What my wife wants

[ruthie801]

My wife knows about my CD and has allowed me to dress with her on occasion. Well her latest request and I do not want to offend any one but I would like your opinions. To start I did have bisexual encounters before I was with her. Well any way she wants to experiance a another guy with me. I am turned on about it but I have many reservations about it as well, I am sure you can all understand. I was wondering if anyone here has had the same request from a wife or girlfriend. If you would rather not post me here feel free to PM me.

[Lora Olivia]

No experience in this, although we have discussed this scenario. I feel that the important thing here would be loads of communication, about what happens before, during, and after. There are just so many issues with this. And lastly, no matter what play safe

[jennCD]

I always had the feeling that adding another pair of lips to any relationship will most always end up with someone being left out and damaging the fine balance between those involved.

Not saying it doesn't work for everyone but there's always risks that can come at a steep price.

:)

jenn

[Lorileah]

No matter if you are dressing or not, you have to be very secure in your relationship when you start to play this way. Can you and your spouse differentiate playing from commitment? I know people who can but often that green-eyed monster rears up. Even the misconception of thinking that the other partner has become addicted to this can cause tension.

It is a fantasy for many people and some handle it without problems, but I would really get the ground rules in place before you do this.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I don't know what to tell you - I personally would not want to engage in

activity like that - that's just my personal opinion - I'm not passing judgment

or giving approval - if you feel strongly either way, then follow your heart -

just be careful of the consequences either way you choose - there are

consequences.

JoAnne Wheeler

"I'm an all American Bluegrass Girl and Proud As I can Be"

[Sophia de la luz]

I have yet to do this, but my wife does have some fantasies along these lines... whether I'm dressed or not. It would be more fun for me if I was dressed. The main criteria I would use is safety... health issues, safe to be myself, safe with an experience that my wife loves me.
Good luck.

[JeanneF]

Anything along those lines seems to be fraught with peril, IMO. One of the biggest hurdles my wife and I have with my dressing is her fear that she is not sufficient for me sexually. I personally think that if we invited a guy or another Tgirl into the mix, if I showed too much interest in him/her it would end badly.

The concern I would have is that the new partner has equipment that your wife doesn't have...and as such she may find herself unable to compete.

[Sarah...]

The activity you describe is independent of CD / TG / TS status. If you have a strong, committed relationship then maybe you could manage it. Or maybe not.

I have experience in that area. It works for us. I would never recommend it to anyone. It's a choice you two need to make yourself and if you have to ask for views / advice then remember that the views / advice you receive relate to different people. Not to you.

Sarah...

[ruthie801]

Thank you for the advise I know I'm at a crossroad here

[carolinoakland]

I have had some expeirence and the thing I would point out is.... can you evenly divide 3? Sooner or later someone is going to be left out. But that's just me, if you and yours are secure and are both choosing to do so, then who care's what you do so long as no one gets hurt or used. Be well.Carol

[ReineD]

The concern I would have is that the new partner has equipment that your wife doesn't have...and as such she may find herself unable to compete.

Or, it could be she is not thinking about his interaction with you at all, but his equipment and yours in terms of interacting with her. Have you seen "The Story of O"? :)

I agree that every aspect and expectations need to be discussed clearly first together, and then with the potential partner should you decide to go ahead.

[DonnaT]

Well any way she wants to experiance a another guy with me.

Talk it out well before proceeding.

Find out exactly what the scenario might be. Both of you satisfying him; both you and him satisfying her; both him and her satisfying you; one watching while the other has sex; ETC.

Discuss limitations, like kissing; condom use; type of sex; one time thing; etc.

Most importantly, will it change your relationship, will she think less of you, will you think less of her.

[Beth785]

Beware of "Buyer's Remorse." You may think it's a great idea going in, but you may find that she enjoys it with the other more than you and jealousy will rear it's ugly head. Or the other person and you may do something and your SO will get jealous. I don't mean to bring up the negatives, but I do believe that they need to be said.

[Samantha43]

Be careful!

That is a slippery slope, and is something you may regret. I can see many negatives and not too many positives.

[Dannie Lefae]

I haven't had any experience with my current SO, but with my ex-wife, we did just that (she was not aware of my cding, but she did know I had bi-tendencies). It was one of the biggest mastakes I ever made. I think the marriage was on the outs by that time anyways, but it brought out insecurities in me that I never knew could exist. I would never consider it with my SO now. I don't think either of us really have a need to add someone new to our sex life, and more importantly, I would not want to jepordize what we have for one night of sex.

Em

[ruthie801]

Thanks every one

[MarciManseau]

Julie and I have shared three men and one T girl over the last five years, and it's almost always been wonderful. We're secure in our love for each other, and we know it's all about pleasure. Just take your time finding that one special person, and be sure they know it's all about fun, not love.

If you'd like to talk more, feel free to message me here of I'm MarciManseauNY on Yahoo.


Hugs, Marci :hugs:

[Desiree2bababe]

We've talked about it but haven't acted upon it yet. I know I would enjoy it!

[TxKimberly]

Hmmm . . . trying to separate my personal distaste for the idea from the deal.
So much depends upon the two of you. I know there are couples out there that have open relationships, or live the "swinging" life style, and I suppose I applaud them for finding a life style that pleases them. But still, like others have said, I can't help thinking it's a mine field and your going to be tiptoeing through it waiting for something to go "boom" . . .

[MsJanessa]

I have the opposite problem as Kimberly---I am trying to put aside My excitment at the thought of a threesome and look at the downside of it.---you and your wife would have to have a very solid relationship to have it happen with no jealousy problems or emotional attachments to the guy---did she have any one in mind or were the two of you simply going to go look for someone?

If it is sex with a stranger would you be interested in that(I guess it depends on the stranger--lol) and would everybody have a clearly defined role---I have engaged in B and D games with couples where the wife was the top and the husband the bottom---worked out well for everybody---I and the wife topped the husband and a good time was had by all---but I digress--what is your and your wifes role in this--does she want to watch while you and the guy do the action---does she want you to watch while she and the guy do the action or does she want everybody to particpate and if you did, would you be a passive( read "female") partner or an active (male ) with the guy? A lot depends on what you and she agree to do before hand---so I wouldn't just dive into it but discuss it with her more---

one note--If she has a specific guy in mind is he already her boyfriend or has she broached the idea to him? just some thoughts ps--if your wife is as attractive as you, it's going to be one lucky guy

[ruthie801]

Thank you all for your comments and the private messages they have all been informative and sincere. My wife agreeds that a strong relationship is important and thinks we can more then deal with any down side of this adventure. We may book a room in Atlantic City NJ this weekend and see what happens

[Jess_cd32]

Threesomes are like playing with fire and I'd be very carefull. Haven't read all the posts but some seem to be offering great advice so far that I did read, hope I'm not repeating them.

I knew one couple, it was his idea to bring in another male. After the fact he was so jealous that she enjoyed herself that he drove her crazy over it, what did he want her to do, have a bad time:brolleyes:

I don't judge anyone for what they want to do or try, if you think you could handle it then thats up to both of you, but it has to be both that want to try it, not just one. Talk it over before hand alot and set boundaries if you feel their needed. If its something you both want to try, well you only live once.

I think alot of it gets down to the right third person.

[Kate Jennings]

I think it has to be all about a fun encounter and not with someone you will run into every day. My SO and I have experienced a threesome and I have to say it was probably the hottest sexual experience I ever had.

The keys are communication, expectation and frankly, to keep that person at a distance from your real relationship. Think of it more as fun and frolic and less that you are inviting a third person into your relationship.

I also think that if you have any burning desire to be with a man while dressed it would be more healthy to experience that with your partner there. It should be noted that an encounter while 'en femme" might demistify your cding for your wife.

By mentioning Atlantic City you may be gearing for an "anonymous" encounter and I know a lot disagree with me but that might not be a bad thing for the two of you to experience together as long as you play safe.

In any event communication, communication, communication.

Good luck with whatever choice you make. Feel free to drop me a private line anytime as we are fairly close to each other too.

[Mistybtm]

would be a dream come true :o

[Lora Olivia]

By mentioning Atlantic City you may be gearing for an "anonymous" encounter and I know a lot disagree with me but that might not be a bad thing for the two of you to experience together as long as you play safe.

In any event communication, communication, communication.



I think this might actually be just the way to play this.

[charlie]

Wow Ruthie!
Going along those lines usually ends in one partner feeling hurt. That leads at long last into your marriage being hurt. This may especially occur if you are as active with your guest as she is. Marriage is just not made for this. When in college my GF and I had another girl in our bed. While it was great for me, it ended our relationship very soon after. Tread softly with this.

[JulieK1980]

Me and my wife actively enjoy the swinging lifestyle, and all I can say is be VERY CAREFULL. There are a lot of people that will take advantage of the situation, and I have seen a lot of marriages fail from trying it. As was already said, Communication, Communication, Communication. If you do go through with it, I would NOT recommend a complete stranger. This is a very risky thing to do and if you can't do it with someone you will see again, you probably shouldn't try it to begin with.


One other idea is to slowely test yourselves with the concept, see how you would react to innocent flirting or kissing with someone else or vice versa and see how the two of you react. Remember fantasy is one thing, reality is a completely different thing.

Ultimately it all comes down to trust, communication, safety, and limits. If you do decide to do it, good luck, and enjoy! It is at least for me a great experience.:)

[Diane Elizabeth]

I have encountered 3 ways several times with my ex. Cding has nothing to do with it unless she wants you dressed for it. We have had many wonderful times with a third party. Everyone must be okay with all aspects. Communication and stability in the marriage is a must for it to work. We have had some encounters that weren;t so great and some that were fantastic. Our encounters were mostly with another female, but occassionally with a male. Again be sure your realtionship is stable. It will not work otherwise.

[GypsyKaren]

This has nothing to do with crossdressing and we tend to close or delete threads that are solely about someone's sex life, which I'm doing now.

Karen :g2: