Do you ever feel like your a freak show

[StephanieT]

Today I had an opportunity to be dressed and go out shopping. It was a good day and I even had a GG say hi to me in the Kohls parking lot as a friendly gesture. I needed some groceries so I went to the Grocery store. I ran into a Mom and her 2 daughters. The first time I went by they just stared. It seems like I ran into them on every isle and they kept staring. I tried waiting for a while in one isle but I still ran into them on the next few isles. I felt so uncomfortable. I know it is to be expected but I hate it when this happens.

[Teri Jean]

Sometimes people can be cruel and then some do not know what to think or say. It must have been the same when women started to wear pants. Don't worry about it and be careful. Keli

[dilane]

Sorry you had a bad time. Rude people are tough to take.

One of my more confrontational friends would have simply stared them down.

I usually either 1) Smile, or 2) Leave.

The quick smile often works on women pretty even if they're positive they've clocked you. It throws them off to have you respond in the usual female friendly way. However, it's hard to do when you're on your heels.

-- Diane

[Karren H]

Nope.... I never feel that way.....

[trannie T]

As a 300 pound 6'3" 60 year old in a dress I am amazed when people are not staring at me. Does it stop me from going out? Hell no.

[StephanieT]

Does it stop me from going out? Hell no.

It won't stop me from going out. It is just an uncomfortable part of being a CD. Most of the time, I just have fun.:D

[gennee]

I remember a woman tried to stare me down whle I dined with friends. I just kept on enjoying myself.

Gennee


:)

[joann07]

I don't let anyone make me feel uncomfortable when I'm out.
I'm always smiling and very friendly with anyone I encounter.

Every once in a blue moon I can sense someone looking at me with that typical stare, but I just go about my business and act like I don't see them at all. If I'm not doing any harm to them, or anyone, why should they care?

Hugs!

[Krystyna_Marie]

I don't have to go out and get pinched for me to feel like a freak show. Sometimes I feel that way all by myself :sad:

Most of the time I'm fine, but other times I feel like there's no one else in the world who thinks the way I do . . . but then I come here, and to Lauras-Playground, and I'm among friends again, and I feel much, much better and less isolated!

Kisses- KM

[Tina B.]

That's the kind of thing that keeps a lot of us in the closet, be proud of yourself, for not letting them keep you there.
Tina

[Nicole Erin]

Sometimes I do, like if I am wearing my high heel sandals and someone is staring at my feet.


Nope.... I never feel that way.....

Not even when buying sandpaper to do your legs? :heehee:

[vikki2020]

Nothing you can do about the way some people react,but think of all the others you ran into that reacted positively, like the lady in the parking lot! If your out enough, your going to run into a few goofs now and then.

[docrobbysherry]

Then, I stopped wearing my contacts when I dress,
I started looking a LOT LESS LIKE A CD, and more like a woman! And the uncomfortable feeling went away!:)

[marny]

Wondering how old u r stephanie? Past 50 most of us don't give a flying f___! what anybody thinks!

[Lisa Golightly]

Oh I often get the jitters... which is not too good for someone in my position... It tends to happen when I'm 'too' conscious of myself... It can be as innocent as thinking I look too masculine in the mirror that morning and then it just keeps impacting during the day...

If someone just treats me male, or uses a male title out of the blue on a positive day I'll either *sigh* and roll my eyes... or feel my anger go from zero to boiling point in a nano second... Which I have to control as they wouldn't like me when I'm angry... I think my handbag must weigh at least 30lbs :)

[Persephone]

I don't let anyone make me feel uncomfortable when I'm out. I'm always smiling and very friendly with anyone I encounter.

Every once in a blue moon I can sense someone looking at me with that typical stare, but I just go about my business and act like I don't see them at all. If I'm not doing any harm to them or anyone why should they care?

:iagree: Totally!

[Jess_cd32]

I don't think they meant to be intentionally cruel or anything, they were probably just curious about you. How often do you think they (the kids) see a cd in their lives, this may have been their first. If Mom wasn't there I bet the kids would have asked some funny and interesting questions and had a look of amazement on their faces:)

Now I probably don't even want to know what Mom said to them later on:doh:, could be wrong though.

[Kate Simmons]

Most people don't have the guts to bare their feelings openly and wear them like a garment or wear their heart on their sleeve so to speak, we do. Besides, I never assume anyone else is any better or worse than me. The old sayings about pointing a finger with three pointing back and the pot calling the kettle black apply. Hold your head up and be proud of who you are as a good friend of mine likes to say.:)

[Michelle_Tokyo]

I have felt this way yes. I nearly bumped into a young couple at the front desk at the hotel where I was staying, lost my poise and made a very unladylike near fall. This drew their gaze and they realized I was not a real woman and started laughing. It hurt. I wanted to cry. But I held my head high and proceeded to the hotel bar. Had a drink and soon another lady came and sat near me and at one point complimented me on my necklace. It erased entirely the prior bad moment. There will be times ladies, but be strong and be graceful.

Michelle

[JoAnne Wheeler]

NO - not anymore - I really don't care what people say and think - I am who I am - I can not change it - I do not bring it up out of respect to my Spouse, my family, my co-workers and my social contacts - HOWEVER, if it does come up, I will tell them the TRUTH

JoAnne Wheeler

[valenstein]

It is uncomfortable. I do think that some people who stare are not trying to be cruel, it's human curiousity. I've read here how many of us have said we've never seen another CD while shopping, and we are certainly more aware of it. People know about it and have maybe seen someone on tv, but never in real life. I have had to check myself when I've seen someone out of the ordinary, and then it becomes, "don't stare, but don't purposely avoid looking at them either". Sometimes I end up staring at a unique person because I think they are really interesting in a good way.

There will always be those who laugh or stare judgementally, but I have to agree with examples of other replies, somebody out of the bunch will find you interesting, and it more than makes up for the bad.

[Karen Francis]

You engaged the enemy at 12:00 high. You didn't say their ages, but safe to say anywhere from 5-15 years old is the toughest crowd you will ever encounter. They will read any one of us in a heartbeat, and react openly.

That said, are you going to mold your life to the expectations of immature girls who are no where near comfortable in their own skin, and may never be?

Indeed there are a lot of "adults" that don't understand what we are trying to accomplish here. Society buries the idea of gender so deeply and so soon ( the moment you are born) that to try go against the tide is gutsy.

Freak show, not on your life. Any more than a lone african american person in a lilly white suburban neighborhood shopping mall. Stand proud, accept the idea that we are good people with an extra dimension, blessed or cursed with a brain that has 2 genders when most people have only one. Or one gender that doesn't happen to match what is about 30" below our head.

[Kelli Michelle]

I have found young girls seem to notice things a lot more than their moms or dads. They were probably bored and looking for something different. Hopefully, this experience will give their moms a chance to educate them (one can hope).

Myself, i do feel self-conscious occasionally, and get nervous. But once I am out there, no way am I gonna let anyone spoil my time.

Please don't let them throw you off. When you think about it, the number of people that are rude like that, is small. The vast majority are too busy to even see you, and if so to make a comment. Heck even ggs get stared at for one reason or another (skirt too short, looking unkempt, whatever). They just take it in stride cause those kind of things are rare, as I would assume with you getting stared at.

Have fun, and hang in there.

[trisha59]

Maybe they were just jealous of how good you looked.

[Tess]

Young kids are curious. When they see something out of the ordinary they stare. My SO has an obvious medical condition which draws attention because it is rare. Kids stare at her and so do unthinking adults. It certainly isn't comfortable for her but she has learned to ignore it rather than live a sheltered existence.

[Christina Horton]

No NEVER Why?:hugs: :canada:

[Kerrie Sifton]

Well if you are seeing them on each aisle and they are obviously noticing you... how about direct action... a friendly hello and how are you three doing today...
maybe they thought you might have been the girls father and were just checking you out? lol

[LeslieBird]

I get that sometimes, and hate it. Other times I feel accepted completely -- maybe passing or maybe people don't care. But the thing is I can never tell what reaction I will get.

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

The very first time I went out dressed in the daytime, I felt paranoid. I was sure that everybody saw me as a freak. Then I stepped back into the closet, rethought my passability, worked very hard on my presentation and then started again.

When I started going out again, I still felt paranoid but within the first couple of dozen outings, I realised that almost nobody took any notice at all.

I subsequently realised that I'm more uncomfortable shopping for femme things while in boy mode. That's now when I feel like I'm being looked at as a freak.

The overall result is that I'm now far more comfortable going out shopping dressed than in boy mode.

Alice

[foxxigirlxoxo]

I'm a young cd that has been working very hard on my wardrobe after several purges, and still don't have a decent wig. Tonight I was driving around and said what the hell, I'm going out. I pulled into a rest-stop/market that is open 24 hours and just got out of my car and smoked a cigarette. I passed a few people that surprisingly didn't even give me a second look. then when sitting on a bench wearing knee high boots, a denim skirt, and a cute little top, I was startled by a man in his late 20's and I instantly panicked that he was going to beat me to a pulp because I looked like a freak. He hit on me! and not a creapy come on either! it was incredible. So I guess my point is even when you think people are looking at you like a freak, you can be very surprised....

After that I decided to get really "ballsy" and put on my halloween costume which is a very sexy Snow White with a corseted top, short short skirt and 5" knee high red patent boots and went in to buy a drink... luckily it's 2 days after Mardi Gras and people actually didn't look too shocked by my outfit. Sorry for the novel, it was just amazing and I have no one to tell since I'm hidden way back in the closet. So I posted.

[SammyCD]

Hi everyone..you will have to excuse any Forum Rules that I break as I am still a newbie to posting on forums -

It makes me so angry that we are made fun of, laughed , ridculed, sometimes almost treated like medeival lepers !! just because we look different.

A girl can wear a guys track suit, sweatshirt, suit etc and no-one cares in fact quite the opposite...''The latest thing from Paris'' - a boiler suit!


Just because we want to dress ''different'' wear something nice, comfortable, that feels good and not the usual heavy clothes, thick jumpers, t-shirts etc

We are supposed to be a modern society???? Look at the change in attitude to lesbian and gay people?????

We are supposed to be a diverse world where everyone is equal and treated on equal terms.

So why cant I go to my local ASDA/WALMART store without being stared at??

Why cant I go into La Senza and ask to be measured without sniggers from the teenage staff??

''Look that Guy over there is wearing womens fitness pants and trainers (sneakers) and a vest top '' I am wearing them because they are comforatable, cheaper and the sneakers are mens Sketchers that look like a womens shoe and its 80 degress outside !!!

WE ARE HUMAN AND HAVE FEELINGS !!!!!!!

[tamarav]

Sorry for your encounter with such rude people.

Many years ago I met a Drag Queen who carried a magic marker and some 8x10 photos of herself. when she go confronted by people like that she just whipped out a picture, autographed it, and handed it to the open-mouthed gawker.

She told me to always act like the star, people were privledged to see me. To this day, I just smile and nod or wave and go on. Haven't gotten to the point of carrying photos and autographing them yet....

[SammyCD]

Welcome to the site, Sammy.

I think I've spotted your mistake -- you're dressing like a girl from Yorkshire who shops at Wallmart. Now, try dressing like a girl from London who shops at Dior. Then if people do stare at you, you'll know it's because you're gorgeous.

I cant always wear Dior...sometimes just need chill out:D

[KateSpade83]

Be careful! There are "possessed" people out there who can always sense a man in drag, even if you are the most beautiful crossdresser!

[Tina B.]

Sorry Sammy, but where I come from even a gay person will get stared at if he/she is not dressed like the rest of the people around them, Or teen boys with purple Mohawks, or over weight girls with to much skin showing. Life can get drab and boring when every things the same, so anything different is fun and exciting, to look at, or talk about, that's just life.
If you are going out, you just have to get tough enough to say I don't care, because a man in a dress is different, and somebody is going to notice. The only control you have is how you react to it.
Tina
Being the sensitive type, I choose to be a house plant, and stay indoors!

[AKAMichelle]

Being different always attracts attention. I still feel uncomfortable when young children are around. I never want to cause a problem for them.