normally ignore these threads because I know what I would have to say only falls on deaf ears. But I have my limitations and now and then I just need to let it out.

And as I finish this post, I realize that it too will be ignored by those looking for shortcuts.

[jillleanne]

Sharon, you cannot educate the world by yourself so get used to it girl. You cannot get a room full of people to agree. But each time you do say something, regardless of what it is, rest assured someone is listening, and if what you say carries any validity, someone sooner or later will heed what your words.
I for one am totally against the term "crossdresser". Just another catch word to confused the confused. Someday, God willing, all gender enhanced people will be called, well, gender enhanced or transgender, or better yet, people.
Not trying to hijack this thread, so in response to the actual thread, the 'statement of getting it up' should come as pretty common knowledge when it comes to body altering drugs. Hell, did I really do 12 hits of Purple Microdot one day at Woodstock and not expect to have some sort of physical reaction? That was the point of it as I recall, which, in fact, I don't.

[gagirl1]

don't worry, Sharon, you made your point loud and clear. won't be ignored. however, a new thread about this topic will most likely be started in a few weeks (if that far off). just the way this forum is. i know it can be frustrating, especially when the same questions get asked over and over again, when the info is already here. can't sweat the small stuff, and don't pet the sweaty things.

[~Kelly~]

........ and don't pet the sweaty things.

But my puppy is just so CUUUUUTEEEE after he has been working out! :p

Just kidding LOL I don't even have a dog.

I do understand where you are coming from though Sharon. Your point has been made. And even though it is frustrating, I would encourage you to CONTINUE making your point every time it comes up. Yes there are lots of people who will refuse to listen but occasionally someone will. It is these that you are doing it for. I know I have only been around a very short time on this board but I will be right here with you attempting to make sure people stay both informed and safe.

[Priss]

I think it varies from person to person. Personall speaking, I was on hi doses of injectable estrodiol, with spiro for ten years before I had SRS. While I didn't have the same drive and was never troubled with an inappropriate woodie, I never really had a problem just tossing one off. Ok, so maybe they were dry, or very low fluid level...

Speaking of which, maybe it's true and maybe it's not, but I've always heard that for after SRS, it was important to keep up practice before. Something about if you were orgasmic before, you'd likely be afterward... All I know is that I practiced up till the surgery, and had my first O at about the 3 month point afterward.

Of course as I believe it does very from person to person, YMMV...

[LaurenS.]

I think Helen's post is being mistaken. I believe Helen is just commenting on what has happened or is happening to her and is trying to alert younger girls to be aware of the consequences of their actions. I agree with some of you that if I want SRS, why would I care about getting it up anymore? I don't and look forward to the day that it's gone!:daydreaming:
Lauren

[sissystephanie]

Guess maybe I just don't understand some people's thinking. If you want breasts, there are herbal things you can take that do work. See my avatar, that is all me! According to both my Internist and my Cardiologist, real HRT can cause either, or both, cancer and heart problems. Who wants to take that risk?

As my tag line says; Lady on the outside, but man underneath. I am 76 and can still get it up. It is in my jeans (pun intended), my dad was in his 60's when I was born! I am happy to be a man, even though I like to dress as a lady!!

[helenr]

My goodness, I did hit some hot buttons. I admire Sharon and her many postings. She is very knowledgeable. Yes, I surely understood the effects that likely would occur with a combination of anti androgens and estrogen. I know that I have a far healthier prostate--my PSA is virtually zero and I won't be like so many males-if I live to my 70's--with the all too common prostate cancer or other prostate complications. In fact, an entire book about Castration was written--Victor Cheney was the author I think. an interesting read.
I am fine with the effects. But I am also glad that when I was younger I was a father and nothing can replace that wonderful, proud experience. I could never be a mother, clearly, so this was what my option was.
I think what I was trying to point out-again to the younger participants-is that loss of sexual release is not to be taken lightly. Clearly it can be redefined into something other than a male doing it conventionally to a female--and I can relate that for years before I became celebrate I didn't like to think about my proscribed role-I wanted to be the recipient, wanted to be below,etc.
I am more pleased with the results-calmer, less stressed out, sleep better,etc- that I view as favorable than before when fetish and sex preoccupied my mind, but there is always a certain loss, no more 'thrill' ,and I am sure others can relate to it. helenr

[tori-e]

I was blunt. I was also more than a little bit nasty in the way in which I chose to reply. For that I apologize to Helen. I could have done so much better.

However, I come to this site daily and read posts by young or naive members who only want to take hormones so they could have breasts, or to calm themselves from whatever it is that they feel testosterone does to them emotionally. And no matter how many times other members try to caution or educate them, it has no effect. It gets frustrating, you know?

We strive to be a forum that is a source of good information, as well as just being a community of fellow TGs where we can share stories or share support for one another. But thread after thread gets posted by people just looking for the easy way to accomplish their short-sighted goals, without them ever seriously considering the side-effects or consequences.

You want breasts while still remaining male in every other way? Have implants and don't pollute your body with unnecessary drugs. Do you want to lose aggressiveness? Go to a doctor and get a prescription for a drug specifically made for that.

I normally ignore these threads because I know what I would have to say only falls on deaf ears. But I have my limitations and now and then I just need to let it out.

And as I finish this post, I realize that it too will be ignored by those looking for shortcuts.

Right on Sharon!!! :thumbsup:

Terri

[Linda Z]

My goodness, I did hit some hot buttons. I admire Sharon and her many postings. She is very knowledgeable. Yes, I surely understood the effects that likely would occur with a combination of anti androgens and estrogen. I know that I have a far healthier prostate--my PSA is virtually zero and I won't be like so many males-if I live to my 70's--with the all too common prostate cancer or other prostate complications. In fact, an entire book about Castration was written--Victor Cheney was the author I think. an interesting read.
I am fine with the effects. But I am also glad that when I was younger I was a father and nothing can replace that wonderful, proud experience. I could never be a mother, clearly, so this was what my option was.
I think what I was trying to point out-again to the younger participants-is that loss of sexual release is not to be taken lightly. Clearly it can be redefined into something other than a male doing it conventionally to a female--and I can relate that for years before I became celebrate I didn't like to think about my proscribed role-I wanted to be the recipient, wanted to be below,etc.
I am more pleased with the results-calmer, less stressed out, sleep better,etc- that I view as favorable than before when fetish and sex preoccupied my mind, but there is always a certain loss, no more 'thrill' ,and I am sure others can relate to it. helenr

Good responce Helen!
LindaZ

[Linda Z]

I think Helen's post is being mistaken. I believe Helen is just commenting on what has happened or is happening to her and is trying to alert younger girls to be aware of the consequences of their actions. I agree with some of you that if I want SRS, why would I care about getting it up anymore? I don't and look forward to the day that it's gone!:daydreaming:
Lauren

I agree with your point of view, Lauren.

there is a wide range of views on this board, not every one is going to the same place.
Some people are just seeking balance and to want to say in the place they are. I understand that.:2c:
Linda Z

[tgirlinva]

I don't know where you hear that it's not possible to get an erection when you're on HRT. That is completely not true. I know plenty of TS who still can after years on HRT. Everyone has a tolerance level that needs to be found. You need to experience and find that right balance so that you don't lose your erection when you want it. It wouldn't matter if you aren't sexual and don't want to be, but for those of you who do, it's still possible. Just check with your doctor so you can find that right dosage.

[tori-e]

I don't know where you hear that it's not possible to get an erection when you're on HRT. That is completely not true. I know plenty of TS who still can after years on HRT.

Agreed. Prior to GRS, I was on high doses of spriro, estrace and prometrium and still able to function as a male. Just not as well as before HRT

Terri

[Melissa A.]

I thought about and reseached it thoroughly. If I wanted those urges, I wouldn't be doing this. Life is 10 times better without those ugly male feelings of horniness. Ick. RIP, dying thingy. And don't ever wake up, until you're a vagina. (keeping fingers crossed)

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[docrobbysherry]

Maybe if u don't have erections, you're NOT interested in sex anyway?

There were a couple of years after I separated from my ex. I had zero interest in sex, and zero erections. Thot I was finished with women AND sex, because of my age. But, the desire for sex AND to be with a woman both came back!

Thinking back to my sexless time, I didn't want it, so I didn't miss it! Is that what it's like for many of u out there!?

[helenr]

such thoughtful and interesting posts. I have heard that for some, estrogen can actually be a sexual stimulant -perhaps making one more horny that would be the case on anti androgens alone. Yes, getting an erection relates to circulation, I also read. but the desire and effort required surely drops off big time on meds. not all bad, but has to be reckoned with. This all may get into definitions of intimacy, but that might be a new post.

[Alana65]

What if you couldn't 'get it up' anymore ?

I sure wouldn't miss waking up in the morning with the occasional "woody". I hate those........can't sit down to pee :doh::Angry3:

[Lisa Golightly]

Maybe if u don't have erections, you're NOT interested in sex anyway?

Oh I'm very interested in sex... Hormones have just broadened my horizons :)

[Anna the Dub]

Despite years on hormones, and an orchidectomy to boot, I still get erections all the time, and wake up with one every day. I find it quite upsetting actually, I really don't want that thing doing anything at all. I try not to go near it if I can help it, but nevertheless, I still very occasionally have a wet dream, which almost reduces me to tears.

[Lisa Golightly]

*hugs Anna*

[Anna the Dub]

*hugs Anna*

Thank you, Sweetie x

[Kaitlyn Michele]

anna

a friend of mine had that problem after her orchi ...she found she was taking too much estrogen and one way that effects you is too change into testosterone.......at least thats what i was told

she said the issue went away when she reduced her estrogen

i am very happy with that every once in awhile feeling since i strted HRT

[Anna the Dub]

anna

a friend of mine had that problem after her orchi ...she found she was taking too much estrogen and one way that effects you is too change into testosterone.......at least thats what i was told

she said the issue went away when she reduced her estrogen

i am very happy with that every once in awhile feeling since i strted HRT

Don't think that is what is happening with me. When I last went to my endocrinologist, and had my blood tested, the results said that my oestrogen level was at an 'acceptable level to effect changes', and that my testosterone was 'negligible'. And yet I still get these erections.

[Jessinthesprings]

Despite years on hormones, and an orchidectomy to boot, I still get erections all the time, and wake up with one every day. I find it quite upsetting actually, I really don't want that thing doing anything at all. I try not to go near it if I can help it, but nevertheless, I still very occasionally have a wet dream, which almost reduces me to tears.

my wife would love that... I could care less.

[Raquel June]

I think people grossly overstate the effects of HRT on erections and grossly understate your mindset.

I know people who have been on HRT for many years and have no problem with sustaining an erection. They don't tend to get spontaneous ones, and they may not be quite as firm, but I know TS girls on 200+ mg/day Spiro who get erections.

OTOH, I know people who aren't even on HRT who get zero erections, even if they want to. A good friend of mine who is a 40-year-old crossdresser has that problem, although he doesn't think of it as a problem.

I've also heard things about your pituitary going crazy after HRT or after orchi and people actually having more erections. So the answer is "it depends."

Personally, I'm on a small dose of Spiro, a medium dose of estrogen, and a lot of progesterone. I don't get spontaneous ones in the morning, but I do watch a lot of porn, and things work OK.

The big thing, though, is that HRT will likely make you sterile after just a couple months, whether or not you can sustain an erection.

[stephgoth]

I did some research on the herbal hormones, specifically phytoestrogens in the form of soy isoflavones.

http://www.clinsci.org/cs/100/0613/cs1000613.htm

This is what is generally in breast enhancer or womens hormone health herbal supplements.

To summarize what they said, at a 500mg dosage (40 mg active ingredient) isoflavones have no negative effects whatsoever on the male reproductive system. At this dose the estrogen enhancing effect is fairly mild, but present, in males.

for your review...

Steph

EDIT: Clarified dosages

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i have 2 comments, and i think i might have mentioned this on another post...

and any post op ladies, i'd love to hear your view...

my doctor is a ts woman and she is very interested in this issue because she has had many patient complaints about lack of sexual feeling after surgery..i have personally met many women who have had the grs operation and they all say they have great sexual feeling...but most post op ladies have my doctor...

so its clearly not always the case, but its her #1 complaint...her feeling is use it or lose it and i try to self stimulate every day....i dont have much to work with anymore and nothing comes out, but it feels good...the funny thing is most days i forget!!!:heehee:

my doctor hopes this will serve me will when i finally reach the grs point...

i mean come on, its just a thing.....its gives pleasure...hehe
my doctor says we all lose hard ons but we get "hate ons" ..maybe this is personal but i never hated my gender or hated my thingie...i just never "cared" about it....i was ambivalent..

now sexually its a different story, one of the things that made me admit all this to myself was my strangeness in the bedroom...any time the sex got down to "you know what", i stopped having fun....kissing, hugging, playing around all was very arousing but when it got down to business i just didnt like ANYBODY touching me down there, it felt wrong to me, and i ended up looking at it like an obligation......i forever feel sad for my ex and others that could never understand why i was such a crappy lover...

i hope I'm a better lover when i get my real parts.

btw...i'm on 200mg of spiro, and .5? of finesteride and i have no problems getting erections, but i never get spontaneous erections anymore

and Anna, I'm sorry you cant figure out why you are getting those wet dreamsl, i totally understand....has your blood work come back with high levels of testosterone?

michele

[Lisa Golightly]

now sexually its a different story, one of the things that made me admit all this to myself was my strangeness in the bedroom...any time the sex got down to "you know what", i stopped having fun....kissing, hugging, playing around all was very arousing but when it got down to business i just didnt like ANYBODY touching me down there, it felt wrong to me, and i ended up looking at it like an obligation......i forever feel sad for my ex and others that could never understand why i was such a crappy lover...

I so relate to that... I used to feel physically ill.

[joanne2b]

Brilliant Melisa, could not have made my point any better, short and sweet, Sharon you said it all, excellent, as for the younger generation, if i'd had their opportunities with todays information tech, to read, digest etc I would not be still waiting for my SRS it would have happened 20 yrs ago and i would not be seeing the 'thing' in the shower. There is a wealth of written word on the subject covering all perspectives but at the end of the day it will be for the individual to take what action suits them just remember, 'buyer be aware' it does what it says on the 'tin'

[MJ]

I so relate to that... I used to feel physically ill.

i feel the same way. like I'm ashamed or embarrassed to have any see me or touch me right now

[Niya W]

That guy never gave me any pleasure . SO long and he are your walking papers.

[Raquel June]

To summarize what they said, at a 500mg dosage (40 mg active ingredient) isoflavones have no negative effects whatsoever on the male reproductive system.

That study certainly doesn't apply to TS people. The subjects took a low dose and totally discontinued use after 2 months. To quote their results:


There was no change in oestradiol, testosterone, FSH or LH concentrations throughout the study (Table 1). Similarly, the supplement had no significant effect on ejaculate volume, sperm concentration, count or motility[/qoute]

They're basically saying that the phytoestrogens did absolutely nothing, meaning that there would be no feminization, either.



[QUOTE=micheletv;1623163]now sexually its a different story, one of the things that made me admit all this to myself was my strangeness in the bedroom...any time the sex got down to "you know what", i stopped having fun....kissing, hugging, playing around all was very arousing but when it got down to business i just didnt like ANYBODY touching me down there, it felt wrong to me, and i ended up looking at it like an obligation......i forever feel sad for my ex and others that could never understand why i was such a crappy lover...

That's the sort of thing you hear from many sexual abuse victims, too (the ones that don't become hyper-sexual). Has anybody done a study of how many TS people were sexually abused as children?

[Anna the Dub]

and Anna, I'm sorry you cant figure out why you are getting those wet dreamsl, i totally understand....has your blood work come back with high levels of testosterone?

michele

On the contrary, my blood work states that my testosterone level is 'negligible'. I asked my endo about this, and he said that only about 50% of people post orchi lose the ability to function. I just wish it happened less often than it does. I do not masturbate at all, ever, so any thing that happens is only when I am deeply asleep. I have to say I don't get erections like I did before the orchi (I was always aroused), but it still happens far too much for my liking.

[Mary Lee]

I am 62 and it has not worked for over 4 years and I do not care. I am not on HRT but I do take Finasteride 5MG one daily for enlarged prostate and Tamsulosin 0.4MG daily for enlarged prostate. Why have it if it serves no purpose? I can have SRS/GRS and still pee. I set to pee all the time, except public restrooms. The VA has offered to put a pump in it.

[StaceyJane]

I'm 43 and I just passed the 10yr anniversary of the first time I ever even had sex. I was getting close to being the 40yr Old Virgin.
Having sex was never the life changing experience I had heard it would be and frankly the only reason I still have sex is to please my wife. I could do without it myself.
Nowdays I think more about what it would be like to be the woman in a sexual reationship.

[Aurora27]

I think Hollywood has a lot to answer for in regards to sex being some ultimate life-altering event. Yeah, its fantastic, but its also smelly, messy, sweaty, trying to figure out what goes where and how etc.

And sex as a male has never particularly appealed to me. I have a fairly strong sexual drive and I get a lot of pleasure but it always makes me feel so uncomfortable. I'm torn between wanting to keep the pleasure/drive but wanting to lose the male parts. As a young person though I don't think I'll be waiting until middle age before transitioning just for the sake of a few more erections. If all else fails there are other ways to have orgasmic experiences (listening to my favourite songs can give me an amazing rush that leaves me gasping for air - music is incredible!)

[Raquel June]

Why have it if it serves no purpose?

If you're going to be objective I could just as easily say, "Why have major surgery if you don't really need it?" And the answer to that is much more personal and psychological. Most TS girls resent their boy parts and aren't exactly capable of getting any real sexual satisfaction with them. That's the real issue.

[stephgoth]

That study certainly doesn't apply to TS people. The subjects took a low dose and totally discontinued use after 2 months.

I thought it applied at least a bit as you had said that estrogen therapy can cause sterility in a couple months, so the herbal stuff doesn't, but apparently doesn't work well either. Seemed somewhat germane anyway.

Steph

[Raquel June]

I thought it applied at least a bit as you had said that estrogen therapy can cause sterility in a couple months, so the herbal stuff doesn't, but apparently doesn't work well either. Seemed somewhat germane anyway.

Steph

Yeah... That was kinda my point, not trying to be mean. I would assume that if the herbal stuff worked, it would also cause sterility, and that study doesn't prove otherwise.

[kellycan27]

good ridence! not my favorite body part.

[Diane24]

As a post-op gal, I can report that my sex drive seems to be normal and I can reach an orgasm with stimulation of my Canadian manufactured clitoris! In fact, dialation suddenly became fun after weeks of drudgery!
The male parts just "hung around" for several years until my SRS. I have read that continued stimulation of the penis will insure that your SRS surgeon will have enough material to build a proper size vaginal canal. I didn't bother stimulating anything and ended up fairly normal according to my gyno. So, since we are all human and bound to be different from each other, I guess that the male appendage will respond differently no matter who we are or what medication we take. Don't forget, SEX is 90% mental!

[sandra-leigh]

Speaking only for myself: I would be considering hormones much more seriously if I were sure that I would still be able to get it up. I somewhat enjoy my sexual thoughts, and would like to have sex more often.

Some would perhaps say that this effectively disqualifies me from being TS; GRS is not something that I'm interested in (but who knows how I'll feel in the future.) In my thread about "How do I know if I'm transgender or just a CD", a number of people suggested that I am TS and just haven't admitted it yet. (I'm think I'm one of the mixture or middle genders.)

[Elise.Matei]

As a post-op gal, I can report that my sex drive seems to be normal and I can reach an orgasm with stimulation of my Canadian manufactured clitoris! In fact, dialation suddenly became fun after weeks of drudgery... I guess that the male appendage will respond differently no matter who we are or what medication we take. Don't forget, SEX is 90% mental!

That's SO true! It all starts in the mind. I have a relatively nice figure, long, perpetually hard nipples, and little breasts that currently measure as an A cup in size, using the standard tape measure approach (where you subtract the measured circumference for the chest just above the bustline from the circumference at the bust).

But I also love my male thingy. However with my testosterone is super low (au natural) and my mental frame of mind and emotional state is much more important wrt to erections compared to before. Though it is one playful puppy when it wakes up - but always gentle and never assuming or even assertive! In fact it is so shy it will go away if not felt loved or wanted. I have to sincerely care about my partner in a loving trusting way or it wont work - which is complicated - because while exclusivity is important (for many reasons, not the least of which is the preservation of health!) - I tend to fall in love easily and this seems to be a turnoff to many trans or gg women in these messed-up loveless times, I think.

I couldn't even consider losing "it" though. Sometimes it seems to lose itself though. LOL. It can become so tiny at times that it sort of sinks into itself and tucks away. Having just a single (small) testicle, its often easy to hide the whole package so that when I'm in a negligee and my legs are crossed you would have no idea anything male was hidden down between my thighs and swear you were looking at a the lower torso of a woman. I amaze myself sometimes when its that way and I happen to look down. :o

I am however so fond of it, it is my favorite play thing - even though I have a decidedly female mindset, and feel this to be my natural and definitive state. Oddly, however, it is precisely when I am in an environment where I can freely express my inner feminine nature, that I am more apt to become both emotionally and physically erect. And when so, it gives me what I can only describe as agonizingly pleasurable feelings that are best savored and allowed to linger by not rushing it nor going all the way until maybe after a few hours in such a state.

It's been fun playing with these heavy pendulous silicone breastforms (since late last December) but I feel fake wearing them and they press down on my real breasts and squish my real nipples (the latter of which are actually longer and more erect than the ones on the breastforms). I DOwant my real breasts to be a little bit larger - but not really really large and NOT at the expense of anymore erectile dysfunction.

I guess I really trulywant to be a real and actual she-male. To me it's the best of both worlds. I guess I want it ALL!!! And I don't think that's asking for too too much.

Is it? :sad:


Speaking only for myself: I would be considering hormones much more seriously if I were sure that I would still be able to get it up. I somewhat enjoy my sexual thoughts, and would like to have sex more often.

Some would perhaps say that this effectively disqualifies me from being TS; GRS is not something that I'm interested in (but who knows how I'll feel in the future.) In my thread about "How do I know if I'm transgender or just a CD", a number of people suggested that I am TS and just haven't admitted it yet. (I'm think I'm one of the mixture or middle genders.)

OMG Tess I just saw this after writing my above post!!! We are kindred spirits girlfriend!!!!

[Beth-Lock]

This is all very interesting, but what does it say? Let me attempt a summary.

If you take hormones or have some other physical alteration, you may or may not get certain effects, though you are more likely to get some, and stop getting others than pure chance would indicate, though chance plays a big part.

Doctors seem to know best, if they happen to say what agrees with your experience, even by accident or random chance. Otherwise, you at least half-know better.

Many of us, if not all of us are quite different in all the important ways, and only seem to share the desire to be TS/TG.

Hope you do not find this too cheeky, but it seems to prove what we are dealing with is more of an art than a science.

[Cindy Lynn]

I haven't gotten "it" up in a couple of years. It really hasn't changed anything. I'm a trans, not a *******.

You have to let go of the "male" if you ever want to fully transition. Males worry about "getting it up", Females just have to let what comes naturally happen. It is a very nice ride if you just go with the flow.

[Raquel June]

I'm a trans, not a *******.

Getting an erection now and then makes someone a *******? That's harsh.




You have to let go of the "male" if you ever want to fully transition.

We all have different priorities. You could just as easily say that people who don't get hair plugs or FFS aren't letting go of the "male." I have enough issues with self-esteem and dealing with reality without people telling me that if I wake up with morning wood tomorrow I'm suddenly not trans.

[Cindy Lynn]

Oh I didn't mean that getting erections was a bad thing. I just meant that if you are taking hormones, you have made a choice to be a woman. Sooner or later you are going to become impotent. It comes with the territory.

Maybe I could have phrased it better

[Raquel June]

Sooner or later you are going to become impotent. It comes with the territory.

Sooner or later you'll become sterile (usually sooner), but not everybody on HRT is impotent. I personally know several people on high doses of spiro who still get erections, and even a couple post-orci girls.