On children......

[Dannie Lefae]

Hi everyone,

I am just wondering if any of you, like myself have children? If so, do they know about your dressing? I have 3 teens that live with me and 2 adult children that don't and I can say with certanty that they do not know that I dress. I have only been able to come out to my wife and 1 or 2 others that are not in my life anymore. I cannot say what they would think. I think the only ones who would have a hard time understanding would be my 18 year old sons. I think my daughters would be understanding and at least one of them would be encouraging. She is and has been open bi-sexual for several years and is a supporter of GLBT both in school and out, so I am sure she would understand after the intitial shock. But I constantly live in fear that one of them may catch me or see my pic's on-line. I am not planning on coming out to them but accidents are called accidents because they are not planned. What are all your thoughts and experiences?

Blessings,
Em

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

Neither one of them dis-owned me, both of them sort of knew I crossdressed but not the extent of my crossdressing, they told me they knew about my dressing for like 15 years but never said anything. Anyway, they are both okay with it and both said they love me and will never not love me. One is my daughter 24 yrs (bisexual) and my son 22 yrs old. I love them both dearly. I am divorced, single and live alone.

I thought I hid my dressing pretty well thru my marriage, but with my kids saying they knew for 15 years or so it seems like you can't hide these things. If you tell your kids don't be surprised if they accept you and tell you they knew. I think we all leave some clues. :battingeyelashes:

[Sheila]

all my kids knew my ex dressed and all 3 knowas that Debs dresses, none of them have have any objections (well at least to his dressing:D :) )

[María José]

I have three children, teenagers. They don´t know about my crossdressing. My wife and I have decided to tell nothing about it to them. But I don´t know what will happen in the future.

[alexis GG]

I have 3 children (22, 14 and 12) and they have all been very accepting of my partners cd'ing... the youngest one is really curious as to what kinda clothes my SO has but we see no reason for her to see them... They were all really understanding when they were told and we let them ask any questions they wanted... I think this helped them understand...

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

I have a 5yo and he's known essentially since he was born. He is aware that it's not something that all other men do, but accepts me as I am.

Alice

[Shannon]

I have a 13-year step daughter. I have not told her about my crossdressing, but she had asked my wife (her mother) if I'm gay because I have my toenails painted. Her mother told her simply "No, he's not gay", which is the truth. I suspect my step daughter has discovered my wigs and probably my lingerie, dresses and shoes because she does snoop around I don't keep things locked up. The only issue we really have is that she keeps borrowing my nail polish and never returns it!

[Jacquilynne]

I have 4 children :) Yes you are seeing right 4! We have 2 boys (ages 10 and 9) and 2 girls (ages 3 and 16 mo).:) OUr oldest 10 yr old I think kinda knows theres something different about "Daddy" but hasn't asked any questions yet. Both of us are very artsy and have worked on novels and character design, and comic books so they are used to us role-playing and designing characters. He has often commented that he's thought of my pics as a "Character" that I'm designing. Cute.

I don't think our 9 yr old knows too much or will ever know too much as he is a low-functioning Autistic boy with possibly other disabilities and will probably be with us for a long time. He's a very sweet boy but does not speak, Has severely delayed motor skills it took him until about age 4 to even walk, and really understands only very basic commands. He is really trapped in his own world but he is happy. All this to say, I'm fairly confident he'll never understand about Jacie.

Our 2 girls have seen me dressed as have the boys but the girls are too young to understand fully I think, Although, I was surprised about 2 weeks ago when my panties accidentally made it into the family laundry (see I've been told to separate my stuff for my own laundry part of making sure the children are kept "in the dark"). My wife was separating the laundry and smy daughter picked the panties up and said something like. "These are Daddys'." How did she know, she hasn't even seen them on me . . . i think? Anyway, we were a little shocked and that is when we decided to separate my laundry. :) LOL

And of course the youngest girl is still way too young. . .but there you have it a run-down on our children.

I understand as they get older and have questions, I will have to find ways of telling them, it just hasn't become an issue . . .yet though I think it may be getting close as I rarely hide my dressing anymore. . .Jacie is pretty much a part of me and very open. . .

hope this adds to the topic and helps move it along . . .

[Daintre]

I have an adult child who was told very early by my ex. When it was time for me to work at times when he was a teen ,Jenni's wardrobe was always looked through.

He has come out to me and told me he likes to dress as well, I love my son unconditionally, he knows I am there for him as I know he supports me. I do feel guilt though, was his decision to dress based on me? I get down on myself at times because we all know it is not easy being gifted.

[Sophia de la luz]

They are 3 and 6. I don't hide dressing. My youngest, a daughter, is very girlie and enjoys my clothing, seeing it on me etc. My oldest, a boy, notices things but doesn't say much. I asked him once about whether me dressing as a woman bothered him. He said "I don't care what you wear."
It's a journey. I want to model for him and her effectively in various ways, including being a creative, productive person in the world.
So far, though, the x-dressing really seems to be a none issue for them.

[erica12b]

i have two sons , one a step son 19 and he will never know (if i can help it) he is not excepting of any non-macho guy (he spent first 6yr with no males as role modes) when i was married he just eat up doing guy things with me or my father, my other son is 11 and spends most of his time with his mom and when he is with me he to loves guy things (he is more under standing than the oldes) but i dont know if i will ever tell him about erica , only time will tell

[Ralph]

I dressed openly in front of my kids until the oldest was 5 or so, and then per my wife's request I tried to present a more traditional "male image" for them as a role model so they would know they didn't have two mommies.

A few times when my son was older (5-10) I'd go out after they were in bed and rummage in the kitchen or watch TV in a dress, and he would come out to get something... I'm afraid the surprise of being caught like that caused me to respond very badly and I yelled at him for something that was certainly not his fault. I can't tell you how often I've kicked myself for that ever since - and it was at least 10 years ago.

When they were old enough to know the difference between gay and straight, I sat each of them down (they are 3 years apart, so these conversations took place 3 years apart) and explained a bit about the crossdressing. I think I opened with something very ambiguous, like "I don't always buy my clothes on the men's side of the store" and went into more detail from there, emphasizing that I am not gay, I love their mother very much, and I have no intention of becoming a woman or leaving their mother. I also stressed that because of the way most of society views this behavior it would make life rather awkward for us if anyone outside the immediate family knew - including grandparents, aunts and uncles.

They were both rather uncomfortable about the whole thing, and have never asked more about it or said anything. So for their sake I always wear pants (even if they're only "pants" in the sense of being satin pajamas) when I'm wandering around the house while they're home. In the privacy of my own room (where I work all day out of a home office) I wear whatever I please, and if they walk in and notice that the velvet "sweater" that is usually tucked into pants now extends to the floor, they don't say anything.

They're both in college now and I'm starting to worry that my desire for privacy so I could dress has wasted much of the valuable time I could have been spending with my children instead... so I try to look for things we can all do together before they both move away for good. Quality time with my kids is *way* more important than dressing! I may not be able to kick the habit, but I can keep it to myself a few more years.

ralph, humming "sunrise, sunset"

[txrobinm]

Ralph, I'm impressed that you know "Sunrise, Sunset". It's not a common song to know among folks our age. :)

2 kids, 4 and 7. Both girls. I would like to be role model for them and be more open about my CDing, but their ability to be discreet is nill. Therefore, they are kept out of it. Robin's stuff is in 2 locked trunks in my closet. They are aware of them, but haven't asked any questions yet.

Funny story: a colleage of my wife's brought his kids over one night- 2 girls and a boy, all about the age of my kids, while they had a team project session nearby (I was watching the dinner and making sure the kids didn't get burned....uh, make that "watchig the kids and making sure the dinner didn't get burned"). The boy is the youngest. Sure enough, about 45 minutes into their visit, the girls start playing dress up. I wondered what he would do. About 5 minutes later here he comes, as Cinderella! My girls started to razz him about it, and I admonished them that he can wear whatever he wants here, and told him that it was OK. His dad later said that the boy does that all the time at home whenever the girls play dress up.

[KandisTX]

I have two teenagers, both of whom know I dress. They accept it and all seems to go well here. ;)

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Carin]

I have 7 kids, currently 14,18,19,19,19,20 and 21. In the last few years we have told them all. Here is one post (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=66645), and another (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=66092) and another (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=90052)

They are all very accepting of me. I dress around them all the time now. My 22 yo daughter went to a TG ball with me last October. PM me if you wish.

[Sandra]

Our daughter was told when she was 14, shes 20 this year. She had no trouble accepting the fact that dad dresses.

Don't be to sure that your children don't know that something is going on. We had been so carefull before we told her, and the first thing she said was "yeah I had an idea" :eek: the next was " can I borrow your clothes" :doh:

One thing I will say to everyone is that if you intend to tell your children know matter what age, don't put it on them to keep your secret, it is just not fair to expect them to keep quiet.

[Kelli Michelle]

I have an 18 yr son and a 13 yr. old daugh. I "agreed" with my wife, not to dress in any feminine way around them. They don't know really about my cding, but they may suspect. I think that they both would be ok because we have talked about gays, cds, etc before. There is a TG person in my son's school, and he is ok with him, no problems at all. Of course, it may be different if it's their dad who is doing it. Still, I think they would be ok. It's my wife who is worried about it not me. Oh well.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I have twin 6 year old boys and they don't know about Tash. My wife insists, and I agree, that until they are old enough to understand they should remain "uninformed" for want of a better word.

I have an 18 year old from my first marriage, he and his g/f caught me a couple of months ago when I hadn't sufficiently removed my eye makeup, so I think they have an inkling. Were totally cool about it though, just sort of smiled at each other and nothing else was said.

I wouldn't offer any info out of the blue, but if asked I think I would have no problems fessing up to my children.

Cheers

Tash :)

[gennee]

My 21 year old son knows I dress and he's cool :cool: with it.

Gennee

[Nicole Erin]

My 12 year old son knows, we don't talk about it, but I did tell him if he had any questions about it. He doesn't act or treat me any different. I am the same person to him either way.

I honestly believe that kids have to be taught to hate certain people or groups. We never taught him to be homophobic/transphobic so he is alright.



I have an adult child who was told very early by my ex. When it was time for me to work at times when he was a teen ,Jenni's wardrobe was always looked through.

He has come out to me and told me he likes to dress as well, I love my son unconditionally, he knows I am there for him as I know he supports me. I do feel guilt though, was his decision to dress based on me? I get down on myself at times because we all know it is not easy being gifted.

OK so you two could be mom and daughter in the TG aspect.
A person makes their own choice about dressing, I very much doubt that boys start dressing just cause their father does.

[Ralph]

Ralph, I'm impressed that you know "Sunrise, Sunset". It's not a common song to know among folks our age.

That depends on "our age" - Won't belong before I qualify for AARP discounts. Woohoo!

venerable ralph

[occdresser]

I have 2 kids and i have no intention in telling them either, and i'm quite sure they dont know and hopefully will never know! The wife accidently found out:eek: and that was extremely tough to deal with.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

My younger brother underwent SRS about 10 years ago - at the time he had

three young childen ages 10 - 20 - and after they found out about him,

they ALL have refused to have anything to do with him or even go see him.

I realize that people are different, but I throw this out as a real possibility

for you.

JoAnne Wheeler

"I'm an All American Bluegrass Girl and Proud As I Can be"

[Angel.Marie76]

I have an 11yr old, and last Halloween I basically started to come out to him (10 then). I told him that I wanted to 'Be a girl' for Hallows that year. He didn't take it very well that day, but as time went on he's become much more accepting and understanding around the house. He and I have never been out together while I was dressed, and he and I have an agreement that I will do my best not to be out dressed in the town we live in.

Otherwise he's seen me dressed around the house quite a bit, he's had a therapist for quite some time now for other divorce-related stuffs, and so he's had someone to talk to about my dressing. Besides that my GF is supportive of my dressing, so he sometimes talks to her about his feelings too. I have been routinely dressing around the house about once a week after I get out of work, or for about a whole day on weekends, and he doesn't seem to mind that much. His biggest fears are the rest of the people HE knows finding out and then perhaps being unhappy with that. Such is the life of a 5th grader.

As another separate avenue, I know a MtF woman from my support group that has a 6 and 11yr old I think, and they both seem to be happily getting along with the fact that their father is transitioning. I believe they both refer to her as mom now.

Children are individuals none the less, and each one must be treated in their own unique way.