Update - Kids. electro, HRT, ffs

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I can't beleive i almost have 1000 posts.....:daydreaming:

anyway...
Kids - i told them a month ago or so...they are taking it well...but over the last week i can see some issues developing with mom, and i think they are talking about me...my youngest daugher asked me why i was getting so negative and i know that is not coming from her....we are still doing everything together but as i mentioned in a previous post, I'm only slowly starting to present in my correct gender role, most with jewelry and my ridiculously longish, thick and wavy hair (dont hate me)...i continue to think that they will thrive and i just need to be patient.....i know i changed their lives and i just have to respect that.

Electro - i made a big mistake planning things out...that mistake was years ago...i've been secretly knowing this was going to happen since 2005/06, but i never got electrolysis...i did have some laser and that was partially effective but i'm mostly gray bearded....so i've been through 2 weeklong marathons ("clearings") and its made a huge difference but i have to wait about 8 weeks between clearings and i dont shave...the reason not to shave is i'm getting those soft downy hairs which a.) i want to keep and b.) by not shaving my electrologist can leave those hairs and the cost of 2nd clearing was 1/2 the first!!!..... i am not going to be finished with this for 16 weeks!!!!
So i'm making up for lost time...i feel really stupid about this but i simply didnt know how much time electrolysis would take..:bonk:

I really dont present very well as female with a beard...beleive it or not, sometimes i still feel like i have to, and i cover up my dark hairs and wear low key clothes....i get alot of looks, but so far not a problem...i think this is good for me, because it helps develop a thicker skin for me...
for example, i'm going to get my hair done in 2 or 3 weeks....i'll have a grey beard, and basically a mop on my head...they are gonna get a kick out of me for sure..but thats ok

also, i've had electrolysis and laser "down there" and please girls if you are going to get this.....IT"S NOT BAD!!!!!! i was so scared but i was totally surprised...i got the area numbed with lydocaine..but i barely felt the shots and then 2 hrs later i was cleared....so if you are putting this off out of fear...i'm telling you it was easier....in fact the upper lip, and the cheekbones were much worse..

parents....the best....nothing more to say

friends - i've made so many great friends, some of them new, and some old friends have really stepped up to support me...so i'm doing well and i have a great support network that keeps me level headed

job...i'm on leave right now....i have a severance that kicks in when they don't hire me...the nice part of leave is i keep my health care and i also keep it during severance...but honestly i have no fricking idea what i'm gonna do..i was in finance ....not the best place to be right now and i think any chance of being rehired after leave is very low

HRT....i am seeing steady slow progesss.....i'm 1/2 way between A and B cup and its been since july...my mom and sister are quite large chested ...
i've been able to keep the weight down and i've lost those nasty spontaneous erections but i still have function down there (altho nothing comes out)...but i can still feel good...i am not feeling like a different person, i crave salt, i cry alot more, and the feelings i'm not used to are causing me alot of obsessive and sad thinking, so I'm seeing a shrink and the meds are helping...

ffs....this is the biggie...i'm not passable without a wig, but based on the advice i've gotten from some of the top ffs folks out there...i should be passable or close after surgery...i have this in my mind as the date my full time changeover will truly start...
my therapist thinks it might be good for me to start sooner, and then i'll be even happier with whatever results i get, but i have this beard problem ...
so i'm going to get an eyelift, and a trachea shave in may, and then do the bigger surgery in aug/sept, maybe i'll feel more confident without the adams apple..

talk about exciting and terrifying at the same time!!

so that's just one girls story...its long but hopefully it will help somebody out there think through what they are going through...:hugs:

[Karen564]

Thanks for sharing sis,
You've been a busy little bee....and congrats on your progress, I'm so proud you!!!
I'm pretty much going through the same process with my kids too, and trying to get them used to seeing me more fem slowly over time, than doing an overnight changeover so I dont traumatize them more than I need to, because they have openly told me their scared about it, and their concerned for me too.

I also have the graybeard problem, so laser wont help me much there, that's why I was asking you about it a while back, remember?, the cost of the electrolysis will be a big problem for me at this time, and I'm not going full time until I have it taken care of 1st and a couple of other things, after that I'll take it as it comes, I dont believe I will need too much as far as FFS, just a few things, a nose job being my #1 priority, and some upper & lower eye work to freshen me up a bit, A hairline revision, and another huge expense is to get all my teeth done, either implants or veneers, and an upper lip lift so I can show off my new teeth when I smile, that's very, very important to me, but not sure I will need a trachea shave since my adams apple never showed, so well see about that later after I hit my wieght goal..
I'm hoping to have the name changed legally this year, but that's still up in the air until I can get some things in order 1st, possibly looking for a new profession being one of them..
So many choices and so little money...

Karen

[Anna the Dub]

Making good progress Michele!

I have been reading quite a few of the girls' stories, and I am astonished at how easy all of you find getting rid of the beard growth is. I have been going to electrolysis for nearly 2 years now, and I still have a long way to go. It has lessened considerably, but I still have to shave every day. Until that is sorted, I feel I cannot transition, as I just wouldn't be able to go around with 3 days beard growth (need to grow it for 3 days for my electrolysis sessions) whilst trying to present as a female. Really gets me down.

[Lisa Golightly]

It's a hell of a journey isn't it... *hug*

[GypsyKaren]

Michelle, it sounds like your moving forward quite well, you have a good head on your shoulders and that's something I've always respected you for.

Karen :g2:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Karen
heh....my heads not the problem :daydreaming:

it's the rest of my body!!

thnx for kind words and likewise!!:hugs:

[jennylw2]

Hi Michelle. You are doing fantastic. I'm glad everything is coming along for you. I can't wait to see you again. Good news... or I think it is anyway. I had my first laser today and I scheduled the next for when you're in town. We'll get to suffer together yay! lol

Oh by the way, thank you for not telling me how unbelievably painful laser is. I don't think I would have gone if you had lol. OMG that hurt so bad. Steph wanted to really get after this beard of mine so she gave me both barrels, full blast. Yeah, I cried like a little girl lol. After surviving that I decided I deserved a shopping spree. I bought a wig and a crap load of new clothes. All in all a great day.

["Mary"]

Good luck in all of this Michelle - sounds like it's all working ut pretty well.

Best Wishes.

Mary

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

It sounds like your transition is going well for you, I hope mine when it starts goes as smooth. I understand now what you said about planning the hair removal especially on the face. My problem is that my finances aren't the best, right now I can afford the counseling with Dr Osborne and and do the HRT but the repetitive hair removal sessions would be difficult to afford.

I am happy for you and maybe someday can meet you. :battingeyelashes: