Are we driven to 'out' ourselves?

[helenr]

I do pose a question here, so please plow through my typical paragraph. I have been on an anti-androgen, light dose (Estraderm 50 patch) regimen and am pleased. I don't have any intention of GRS, trying to present as a female in public, etc. I truly enjoy the demasculination that I have experienced-the nicest of which has been a greater calmness, serenity, loss of 'male tension' that was still present at age 60. now 62.
Winter and wearing a fleece sleeveless vest for warmth has hidden what clearly has resulted in some breast development. Not the glorious B or C cups I read others claiming, but modest A's. Clearly, warmer weather won't require this concealing garment and whatever I have as 'girls' will become more apparent-even with a short sleeve casual shirt-forget the T shirts!
I have wondered if for some complex reasons we are 'driven' to out ourselves-we feel the need to show outward evidence of what has been inside our minds for so long? Is this a common motivation behind developing breasts?

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I like to think of it as "gender deprivation anxiety"....we all cope with it differently, and you wanting to out yourself is part of it (i think:battingeyelashes:)

how bad you have it, how you decide to think of it when you are young, how the rest of your life is going, how you look (so unfair), etc....this all comes into how you grow as a tg person over your lifetime..

i have a alot of girlfriends and I've not met one that didnt enjoy having breasts...mine are still small, but they are MINE!!! ....finally...i wonder if you are feeling the same thing....

[Melissa A.]

I was told over and over, forever-"don't put your pic on the net unless you want to be outed, cause it'll happen". Well I took that to heart. I have pics here, in chatrooms, other forums, myspace, photobucket..... freaking everywhere! and still, I dont think anyone has found out! what does a girl have to do, take out TV time? :lol2:

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Leanne2]

I would like to "out" myself but that is a deal breaker for my wife. We live in a small town in the bible belt and she says we would be run out of town if news of my "condition" got out. Maybe she's right. I still go to church every Sunday that I am not working. I'm also another girl that loves my small breasts. I had to quit HRT after three months to keep them small. Leanne

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i look so different in pics...that even my mom didnt beleive it was me...

i've had pics online forever!!! of course only the 5 out of a thousand that i like!!!!! hehe

[morgan pure]

Yes, we are driven to "out" ourselves.

[helenr]

thanks for the comments. very complicated to try to understand our brains. Surely we are 'hard wired' from birth to be drawn to femininity as such a young age-before the usual bombardment of influences take hold.
Yes, I am fond of my girls. Ironically, when a small child and growing up, I had larger than 'average' nipples-now with the benefit of spiro, fincar, and now estraderm, they have spread to 1 1/4 inch wide areoles. This isn't a big deal when you regard GGs, but for a genetic male, that is a bit larger, I believe. Of course, when the cold water meets the girls, they shiver and shrink. I know I am nutty, but it is nice to have company! helen

[emily_21]

I think since most of us want to become female at some point, that the truth will come out eventually.

[marie rose]

Hi Helenr, I'm a few years older than you but have the same strong urge to out myself. My wife and I have discussed this many times and the plan is to take a holiday in Thailand and seek GRS. I believe once my body is changed to harmonize with my brain then I would be just another woman who prefers to wear men's clothes and the urge to out myself would subside. I hope this plan works because I don't want to take the chance of alienating my children and grandchildren by coming out to the world. Of course I would continue to live at home as my true self. BTW I wonder if anyone else has done or planned similar.

[Mary Lee]

I read on a web site that I got from a postng here that there are a lot of G-males that have had SRS/GRS that still present themselves as males. That they did not like there male genitals and wanted to have female genitals. Being 62 and divorced and not wanting a relationship maybe that is a good route for me.

[kristyk]

I look forward to the day I out myself I am scared of the day I out myself

that's pretty fun but well put for me

KristyK

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

except for skirts or dress's, I'd say I am outing myself everyday without being official. Right now I'm waiting for my first session with a gender therapist in a couple of weeks. I'm looking to start HRT therapy later this year, I've heard that being on hormones can help one decide whether one is Transsexual or not. If HRT makes me feel better or affirms my feelings about being transsexual, I would then out myself officially at work and go 24/7

I do agree that I have a strong desire to out myself and I wait now for someone to ask me about being transgendered. In fact I have a printout on my desk at work titled "Coming out as Transgender" in the hope that people see it and ask me questions. I know that several people have seen it, but have not asked anything yet.. :battingeyelashes:

[helenr]

many insightful remarks. I have never thought of GRS and then maintaining an outward masculine appearance. why not just an orchi from the Phila MD if you won't want to assume a female outward presentation? It is so weird to find oneself at one moment trying to conceal chest development, other times almost being brazen about it. naturally, in an anonymous setting, one is more inclined for the latter. It is with family and friends that it gets tricky!
I think at some level there is the hope that a sympathetic female might be friendly to this androgynous looking individual, maybe even attracted, but that is more fantasy that sadly may fuel part of this enigmatic behavior. I suspect I will go to my cremains without ever figuring this out. helen

[Melinda]

YES YES YES
I know I'm trying to out myself but lack the courage to do it proactively. An example, was staying at a condo with a bunch of buddies for a ski weekend. In the past I've let my leg and chest hair grow in before one of these trips. Stopped letting the chest hair grow a few years ago and now am showing up with legs shaved too. Also was out in shorts with them with legs shaved over the summer. Needless to say it's not exactly hidden at the hot tub. One of them brought his girlfriend who commented that my legs were better shaved than hers but not a single one of my friends said or asked anything. Add that to womens clothes and shoes and sometimes even makeup and/or breast forms at work and I can't deny the pattern here. Someday I suppose the hammer will fall and what will be will be...

[helenr]

Clearly we all seek approval and confirmation that we are OK. Hard when it seems in conflict to stereotypical looks and behavior. The lady shows the common greater self confidence about such matters-women are like that. Men never discuss anything personal, as a generalization, and don't know how to be relaxed with anything astray from their narrow guidelines. helenr

[Kayla Shadows]

I think its just a desire inside us to show people who really are.Something that confirms that the people we surround ourselves with are true friends.Its important to be who you are and its good to find out that there are people that accept you for all of you.It creates a whole new space for conversation and opens a door.Now you have someone that you can really talk about anything with.

[MarieTS]

I think there are basically two reasons for this. The first is over-confidence. As we learn to improve our feminine appearance and demeanor, we delude ourselves into believing we are invisible to society. In other words, we kid ourselves into thinking we appear the way we want to, not neccessarily the way we really appear. The second reason is what I refer to as hitting the saturation point. After awhile we just give up and take a risk. We almost don't care anymore because we hit that saturation point whereby we accept ourselves for who we really are and in the process throw caution to the winds.

[Empress Lainie]

Guess I am the odd one out on here. My idea of outing myself is letting someone know I am TS. Most places I go and most people I see don't know except for the ones I knew before my transition. I am always accepted as one of the girls and I must say I love it. I sometimes even feel guilty because I have had it so easy to be acceptable as a GG.

But I don't understand why I feel like outting myself to people I become friendly with. I sometimes wonder if it is a subconcious desire to brag, god forbid!

Like any teenage girl, I am proud of my boobs, and do tend to show off my cleavage.

And I am not one bit afraid to be the center of attention, I thrive on it.

[RachelDenise]

I think once you have accepted yourself, you want the world to see you as you see yourself. It's something like outing yourself. I prefer to think of it as sharing the real you with everybody else. If you don't accept yourself, then the outing part may well be disastrous. Let's not even get into family issues and whether they are involved, knowing and accepting of your femme side......