Women and TS prefer men and not CD or TV

[biannne]

Why is that both natural women and TS prefer masculine men over CD or TV. While many of the CD and TV prefers other CD, TV, TS or natural women. It is only on rare occasions that they prefer men.


To me this puts us (CD or TV) in a difficult situation. We want natural women or TS but yet natural women and TS prefer only men.

What does everyone else feel about this situation?

Are there any CDer who are now dating women or married to one.


Anna

[Leanne2]

I have been married for over 35 years to a beautiful woman. She knows about my "hobby" but does not want to see me dressed. I would love to share this side of my personality with her but she just doesn't get it. If I was born a GG I probably wouldn't get it either. So I respect her for that because I love her. I've never had romantic feelings for men but I respect those of us that do. Like Popeye says," I yam what I yam." Leanne

[Senban]

Where are you getting this from? Your post is kind of confusing!

I'm a probable TS (still under counselling/therapy to decide just how deep the rabbit hole goes) and about 90% heterosexual/10% bisexual if that makes some kind of sense? I can't stand "man men" and find them utterly repulsive. The only kind of men I find myself attracted to are effeminate men.

And yes, I'm dating a GG who knows and supports 100% as did the GG I dated before her. The GG before that I was with for fifteen years but she's a whole other story :p

Does that help answer your question?

[biannne]

No disrespect Senban, this from my personal experience in the last 10 years of my life.

Anna

[Rachel Morley]

Your statement is a little bit of a sweeping statement about people in general, but if your hypothesis is true then could it be that natural women and TS women are probably more likely to go for men because the majority of the population is straight? I know of several TS women that not only changed their gender but they also changed their sexual preference when they transitioned. Not all do this but some do. On the CD side of things everyone says the majority of CDers are straight and prefer women over men. I don't really know if what I'm saying makes any sense or not, but to me, it seems kinda normal that most (not all) women including some TS women, would want to be with a regular man and that a garden variety CDer would want to be with a natural woman. At the end of the day it's just the way you are wired isn't it? No matter what gender your partner is you either like that type of person or you don't? :strugglin:

[Senban]

No problem :)

We all have different experiences of course. Now that we know where you're coming from, it's a little easier to understand what you're getting at :hugs:

[RobynP]

To me this puts us (CD or TV) in a difficult situation. We want natural women or TS but yet natural women and TS prefer only men.


Anna,

Let's face it... Several researchers suggest that 1% to 5% of men are crossdressers. This puts us well outside the statistical bell curve of men's behaviors. This does not imply that there is anything wrong with crossdressing, just that it is unique.

Most women prefer men who are inside of the statistical bell curve. And us crossdressers probably prefer women who are inside of their statistical bell curve.

Our uniqueness makes for our difficult (but not impossible) situation...

Robyn P.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I detest men - I am only attracted to GGs - I would not want a sexual relationship with anyone other than a GG - as far as friends go, GGs and other CDers are fine

JoAnne Wheeler

[Stephanie Stephens]

What is this topic about?

[Karren H]

What is this topic about?

I think its about who you are or aren't supposed to like? But I could be wrong.. Depending on how you label yourself vs how others label you? I'm so confusde!!

[JessiRed]

If you could quantify and classify this sort of thing I doubt this board would exist, lol.

To each their own?

I did think for almost 5 years that I would spend my life alone because surely no GG would be interested in me, ALL of me. I was wrong and now I'm happily married.

Good Luck!

[Niya W]

In my experience the majority TS I know are bi. Few are ,married to CD's . Funny thing is over all most of the TG I know ( CD ,TS) rather be with a another TG . No need to explain things, you know what the deal us coming into the relationship. Far as GGs you just have to look.

I guess I must be doing some thing wrong because the majority of the TG's I know are Bi. Way higher then the general population.

[Kate Simmons]

I guess it basically comes down to a choice. Do we want to be men or do we want to be CD's? If we want both, compromise and trade off is the name of the game.:)

[Sally2005]

I don't know if the initial statement is true or not, but if I was deciding to have any type of relationship with anyone the first test is whether they are stable and responsible enough not to make my life unpleasant. So, given that someone may not know anything about CDers, the initial test may fail because a huge unknown exists vs. the stable appearance of someone who doesn't CD. A TS knows a heck of a lot, but maybe they would steer away because they want to forget the pain involved in their transition or they want to afirm their femininity.

[DawnRodgers]

It's all a head game - how we are brought up, how we've been brainwashed, relationships with friends and family. Most have been conditioned to the man/woman relationship. It certainly does have a certain simplicity. Propagates the human race. And over the centuries - well maost woman know how to get a man's attention, doesn't she? And dress is an important part of that. What says woman more than nylon covered legs, a skirt or dress, the figure, the click of her heels? And women know all to well what that does to men. So when we, as men, take on these attributes - the clothes and the jewelry and yes, men wear jewelry too but few with hopp earrings or beautiful solitaire diamonds and bangle beacelets, it is only natural that it appears that we are doing the same thing that women are doing - trying to get a man's attention. After all, few women are attracted to another well dressed woman. They may say, nice shoes, nice dress, where did you get that but a man says wow, nice body, look at those legs, love to neet that in the bedroom.
Yes, we are divided. Many are just attracted to the clothes, the ambience of being feminine. The feelings. Some of us are into the attracting men thing - we think that is the ultimate in femininity. And, of course, so says many around us. That's why homosexuality is so widely considered unnatural. Men are for women and women are for men. What does that make us? Some are just more compfortable being a woman for many reasons to numerous to go into. But whatever the reason, and there are many more that I haven't even touched on, we are what we are and I try to accept that as best I can. We can't make anyone be what we want them to be. To many brain cells involved to make that happen.

[MsJanessa]

Why is that both natural women and TS prefer masculine men over CD or TV. While many of the CD and TV prefers other CD, TV, TS or natural women. It is only on rare occasions that they prefer men.


To me this puts us (CD or TV) in a difficult situation. We want natural women or TS but yet natural women and TS prefer only men.

What does everyone else feel about this situation?

Are there any CDer who are now dating women or married to one.


Anna

Actually GGs don't necessarily prefer masculine men---some prefer women, some like TSs and TGs and some like feminine type males---and same with us TV/CDs--some like women, some like men, some like both and some like TSs or other TV/CDs---so don't assume that gender always equates to a certain sexuality

[Lisa Golightly]

I'm TS... I'm attracted to guys... I used to be attracted girls... Being CD wouldn't bother me... I tend to follow my heart.

[Susan Loves Life]

Ok, here's my opinion.

I am a MtF, married. My wife and I have talked about it and before I came out as transgender I was heterosexual and so was she. Now that I am living 24/7 as a woman and taking horemones, we have decidedf that even if I am never able to have SRS, that WE, both of us, are now lesbians. We are comfortable with that.

As for me, I think all men are ugly and would never want a sexual relationship with one.

Again, that's my own opinion.

Huggs to all :hugs::hugs:

Susan Elizabeth :):):)

[Desiree2bababe]

I'm celebrating 24 years of marriage yet sexually, while dressed, I prefer men.

[deja true]

No disrespect Senban, this from my personal experience in the last 10 years of my life.

Anna

Well, hunny even 10 years of your own experience ain't enough to put forward such a sweeping statement as fact. Especially as it's disproved by many here!

All Great Danes like liver. They don't eat chicken...

All Doberman's eat chicken. They can't stand liver...

All Pekinese eat only salmon and caviar and will not touch liver or chicken...

See what I'm saying? Just 'cause your Doberman won't eat liver, don't mean mine won't. ( Matter of fact he's bi and eats anything he can get his mouth on...the sl*t!)

Your experiences are all generated from who you know, where you hang out, and where you live. Maybe it's like that in your town...(MooseJaw, wasn't it?)...but it's not like that everywhere... Nuh-uh!

[Karen564]

Yeah, I couldn't say that any of the claims are an absolute truth, but I'd say their pretty close though, and not too far off tract.. except for many mtf TS folks seem to identify themselves more as BI or lesbians, but many change that too over time.

This seems it would of been a good time for a private poll, for very simple & basic answers without going into all the shades of gray of every aspect & getting all complicated..

An example of that poll would be,

What Do You Identify as: ONLY check off One answer in each part..

Part #1

GG.....

CD ......

MTF-TS.......

.................................................. .................................................
Part #2

What are you attracted to sexually the most? Only check ONE Answer.

Women.......

Men...........

Both/ALL (Bisexual) ...

CD/TV...........

MTF-TS..........

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

After that, just figure out the percentages...

[JoannaCaroline]

That's a little tongue in cheek. My wife's lesbian friends classified her as TriSexual because she is married to me. She can't just be Bi since she's married to a TG.

I've been married for several years after dating my wife for several years. She knew all about me on our first date. I've lived full time briefly but I switch back and forth now. She gets grumpy if she goes too long without seeing her wife. Quite honestly she would be happy if I would live full time permanently.

Also everyone I've dated in the previous 30 years of my life, knew. They were either attracted enough to me not to care or liked being with a TG. There was only 2 exceptions to that and one lady I shouldn't have ever started dating anyway.

Every time I hear the argument that GG's don't like TG's I'm a little baffled. I disagree completely. I think the women here who believe that are just hanging out with the wrong crowd of women (GG's)

[Sheila]

:sw:

Well I am a GG and I am dating A cdr ......... not just dating ......... we got engaged on Jan 17th and are getting married on Oct 21st .. so unless you know summat about me that I don't :worried: I am puzzled by your statement :strugglin

[suchacutie]

We just celebrated or 36th wedding aniversary. Since I only present as a woman for part of the time, I seem to fall into the CD category. It's true that I'm only interested in women...in fact in one woman! She seems pretty interested in me...well, interested in both of us as both gender presentations interest her!

I don't think I'm alone in this either.

tina

[Niya W]

All I can say is beeping part of this community has taught me not to buy into stereotypes.

[Senban]

Joannacaroline said - "Every time I hear the argument that GG's don't like TG's I'm a little baffled. I disagree completely. I think the women here who believe that are just hanging out with the wrong crowd of women (GG's) "

Just this last weekend, my GF and I went on a serious shoe shopping expedition for the whole day. She actually even commented that she loved being with someone who is always ready and willing for a girly shopping trip. This idea that GG don't like CD/TS or whatever just doesn't hold water in my personal experience although other people's mileage may vary of course.

[charlie]

Hello Biannne!
I too do not find your statement true. When I go out it is seemingly straight, young women that find me most interesting. Young GG's seem to find CD's interesting, and I get more hits from them then my TS friend (who I think is beautiful).

[Melanie R]

In my 29 years of being among thousands of CD's and TS's and GG's worldwide, I can say with some authority that there are many women who not only enjoy but prefer crossdressers. Other women in a relationship with a crossdresser may not be supportive and accepting but in time may learn to look beyond the clothing and love and accept the person.

[abundantly_me]

just wondering if it ever crossed your mind, that GG's like masculine men, as you say not CD's because they may feel intimidated ~ sexually speaking. Afraid that they will no longer be the women or somehow the whole sex senario gets twisted up and they don't want to be woman on woman, or to have that thought in their head, if he sees himself as a female does he see me as the male?. It (being in a relationship) with a crossdresser takes a lot of talking, and understanding. There is a lot of anxiety that seems to go in that territory, especially if you are not self confident of whom you are, and what your needs are. So lets face it, many GG's just don't want to because, frankly it's easier. And for those whom are lesbian, some may quite frankly not want the extra package that comes along with being ts if not fully transitioned.

Life is complicated, but I also think on here you will find many cd's whom are happily married to a gg, whether they be in the closet or not.

[Cheryl T]

As someone once told me...
"Too much man for the straights, too much woman for the gays"...

Guess that relates to women and TS's as well. We all have our preferences.

[Stephanie Kay]

Two words, "Well, duh!!"

Love,
Stephanie

[Lorileah]

back in the olden days of polls here there was a question about sexual preference. As I remember it was very close Bi/straight with straight having the advantage (something like 60/40) with about 1 or 2% totally gay.

This makes sense because gays like MEN. Not men who look like women (unless they need a beard) and I am sure that the 40 percent or so who said "bi" transitioned in most part to men while dressed (It's part of being a woman). We can pick that apart even more and ask if you prefer dykey women( more masculine) or effeminate males when dressed. As mentioned above about half the TS's I know decide to become lesbians after transitioning.

You say potayto I say patawto...lets call the whole thing off.

Here's my thought, when that question comes up (and it often does) it just represents an insecurity as to how one SHOULD act. Don't sweat it, if you like girls go with the girls, if you like men go with the men. You should act like YOU. As the song goes "you can't please everyone so you got to please yourself". Some people get tired of tacos.

[PaulaSF]

There's the ole saw about the three things a GG first thinks of, when confronted with the prospect that her formerly "all hetreo, all the time," guy in her life, shares with her that he's a CD:
1. He must be gay
2. She isn't gay, and doesn't want a gal presenting partner
3. She's not interested in "Power Exchange" (i.e., "role reversal")

There's also a jealousy bit, if the CD looks better, en femme, than her ;-)


Amongst the more experienced & out t-gals (and I've come across hundreds, down the decades), there seems to be two main "camps," those that are strictly into GGs (and this tends to be, for better, or worse, almost of biblical consequence amongst organized groups and many of the store front operations catering to the t-community, as well as a big part of the "upholstered closet" TG support groups, if one isn't a transitioning TS, whereupon dating guys is "OK" since still "str8" ;-)

The second main camp, is the t-gals that want to date guys. Here one might consider this almost a "third-sex" with aspects of both straight & gay, but clearly not so black & white. To me, I feel the two main reasons are having a guy as a "beard" for easing blending/passability, as well as, often mistakenly, to my mind, that the affections & interests of the fellas, affirms her desirabilty & femininity (tho, frankly, think its simply an effective "conquest" tool, for the most part!).

I seek to date other t-gals, but by far, the vast majority of t-gals I socialize with, remain platonic friends, for the two reasons, mentioned above... I self-identify as a lipstick t-lesbian, for lack of a better way at conveying where I perceive I fit it, with the femme side of myself.

And don't forget that there isn't an inherent pairing of gender & sexuality- that's a frequently overlooked, biggie, me thinks!

cheers,
Paula

[kellycan27]

Being TG myself. I'll take a big strong masculine man over a CD,TS, or GG anytime. To me it's sexual preference (mine) I can't speak for the others. I want to be a girl,not be with a girl or someone else who wants to be a girl, or even someone who just wants to dress as a girl. Masculine men make me feel more feminine. feminine guys do nothing for me. How about this? Why do the majority of men prefer GG's over cd's,ts's,tg's.

[Stephanie Stephens]

CD, BI, TG, MtF, MFer, who likes; GG, GM, GMC, S&M (not), SRS, & FFS. Want to get rid of; GRD, BPH, and one slightly used B&D.
By by, SS:heehee:

[Laura_Stephens]

As others have pointed out, there are all kinds of people all with varying aspects of who they are.

I am a crossdresser, but would be a GG if I had the choice. With that said, it is beyond me what anyone, male or female, sees in men. Even if born a GG, I am sure that I would still be attacted to women.

And yes, I am unlike anyone else and others see the world differently than me.

[Toni_Lynn]

I appreciate the fact that everyone is different and that preferences are whatthey are. I do however feel that as a CDer the door is slammed way before any truth about us is known. Its as if there is a pre-defined prejudice, a judgement passed, way before the actual person is known. I think that there are many good reasons for this, among them being the general public's perception of who we are based up the more out-front members of the 'gender' community. I won't go into it, as my feelings have been voiced here before, but the public definition of who and what we are is based on the visible minority that are individuals such as RuPaul et al, rather than the gathered assembly or even the less visible but none the less public figures such as Wendy Carlos and Jan Morris.

That said, my wife got to know me as a good and loving guy, before I came out to her. Timing is everything and one can't wait too long to come out, though. She recognised that I am same human being no matter what I am wearing. She saw the 'value add' that me being a CDer brought forth to all aspects of our life. As she has said, if women knew how wonderful it was having a CDer as husband or boyfriend, the we'd be a hot commodity, because with us you get 100% of the person in addition to a person who brings a fullness and romantic closeness second to none.

I suppose all we can hope and pray for is that we are given a chance and not pre-judged.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Sheila]

she has said, if women knew how wonderful it was having a CDer as husband or boyfriend, the we'd be a hot commodity, because with us you get 100% of the person in addition to a person who brings a fullness and romantic closeness second to none.Huggles
Toni-Lynn

unfortunately Toni not all of us get a 100% of the person even when we know, not all of us get the "fullness and romantic closeness second to none" in a cding relationship .............. some get a self centred a$$ concerned only with their wants needs and desires .............. having said that the A$$ was there all along and cannot be blamed on cding, but not all cDR's are caring copmpassionate peeps ...... just like not all us GG's are either

Edited to ADD .................... I was talking about my Ex and some other CDR's I know, not my wonderful Debs

[TGMarla]

I pretty much agree with what Rachel and Leanne said. As for me, I've never been attracted to men, even when en femme. However, I find myself often wondering what it would be like to actually be a woman. I think that had I been female rather than male, I'd likely prefer men. If I were a woman, I could see myself with a man. But as a man, I can only imagine myself with women. And as a husband, I'm sticking with my wife, and only my wife.

[Toni_Lynn]

unfortunately Toni not all of us get a 100% of the person even when we know ...

some get a self centred a$$ concerned only with their wants needs and desires ...

but not all cDR's are caring copmpassionate peeps ...... just like not all us GG's are either

Point well taken Shiela, and I agree 100%. I have known some CDers who for whom the s$$-holiness within is magnified when they CD. *sigh*

I will never forget the one CDer who left his SO/ wife sitting by herself at a group meeting while he went off for girl talk. She looked so sad and forlorn.

We are all different, but it is true that the different-ness is sometimes in a bad way.

I guess in my cause I longed so much for love, not only to love but to be loved that I said I could never abuse or take advantage of any love accepts me as I am. and to find that love, I have to 100% truthful in all that I am. And that is what I am to my beautiful wife, Debbie.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[sometimes_miss]

Two words, "Well, duh!
Definitely +1

[Alice Torn]

In my almost 55 yrs of singleness, I have striven to be a gentleman, but only a few gg's have gotten to know me. The ones i have asked what they think of cd, all said they did not think much of it. It has been harder than pulling hen's teeth, to earn a gg's trust, enough, to have date once every several years, without telling them about cding. For me, it seems it would make it next to impossible. GG's I know, have been burned too many times, and don't want to go out, even as friends. They've had enough of men.

[denns61]

OK, it should be easy for me to get in trouble with this one. After all as an admirerer I'm just sort of a half welcome visitor anyway.

So when I discovered as a young boy that I was fascinated with women's lingerie and even enjoyed trying it on it was a cause of joy but also shame. How could I be into such a thing. Still I remember playing in all of my girlfriend's and wife's lingerie from 18 to 30+ with no thought of being with another cd much less a man. I would have loved to played with my girlfriends or wifes while dressed but the few times I bought that up it wasn't a go. By my mid 30's however(still no internet) I've started fantasizing being with another cd while I was dressed. Tried a few hookups though contact magazines but that didn't happen. Finally just a few years ago it happened and I met a beautiful tgirl. We both dressed and we had so much fun together.

In the meantime I'm this middle aged guy who loves to work out. No Charles Atlas, but a hairy big guy(gross huh??). I quit dressing, because I enjoy being with a tgirl more than I enjoy dressing itself.

So sexually I prefer women and even more so cute tv's cd's, tgirls(names, names, names). Still I'm pretty bi and who's to say the right guy couldn't seduce me.

My point is I think sexuality is varied and can change. In my case I think I've always been bi, but growing up redneck even thoughts of bisexuality were too taboo.

I wonder how many of us live the sexuality that's expected of us instead of what we'd want for ourselves.

[kellycan27]

Could the deck have been a little loaded at a "crossdresser weekend" ?

[kellycan27]

A guy in a dress does nothing for me. I understand it, I am ok with it, I accept the fact,I understand the motivation, but I wouldn't want my SO to be a crossdresser.

[Kelsy]

Actually GGs don't necessarily prefer masculine men---some prefer women, some like TSs and TGs and some like feminine type males---and same with us TV/CDs--some like women, some like men, some like both and some like TSs or other TV/CDs---so don't assume that gender always equates to a certain sexuality

My wife likes feminine men - thats how she found me:D Three out of her last four bfs were CD and she has tons of gay male friends as well! you cannot assume that all ggs want masculine men. My last dear gf was attracted to my masculine side but when she discovered I was a CD she was very supportive! I find women to be for the most part much more understanding and accepting

Kelsy:daydreaming:

[kellycan27]

I guess if you have one GG that likes CD'ers you could say that the theory that real GG's don't like CD's is blown, But what I believe the poster is getting at is that he feels that the majority of GG's would not prefer a cd'er as a SO.
Seven gg's... seven examples to prove the theory wrong.
The traits that you mention in the survey.. strong hands,funny,nice eyes,a neat bottom etc. all desireable by GG's ,then add crossdresser into the mix and see how many would say yes?
If you took a simular survey here, the number of accepting GG's or gg's that like (for lack of a better word) cder's would be higher, but just as in a "crossdresser weekend" the deck would probably be a little stacked in favor.
take the same survey in a more nuetral setting, add cross dressing in the desireable trait list and I think the result would show differently.
The question isn't addressing desireable traits...it is addressing crossdressers.
simply put... Do the majority of GG's prefer non crossdressers over crossdressers? I believe that that statement is true.

[MissConstrued]

Why is that both natural women and TS prefer masculine men over CD or TV.


Who says I can't be masculine? How does the fact that I dress like a girl now and then affect my masculinity? Sure, women like masculine men. As far as they're concerned, I fit the bill, and my extra wardrobe is irrelevant. It might help that I don't make a big deal about it, and show not the least bit of shame.

I don't see crossdressing and masculinity as mutually exclusive.



Are there any CDer who are now dating women or married to one.


Dating, yes. They know. Not a one has complained about my lack of body hair... the most upset reaction I've gotten is "skinny bitch! They don't make those in my size!" referring to my VS underwear. :) My masculinity is never called into question.

It's quite clear to me. Women don't have a problem with men who wear women's clothes. They have a problem with men being effeminate. Effeminate men are not attractive to women, whether they crossdress or not.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

[MarinaTwelve200]

A LOT of this CD/TS HS stuff is confusing as much of it makes little logical sense in the light of current definitions.

It does not make sense for Homosexuals to CD, for example, but a heck of a lot of them do---arent they supposed to be attracted and want to attract guys of the same sex/sexuality? looking like a female would be a turn off to a HS guy---but still????

I can understand why (susposedly) most CDs are straight---but many say they want to be women or are attracted to guys when in CD mode.

Personally I am a straight cder and have no interest in other guys. I like to think I know all the definitions and variants, but still I think everybody is missing something in the reality. more is going on than has been defined so far.

[kellycan27]

I think that in this thread masculine is being used in the wrong context to an extent. crossdressers whether masculine or feminine is the question. masculine being used as a descriptive for a non-crossdresser
Why are GG' attracted more to men who don't cd vs men who do.There are no doubt many masculine crossdressers.

[Mrs. X (gg)]

Hi hun...

Im a GG in love of a str8 CDer. Not that I fell in love because of the CDing, I fell in love of a male who happens to like CDing. He won't engage in any sexual situation with another male or a CDer, just "natural women".

Straight females are attracted to straight males and backwards. Bi-sexual, have their preference and so do homosexuals, it's not linked to the fact that you're TS TG TV/CD it has to do more with your individuality as a human being and likes or deslikes, what turns you on and what doesn't...a matter of the mind and preference whether you are able to CD or not.

When it comes to sexual orientation or preference or fantasies, as there are people in this world there are possibilities.

Remember...gender issues, personality dimension and sexuality don't have to be necessary linked.

[kellycan27]

I was way into this thing before sexuality was an issue. I have always felt like I am a female, so my natural instinct (if you will) gravitated towards men.
I am not in any way,shape or form attracted to a woman (sexually).
So i would think that it stands to reason that I wouldn't be attracted to a man... dressed as a woman.... to MY way of thinking anyway.a guy may have a lot of desireable traits,and be a great guy, but the CD thing would be a deal breaker for me. I am not attracted to females..even part time. Be accepting? I don't want to have to compromise my happiness or my comfort. I don't want to feel uncomfortable having to accept something I have no desire for. Relationships are hard enough without throwing another point of contention into the mix. I have absolutely nothing against crossdressers, live and let live, just not my thing. Am i shallow? Is it all about me? maybe so. But Iam honest and straight foreward..... there's only room for one $@*&# in this house and you're looking at her buster.
By the same token I am not getting my panties in a bunch because "Most" heterosexual men prefer GG's over TS's.