Curious

[AngelDelight]

Hi, I have been thinking about going out dressed for some time if I can pluck up enough courage.
But then I was wondering if I do what sort of person I can expect to respond to me. I am like the majority of cd's heterosexual [i do not have a partner], however I was thinking if I did go out it would probably be to a gay bar as they would be more understanding, but who would give me the time of day. I should probably point out that I am not homophobic and would not object to speaking to gay men, but would they just ignore me. What about lesbian females again I would probably not interest them, that just leaves straight males or females, which presumably would be few in a gay bar, but surely I would simply be an object of curiosity and nothing more to a straight gal and most straight guys would not know what to make of me, apart from those who would perhaps go for anything in a skirt.
I hope this makes sense, having never been in such a situation I really don't know what to expect.
Your experiences would be gratefully appreciated
Thanks Angela

[deja true]

Well,Angel... the people who will respond to you are the people who you will engage in conversation. In a new place, if you don't know anybody, it's likely that you can sit there forever without getting spoken to unless you start it.

Once you meet and get along socially with one new prson, that leads to beng introduced to all their acquaintances and ...badda bing...first thing ya know, your chattin' your ass off!

Even if ya start out talking to gay guys or girls, they've got straight friends, too, ya know!

Gotta take the initiative, sweetie!

:D

[LeslieBird]

It really depends on the place and the individuals. At a lot of gay bars, yes, the guys ignore you, they have no interest. That's not univerally true though -- last week I had a wonderful experience. Lesbians seem more open and interested (in a platonic way). Straight girls are the most open -- I've met many who are just absolutely fascinated. Straight males are OK if their GF is there to make them be nice, otherwise we creep them out.

[Karren H]

Go shopping or go out to a casino!! They will take you money no matter how your dressed! They sure do mine! Lol.

[AngelDelight]

Go shopping or go out to a casino!! They will take you money no matter how your dressed! They sure do mine! Lol.

Sounds a sure fire way of losing your money either way, but i know what you mean

[Karren H]

Yeah!! But I've found that loosing money enfemme is way way way more fun than winning anything in drab!! :)

[carolinoakland]

Well it's just like all the other girls honey. just being a girl is not an invitation to every person in the world to automatically want to have sex with you. Talking is good. I think that you should go, be you. and forget the rest. about 99 percent of what keeps us from trying is our own fears. I mean stay in your comfort zone yes and be safe, but stretch a little now and then, no?

[Sally2005]

You could start by posting a photo on this forum and get some feedback on your look then just go do it. I think you won't know until you try it. Any time I have gone out, I have never had any problems. I've never gone in a gay bar though and on halloween I've gone in several regular bars and never had any problems, in fact (and it may depend on the holiday) many people enjoy it, some are unsure what to do, but if you are happy and friendly they respond well. Shopping is okay once you get the blending in look down. Going out at night, it is easier to pass, I think.

[Lorileah]

Gay bars are very accommodating and often friendly but understand gay guys like guys not guys in dresses. Some may ask you to dance though, how do you feel about that? My experience is that more often in gay bars my skirt hem goes to my hips as someone wants to see what is "under there" and it is usually a "sister" who impishly smiles when I turn. Look at it this way, if you want to dance and probably go home alone, a gay bar is a great place to be. You wanna shoot some stick a gay bar will work (don't beat the resident shark though it is hard to run in heels). You want a drink and conversation, go gay and talk to the bar flies. They welcome conversation. A lesbian wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot pole so I would avoid dyke bars. If you are looking for companionship...a show bar is better as there are T-girl lovers there (male and female). You want dinner ...any class restaurant would love to see you. Most hotel bars will welcome you if you just want a drink and maybe some conversation. Be careful how you act though because they do take a dim view of hookers and you are probably too pretty to spend the night in the drunk tank.

All in all, go out, be confident, be aware (as any female would be on the town) and have fun. You will probably meet some great friends and who knows they may reserve a stool for you. :)

[Hope]

If your goal is to meet a potential date or partner in the gay bar, your chances will be - slim. But if your goal is to walk in wearing a skirt and not be bludgeoned with a fire extinguisher, and just hang out and have a good time - you will be fine.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I think Karren's post is great - you don't have to go a gay bar - there are

many alternatives - cafes - shopping - malls - theaters - museums - concerts

straight bars etc

JoAnne Wheeler

[linnea]

I haven't done this very much, but my best results have come from times that I have just opened up a conversation. Straight women, especially the younger one (25-45), seem very easy to talk with and open up to. They also, in my limited experience, seem fascinated.
I have almost no experience with guys, except for a creep whom I met with a woman he was with. He was creepy but not aggressive or threatening.

[krisinpink]

My experiences while out have been all positive!

I've been out only to gay bars dressed, and have found that the gay guys have no trouble being cool with us, and have found that the closeted gays (or those who haven't come out to even themselves) are especially friendly. By far the friendliest folk are the straight GGs. (it is SOOO much fun to man-bash with a GG while dressed!!) Straight guys are generally not much fun to talk to or be near as they inevitably feel like they need to 'step up' their machismo a notch or two in our company. I've found cool tolerance from lesbians...especially the butches, but have had a couple nice chats with the 'lipstick' side of that crowd.

A *great* suggestion was made earlier in this thread, and that was to go to a show bar. I've found that the girls dancing are wonderfully friendly in general (as long as the 'Diva' thing hasn't gone to their heads) and great fun to chat with between sets. I agree whole-heartedly that these shows also attract admirers, and these guys are generally polite, and enjoy our conversation. Do be careful with this element of the crowd however, I am just suspicious enough to be afraid that these are the most unpredictable of all the peoples you'll find in a show bar.

Bottom line, go ahead and go out. Be sure to stash an extra car key on the outside of your car and DON'T take anything into the club that you can't leave behind if you feel spooked, and need to leave abruptly. This, and drab clothes in the car are generally the only safety nets I use when going out dressed.

I hope you have a wonderful time!

-Krissy

[charlie]

Hello Angela!
I think your idea of going to a gay bar is a good one. Always best to be accepted on a first run. If you can, find one that has a drag show on a weekend night. That way you will get some different types of people there. You will get other CD's, straight couples, straight GG's, gays, and men who are "tranny chasers". You are going to experience the fun of being out dressed. Fellow CD's will introduce themselves and make small talk. Young women (straight) will come over and talk to you about you, clothes and how you look. Tranny chasers will try to pick you up and buy you drinks. It is all fun and you will have a night of being Angela and being completely accepted. The hardest part of the night will be getting into your car at home and getting out of your car at the bar. Go get 'em!

[Sophia de la luz]

was on Tuesday. I got dressed in nice pants with tights underneath, a padded bra, a beautiful purple shirt with a nice set of heals. I drove over the hill and shopped for some food for our family and bought some dumbbells from a guy I met over craig's list. I was a little nervous. I also walked up and down the main downtown strip when I had a 10 minutes to kill. I had fun. Everyone was very nice and cordial to me.
So, no losing money, go gay guys, just a day out dressed as a woman in a town where no one knows me any other way.

[TSchapes]

Is one of the many conferences around the country. Check this post for a list: Major Conferences for 2009 (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=98277).

I go to the local drag bar here in Detroit at least once a month and meet a bunch of my T-girl friends there. You may want to check to see if one of the gay bars has like a T-girl night. Then you would have a chance at meeting other CD's.

And don't forget to look up any support groups locally. I have found that it is easier initially to go out in a group than solo. Pink Essence is one that comes to mind.

-Tracy