Not ready for prime time

[carson]

First off, as a long time closet CD, I must say my spirit has been lifted by the support and comraderie I feel here. And because of my own fears and continued (but lessening) anxiety, I get a vicarious thrill from reading about those making their first attempts at showing themselves in public. So here's my story - it's sad but true. Maybe it will even give some humorous perspective for anyone who feels their first attempt at "revealing" themself has fizzled. Ok, here we go. I just received some skirts I had ordered online (nice and anonymous, yes?) But one didn't fit and being confused about why, I felt a call to customer service was in order instead of just sending it back for an exchange (exchange for what size?) Of course, this meant being a man talking (inevitably) to a female rep. about skirts and sizes. Oh boy. Well, "Jill" was very courteous as I explained that the skirt did not fit (I didn't say ME specifically - strike one.) Jill and I resolved what the proper size would be for a 36 waist, but she keep referring to the potential wearer as "she/her." As in "What size is HER waist? Would SHE like another color? Now, it just occured to me that maybe Jill was savvy enough to know the skirts were for me and was just being politic. I just assumed she figured we were probably talking about my wife. Anyway, that's irrelevent. The point is, I had the perfect opportunity to open up and reveal myself in a completely safe environment and I blew it. I chickened out. I kept responding with things like, "Ah, we're talking about a 36 waist." "No, I don't think we want any other color." I went over the conversation several times in my head before placing the call and my intentions were to say things like. "Listen, I bought this skirt in a 20 and it doesn't fit ME quite right. I have a 36 waist, what do you suggest? No, I don't think I want another color today, but thanks. You see the difference? I blew it. What could be safer than talking to a customer service rep over the phone? I read somewhere that smart retailers realize that close to 30% of their women's clothing sales are made by men (for themselves.) Jill probably did know anyway. So, am I ready for a walk around the block? A drive in the car? A night of clubbing? I think I'll just sit home alone by the phone. :cry:
Carson

[JoAnnDallas]

I bought my wig online and after i got it I had a couple of question. I'm sure the owner of the wig shop knew it was for me, she included a hand written note with itsaying if I had any questions to email her. SHe addressed the note to "Dear Girlfriend". I emailed her my questions and got a really nice reply back. She said over 90% of her wigs are sold to TG's.

[Fallen Angel]

there are many transgender links here on the forum. also lots of well established companies on e-bay also have a sizing chart to cross from male to female sizes hope in some way this helps xx

[Melissa A.]

Maybe your'e not ready to be out there yet. So what? Don't sweat it. If the desire is there, eventually you will overcome your fears. At some point, you may need to push the envelope, or get outside your comfort zone, if this is something you really want to do, carson. No reason to push too far, too fast, though. I am amazed at the things that used to worry me that are insignifigant today. But stuff happens over time. Push yourself in small steps, and you will get there.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[carson]

Thanks for the info and support, girls. It all helps. Just interacting w/other CD'ers online is a first for me and is proving to be a great experience! :)

Carson

[Holly]

Hi Carson,

Honey, you'll know when you're ready. And like Melissa said, things that seem overwhelming now will become second nature to you in due time. In the meanwhile, HAVE FUN, GIRL!

[carson]

Thanks Holly,

I'm going to try to just relax, let things happen and enjoy the ride. But if lipstick does equal confidence...I might as well just camp out at the Revlon counter. I need it!

[cindybarnes]

Carson, I wouldnt worry about talking with a sales rep in a 3rd person kinda way.
I have been out a bunch in the last 3 years or so, but will do the same thing in a heartbeat !
Just because I accept who I am doesnt mean I have to offer details to anyone while buying clothes, you did good just to call and discuss measurments.
One thing I have learned is to buy things like skirts here localy so I get them right away, and if they dont fit when I get home I can return them the next day,,,,, If I can wait that long :)
Have fun !!
Cindy

[carson]

Hey Cindy,
Thanks for the pat on the back. :)

Carson

[GypsyKaren]

There is no cd law that says"Thou shalt come out to sales-clerks", so relax. Melissa is right, when and if the time comes you'll know it, if it never does that's fine too. There is nothing wrong with staying in the closet. In time you may decide to come out, but it should be on your terms and conditions, not someone giving you a hard time on the phone. And a lot of baby steps will get you a long way.
GypsyKaren

[carson]

Goo goo, ga ga. Look Mama, I'm toddling...splat! :eek:

Seriously, Thanks GypsyKaren. Everybody's turnin' my frown upside down. :)

Carson