Help, please -- Too many subjects for one topic line >_<

[Danni the Unoriginal]

Loathe as I am to admit it, I need help. I live with my family -- Both parents, two brothers, and a sister. All older than me. One brother and my sister are both going off to college in a few months. My other one is planning on going next year.

I have no source of personal income (damn the economy!), no car (let alone license), parents whom I have very little clue about their levels of understanding, friends in the same boat as my parents, and I'm not really a cross dresser (or whatever term you'd prefer to use for me), just curious.

I've stolen a pair or two of my sister's panties before (no, nothing sexual), and when I wear them I feel... well, me. I want to be able to experiment with cross dressing, but I don't want to have to keep resorting to stealing my sister's clothes (she's got a completely different build than I do, anyway. Oh, and I almost forgot... nearly 10 inches on me).

In addition to all of this, I'm a small-town guy. I don't mind rumors and teasing (It can't be worse than it used to be, and now I have much better coping skills), but in small towns you never know who's going to be violent in situations like these. Since I don't tend to go anywhere I can be attacked, it's not a big problem, but it's still something I need to think about.

I've got a few close friends whom I've come out to (I'm bi, as well), and they've been supportive, if a bit uncomfortable. But again, I have almost no idea how my parents would react to news like this, and no matter how much they make me mad, I don't want to hurt them.

Then, there's the problems with school: I'm a piss-poor student, and not for lack of trying. If I turn out to be a bi cross dresser with no job who probably won't end up going to college, I have no idea what anyone in my family would do, least of all myself.

Well, even if nobody can help me out here, at least I've been able to get this all off my chest. It's all been building up for years, and I suppose it's good that it's coming out in a positive way, rather than me turning really violent again (I used to be a murderous little child, even if I was barely strong enough to cause pain to someone in the third degree burn ward).

And now that I'm out of steam to keep writing, I think I'll go eat some lunch -- My stomach is killing me.

Oh, and I guess I owe an apology: I broke the 18+ rule. I just need help, and here seemed like a place where people could give it to me.

Carpal tunnel... setting... in....

[Priss]

Danni.

Tsk, tsk, tsk... Breaking the 18 rule...:eek:

That said, I'd suggest just going for broke, and talking to your parents about it. You just never know, what they might already know or not know... Not to mention that they may be willing to get you the help that you need, whether that be straightening you out or helping you on the path. There are other people out there who have actually had the TS surgery at the age of 18. If nothing else, by telling them atleast you'll know where they stand on the issue.

Iam a small town girl myself. Born and raised in a small white town in Northern Indiana. I know how trying to experiment in that kind of place can be. I just buried my mother last month. One thing that she used to say to me all the time, especially when she was drunk, was "Why didn't I know, all those years...". In actuality, she had seen plenty of signs, but chose to just ignore them as she didn't know what those signs meant. Suffice to say that during my own childhood, I would have never told my mother. It would have been great to be able to tell her, however she was prone to occasional fits of anger, that always scared me... This is why I never told her till I was 24 yrs old. If I could have told her, maybe.............. and that's a long stretch, I could have done something about this earlier in my life. She was a single parent with three children at the time, so there probably would not have been any help financially. I'd have still had to go out into the world and make my own way with this. With two parents, you might just have a chance of figuring out things earlier in life.

Not to mention that talking to your parents, may take loads off of your mind, and actually make school easier. School is very important. Everyone has it within them, to pass their studies and graduate. And after that, no one is too dumb to go to college... Don't sell yourself short. Don't just give up. If nothing else, eventually you'll be able to get out on your own, and experiment all you want to.

Hope this is helpful.

[Jill]

Well Danni, I'm gonna try and give you some words of wisdom before you get the boot out of here. Personally, I think America's youth are in enough trouble and we should try and help them out instead of tossing them out on their ear. You're way to young to be worried about as much as you are worried about. I don't think that you should run out and tell the world and then get an operation. You're just young, confused, and overwhelmed. There's nothing that says that you have to decide this very minute who and what you are going to be. My advice, slow it down, slow it way down. Worry about the hear and now, take it a little at a time and the future will come in it's own time. I say going for broke is a bad idea unless you really feel your parents will accept and understand. Bottom line, slow down, seriously.

[ChristineRenee]

Loathe as I am to admit it, I need help. I live with my family -- Both parents, two brothers, and a sister. All older than me. One brother and my sister are both going off to college in a few months. My other one is planning on going next year.

I have no source of personal income (damn the economy!), no car (let alone license), parents whom I have very little clue about their levels of understanding, friends in the same boat as my parents, and I'm not really a cross dresser (or whatever term you'd prefer to use for me), just curious.

I've stolen a pair or two of my sister's panties before (no, nothing sexual), and when I wear them I feel... well, me. I want to be able to experiment with cross dressing, but I don't want to have to keep resorting to stealing my sister's clothes (she's got a completely different build than I do, anyway. Oh, and I almost forgot... nearly 10 inches on me).

In addition to all of this, I'm a small-town guy. I don't mind rumors and teasing (It can't be worse than it used to be, and now I have much better coping skills), but in small towns you never know who's going to be violent in situations like these. Since I don't tend to go anywhere I can be attacked, it's not a big problem, but it's still something I need to think about.

I've got a few close friends whom I've come out to (I'm bi, as well), and they've been supportive, if a bit uncomfortable. But again, I have almost no idea how my parents would react to news like this, and no matter how much they make me mad, I don't want to hurt them.

Then, there's the problems with school: I'm a piss-poor student, and not for lack of trying. If I turn out to be a bi cross dresser with no job who probably won't end up going to college, I have no idea what anyone in my family would do, least of all myself.

Well, even if nobody can help me out here, at least I've been able to get this all off my chest. It's all been building up for years, and I suppose it's good that it's coming out in a positive way, rather than me turning really violent again (I used to be a murderous little child, even if I was barely strong enough to cause pain to someone in the third degree burn ward).

And now that I'm out of steam to keep writing, I think I'll go eat some lunch -- My stomach is killing me.

Oh, and I guess I owe an apology: I broke the 18+ rule. I just need help, and here seemed like a place where people could give it to me.

Carpal tunnel... setting... in....Danni I am going to put my 2 cents worth in here because I feel for you. I wish that I had had someone to confide in when I was your age...in fact when I was much younger.

This is a very complex phenonmenon that we deal with. I am almost 53 years old. I started crossdressing at 12. My mom eventually found out I was doing it but thankfully for me she never actually caught me in the act. When I was young I thought I was the only one who felt this way and that I was not only not normal but maybe even some kind of pervert as well. Mostly what I want to tell you is to take your time with this. You don't even know yet what you are dealing with. You haven't had enough experience to be able to differentiate from a curiosity that you may eventually outgrow with time or whether or not you may actually be more than just a crossdresser. I was 41 before I had any kind of real understanding about what I was dealing with and just who I was. It takes time and research. Seeking medical advice. At 40 I started seeing a psychologist. I went to this woman for almost a year. I also now have a woman doctor that I go to on a regular basis. (same doctor who treats my wife)

Anyway...you need to do some homework...and lots of it. Use the internet and research, research, research. You need to know the differences between transvestites, crossdressers, transgendered, and transsexuals. I emplore you to seek out others with similar experiences, like me for example, who won't BS you but tell you the truth about what you may or may not be dealing with.

This is the best advice this ol' girl can give you at this point. The ball is in your court now. Be patient....and safe.

Peace & Love,

Christine58V8

[Julie]

Danni,

Like too many of us you lack self esteem. For most of us this is manifested in our youth when we learn crossdressing is not only strange but an abomination against nature (yes, I am going to the extreme but to make a point) Here's a few questions to ask yourself:

You say you stole feminine clothing items but it was not for sexual pleasure. Then what was the reason?

You say "I am not really a crossdresser" but you admit to wearing women's clothes. If not to crossdress, then why?

Everything I read here says DENIAL. I am no licensed professional but I do think it would benefit you greatly to see one.