Why do women like cd [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Amy Hepker

03-03-2009, 10:07 PM

I have GGs talk to me all the time now that I am 24/7 and have had the laser done. I am still rather tall at 6'2" without the heels I wear all the time. So I usually tower over most GGs. In general, I get a lot of GGs taliing to me. I even had a Lady in Wal-Mart ask me one day if I thought a pair of pants were to big for her kid she was holding them up to. I was shocked, but told her they would be just fine. I talk to more GGs now, than I have for years. They all seem friendly to me. I have had very few bad comments and I have a lot of Ladies just want to talk to me about me dressing like a Female. I guess I am not such a threat to them or at least that is what I have been told.

kellycan27

03-03-2009, 11:20 PM

I talk to a lot of GG's, but never any that say.. wanted to take me home.
maybe they were afraid that I'd try to make a move on their husbands, or raid their closets. :daydreaming:

crusadergirl

03-03-2009, 11:30 PM

Girls did talk to me alot when i went out. Way to many questions were asked.
I tryed my best to not be noticed but i always got gg's talking to me. If only they would do that when i wasn't dressed up.
So i don't know why they do maybe they just like to talk to other girls like them.

joann07

03-03-2009, 11:30 PM

I've been out to many places and I've never been hit on by a GG. Although, I have had some rare occasions when they just come up to me and compliment me on my make up.
I guess it's because I blend in present myself extremely well that they percieve me as such.

I just wish GGs would come and talk to me while I'm in drab.
I'm a nice guy who has a good job and financially independent.
But you know that old saying, "Nice guys always come last". :brokenheart:

Hugs!

lingerieLiz

03-03-2009, 11:52 PM

I think many GGs tend to have no problem with talking to a CD when they do not feel threatened. I've had great discussions with them when we were discussing feminine things. When I told a sales assistant that I didn't like foam cup bras because the bunched she said her daughters loved them and spent 10 minutes explaining what I was doing wrong and showing me. Another woman was very friendly until I asked her if she would like to go to lunch one day. She took it as a date and I was wanting some girl talk.

I just don't think that we have enough contact with GGs where they know to find a definitive answer.

dilane

03-03-2009, 11:58 PM

At my first time go out dressed up, Can any one tell me why so many women tried to chat me up. Has this happened to others.

Yes, it happens fairly often to me. Sometimes when I've been read, and sometimes not. I think CDing, especially if it looks like you're trying, and doing a pretty good job of it, is fascinating to a lot of women.

I do a reasonably decent job of it, have a good voice, and carry myself pretty well, and I dress age appropriately. Maybe that makes me more approachable, who knows.

I have also been picked up on by women on a more than a few occasions (never acted on it 'cause I'm married). I remember one cute gal adopting me at a halloween party at a local bar, and her refreshing my lipstick :-) However I've been out hundreds of times over the last 10 years, so the likelyhood is small.

-- Diane

erica12b

03-04-2009, 12:00 AM

i want to know , where, what planet and how do i get there
please , no, really please lol

MissConstrued

03-04-2009, 12:56 AM

Yep, and it seems to be getting more frequent.

I suspect not everyone is seizing the opportunity. If a girl starts chatting you up -- especially at a bar -- don't end the conversation without getting a phone number! If you dig the girl you're talking to, and make it known that yes, you are into girls, and she's still talking to you -- this is a clue! She finds you intriguing, and it's up to you after that.

Trust me. :D

Intertwined

03-04-2009, 01:21 AM

I talk to more GGs now, than I have for years. They all seem friendly to me. I have had very few bad comments and I have a lot of Ladies just want to talk to me about me dressing like a Female. I guess I am not such a threat to them or at least that is what I have been told.

Two main points, Confidence, Non-threatening. I have had many brief conversations with GGs, questions about my heels or jewelry, compliments on my skirt or purse, and I DON'T try to pass, I go out as a man in a skirt, heels, purse, confident and nonchalant

I have had some rare occasions when they just come up to me and compliment me on my make up.
I guess it's because I blend in present myself extremely well that they percieve me as such.

When you are comfortable, that shows.

Example: Your out at a club, there is a CD or GG, off in the corner, head down, looking almost like cat in a room full of dogs, towards the center of the room, there is another CD or GG, head up, shoulders back, smile on their face, obviously enjoying themselves, which one would you talk to first?

sterling12

03-04-2009, 02:05 AM

When we are out and about, about 98% of the the talking done to us, is by women. My Sista's guess that The Men are too intimidated and probably think that might be something they could "catch!" Often, if it's a male, they turn out to be "kindred spirits," and you eventually get a confession.

There's a famous cliché (generalization) in The TG World, "Women are very tolerant.....unless it's your wife!"

But yes you are right, seems like people in general are less intimidated, and most seem to be just curious. A few very brave or nosy ones will come right up and ask questions. That is a very good thing!

Peace and Love, Joanie

kathrynjanos

03-04-2009, 02:07 AM

Frankly, I've seen a number of CDs that have some VERY attractive gf's. But this doesn't mean that all are so accepting. I just hope that many will be, especially if I go full time. I think that enough women will be curious to give it a shot.

For some of them, it's "daddy issues," others a bi-curiosity that doesn't mean actually being bi, and still others just a woman who could appreciate a man who recognizes the woman inside.

AliceJaneInNewcastle

03-04-2009, 03:04 AM

At my first time go out dressed up, Can any one tell me why so many women tried to chat me up. Has this happened to others.
Happens all the time, even though I always wear my wedding ring.

With some, it's clearly "I'm taken and so are you, but we can flirt playfully" and that's always fun. :happy:

Alice

sometimes_miss

03-04-2009, 03:29 AM

In my experience, 2 main things:

1. The non-threatening, "fag hag" aspect, as the bulk of the public assumes all MtF CDs/TGs, etc. are gay.

2. Genuine curiousity about all the details required for a fella to pull off a convinvincing femme presentation.

cheers,
Paula

+1.
There are several things going on here. One, you're still 'really a guy', with a guy's innate responsibilities for the safety of women in general, two, she assumes you're not sexually interested in her and so her guard is down, three, our body language is such that when we're around any woman we find attractive, we display openness, but with our wearing the female clothing, don't display male sexual interest.
As above, basically women assume we're 'safe' to talk to. But I seriously doubt that it can be converted to anything romantic; it's like being permanently burned into the 'friend zone'.

Hope

03-04-2009, 03:33 AM

I think you are just experiencing girl culture. Remember that girls are much more outgoing and chatty than guys are - it's not just in the ladies room v. the mens room. As a guy you are a threat / opportunity - as a girl you are a sister.

Don't make a mistake and think that there are GGs falling all over themselves wanting to date you as a CD.

Lisa Golightly

03-04-2009, 03:41 AM

Awwwwww... I been chased by a few GG's in my time... Which was flattering, but my heart & head just weren't in good enough shape in all honesty. I really screwed up so massively with one girl that I kind of learned an awful lot of hometruths about myself... The hard way.

Yes, there are girls out there... They are very few and far between... You'll find the majority of them already in the 'scene'... And if it's your thing, well all the best in finding yours.

Lisa Golightly

03-04-2009, 05:28 AM

I was talking in terms of sexual interest rather than passing the time of day... Though, I'm not particularly worried... I have other pursuits :)

Raychel

03-04-2009, 06:30 AM

I have only been out one time and it was on Haloween. There were 3 people that made a considerable effort to come over to me, One was a guy, who I would bet was also a crossdresser in disguise. the other two were women. Can I explain it. Not one bit. If I had gone as a pirate I would bet that they would not have come over.

Can't explain it, but it sure does happen, And I enjoyed it.

PrettyFlowingGown

03-04-2009, 07:21 AM

On my first night out saturday night, a GG remarked how beautiful my dress was, and we had a chat. I chatted with a cuppla lesbian ladies too, but they were'nt trying to chat me up. Maybe its early days yet.

Magickman

03-04-2009, 07:52 AM

Many women seem amused by the sight of a man in women's style clothing and shoes. Frequently, they are sufficiently amused to approach and initiate conversation.

I, for one, do not complain about women approaching me for conversation. It is easier than chasing the women.

One odd scenario plays out occasionally. The woman approaches, and starts talking. Then she asks if I am trying to meet women. When I reply in the affirmative, she tells me that I cannot attract women while dressed, but must jettison my heels, skirt, tights, earrings and manicure.

In reality, though, even the rare complainers were attracted by my appearance, and approached me to talk.

Many more women will hit on me when I am dressed, than would otherwise. That is a consistent result.

Who knows, for sure, why women do what they do? All I do know is that they approach me constantly when I am dressed, and frequently tell me how "cute" I am.

Marjory

03-04-2009, 08:07 AM

I've never been chatted up buy a GG while dressed. If have been grilled by genuinely interested salesgirls who wanted to know everything about me and crossdressing.

JoAnne Wheeler

03-04-2009, 08:19 AM

Where are you finding all these GGs who like to chat with you ? What do

they talk about ? What do you tell them ? How do they react ? What do

they really think of you ?

JoAnne Wheeler

"I'm an all American Bluegrass Girl and Proud As I Can Be"

BeckiB

03-04-2009, 09:21 AM

I have chatted with many GG's and men for that matter since I started dressing. I am not sure I have been "hit on" much. I think for the most part we are fairly rare or unique. People see images of CDers normally shown in a bad light so when they see us out in public looking relativeely normal and acting the same their curiousity peaks. If you are at the mall and blending in for the most part I have never had a bad situation. I think it is easy to tell I am a male but I do my best to fit in and that makes it easier for people to talk to me.

I have to say that I am also the type that if I see someone staring I will go over and talk to them. I have met some womderful people this way and I don't mind answering the questions. Someone else had a thread about are we doing enough. I think this does a lot more to forward our cause than a protest or a march. Hearts and minds are won one at a time.

Stephanie Kay

03-04-2009, 11:24 AM

My wife and I had a talk about this. I have some very good GG friends who will go out with me as Stephanie and have fun shopping, etc. Now my wife is not interested in doing that and I asked her about the difference between her and my friends. She said that my GG friends do not have to go home with me and have a sexual relationship. They just want to be friends and are not sexually attracted to either my female or male self. My wife married a guy and wants the guy around. So it may be that GGs are not "threatened" because they think we are gay, but just want a friend and tend to make friends easier with women whether they have a "package" or not. It's probably more complex than that though!:battingeyelashes:

Love.
Stephanie

jruiz

03-04-2009, 11:39 AM

Sorry for posting word-by-word what I just posted in another thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1633656#post1633656), but I think that it applies here as well:

I'm sorry to disperse the thick pink fog that blocks our sight and our thoughts, but it is very rare that GGs are attracted to crossdressing.

This is a recurrent theme here in this forum. I think that we want to believe that. But the truth is that most heterosexual girls like men that look like men and act like men.

Some girls are with crossdressers... sure, it's true. But they originally fell in love with the guy-looking guy. Then, they tolerated or allowed the CD. And maybe later, as an act of love, they accepted and enjoyed it. However (and solely based in a lot of stories from this forum), very few of them are turned on or want to have sex with her partners while they are dressed. Most of those who accept don't want to be part of it.

Love first. CD accepting/attracted later. Not very common the opposite (a GG looking for the perfect CD blue prince).

Lisa Golightly

03-04-2009, 12:00 PM

As I said jruiz... they are out there, but they already know the 'scene' and are known in it... Some forums also have more females actively seeking cd's... Not really seen many here... Only one that I'm aware of, but on others they are very visible, and can be quite forward. :)

battybattybats

03-04-2009, 12:13 PM

Sorry for posting word-by-word what I just posted in another thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1633656#post1633656), but I think that it applies here as well:

I think about the amount of teenage girls who plastered their walls with images of David Bowie, of Boy George, of Tim Curry as Dr Frankenfurter...

And not just the 80's teens either as these days it's Marilyn Manson, Davey Havok of AFI...

While a minority there are indeed of GG's who are attracted to transgender they aren't minute. I even know one in my own town, sadly attached. She's also attracted to effeminate but non-transgender guys too and one of them has already snapped her up. But it was an interesting conversation we had after I came out to her and she's suddenly showing me all these pics of transgender people she thought were particularly hot including several friends of hers both from online and offline.

And there have been a few GGs here who have made no secret of their attraction to CDs too. One Big Brother Australia contestant spoke of her ideal sexual partner being transgender!

I'm sure plenty of these GGs are in the closet about their attractions, and plenty have been snapped up by GMs cause all the TG folk were in the closet when they were available.

The question is, are there as many TG-attracted GGs as there are TGs attracted to GGs? I suspect there could be.

But even if there are they will likely be scattered and will struggle with all the social pressures against TGs too so many may keep their desires secret and instead marry the kind of husband their family and friends want them to.

We'll only know for sure when we break down enough of societies transphobia.

Kate Jennings

03-04-2009, 12:28 PM

A local charity does a drag show as a fundraiser. Two times after that show I went out with a group from the event. It was all safe and no one suspected that I liked dressing as much as I do! lol

I was shocked at the amount of women that approached me. Many asked "what it felt like for a guy to dress"?, a few asked "did I have a new appreciation of how hard it is to be a female"? Many said "Wow, you must be a great guy to want to go this far for charity"

The best, and yet, most suprising part of the evening were the women that asked if they could kiss me...a few said they had bisexual fantasies, that they never acted on and they wanted to see what it was like to kiss a woman in a "safe" way.

I've been to that bar as a guy a few times and nary a connection with anyone...All in all, if you want to do well with women...dress as a a woman !

Jess_cd32

03-04-2009, 12:31 PM

I think the ones that chat you up as you say have many various reasons, some curiousity, some maybe other 'intentions' on their mind.

CharleneT

03-04-2009, 12:49 PM

I agree with the majority of observations here.... but...

I believe that times "They are a changin'". I have noticed, on a dating site I belong to, that younger women are fine with CD's. The majority of users on this site are over 35 ( I think ) and that gives a particular view point. It is very accurate to say that women over 35 do not seek out CD's very often. Too bad for us, but the next generation down is very different. I am not sure I would say that a lot of the younger women on that site are actively seeking out CD's, but they obviously do not mind them one bit when you contact them. My biggest problem is that I am too old for them. BUT, if were 27 or so, I would be doing fine there.

jruiz

03-04-2009, 01:56 PM

Well, I'm not saying that they do not exist, just that they are not too frequent.

Many girls would approach, but being curious is not the same as being attracted.

Just read the stories in this forum. Many people struggling with their SO. Some of them with accepting wives, but usually after struggling a lot with it. It's rare to find a girls naturally attracted to CDs.

I've never read a story of a CD coming out and the SO telling "That's great, I'm so relieved. I was about to ask you to dress". I'm just trying to be honest here. I do crossdress, but I don't expect ladies to be attracted to it.

I know that some bearded ladies are happily married with guys that love them and that are attracted to them very much. Just most guys don't. And yes, these bearded ladies might be excellent professionals, have fun and go out and have a plenty life.

Sorry for not sugar coating things, but that's what I think.

Mistybtm

03-04-2009, 01:59 PM

At my first time go out dressed up, Can any one tell me why so many women tried to chat me up. Has this happened to others.

please let us in on your special place :D

JeanneF

03-04-2009, 02:20 PM

I believe that times "They are a changin'". I have noticed, on a dating site I belong to, that younger women are fine with CD's. The majority of users on this site are over 35 ( I think ) and that gives a particular view point. It is very accurate to say that women over 35 do not seek out CD's very often. Too bad for us, but the next generation down is very different. I am not sure I would say that a lot of the younger women on that site are actively seeking out CD's, but they obviously do not mind them one bit when you contact them. My biggest problem is that I am too old for them. BUT, if were 27 or so, I would be doing fine there.

I have to second the notion about the "younguns" being much more okay with gender flexiblity than older women. Prior to getting married last fall, I was out and about as a girl for a couple of years, going drinking and clubbing pretty regularly. I have to say, it was pretty much a no-brainer that I would meet at least one girl a night who was completely enamored with me. Without question I was more successful with girls while dressed than as a boy.

I think it has a lot to do with the non-threatening aspect of it. Unlike your average uber-macho douchebag at a bar, a guy in heels is pretty likely to not be a date rapist. Plus, you bring something different to the table. It's a great icebreaker and then the girl finds out that you're an interesting person and fun to hang out with...and then...:D

I do have to agree with "GGs are okay with crossdressing as long as it's not their husband". There is a big difference between having drinks or hooking up with a guy in a dress and staying with that person for the long term.

Nicki B

03-04-2009, 05:25 PM

Are we talking chatting up, or just chatting to?

My experience is conversation is easy - but women don't tend to see us as targets to get into bed unless they are admirers (there are a few, but they're not that common) or lesbian and see you as femme?

i'm sure most of the unattached cds on this forum would like to know where you go because they are not lucky enough to meet ggs that accept them.

Acceptance by genetic women is, I would suggest, by far the norm?

MissConstrued

03-05-2009, 12:21 AM

I have to say, it was pretty much a no-brainer that I would meet at least one girl a night who was completely enamored with me. Without question I was more successful with girls while dressed than as a boy.

Hey! A kindred spirit! I do meet and hook up with girls in guy mode, but I do even better in girl mode. And yes, I do mean more than just friends! I could do without hearing of the "girl troubles" though (they know damn well I can't commiserate, but unload anyway), but the ends justify the means, as they say....

I think it has a lot to do with the non-threatening aspect of it. Unlike your average uber-macho douchebag at a bar, a guy in heels is pretty likely to not be a date rapist.

Sharing the mirror in the ladies' loo to touch up lipstick, then having her drag you home... that's quite an interesting experience. :D

One thing, though... other than looking the part, I don't pretend to be a girl. I always use my natural voice, my real name, and don't really act much differently than I normally do. I don't know what's going on, but it's working for me. Life is a blast since I escaped the closet!

Prost! :drink:

JoannaCaroline

03-05-2009, 05:28 AM

T

When you are comfortable, that shows.

Example: Your out at a club, there is a CD or GG, off in the corner, head down, looking almost like cat in a room full of dogs, towards the center of the room, there is another CD or GG, head up, shoulders back, smile on their face, obviously enjoying themselves, which one would you talk to first?

This is meant to bring up a question and not be mean. I hope I can make it sound that way. Intertwined has a good point in the quote above and a lot of others have made similar points. My question is this. If so many of the girls on this forum have so much success talking, chatting, getting hit on by GG's in public and you dont..... you might want to ask yourself what you're doing wrong!

MsJanessa

03-05-2009, 09:21 AM

My personal experience is that some GGs will hit on you and others will just want to talk to someone they see as non-threatening in a sexual way---whichever it is, my advice is to just relax and enjoy it.

MissConstrued

03-05-2009, 11:53 AM

If so many of the girls on this forum have so much success talking, chatting, getting hit on by GG's in public and you dont..... you might want to ask yourself what you're doing wrong!

I believe, just as Intertwined suggests, that confidence or self-esteem is the biggest factor in attracting women. If you have it, it doesn't matter how you're dressed, or how handsome/ugly/fat/skinny/tall/short/weird you are. You'll see that couple now and then, and wonder "how did that ugly ******* land a babe like that?" That's the answer.

JeanneF

03-05-2009, 12:15 PM

One thing, though... other than looking the part, I don't pretend to be a girl. I always use my natural voice, my real name, and don't really act much differently than I normally do. I don't know what's going on, but it's working for me. Life is a blast since I escaped the closet!

Same here. The only place where I'm "Lisa" anymore is on Teh Interweb. In the real world I just go by my real name (which is unisex in pronunciation, if not in spelling).

Intertwined

03-07-2009, 03:15 AM

I think in 1983, Cyndi Lauper said it best. "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" :brolleyes:

iwearstockings

03-07-2009, 04:48 AM

women that don't know you from Adam are intrigued by it .. I have been asked all sorts of questions by GG's I have met in clubs. Of course they are the GG that went to such clubs in the first place..

iwearstockings

03-07-2009, 04:49 AM

Leslie Foxx

03-07-2009, 01:29 PM

I've been chatted up and even hit on, mostly by younger GGs (thirty and under crowd) nearly every time I go out. These have been both straight and lesbian GGs. For some it was "where can I get shoes like that?". Some are curious in a friendly, non threatened way. Some want to feel my boobs. Others just want to dance, and one even invited me home with her. I declined, when I discovered she lived just around the corner from my home.

Most all of my tgirl friends have had similar experiences whether they are out for the evening, shopping, or just having a cup of coffee somewhere.

In general, I've found most of the GGs who are of my generation are much more stand offish.