Do you worry about hate crimes?

[Alayna]

I was talking with a friend the other day about dressing and it made me think twice about being "too" open about it. I don't go around advertising it, but I don't lie about it either. I just tell people close to me or when the situation dictates.

It really started to dawn on me when I thought about the nature of my job. I work in a grocery store that is essentially the community hub for at least 6 isolated mountain towns and communities - actually the busiest store in the district, probably the country.

Some of these people are just how you might imagine them: Super patriotic, monster truck-driving, survivalists who can be VERY conservative. It's not uncommon to see a huge Dodge Ram with a lift kit sporting two full-sized flags mounted to the bed. Of course one is "Ol' Glory" and the other is confederate. Not all of them are like this of course, but it's an extreme I'll never get used to after spending 6 years in Boulder, CO.

Being the center of a large and spread out community, news, gossip and rumours fly through that place faster than sound! So after putting all this together I started to realize that a Matthew Shephard type of situation wouldn't be out of the question.

Chances are nothing remotely close to that would happen, but that doesn't mean it couldn't. It's really the first time I've worried about my safety because of who I am - as opposed to dangerous situations I may put myself in. It was quite an alienating and eye-opening feeling. I suppose it doesn't really change how I live my life, but it does make me cautious about people knowing that side of me in a way I haven't felt since before I opened up. However now it's for my phyesical well-being instead of emotional.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of thing? Does it change how you live your life at all?

[Sharon]

I'm a member of a support group that monitors any attacks concerning the GLBT community, but, honestly, this hasn't been a concern of mine when I venture out. My only fear has been the fear of embarrassment and ridicule, which, strangely, effects me much more than physical pain.

[bikebuster77]

for me...hate crimes arent an issue...because im a black belt in tae kwon do...and i know how to kick butt....but no they arent an issue for me...Sorry if i came across as a femme fatale...

Sarah

[Katie Ashe]

Closeted: My main Reasons
1: My family is not understanding / work environment
2: Ridiculed by Ignorant People
3: Hate crimes

It hurts my feelings everyday, I don't want to be like the guy next door. Current TV shows are changing how people think, sorta... My day will come.

Katie

[CharleneCD]

It is always in the back of my mind as I go out. I try to make sure I go to places where I should be safe. No dressing at Monster truck pulls.

[azure]

reality check, all the unarmed combat skills etc are not going to protect you from the ways in which a community can turn against one they see as deviant. We are not deviant, however a community has a habit of focusing and attibuting and also projecting its frustrations and anger upon an individual.Also, there as often can happen, witch hunts enable people to "air" their grieviances. Believe me, going around having to look over your shoulder 24/7 with no one to watch your 6 is a very very lonley and frightening existence. fighiting skills might save you in a contact on a street corner at night IF your lucky, but you need a will that is made of titanum to face the sort of malicious small minded sick opinions and actions of people with WAY too much time on thier hands. Im not wafflling I am speaking from experience. However No. 2 ...we need to have around us friends we can trust, and love us for who we are, we need to believe in our selves and us a bit of grey matter to assess whether we compromise ourselves. Yes I am externalising alot of what I have experienced and talking in a roundabout way about myself. When I see girls like us leaving a nightclub dressed I think "wow shes got real guts" because I know that there are morons (who happen to be very intelligent but use their intelligence to be sly and malicious) that lurk out of view gathering little bits of information like number plates, patterns of behaviour, days n times, associates, ironcally its these morons who are very very far inside their own closets etc. My attitude is dont give them the satisfaction.
Sorry to be so negative.

[melody]

I don't fear the attackers anymore, I fear the fear itself. That sounds so bloody cliched but yeah. I used to carry around an item I could use as a weapon against people attacking me. I got a little desperate against their attacks. (I never did use it though, it just lets me be a little less fearful for my safety) This was mainly due to the fact that I was rather socially akward and still am as well as the fact that I'm a CD. The fact that a rational man is brought to take such actions just makes me mad. I no longer wan't to defend the attacks (for a multitude of reasons) mostly due to the fact that I don't want to become a tyrant that they are like. I don't want to lower myself to that level, I rather be a bloody mess than to hurt someone other than myself.
So after all that rambling I just wanna say, don't worry about what others think, you're better than they are if they think the worse of you. By them doing anything to you, it is just confirmation that you are a more beautiful and unique being than they will ever be or perhaps ever have the pleasure of knowing.

I hope this makes some sense to some people out there in cyberspace.

[Tristen Cox]

for me...hate crimes arent an issue...because im a black belt in tae kwon do...and i know how to kick butt....but no they arent an issue for me...Sorry if i came across as a femme fatale...

Sarah
Wouldn't do very much against a bullet would it.

[Ariel]

Yes, I still do worry bout hate crimes. I haven't heard too many recently in my area, fortunetly, but they do exist. I havent ventured out dressed, yet, and not sure if I will ever get the chance (has to do with my wife), but if I do, I will do my best to try to avoid being a "hate crime" statistic. Besides, I am alergic to pain. LOL


Hugs,
Ariel

[Wendy me]

carefully planed trips and watching who's around but if something ever happened we always got one of "his" toys 9mm................

[DonnaT]

No, I don't worry about them. Never have. My wife, however, worries about it a lot.

[bikebuster77]

Wouldn't do very much against a bullet would it.



Maybe Not.....But I would Die Not Afraid...And I do have willpower thats made of titanium.

[Priscilla1018]

I am always aware of my surroundings and I always carry my .45.I also do not go out dressed(the whole beard thing would look pretty ridiculous).

[Tristen Cox]

Maybe Not.....But I would Die Not Afraid...And I do have willpower thats made of titanium.
Well I would rather live. A good way to do that it stay in public view, 'around a crowd'. Where others have full view of you. Not (per se)walking down a dark street and/or in a bad neighborhood, especially at night. That's asking for trouble IMHO.

[Stlalice]

Does the possibility of being a victim of a hate crime worry me ? Maybe a little - about as much as I would worry about being struck by lightning. If you are a transwoman as I am you have to be aware of your surroundings and not take dumb chances/risks. But so does every woman trans or not. If you stick to "safe" areas - shopping malls, busy streets, places with other people around you should be fairly safe. Learn to think like a woman out alone and use some judgement about avoiding risky situations. Just try to avoid doing something dumb just to be doing something. Remember to put your brain in gear before you go out - be safe and careful out there ! :D :D

[Alayna]

If you stick to "safe" areas - shopping malls, busy streets, places with other people around you should be fairly safe. Learn to think like a woman out alone and use some judgement about avoiding risky situations. :D :D

How ironic that this puts us in even more of a feminine mindset! I'm just now beginning to understand, rather than sympathize, why women can be cautious about going somewhere alone, especially at night. And to think when I was younger I'd get annoyed with the whole idea:rolleyes:.

This realization doesn't change the way I'll do things or how I live, but it certainly broadened my perception of our reality.

[gender_blender]

I'm not concerned about the once-feared hate crimes.
Anything that anyone does maliciously to you or your assets due to your cross gender expression (in public or otherwise) can be persued legally for damage costs.

Also, I recommend to any woman/person: enrolling in martial arts. It's not muscle-building as much as it is technique enforcement. Not only do you mantain a fit/slim figure, but having the ability to deal with aggressive individuals (God forbid) attacking you is worth the investment.

I have been in karate most of my life and once I obtained my black belt, I began crossdressing in public. Soon afterwards I wondered why I waited so long. I've never had to use my martial arts as I lived in a small town as well and even though many people made fun of my crossdressing, they never once attacked me physically.


Charlie

[Lauren Richards]

Never worried about it.

And..why is it so easy to assume someone with a couple of flags on their truck would be any more a danger to you than a well dressed yuppie in an SUV? I suspect there are plenty of conservative flag waving crossdressers who happen to like guns and mountains and freedom, too. Cold weather could be just a wonderful excuse to wear pantyhose under the hunting gear.

I think the best advice in the posts above is to think like a woman. Be careful. Be aware. Don't put yourself in risky situations. Be a lady. Wearing a dress can be a transforming experience; it can allow you to understand an entirely different way of thinking. How wonderful is that!

I think the most dangerous hate crime is when we hate ourselves.

[Jenny Beth]

Hate crimes can happen anywhere at anytime. I try not to think about the possibility or I'd never venture out. So far the worst I've had happen were rude comments and I can handle that. My wife worries more than I do so we take taxis if we are going any distance. I have to say I love driving while all dolled up but parking lots, especially underground ones can be dangerous. Avoiding groups of youths is something I do instinctively, I keep a keen eye out ahead and often cross the street several times to keep a safe zone around me. Carrying a weapon has never been an option, I'll take my chances rather than find myself up to my neck in lawyers fees. The bottom line......be aware of your surroundings and leave if things look uncomfortable.

[GypsyKaren]

I don't worry about it because I can be meaner than a bag of snakes if I have to be, and I always stay aware of my surroundings. I've got built in radar that's always on.
GypsyKaren

[Rachel Ann]

I suppose that it depends mostly on where you live.



I live in a bad neighborhood … For me, it's not just hate crimes, it's all types of crime.

But so does every woman trans or not.
Quite right, both of you! I live in an urban area where everyone must always pay attention to their surroundings. But being en femme makes you a much more visible target, especially if you aren’t very passable.

I would never go out en femme alone, especially after dark. I always have mace and a rape whistle. And a place to park that’s a well-lit, visible walk all the way to my destination.



I have been in karate most of my life and once I obtained my black belt, I began crossdressing in public.

I always carry my .45.
I did karate for some years, but I’m too old to get in to physical fights any more. (I’m a follower of Master Lee, who didn’t believe in belts.) No matter what your skill level, you can’t fight off 6 people, or even one who’s armed, or big enough, or just doesn’t care about consequences.

I don’t carry (or even own) weapons because I think that the attacker(s) would probably be more skilled than I, and would just love to prove it.



Anything that anyone does maliciously ... due to your cross gender expression ... can be pursued legally for damage costs.That wouldn't comfort to me if I were in traction – or dead. Besides, you have to catch them first, and hope that they have any money to sue for.

Yours in safety

Rachel


p.s. Garden-variety muggers usually work alone, but perpetrators of hate crimes usually attack in packs. Off topic just a little: Does anybody know who are the most frequently mugged? It’s muggers! It’s a lot safer and easier for a bigger, stronger mugger to take down another, who’s already robbed several people, than it is to go around and rob them one at a time.

[norbie]

:) Hi All,
I think Dear Alaynas story here is a little different. She tells us about being the Center of 6 isolated Mountain Towns. And this mountain People are different and as She said very conservative.
I don't think they will do anything like body harm, but they will redicul her, they will make life very hard for her and maybe even 'run her out of town'.
This people will never try to understand or accept.
So I would say to Alayna don't provoke them, if you like to change to CD mode go to the city.
Sorry it sounded a little negative but to demonstrate our cause the big city is the place for it, just my 2 cents.
Love to All from Norbie :p

[gender_blender]

No matter what your skill level, you can’t fight off 6 people, or even one who’s armed, or big enough, or just doesn’t care about consequences.

This was addressed above to some degree and I still stood by my answer. I can take down 2 or 3 attackers and I can deal with a firearm/knife at close range (as can anyone who studies martial arts for a few years). So if they can catch me and overpower me, they pretty much earned it. It boils down to perception and technique...and not putting yourself in dangerous situations.



Charlie

[norbie]

I won't go near you, Charlie :D
Norbie :p

[lorna2cute]

I think we all have to worry about hate crimes to one degree or another. The fact is that everyone in our society is susceptible to hate crimes of one degree or another. :(


Side note - I'm trying to become a cop! ;)