Girls have more fun?

[Marla GG]

Sorry to be such a tease with the title, but this is actually a semi-serious topic. I wrote this little essay today and I thought some of you might enjoy it. If you get impatient, feel free to skip to the last paragraph.



Girls Have More Fun?
How Loving a Crossdresser Helped me Make Peace with my Own Femininity


Compared to most of you, who have been lovers of femininity all your lives, I am a late bloomer. Being female, as I’m sure you know, does not automatically lead a person to embrace the clothing, mannerisms, and interests we usually think of as feminine. Yes, society attempts to thrust femininity upon us, and to a certain extent we can’t help but be influenced by those expectations of how a girl should dress and act, but that doesn’t mean that all of us identify with femininity or enjoy it.

As a young girl, I realized early on that being female in this world had disadvantages. Looking around at the families I knew, I noticed that the dads seemed to have interesting and important careers, while the moms stayed at home or held poorly paid service jobs to supplement the family income. I also saw that the dads invariably had more authority in the family and the community. In history books I read of men leading nations, exploring new lands, writing literature, painting masterpieces, and making scientific discoveries. Sometimes there would be a token woman among them, but the pattern was clear to me: being female meant being powerless.

Being female was not something I could change, nor would I have wanted to if I could. But I could—and did—reject the stereotypical model of femininity. I associated feminine characteristics with weakness and superficiality, and I had no desire to play that role. Yet I could never be a tomboy, because I despised masculine traits like aggression, competitiveness, and egotism. I admired women who were strong, wise, and nurturing, and men who were gentle, expressive, and intelligent. What I ultimately became was a rather serious, bookish girl who spoke her mind and did not concern herself with frivolous pastimes like shopping and dressing up. I preferred clothing in neutral colors and plain styles, and I avoided makeup, nail polish, jewelry and feminine hairstyles. I did not respect women who cultivated a feminine appearance, because I felt they weren’t helping the cause of gender equality. This opinion was further strengthened when I went to college and was introduced to the basic writings of feminism, which emphasized how traditional women’s attire and standards of beauty were designed to be restrictive, cumbersome, uncomfortable, and time-consuming, and to make women appear small, delicate, and helpless in order to keep them “in their place.”

Being in love with a crossdresser turned my notions of femininity upside down. At first I was bothered by this obsession with the feminine, because it seemed focused on the stereotypical female images that I was opposed to. But gradually I learned that, for most crossdressers, the attraction to feminine clothes is driven by a deep love and admiration for women, not as sex objects, but as role models. It is obvious to me that Angel’s attitude toward women is much different from that of the typical male. He adores his mother and sees her as his father’s equal; he respects his female boss and coworkers, and never makes those snide “she must have slept her way to the top” comments that I find so infuriating. Truth be told, he believes in female superiority. As a dominant woman, I find this very gratifying. And yet he loves to see and to wear ultra-feminine clothing. An impossible paradox? No. My experience with crossdressing has helped me to redefine femininity for myself and to see that I can be strong and feminine at the same time. My wardrobe and personal style have changed dramatically in recent years: I now love to wear feminine clothing, makeup, jewelry, and perfume. I have discovered that my taste runs more to “classic” styles—silk blouses, cashmere sweater sets, little black dresses, and pearls. I still don’t wear frilly or skimpy outfits, because I prefer clothing that defines me as a woman, not a little girl or a tart. My personality has changed subtly, as well. I am more emotional and sentimental than I used to be, a little softer around the edges, and a little less serious. I love going shopping with Angel, painting our toenails, and discussing subjects I used to think of as trivial such as hair and makeup. Life is just more fun now that I have given myself permission to enjoy my feminine side….and I’m sure you can all understand that! :)

©2005

[Kimberly]

This is great!!! A "must show" to all SOs out there who are having a hard time accepting :D

Thanks Marla, and if I haven't said before, it's good to have you on board :)

[DanaJ]

...a very good read, Marla! Thanks....

DanaJ

[Jenny Beth]

I just loved this post. It is heartwarming and satisfying to know that it took one of us to point out that being a woman does not mean that you have to take a back seat to a male dominated society. You've made my day!

[sara_also]

Marla,
I have to agree with all of the others on this forum that have given you much praise.
My wife is also very accepting of my desires to crossdress and has helped me in every way.
You have such a wonderful way of expressing the advantages of living with,or being married to a cd.
Thank You for all of your wisdom
Sara

[AllThingsPretty]

Marla, You just made my day. You gave me hope in my own marriage. and I plan on sharing this with my wife. A BIG thank you.

[new2jersey]

Wow Marla, the way you worded that was beautiful. Angel is a lucky lady to have a SO like you! It's so refreshing getting a GG point of view, especially a GG who did not embrace the "stereotypical female images". See, I was surrounded by women my whole life, Mom, three sisters, three aunts, and 4 cousins. All are very strong, indiviual woman whom I held in high regard. So at a young age, I have identified with woman, and still do. I think that is why i loving being a woman!

[misty_waves]

Marla - that was a great little essay! Being a genetic male, I'm always focusing on the downsides of being a male in this society. It was interesting to read a firsthand experience of a female in this society. Thanks for the enlightening read.

- Misty

[karen marie]

marla,
that was so beautiful,and so true.
i've always admired women and looked at them as role models.
i admired my mom so much,the way she took over raising me
and furthered her education to better support us.and all the
while letting me know it was ok to be feminine.and my wife,she's
so intelligent and beautiful.we are all so fortunate and blessed to
have such wonderful SOs.
hugs karen.

[Wendy me]

thankyou for that...........marla that was just beautiful .....

[Julie York]

Very well put. I am now going to go out and try to corrupt a Tom Boy into being all girly.

Hey! It might work!!!!

[Julie]

Marla,

Very well written! I enjoyed every bit of it.

I wondered as I read it how many CDs think of women the same way you described Angel's attitude? I certainly feel that way. While I won't say I idolize women, I do have a deep respect and admiration for them.

You made me wonder about my choice in a marital partner though. My ex is the opposite of a strong woman. While I won't call her weak she has a hard time standing up to someone without outside support. I thought I could help her become a strong woman because I admire that in anyone, male or female. I thought I could help her get to a place in life where she would become her own woman. I was wrong. Either I didn't know how to do it or she didn't want to be that or a combination of both. :confused:

When raising my daughter, I instilled in her independence. I always felt my responsibility as a parent was to teach my kids not just to survive when out on their own but to thrive. From what I see in my daughter she has learned well and I'm so proud of her. We are very close and she knows more about me than any other family member. At least I succeeded with her.

Like most CDs I started out wanting to be as feminine as possible. For one, it hides a lot of masculinity but I also wanted to get as far away from being masculine as possible having forced fed that all my life. But I find the more time I spend dressed the more I tend to dress like a woman. I feel more like I'm one of them. This has had a very positive effect on me in helping me relate better to the opposite sex. I also seem to respect them even more.

While I certainly crossdress, I categorize myself as transgendered, which means I have one foot in each camp. I NEED to live in both worlds. Having spent most of my 54 years on earth in the male world, it is the one I know best and can function best in. It's something I can fall back on when I need to. But my strongest inclinations are towards living, as best I can, in the female world. I'm happiest there. I just feel more comfortable with women than men. When I walked into an all girl club event Friday, I felt like I was where I belonged. I got this warm, homey feeling. There were two other CDs there and a few men but I spent most of my time with the girls. Maybe my brain really is female. And maybe that's why I so closely relate to woman. I may never know the answer to that but I do know I'm different than practically every man I know in my attitude towards women. If this is common amongst CDs and TGs it seems like a good selling point when considering a lifemate. :D

Thanks for posting this. That one woman recognizes what you have gives me hope there's more, but I now know, when I start seriously looking again, I need to find a woman who is already strong. :)

[Holly]

Marla,

What a wonderful essay you have written. I so appreciate the "view from the other side." I won't even try and speak on behalf of all crossdressers, but a huge percentage of the reason I have to dress is because of my inner drive to become as feminine as I can possible become... that, and as the title of your thread suggests, I think girls DO have more fun. Men seem to always be busy plotting and conniving, trying their best to wind up with all the marbles. And for what end?

Women, on the other hand, spend their energies planting and nurturing, instilling values in their offspring. They provide confort, support, encouragement. They act unselfishly, promoting the interests of the whole, rather than self interest. Women will take time to enjoy the beauty and joy around them... men can't be bothered. Women will take the time to celebrate and pamper themselves. They have an ability to understand the complete person... physical, emotional, spiritual. Most men pretty much get stuck at the physical.

Marla, thank-you again for putting into words those wonderful thoughts. I hope you and Angel have a terrific vacation!

[tammie]

Hi All: MARLA GG, U rock. Your man is so lucky, I envy him. I was once married to a strong tall athletic Mensa mining engineer. She was/is able to make decisions without having to "ask a man" but she will get anothr opinion and consider input from others. She is dominant and yet the most feminine and sensuous woman I ever met. We got divorced and I never loved again after her. We R still good friends and have a child together, and she still knows how much I love her.

What I believe is: Women have all the magic that is in this world. They R the stonger better half of humanity. I love and desire almost all the women I see for so many differant reasons I could never list them all.

I am a career fierfighter/paramedic and once an older woman (in her 70s when I was in my 30s) had me in her house as a guest and she came and got in bed with me. Some of my friends that I have shared this with have been shocked that I would have sex with a woman so old. It was after I was divorced as I would never have cheated on my X. It was one of the best experiences I ever had and I cherish it as she is gone now.

Yes I loved my mother and she was the stronger influence in my life and it may sound silly but she taught me to be a man. My father didn't really like me or spend any time with me, he was a good provider but didn't really like kids.

I guess I just adore women for the reason they R the givers of life and the best of life. I am glad so many of them put up with the silly shit men do.

[StephanieCD]

There are CD/GG groups and newsletters that would LOVE you... I do.

Well written, well said and well received!

[Deidra Cowen]

Wow! What a great post. I enjoyed reading it and think I learned something. :thumbsup:

[ChristineRenee]

Thank you Marla. What a wonderful and eloquently written post. A definite must read for my wife and for other wives & SO's who struggle with the acceptance of living day-to-day with a CD. Yet another reason too why I want my wife to join this forum and interact with GG's such as yourself. She would understand this so much better and maybe learn a lot more about herself in the process.:rolleyes:

Thanks again Marla...and may God bless both you and Angel!

Love,
Chrissie:)

[Maria2004]

Enjoyed your "essay" until I read;


Truth be told, he believes in female superiority.

Made me sad. I never regreted being born male, just the limited stereotype I was saddled with. Maria is an extension of my humanity, reaching for "wholeness".
2 sides of the same coin.

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b267/maria04/yin.jpg

"We may rise and fall, but in the end we meet our fate together" ; Scott Stapp

[Marla GG]

My goodness....I never expected such a response. I am just overwhelmed. You ladies are such good listeners (but you already knew that) and I have been very touched by the thoughts you've shared. I plan to PM a few of you to thank you personally for your responses, time permitting. I did read all of what you had to say and I thank you for enriching my understanding of the special community we belong to.

Maria, I am sorry that my reference to "female superiority" made you sad. I don't know if a clarification from me will help, but I hope it will. I am not a man-hater. I have known many men in my life who were kind and good. Angel and I both cherish his male self, identity and life history as well as his femme self. Recently his personality has become more and more integrated, so I'm not sure it's accurate to speak in terms of two distinct selves within him any more.

I certainly didn't mean to imply, and I don't think Angel would either, that there is something inherently superior about the female sex. Sex is what you're born with, and ultimately it's just about the body you live in. However, I have to agree with Angel that in terms of the gender traits we learn or choose for ourselves, I prefer the traits that are commonly associated with women. I have always felt women were more in touch with their emotions, more inclined to nurture and care for others, more empathetic, more supportive, more communicative, more cooperative, more peaceful, and more altruistic than men. I believe that these qualities are mostly learned, not innate, so I believe that men can adopt them too, if they wish. Sadly, many men reject them. It is unfortunately more acceptable in our society for a woman to express some so-called masculine traits, such as being a protector and provider, than it is for a man to express femininity.

I am sorry if I offended you. It was not my intention to engage in male-bashing, but speaking for myself and Angel, we are happiest when both of us actively emphasize those characteristics that our culture deems feminine and downplay those deemed masculine. For us personally, the feminine side of the spectrum does seem superior, and I know that is a value judgment, but so be it. If others want to express more masculine traits, that is their prerogative and may be the right choice for them.







Enjoyed your "essay" until I read;



Made me sad. I never regreted being born male, just the limited stereotype I was saddled with. Maria is an extension of my humanity, reaching for "wholeness".
2 sides of the same coin.

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b267/maria04/yin.jpg

"We may rise and fall, but in the end we meet our fate together" ; Scott Stapp

[Khriss]

Matriarchal societies, have existed since pre-history, and some were much kinder than others- Women still rule in traditional ways in "this world"depending on geography-,,, soo power is a gender issue!??? sh*t,,, , people May Never get over "THAT"- seems sad , or enjoyable in a some ways- to Me- ,,, get My Drift?? I have great respect for , people- it's individual persons I dissagree with--- and hey- Marla - I admitt ,I agree with You,,, a lot!?

[melissacd]

Marla,

You are a breath of fresh air. I love reading your posts!

Maria,

You have made an excellent point!

I love femininity because it makes me feel whole, it completes me, it fills in that great void that I have felt all of my life.

I have masculine qualities that are important elements in making me who I am. I also have feminine qualities that I am sad to say I have suppressed for too much of my life. The joy is realizing that both are part of all of us, men and women alike.

It is time to open our hearts and our minds and embrace the positive elements of all of who we are. To be open, tolerant and accepting. This is so much of what I get out of cross dressing. It has shown me a path to me. The real me.

For too much of his/herstory and in many parts of the world there has been this male dominance thing going on and it is time that we replace it, not with the opposite, but rather with a synthesis of all that is good and wonderful about being both masculine and being feminine. It is time for openess and acceptance. We need to go from his/herstory to ourstory. We are equals, deserving love, respect and acceptance.

I love all of you and what you have taught me about myslef,

Hugs
Melissa

[cindybarnes]

Marla, that was an AWSOME post ! I see its givin hope here to some already!
The world needs more GG's like yourself and I say Angel is very lucky to have found you :)
Thanks !
Cindy

[Jan W]

You are a wonderful person Marla.

You possess the ability to look at a situation from points of view not necessarily your own.

Enjoyed your writings!

[RachelDenise]

Thank you for sharing your and Angel's experiences with the group. It makes it easier for us all when there is rational and insightful discussion!

[Maria2004]

I am sorry if I offended you. It was not my intention to engage in male-bashing



No, no! I wasn't offended, nor did I take your essay as agressive or anti-male, I wouldn't have bothered if I did. The quote I posted last night seemed to imply to me that the "masculine" was inferior and therefor could be dismissed, rejected, or eliminated, and I'm "not" talking about physical traits either. Which is a subject near and dear to my heart, and it simply made me sad to think that was what you ment. But your clarification helped that. I'm un-sad now :)

In either case I still like your essay, glad you took the time and effort to put it up. It's the kinda stuff I look for when I come here. :thumbsup:

Hope you and Angel have a great vacation :wave:

[Jenny Beth]

This has been an awesome post, well overdue I think and so great to have a female perspective of what we are all about. Society has always expected men to be masculine and good providers and protectors while women bare foot and pregnant. It is for these reasons that so many of us rebel in what ever way we can so as not to be "one of them". My wife has never been one for glitz and glamour for the very reasons that Marla posted. For her it wasn't too hard to not have to conform to what was expected of her. As for me I tried hard to shake this feminine side by doing very macho things, I worked in "real men's" proffessions, helicopter logging, commercial fishing and spent years in the fire service.
It may not seem like it but we are gaining ground. Sites like this one are helping our cause and it is great that so many GG's are standing up and saying it's okay for us to express our softer side. Glad you are all here ladies!

[TrueGemini'sWife GG]

It seems sad to me that you grew up with the impression of women like you had. I, on the other hand was brought up by women whom were beautiful, (proud of that too) strong, intelligent, well educated and yet, very soft and loving. Though, I was a victim of those stereotypes myself. Just because I took great care with my clothing, hair, make up, shoes, jewelry, etc. Just because I stayed in shape and was invited to the proms, I was automatically labeled, "A snob" or "A b*tch" or even better, "easy". It was impossible for people who thought, well like you did for instance and men in general, to believe that just because I "looked" a certain way, I ACTUALLY had a brain and a will of my own, too.

I think that is why I am the way I am, today. Headstrong, extremely social and talkative. I want the first impression to be, "Geez, this woman knows A LOT of stuff" Not, "Did you see what she was wearing?".
Stereotyping hurts everyone. Even those that you think it can't touch.

Great post Marla!
And welcome! See? We aren't really all THAT bad.. We frilly women!
LOL!

[Julie]

I have always felt women were more in touch with their emotions, more inclined to nurture and care for others, more empathetic, more supportive, more communicative, more cooperative, more peaceful, and more altruistic than men. I believe that these qualities are mostly learned, not innate, so I believe that men can adopt them too, if they wish. Sadly, many men reject them. It is unfortunately more acceptable in our society for a woman to express some so-called masculine traits, such as being a protector and provider, than it is for a man to express femininity.

Marla, there's no doubt women are as you described them and that's part of what I feel makes them so special (and part of what I envy). But the sad fact is our society teaches boys (and it carries on through to manhood) to deny their feelings. What is also sad is how boys are told not to do anything that even remotely resembles anything a girl might do. That includes crying, talking about feeling hurt or just skipping around having fun. Boys are taught that acting like a girl means you're weak, and that's subjuct to ridicule and humiliation. I've often wondered how life would be if we just let kids grow up the way they want. I think it would be a pretty great world.

But while girls are placed in a prison specific to their gender so are boys. For some reason it seems our society has to create as large a gap as possible between the sexes when in fact we aren't all that different. Boys are taught to be tough, even if they don't want to. They are told they have to be the protector, even if they don't feel up to the task. They are told they can't cry, even if they are hurt. They are told they have to act macho, even if they don't know what that is.

One of the things I love about a woman's world is they can just be themselves. Yes, Marla, all your points are very valid but you did say something that struck a cord, "Being female was not something I could change, nor would I have wanted to if I could" I have yet to meet a woman who disagrees with that. But, as you have seen here, there are so many men who would make that change if they could. That says something about being male in this society.

As a society we are so myopic. We just can't see the need to change things. We hang onto ancient ideals because we are afraid if we let them go something bad might happen. Men might turn into sissys and then who will protect the women and children? Or more realistic, who would fight the wars? That's sad indeed.

The women's movement started decades ago and it still needs adjusting. But I doubt I'll see a men's movement in my lifetime because men are all too afraid to admit they want to share feelings and talk about emotions and hug each other in friendship and do all those things women take for granted. The closet is full and everyone's afraid to be the first one out. Gays have stepped out but straights are buried deep and have no intentions of coming out. So who are really the strong ones?

Maybe Marla, just maybe, people like you will help open the eyes of those who refuse to see and maybe, just maybe, we will all begin to know and respect one another like we should have all along. Until then, I'll do my part in keeping these ideas alive.

Thanks for being yourself.

[ChristineRenee]

Great post Julie. Once again I think you have verbalized the sentiments of almost all of us here. Yes....women certainly have gotten the short end of the stick in society for what seems like forever. Yet society has always put it's own brand of restrictions and well-defined limits on men too. I too have often wondered how much better the world would be if kids were just allowed to be brought up to be themselves instead of trying to rigidly define their roles in society. Maybe there would be a lot less need for the exhibiting of testosterone and a lot more caring, understanding, and love in this world of ours! Might help...sure couldn't hurt, huh?

Again...great post girlfriend....and thanks Marla for a great thread too!;)

Love,
Chrissie:)

[Katie Ashe]

Marla, I'm so happy to see you grow as a person. I wish more people would see life as you have writen. If we aren't happy with whom we are, it makes for a long day...

Katie

[ChristineRenee]

It seems sad to me that you grew up with the impression of women like you had. I, on the other hand was brought up by women whom were beautiful, (proud of that too) strong, intelligent, well educated and yet, very soft and loving. Though, I was a victim of those stereotypes myself. Just because I took great care with my clothing, hair, make up, shoes, jewelry, etc. Just because I stayed in shape and was invited to the proms, I was automatically labeled, "A snob" or "A b*tch" or even better, "easy". It was impossible for people who thought, well like you did for instance and men in general, to believe that just because I "looked" a certain way, I ACTUALLY had a brain and a will of my own, too.

I think that is why I am the way I am, today. Headstrong, extremely social and talkative. I want the first impression to be, "Geez, this woman knows A LOT of stuff" Not, "Did you see what she was wearing?".
Stereotyping hurts everyone. Even those that you think it can't touch.

Great post Marla!
And welcome! See? We aren't really all THAT bad.. We frilly women!
LOL!

You're the whole package and then some Pattie...no competition....hands-down! But frilly? Ok biker babe....I wanna see pics of that!

Give it up Momma Bear....your inquiring cubs what to know...and see!:D

Love always...from your pestiest cub!
Chrissie Bear:p

Marla - Sorry for hijacking here hon!:)

[Kimberly]

I've often wondered how life would be if we just let kids grow up the way they want. I think it would be a pretty great world.
That's the plan for my kids!! (if and when they appear :))

[eileen1969]

its what its all about we can have fun at any givin time! :p be sexy n have fun doing it! :wave: :evilbegon here yee here yee we have the right to this not just girls!

[Kimberly]

I admired women who were strong, wise, and nurturing, and men who were gentle, expressive, and intelligent. What I ultimately became was a rather serious, bookish girl who spoke her mind and did not concern herself with frivolous pastimes like shopping and dressing up. I preferred clothing in neutral colors and plain styles, and I avoided makeup, nail polish, jewelry and feminine hairstyles.
Sounds like many of the women I've dated over the few years I've been on this Earth...

Just proving my point further that I believe the right people attract the right partner - and it is not through luck that you and your SO met; him adoring women for their strength and nurturing, and you liking a man who expresses him... just happens to be his feminine side too. :)

May you find much happiness with your husband and his dressing. :thumbsup:

[Holly]

This has got to be one of the best threads we've had in this formum for weeks on the subject of Female v. Male lifestyle. The real question is not which sex is "superior" or "better." The real question is how do we take those traits that are of the greatest benefit to society and make them acceptable for everyone? There's nothing inheirently wrong in being a good provider to your family yet this is viewed by society by and large as the "role" of the male. But I know lots of women who also provide for their families as well. In fact it has almost become the norm, at least here in the US, as it is becoming more and more difficult to provide for even a modest family on a single income. I know my own wife has stepped up to the plate and done her share to help support our family financially.

One huge down side I can see, as women take on more of the roles and responsibilities that have historically been done by men, is the negative impact it is having on the health of women. Heart attacks in women have increased dramatically since the 70's. Most sources say it is due to the increased stress in the lives of women as they operate within the more male dominated workforce. Add to that, the added stress of holding a job outside the household and still keeping house and home intact and you have a receipe for trouble.

Men, on the other hand have been much slower in trying to adapt more "feminine" traits into their mainstream lifestyle. They usually settle for more utilitarian clothing styles, have some difficulty multitasking, and, in general, do a much poorer job of taking care of themselves. I'm not being critical here, just stating my own observations. This is the wrong group to ask this question, but how many men who have not captured the vision of what it means to be feminine regularly practice any form of skin care, for example? Or just sit down and talk to one another without some type of competition going on (pool, darts, poker, etc.)? As a group, we just don't do these things. Why? Because that's "stuff girls do." I say, "So what?"

I was talking to a GG friend of mine this past weekend. Her husband is excessive/compulsive in many areas. He is demanding and critical of his wife and their children. This behavior is not only causing trouble in their marriage, but in his relationship with his kids as well. The saddest part is that he would not have to compromise his belief system to fix this. All he would need to do is stop being critical and demanding and start being more nurturing and encouraging. The goal of wanting his family to become the best that they can possibly be doesn't have to change, just the path to get them there. And I think women, in general, engage in this type of behavior more readily than men do. Ordering=manly; nurturing=girly.

<stepping off soapbox>

[bikebuster77]

hey Marla,

my name is Sarah, and im new to the forum, but from what Ive read...your posts are very influential, and made me proud of what I am. I think that what you wrote was pretty much the broad point of view for feminity (sorry for the spelling)

[DragonLotus]

Wow, what a great post. :thumbsup:

I'm still struggling with those notions of femininity, probably for many of the same reasons you listed. I have mostly utilized my feminine beauty to either be accepted/desired/loved or to gain power in some way, almost as if beauty were a costume to me. I know how to look beautiful but I don't seem to luxuriate in its essence.

Weird, I know! :D

I tend to flip back and forth between my female and male sides a lot. But being a dominant, I'm more willing to go-for-broke in life, having rapidly moved myself up the managment ladder at my job, taking on the hard discipline of a personal training regimen, etc....but I know that focusing my typically masculine-identified traits to help me accomplish goals will eventually give me the freedom to open myself up more to femininity.

For now I'll settle for being the slightly tomboyish, stratego-gal with the heart of gold. I think the right man will bring the softer side out of me one day, but it may be the result of being willing to expose his softer side to ME first! heheh Once again, AWESOME post.

[emmicd]

Marla,

I enjoyed reading your essay and find it refeshing getting your slant on being feminine and not initially embracing it as you have in later years.

I am happily married, a loving husband and father who has never lost site of my masculine side. However I do cherish the feminine side of my personality too and feel it is what makes me feel sensitive and empathetic to women. I do feel that women are very unique in that they endure childbirth and that is something a man could never experience. Though I will tell you that when I witnessed the birth of my son It was the most incredible thing I have experienced in my life. I was thrilled to see my wife cradle our son for the first time. Words simply can not express the emotions you feel.

I love women and I guess my cross dressing is a way of tapping that sensitive side and getting a glimpse into the female lifestyle.

I always will admire women and feel that my crossdressing is the sincerest form of flattery to all women.

Women shouldn't feel threatened by our cross dressing they should feel complemented by it.

I love my wife and son too much to hurt them. I just ask for a little understanding. The cross dressing to me just makes me feel more complete as a person.

Thank you.

Emmi

[Clare]

Oh how I wish you could meet my wife and let her know about the advantages of being a CD'ers SO!!!

You would save a lot of relationships, on both sides of the gender divide (CD's and GG's).

Loved you statement and can relate to it totally.

Christine

[Khriss]

well,,, ohh,- honesty, open dialogue, humor, and "spicey" hehe , sh*t I'm "IN",,, or kicked OUt,, ( not YET?)- hehe , I LUV- THIS PLACE- !!!!,, MY- "SISTERS" RULE" and contained- via-'Administrators' GREAT!!, onward -AND-- !!--as TRisten Might-say- I'm So excited! hehe -xxx"K"