If you died today who would find your stuff

[Jessica Keys]

Hi,
As a closet C/D I have always thought about this. I once saw a movie of some military men before a battle tell his buddy what to do with a taped over shoebox that could not be sent to his wife should he be killed.
How many of us are in that same position today with our cross dressing?:daydreaming:
Jessica

[Jess_cd32]

My SO knows now so I'm assuming she would just toss everything.

[Persephone]

If you're worried, keep all your stuff in one box. Leave it in the garage with a note on it. The note is addressed to you and reads, "Please hold this stuff for me. Thanks," After that, end the note with the name of the guy you hate the worst.

[jruiz]

If you're worried, keep all your stuff in one box. Leave it in the garage with a note on it. The note is addressed to you and reads, "Please hold this stuff for me. Thanks," After that, end the note with the name of the guy you hate the worst.

Great idea!. Going right know to look for the sharpie :D

[suezeq]

we have 3 girls only one knows and she says that she will have a very good wardrobe shame about the shoes

[Kate Simmons]

It's in plain sight even though I haven't been using it lately. My family knows anyway. Hopefully, they would be able to put it to good use by giving it to someone in need.:)

[DAWNB]

Since the wife knows she'll be the one to dispose of it. It is all in one closet in a room that I use for my other "hobby". Disposal probably be to give all items in good shape to a local charity thrift shop. I do like the one idea though of marking it so that a guy I might not like gets it.

[Tal'Aura]

If you're worried, keep all your stuff in one box. Leave it in the garage with a note on it. The note is addressed to you and reads, "Please hold this stuff for me. Thanks," After that, end the note with the name of the guy you hate the worst.

Jolan Tru,

Forensic analysis can easily bring the truth to daylight.

[Holly]

My wife will find it. She won't have to look too hard... it's hanging in the closet right next to her things. :D

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

If I died today, my wife would easily find my stuff. You see, she's the one who bought most of it for me! :)

This is something I used to think about before coming out to my wife though. I was always uncomfortable with the thought of her finding my secret stash. I also figured she'd figure things out when she found it and probably still love me. If she didn't, well - I'd be dead and it probably wouldn't bother me too much at that point. ;)

It does sit easier on the mind when the one you live with knows. :)

[Debie]

That would be scary. My wife and family do not know as I am :chained: to the closet, I think I need to figure out the one guy I hate the most.

[TommiTN]

I guess the cops would find it when my sister calls them to check on me because I haven't answered the phone or emails for a few days. It won't matter to me one iota who finds it. I'll be taking a dirt nap.

[VtVicky]

I have most of my stuff in a couple of foot lockers. I have a note on each with instructions to burn without opening after I die. My GGSO says I'm nuts if I think my family, especially my daughter, will do that. She may be right.

Oh Well! That's what they get for not following my wishes. My SO lives a lot closer to me than my family. Hopefully, she will get to it first.

This, of course, presents a bit of a dilemma. Do you want a quick surprise death, with no chance of purging? Or, a longerer, lingering disease with time to cover your tracks?

[Tina B.]

I guess if I go first, my wife will have a lot more room in the closet, and a lot more jewelry, and what she doesn't want she knows a nice consignment shop, that she has given a lot of my old stuff to in the past, thanks to my old stuff they think she has good taste in clothes. I have always wondered what those women would say if they knew what they where buying came from a guy!
Tina

[Shelly Preston]

Well it would not be a case of finding it

My wife has known my clothes are beside hers and have been for a long time

[kristinacd55]

my wife, no problem. Of course, if she died with me? ruh roh!

[Empress Lainie]

Doesn't bother me as my kids know I am living female now.
They may be shocked if they read my stories.

[Phyliss]

Presuming my wife has to dispose of my clothes, there wouldn't be any schock about the clothing. If she were to start adding up the total cost, well, that just might cause her to "join" me in the hereafter. I don't think she fully understands just how much I've spent over the years.
If my daughter has to "clean out" my things, she might grab what she thinks will fit her, and the rest would go to charity.
If my brother has to do the "cleanup" .... well, I'd kinda like to be able to see the expression on his face.

[Penny]

Jennifer Love Huitt on Friday at 8pm EST. on CBS!

Seriously, wife. What's mine is hers and what's hers is hers.

:hugs:

Penny

[Amalia]

This isn't a topic i generally like to think about.... but my mum and dad would find my stuff. It'd be kinda interesting to know if they'd tell the rest of my immediate family or not.

[gretchen2]

Hopefully my so, soon to be wife. If that does not work out then my parents. To bad for them.

[imarocker2]

I have a pact with an old friend (who has no idea). If he dies, I miss the funeral and break into his house and steal his computer and a box in the garage (wonder what he is in to) and he will do the same for me.

[emily_21]

I'll be dead, so does it really matter who finds out? The family would find out eventually anyways.

[TaylorAB]

It's hard to tell. My parents live about a hour away but don't drive very much anymore. I'm figuring that the landlord or a coworker who knows I dress would be the first to see my things and then my parents and sister. Who knows maybe my coworker would hide the stuff if she arrived on the scene first. Hmm? I guess I could ask her to remove my things should something happen to me. I believe that she would do that for me. In any case if my demise comes quickly, people finding my things is probably going to be the very last thing on my mind.

[NancyTO]

I plan to take it all with me. I have the perfect dress picked out for me for the funeral viewing. :devil:

[Picklebob]

Parents (Shudder). I'm a college student, and as far as they know, am "normal" and well adjusted. They would be shocked to everything that I have hidden.

[Marjory]

You're dead... who cares?

[Marie O]

My Wife knows all about Marie! After all she named Her! No one else knows. My wife has always told me that when I die she is going to have me dressed enfemme for my funeral! But if we happened to go together, :eek:

[Sharon B.]

That thought crossed my mind early last month as I had to go to the ER for a badly sprained ankle.
I swore to myself that I would clean up the house of all feminine items, that lasted about a week or two. I still don't have my feminine clothes hanging in the closet like I used to, but there is enough things laying around that someone would expect that a woman lives here.
I guess I would have to say one of my sisters from out of town would find my stash of feminine items and such.

[aprilgirl]

There was a time when this hypothetical question used to bother me. My fear was what would my family members or friends, whomever came across my femme things, would think of me. Sure you're gone, but I would like to be remembered for who I was, at least as they knew me. Today I feel a bit of remorse, as those who know me have'nt had the opportunity to know this small, yet significant part of my personality.

To answer the original question, my supportive girlfriend would donate my things to charitable organizations. I would hope she would get a receipt and write it off.

[Sarah_GG]

Persephone said
If you're worried, keep all your stuff in one box

How BIG exactly would that ONE box be?!

:D

[janexx]

This has worried me - especialy as I have undergone a couple of operations and no one, as far as I know, realises I am a fairly serious CD.

I love the idea of a locked case addressed to a person you dont like!!!!

Now who can I think of...........................

[Sarasometimes]

I am working on this issue. Most of my stuff may go unfounded but there still are enough other things that would be discovered. I am thinking that I should put a letter of explanation in with the clothes. I know alot of you are asking why keep the secret but each person's situation is unique. i like the name on the box idea.

[debbeelee1]

If I went first, my SO would dispose of my stuff, if we went together, and that is quite possible because we drive a truck together, then her daughter would dispose of my stuff; Ive already shown her were everything is and what to get rid of. If all three of us went together, then it wouldn't matter because it would probably be the end of the world anyway!

[Shiny]

Yeah, in getting older myself I wonder about that from time to time. I like the idea of leaving the stuff in a box in the garage with a note making it look like you are holding the items for someone else but in my case that simply isn't realistic anymore. I have way more lingerie than any "sane" woman would ever own (especially these days when most women don't even have a pair of pantyhose!) and my dresser and lingerie collection looks like it belongs more in the 1950's than in the 21st century! Too many house dresses and formal gowns and even a petticoat or two brim the closets as well! I won't go into the 5 inch stiletto heel collection.

Nope, I may have to take that one on the chin, a final smirk at the character that was once me, from those who stumble upon me as they finally start digging and sorting through my earthly belongings.

Sure, they'll find that old pocket knife, a small teddy bear and a cloth beanie, a few grade school report cards from my childhood, a couple cub scout badges and a few love letters too and maybe that old pinch-hitter now lying dusty from the mists of time sitting at the back of the desk drawer amongst the old rubberbands and bent paperclips and pens that are long dry.

There are few people of consequence in my circle of family of friends. My parents are long gone which thankfully spares them from any embarrassment. I as with most CD's am mostly a loner and have few solid friends so I don't really care. But I think I'll let the clothes just hang where they are, I spent too much to pitch them now. And besides I have a sister who's nearly my size who might get a kick out of all that stuff, but then again she's strictly the cotton panties, blue jeans and sweatshirt type and that's a shame!

But, alas they'll probably find the "Klinger Collection." The only note I can think of leaving should I deem to is a piece of paper taped to the hangar rod that would be easily visable the moment the closet door was opened. That note would simply say "surprise!"

[Berta82]

I have been thinking about this recently with surgery looming next month. I like the idea of a note in the boxes. I have 1 box of intimate items and 1 box of clothing and shoes. I would have my wife dispose of the intimates and donate the clothing and shoes. It would be up to her to open my closet and let out the news.

[SusanMarie]

who is an 'F' according to the previously posted non poll.
I hope she keeps what she likes and puts the rest on ebay.

[TSchapes]

But I've always worried about my kid finding out if something happened to both of us. Or what if one of my other relatives had to deal with it.

So this bothered me enough to really do something about it. And this letter is what I came up with and is in every dresser and closet where Tracy's stuff is at. I posted the following on my blog Tracy's Happy Place (http://tracyschapes.blogspot.com/2008/03/on-serious-note-surprise-letter.html).


On a Serious Note... The Surprise Letter
An issue has crossed my mind and it has become more poignant since a recent passing of a close relative. What would go through someones mind if they were to find my female attire and did not know I was a crossdresser? How can I fill them in, so to speak, and not make matters worse?

I posed this question on the message boards at www.crossdressers.com. And after talking to the wonderful girls there, I have decided that a letter left in each storage area, (closet, box, trunk, etc.) should have the same letter explaining briefly what they see before them. I have interjected some humor into it because that is my nature and I wanted them to know that this is not a dire situation. I will probably add things to it as I refine the letter, but I wanted to get something out sooner than later.

So, here is my first attempt at my "Surprise Letter":


If you have found this letter, either:

1. I have died, or
2. You are looking somewhere where you shouldn't be. (please put this letter away now and beg for my forgiveness)

If I have died and you knew I was a crossdresser, congratulations! This means I trusted you, and you understood and loved me no matter who or what I was.

Now, if you didn't know, either I:

1. Don't know you
2. Was afraid of what you might have thought and how you might react, or
3. Was protecting you because you were too young to fully understand

First of all, this is not a dire situation. I would have preferred to tell everyone from the rooftop. But still, in this day and age, there is still a stigma attached to crossdressing.

If this is all new to you, some background may be in order. For those of you that this is old news, maybe just a review.

I was a crossdresser from a very young age of 9 or 10. I loved girl clothes and wanted to dress like a girl long before puberty. Over the years I've dressed in women's clothes and have been out in public dressed. There was a female component to my personality that needed an outlet. I have displayed pictures of myself on-line, but used an assumed name of Tracy Schapes. You may find numerous pictures of myself dressed as female either on my computer or other storage mediums. This was a way for me to critique myself about being a more passable girl. This is a very common goal for crossdressers. I was not gay. Not that I thought that would be bad, I just wasn't wired that way. Nor did I want to have a sex change. I enjoyed the duality of the situation.

I could go on, but if this is all new to you and I'm not answering the questions you may have, may I suggest you join a website like www.crossdressers.com. This is a great community of crossdressers; and loved ones and friends that support them. I'm sure you can talk and ask them any questions and they will be able to tell you more. You may also read my posts on crossdressers.com to maybe understand my feelings at the time. Just do a find a TSchapes.

For what to do with all these clothes, wigs and my salute to Imelda Marcos shoe collecting. May I suggest a cancer center for the wigs and everything else to the Salvation Army. There is no reason now to worry about my reputation and anybody seeing this stuff. It might as well be used for a good cause.

If I shared this side with you while I was alive, bless you. If not, I wish I could have, we would have had a wonderful time.

Love, xxxxxxx (Tracy Schapes)

BTW, the gag you describe may work, but only if you don't die with your dress and heals on. :brolleyes:

-Tracy

[brittneygirlsa]

The answer here seems quite simple:

1. hide it too well.

2. Place your stuff in a box and glue a note to the inside panel of the box explaining everything.

For example:

"Everyone in their lives has a secret. Our secrets are what keep us all sane. They are our escape, help us to realize the world around us, and bring us peace when faced with inner and outer turmoil.

My secret is that my soul has no gender. No one's does. Only the natural human body carries sexual traits, but those traits are different from gender traits. My body was mostly male. Because of that, I spent my life outside being the best male I could be. Everything I did, whether it was being a good father or son or husband or coach, or whatever, was sacrificed for good and done to the greatest of my care and abilities.

I never shared the secret that my soul was also feminine. I tried going through life without expressing that side of me because it would have interfered with all the other good things I was doing at the time and would have not been understood by others. My personal expressions of my femininity were as much a part of me and my personality as any other part of my personality. They also defined the person I was and even though you probably never knew of the girl inside of me, you loved me because of her.

Inside this box lies the earthly remains of that side of me. Please treat them with all the respect that you gave the male side of me. You may donate them to charity or do as you please, but please know that they never ever interfered with the good I did in my life or the love I had for others. Without them, you would have never known me."

[windycissy]

I keep my stash in a storage locker that nobody knows about, paid for in cash every month...I guess if something happens to me, eventually the storage guys will bust off the lock and hopefully they'll give my stuff to goodwill, or sell it to a salvage company...talk about depressing!

[Raya]

I guess it depends on how my sister feels at the moment. She knows everything, but she and my Mom don't always get along. If my sister's mad at her, I wouldn't put it past her to let my mom find it all, just to spite her.

My mom knows I have makeup and has even seen me with some of it on. She either hasn't put two and two together, or she doesn't want to be the first one to ask the question...

Everyone else I care about, already knows. Everyone else who doesn't know, I don't care about.

[linnea]

I've thought about it off and on for sometime. I'm going to tell a very good friend to try to take care of it for me, but once I've died, it really doesn't matter to me and the living can take care of how to handle it so that it doesn't matter to them.
Nonetheless, I will instruct my friend to get my stash, destroy it, and keep my secret.

[Cristi]

My wife knows (and my 'stuff' is all over the house) so no problem there. She'll probably just bring it all to the thrift shop... though I suspect she might hang on to a few things to remember me by. She'll also finally get her hands on all my nice jewelry, which she already borrows on a regular basis.

But I've sometimes thought about who would get the job if we both died at the same time. I suspect it would probably be my mother or my sister (or both). My wife doesn't have any family in the area, so it would be somebody in mine.

My mother probably wouldn't really care much. My sister is a huge gossip. If she was part of the 'clean-up' of the house, she'd be spreading the word ("Guess what *I* found at his house?") within hours.

Oh well. As others have said, at that point I'll be well beyond caring who knows.

[Sigrid Cutie]

my wife knows so she would probably toss it all out as we are not the same size :)

but if we both go , then my guess is that no one would know because who is to say that dress was mine and not my wife's ;)

[Billie Jean]

My daughters, they have both seen me dressed. Billie Jean

[Debbie E]

Shiny, how well said.

[Tasha McIntyre]

Only my wife. She is the only one I have allowed to enter the world of Tash :)

[Patricia_Marie]

If my wife survives me, she'd be the one. She'd probably toss most of my stuff, even though most of is her size, because it's too feminine for her. She's more of at jeans and sweatshirt kind of girl, while I prefer dresses and skirts. ;o) Though as I age, I'm getting into pants more.

If she goes before me or with me, it'd be up to my number two daughter. I hope her husband doesn't help her. She knows and was my first photographer. (At age 11) Her husband is a bit homophobic and associates cross-dressing with gays. Maybe I should mention to her that she should take care of my stuff alone.

[lingerieLiz]

When I was hospitalized in the service the first thing I thought about was, hope they don't open the box that is wrapped as a gift.

One of the guys in my unit bought his girlfriend a negligee and hung it in his locker until he got to see her on the weekend. We had an inspection on Friday. No one locked their lockers anyway so the officer opened it just to meet requirements and there it was. A few of us were in the barracks. He made a smart ass comment and the few of us that were there assured him that he wore it to sleep in. The officer's only comment was, "he must look lovely" as he left. It may have been because we were all laughing so hard. We did have fun with him about it.

[FoxyFriend]

[QUOTE=Shiny;1634861] And besides I have a sister who's nearly my size who might get a kick out of all that stuff, but then again she's strictly the cotton panties, blue jeans and sweatshirt type and that's a shame!
QUOTE]

That's what my sister thinks...oh how little she knows. and I'm a gg

FF

[kellycan27]

Doesn't matter in the least,probably the cops.

[iwearstockings]

My S/O can ebay it to you lot!

[Sakura Rini]

i would have to say my mum or dad whould if it cleaning out my stuff, its not hard to find, lol