Would you transition if you could pass? [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Maddie22

03-09-2009, 12:11 AM

There are some girls in here that can pass very easily and some that can not. I am one that can not pass because of height, foot size, and hand size mostly. (6'6'' with a size 15 and hands to match) I was wondering if some of you choose not to transition and take the cd further because of passing issues.

If I was a smaller person I think I would actually transition and possibly go for the total operation.

I guess what I am asking is how many people will not fully go through SRS or even living full time because of physical issues.

I've been thinking of an end goal is to be some what androgynous like Jeffree Star, but much more conservative business like presentation (not sure if that can be pulled off)
Then again, I'm really not sure what it is I want in the future.

All I know if there was a magic genie that could grant me a wish of being re-born as a female I would take that wish.
But because of my physical characteristics I can never really pass with out getting a lot of stairs so I don't plan as of now to ever fully transition.

Is anyone else like this as well?? Limited to not transitioning because of physical appearance?

PanteeQueen

03-09-2009, 12:15 AM

I would definatly transition as I can wear heels better than my wife. Although, I have a very masculine face and don't know what to do about it.

kellycan27

03-09-2009, 01:44 AM

I know an airline pilot who flys for a Major airline. he has to be at least 6'5", and has huge hands and feet. He fully transitioned a few years ago. He's Sara now and and the last time i talked to her she was extremely happy.

ReineD

03-09-2009, 01:59 AM

I would definatly transition as I can wear heels better than my wife. Although, I have a very masculine face and don't know what to do about it.

Think very carefully about this PQ. It takes more than an ability to walk on heels to transition successfully. :)

You are new here, and I would like to welcome you. I also suggest you visit the Transsexual Forum and Body Issues for insight about transition.

PennyUK

03-09-2009, 02:14 AM

In a heart beat :)

Delila

03-09-2009, 02:25 AM

I have thought intensively about this question. If I had not met my wife and fallen in love then I would definately go for the full transition that is if my body type could manage it. I absolutely do not have the body type to make the transition or the masculine face. But the ultimate reality is that I love my wife so much that even if my body were different I would not chose to transition for any reason.

Lisa Golightly

03-09-2009, 02:26 AM

Speaking as a TS, but not for the TS's such considerations just don't really come in to it... I'm 5' 11", and would love to be tiny... waif-like... with a gorgeous voice *sigh* But, I need to be the true me above anything else... and I really am so happy in comparison to a couple of years ago :)

Awwwww smiley Lisa :)

xxx

Ashlyee Paige

03-09-2009, 03:25 AM

I would definatly transition as I can wear heels better than my wife. Although, I have a very masculine face and don't know what to do about it.

Just a tad bit more than being able to walk in heels sweetie :> alot of gg's cant even walk in heels so its not a requirement. A few buckets full of tears (literaly) is more the start.

Gabrielle Hermosa

03-09-2009, 03:40 AM

I don't quite pass either. I'm a bit tall for a woman, although not over 6'. My adam's apple, man shoulders and arms make it hard for me to look completely feminine in person, though I can minimize their look somewhat in photos.

I've actually seen very attractive gg's who were very tall - taller than me, but also proportionate in their dimensions. Because of this, I don't think that height alone has too much to do with it, although it does draw more attention.

In terms of transitioning, I don't have any interest in SRS personally. If there were a pill that could magically make me into a female, I would not take that either. I like being a guy who can transform into a woman (or the appearance there of) when I want. Although I'd prefer to spend more time en femme than in man-mode, I don't want to surgically alter my man parts.

If there were a pill that allowed me to transform into a woman temporarily, I might try something like that, but I don't want give up my man side all together.

Leanne2

03-09-2009, 06:19 AM

I can pass most of the time and I'm pretty big at 5'10" and 220 lbs. But I'm too old to transition. Actually I was happy to be just a CD until a few years ago. I could see myself as a non-op transsexual eventually. Or maybe this is just a phase that I'm going through.
Like most of us, I have a lot invested in the male part of my life such as family and career. And I'm not willing to give that up now. Leanne

JoannaCaroline

03-09-2009, 06:26 AM

I debated transition many years ago. In my early 30's I had the chance to live full time for a brief period. I came to the realization that there are too many things I enjoy about being a boi (I know I spell that funny). I was living in NYC, enjoying and hating the city. As a personal choice I decided I didn't want to choose one gender. I do want to switch back and forth.

So I'm setting up my life where I can just say,,,I'm going to live as a woman for a month, a year or whatever or the other way around.

In the end, I think it's a good idea for everyone to think about what they really want and need. Then look at what it will cost you, in terms of money, friends, family and decide what you want to do. Most of us, me included, spend to much time dreaming about what we want and being unhappy because none of it ever happens. It's usually our own fault it never happens. I truly wished I had made a lot of my decision 10-15 years earlier than I did. Like a lot of us. I would love to be 25 right now, with the knowledge/experience I have. This is true of being TG as well as in life.

Kate Simmons

03-09-2009, 06:27 AM

I dunno, you talk of magic and genies. That smacks of fantasy. When we are talking transition, we are talking about very serious issues indeed. Be careful what you wish for. Once it's cut off we can't put it back. In addition, many of us are so used to the so-called "male privalege" we would not be able to get along without it despite what we say here about how much we "hate" being a guy.

In any case, passing is the least of it and we should be concentrating on how we deal with and process the feelings more than anything else and that, in itself, will indicate whether or not we may need to transition.

StaceyJane

03-09-2009, 06:50 AM

I'm wearing heels right now!!
Still I think I could pass or do well enough as a woman. It's just my fear and other things that are important in my life that I have to consider.
so for now at least Im still a guy on the outside.

RobynB

03-09-2009, 06:56 AM

No, I would not. I enjoy being a boy and a gurl.

Tal'Aura

03-09-2009, 07:40 AM

Jolan Tru,

Luckily, I am not big, tall and manly, so with a little effort I could pass with ease (at least I believe so). Yes, I am more robust than most girls, but this is nothing that couldn't be masked and concealed. In short, I will transition in a blink of eye if there wouldn't be social and financial obstacles.

TGMarla

03-09-2009, 07:51 AM

It's way more complicated than just being able to pass. Heck, if you transition, you're going to present as female whether you pass or not. Certainly, being viewed as a pretty woman beats the heck out of the alternative should one choose to transition. But there are still all the other elements involved that one needs to take into consideration. It is these other things that led me to the decision that transition is not where my path leads. Being able to pass as a female does not alter that decision. However, if I were to transition, I'd certainly want to look presentable as a woman. But it is not the primary concern in deciding whether or not to transition.

PanteeQueen

03-09-2009, 08:09 AM

I know that there is more than just being able to wear heels. However, I can't explain the feeling that I get when I am crossdressing that I would totally transition.

PQ

kristinacd55

03-09-2009, 08:19 AM

would you transition if you could pass?
It's all in a person's mind, not their appearance

03-09-2009, 08:20 AM

passing is so overrated. transition is not as easy as some think. be careful what you wish for :hugs:

GypsyKaren

03-09-2009, 08:24 AM

I transitioned and had SRS because it was the only way I could survive any longer, that's how it is for most of us, and how I look never came up in the decision making process. It would be nice if everything could have been perfect and all wrapped up in a pretty little package, but nothing in life comes delivered that way so I didn't see the point in denying myself with this. Forget all of the talk about a "magic pill" because it wouldn't work even if it existed, transitioning and living as a woman takes confidence and guts, not looks.

Karen :g2:

erica31

03-09-2009, 09:04 AM

I wouldn't make a convincing female. I don't have many feminine characteristics and family, friends and my work keep me in the closet. I think it would be nice to have SRS at some point in the future though but still maintain an outward male appearance.

ReineD

03-09-2009, 10:03 AM

PQ, thanks for your message. :hugs: I did get that you know there is more involved, but my tongue in cheek answer didn't come off too well. I'm sorry.

Arianna and Karen put it much better than me. I've read enough here to know that intense feelings of pleasure when dressing doesn't necessarily mean that a TG is TS. There are difficult aspects to transitioning you can read about in the TS forums and as everyone else says, it is not a decision that can be made lightly.

Maddie22

03-09-2009, 10:37 AM

I am well of aware of the other aspects of transitioning and how they are just as important or more important than the aspect of passing or being a presentable female. However being comfortable and confident in thet way one looks is and can be very important as well. I know there are no magic genes or pills. For that matter having some sort of psycho-therapy where you could cease the dressing and feeling you have would be another alternative because I have already invested in a male life and the proper body to live on in.
All being said, the therapy does not exisit, and I still have this feeling that things are not right.
The way you look is not all there is in life, but lets face it, we live in a materialistic world. Unfortuantely the better looking you are the more opportunities you have in a generalized setting and most other things being equal (It is true, there are studies done that two people with the exact qualifications the better looking person will get the job) That is just facing reality.
I want to be successful in life and have career goals, and being a TG that is not presentable does not help the situation at all, especially since what I will do most likely is in some sort of hospitality section dealing with the public.
There are a lot of decisions to be made as well as sacrifices and reality checks of what is best for my situation and mental health.

Brandiwvr

03-09-2009, 10:42 AM

as one who lives both genders at the same time, I wont live my life for someone else. my life is mine and to surender it to what others may think is wrong. I am often asked what gender i am but if they need to know they are probably lookintg for a reason to not approve. I dont seek others approval just mine. why be one or the other? why not just be me? and yes i am single by choice.I had a great relationship that was lost due to her passing but still enjoy my kids. we can conform to a safe and respectfull person but be are selves at the same time. itsw not easy but being just male I had those who didnt care for me also, brandi

DameErrant

03-09-2009, 12:02 PM

Back when I came out to my wife, she asked all the usual questions, and out of fairness to her I went back and did some soul searching about who I am and what I want. So I can answer these questions as I did to her.

I would not want to transition permanently, I enjoy being a man. Now if there was a way to switch back and forth easily, or even with some inconvenience, I would love to try it.

Being 6'-0" in my silk stocking feet, and around 170# at my best, I will never be passable the way some lucky girls on this site can. But I would be happy if I could pass as a big girl. The more I really look around, rather than just look at the skinny girls, the more women I see who match my body type. So if I could pass as one of those, I would be more than content.

Now if I fancied men, I could try to pick a boy friend who was about 6'-6" and built accordingly, then I would look just right in proportion. (Yes, I did tell you that I thought about all this stuff so I could give my wife honest answers. So no, I do not fancy men, and objectifying a friend to use as a prop would be so uncool....)

Jess_cd32

03-09-2009, 12:13 PM

.......All I know if there was a magic genie that could grant me a wish of being re-born as a female I would take that wish.

Not me, I enjoy my male side as much as my female side and happily integrated the two without any more tug of war going on.
I'm glad I have both.
When the question/poll was asked not long ago if you could take a pill and be a female for 24 hours and other options, one being a full time female, the being a 24 hour female then reverting back to male was #1 pick. I chose that as well, it would be interesting to do if possible, but not something I'd want full time.

.......Is anyone else like this as well?? Limited to not transitioning because of physical appearance?

I think if someone really wants to transition they will regardless of appearance, thats not going to stop them from being who they truly want to be and who they really are.

Babette

03-09-2009, 12:26 PM

.... I was wondering if some of you choose not to transition and take the cd further because of passing issues...

I guess what I am asking is how many people will not fully go through SRS or even living full time because of physical issues...

...Is anyone else like this as well?? Limited to not transitioning because of physical appearance?..

Becca, you have asked several questions here but I think they all boil down to one; are my physical limitations keeping me from going through SRS?

For me, the answer does not hinge on passing or not. I am content with who I am at present. Like most, I am anything but perfect. If I were, then goals and self improvement are out the window. I kind of like challenges anyway. Even if I was the most passable person on Earth, I'm staying the course and saying no to SRS.

Hope this helps.

Babette

JoAnne Wheeler

03-09-2009, 12:40 PM

N O ! I love to dress and feel feminine as much as I can, but there are

some things that even males can enjoy - I am happy living the best of both

worlds.

JoAnne Wheeler

Deborah Jane

03-09-2009, 01:14 PM

Not a chance!!
I enjoy my crossdressing and everything that goes with it, but i also enjoy being a guy as well.
Being D**** is just as much fun as being Debs, i just enjoy doing differant things as Debs as to what i do as D****.

Lorileah

03-09-2009, 01:22 PM

wait a second while I put on my body armor.

There.

My age is the major limiting factor here. 30 years ago, if I had the money and they could do the great job making everything look real, it would have been a definite possibility. I think I could have pulled it off too. But thing were different back then.

Now, I don't think it is likely. Of course the question is am I transsexual? I think I am more just a contented CD now. As a younger person, I would have had all the possibilities for a future then, marriage and home life. Now? Who would want his old queen?

Shikyo

03-09-2009, 01:53 PM

Yep, I would go all the way no matter how I'd look. It is not so much about physical looks, but more about the mental. The birth defect between my legs is slowly, but surely killing me. It would happen no matter how I look. The least I can do is the get as close to what I mentally am.

Not going all the way would just be the biggest mistake in my whole life.

Alana65

03-09-2009, 01:59 PM

MissConstrued

03-09-2009, 02:00 PM

Of course the question is am I transsexual? I think I am more just a contented CD now.

So you grew out of it?

Did that possibly have anything to do with the increased levels of acceptance of CD'ing over time? Where perhaps you no longer felt like such an outcast that you had to go all the way to complete outcast? (Mental process here?)

I believe that future generations are going to be used to the idea that some folks like to float between genders, or wear what they please, and that as "TG" kids are more accepted, they'll feel less like there is something horribly wrong with them. I predict a drastic drop in SRS as more kids learn to accept themselves as they are.

Denise01

03-09-2009, 02:12 PM

your height of 6'6 i dont think is a major factor, as I know more than one GG that is 6'5 to 6'6.

As to transitioning if one could pass. I have seen and know some gg's that look more masculine and act more masculine than they do femme.

Would I transition: In a minuet. The only thing that has stopped me at present is a family business. Hopefully within a year I will be relocated, at which time I will continue my transition, fully including SRS.

I feel more comfortable out as Denise, than i do drab, and when i do have to present Drab, that is harder some days than the actual work that i am doing

Denise

:):):):)

Dorisnycd

03-09-2009, 02:24 PM

There have been times in my life it is all i thought about, but, I realize that I loved being both. Honestly, I have not had sex as a "man" in almost 5 years! I love being a cd with a man. I date men as their gal and love it. I love making love as a cd gal. But I know it is both the erotic enticement that I am more than a woman and it is what the men I date like as well. I know I will never fully transition, but I also spend 70% of my personal time as a cd girl. I go to sleep as a girl and wake as a girl, I date as a girl, make love as a girl. I also get to be a tall handsome man when I want (ok, I hope i'm handsome!) Seems like my life is good that way!

joann07

03-09-2009, 02:50 PM

I am fortunate that my height and size are relatively close to the average of most women and my body characteristics allow me to pass and blend in very well.
I've never taken any kind of hormones nor had any kind of feminization surgery.
I am happy at where I am and I have no intentions of going through any type transition.

Hugs!

dilane

03-09-2009, 03:12 PM

The answer is ... maybe!

I wouldn't transition unless I was 99% accepted as a woman. I wouldn't want to be full-time and still be seen as a T-girl by most people I interact with.

I get out alot, into the real world, including social dancing at straight venues. I've done jury duty, taken dance lessons, and spent beaucoup hours out and about.

I'm lucky enough to be only in the top 3-5% of caucasian GG height (5-8 1/2), which is tall, but not too unusual, and I have a slender build. However, my face is not that great: I don't have a vertical forehead, narrow or even average sized nose, or shallow chin, but I make do.

I pass reasonably well, but I do get read, especially when interacting for any length of time with GG's, even though my voice is pretty good, and I think I vibe female pretty well. As to the men who dance with me, I have a don't ask/don't tell rule, but I don't lead them on :-)

Among GG's, if you do a good job, I find a high level of acceptance, which is great. I find that the women I meet in clubs are very nice and welcoming to me.

So even though I'm more experienced and comfortable out and about than most, I wouldn't consider transitioning until I felt I was in almost complete control over who knew of my T status.

Finally, there's *so* much more to blending in than looking good in a picture, or when sitting quietly :-).

Lorileah

03-09-2009, 03:26 PM

So you grew out of it?

Now you KNOW better than me growing up or out of anything :)

"Did that possibly have anything to do with the increased levels of acceptance of CD'ing over time? Where perhaps you no longer felt like such an outcast that you had to go all the way to complete outcast? (Mental process here?)"

Maybe some but I also think that women hold a lot more power when they are younger. Honestly, I have often thought I was born into the wrong body but now that body has been paid for and I don't think I can get the financing to get a new one ;)

"I believe that future generations are going to be used to the idea that some folks like to float between genders, or wear what they please, and that as "TG" kids are more accepted, they'll feel less like there is something horribly wrong with them. I predict a drastic drop in SRS as more kids learn to accept themselves as they are."

What about now though? It won't help me if I am long gone (except they will visit this forum in 50 years and say Dang she was HOT!) I do see the younger people being more accepting of us though. But at my age I would be transitioning and going through menopause at the same time...what fun would that be?

linnea

03-09-2009, 04:09 PM

There was a time when I might have transitioned--a long time ago (if today's conditions and technology had been available). I remember reading about Christine Jorgensen in LIFE magazine. I was not only fascinated but also frustrated that Christine's transition had become the focus of national and international scrutiny and (to many) scandal. Still, in my quiet and deep thoughts, I wanted to be like her, to become a woman. But I was conditioned and I conditioned myself to believe that such a change was not really possible for me and that I had to be the best man I could be. That is what I have done in public while in private and in secret I have crossdressed for decades.

Sam-antha

03-09-2009, 05:43 PM

I think the original post title says it all. The title is conditional...."would you if you could...". That in my book means that you cannot pass at the present time for any number of reasons.
The statement therefore contains much wishful thinking. It is that type of thinking which has to be filled with anticipatory happiness.
Now, in the past (decades back, when I could), I might have, if the science had been there. It was not then possible technically and I am glad that it was not.
I am a very happy bunny with the mix that I am. I know the two different ways of life and they are wonderful.
~Samm

LisaM

03-09-2009, 07:24 PM

I stopped transitioning when I was 22 because I didn't think I could pass at 6'3'' and 170 pounds. In hindsight, I was wrong---not in not transitioning but at thinking I couldn't pass because of my height. The transitioning issue is more complicated.

Ballerina

03-09-2009, 07:30 PM

I stopped, and thought of transitioning as a tattoo, "is it something that I could really live with my whole life". I just couldn't do it. If I were to transition, I'd feel like I would have lost another part of me. I enjoy being a guy at times. Also, the upkeep from being a garrish looking guy to a cute girl all the time would be too hard :D

Now, if there were a machine or something of the like to transform me from male to female as I wished... That'd be a whole different story! lol!

Shayna2008

03-09-2009, 08:27 PM

If I had a better body for it I could easily see myself transitioning at some point. Big hands and feet are issues though. My build isn't traditionally fem either (6ft 180-190lbs).

Then again, attitude changes with time. I find myself caring less and less about such things when I consider living in some sort of gender-limbo my whole life - never being able to feel totally comfortable...always wondering...I can't see myself doing that for my whole life. When I compare my physical issues to something like that, big hands/feet don't seem like such a huge mountain of a problem. I'd rather be a tall woman with remarkably huge hands and feet.

I'd just refer to myself as a "heavy-duty woman" :D

cutegirllisa

03-09-2009, 08:50 PM

I know I can't pass but if I could I would just love if I were a woman. It would take many surgeries hope not training for my thinking I relate as a female well I think . I would do it

Ronni Seymour

03-09-2009, 09:05 PM

No I wouldn't. I find comfort in my male skin, like an old comfortable shoe. On the other hand, I love the occasional foray into Carol. At times she wants center stage more than others, but I don't think she could ever be comfortable having it all the time. Besides, there are a lot of people in my life to consider. I don't live in a vacumm. As others have said, a very serious understaking, transitioning.

Kimberly Marie Kelly

03-09-2009, 09:43 PM

And if I wasn't passable I would still consider transitioning, as I would be me. :battingeyelashes:

ashes

03-09-2009, 09:47 PM

Wow... thats alot to think about. There's a lot to consider. My biggest issue wouldn't be looks. It would be family. When im en femme it feels... good. Though i don't feel as though I'm a girl. Nor do i feel completely like a guy. I don't think i would. LIMBO ROCKS!!!!!!

suchacutie

03-09-2009, 10:47 PM

My fantasy would be to share genders 50/50: literally half time in each gender.

It's been almost 4 years now since I abruptly started dressing, and the learning curve has been incredibly steep. The physical changeover to Tina is now something that happens pretty easily: nails, clothes, makeup, wig, breastforms, tucking, and my weight is down enough that I'm very close to a perfect size 8 on the bottom and 18 on top (bones just don't budge!), so even though I'm a bit "strong" on top, it can be hidden reasonably well. I can walk in the highest heels for hours there is no maleness left in that walk when Tina is around.

Now I'm seriously working on the voice, and the psychology of being feminine: thought patterns, speech patterns, etc. This is the hard stuff but I am very serious that when I'm Tina I want to be TINA!!!! and not partly HIM. So does that make me transgendered? Well, I guess at least part of the time, if that's possible. Oddly enough, it's not that I'm doing this to try to pass. Tina could never be in public and it would still be important for her to be feminine in every way possible. What's important is that she feel terrific about herself! Let me say that again...I'm doing all this so that Tina is all she can be and so that she is content with herself.

So is it transitioning to live as a woman for a few days each week? two weeks each month? I do make things so complicated sometimes!!!

Tina :)

Maddie22

03-09-2009, 11:59 PM

Ashes, I agree my biggest issue first off would be my family. However the physical part is still a role. I know that there are a lot of girls (well not a lot but are some) that are my height. It is not common, but not unheard of. As of now I have goals to things I'd like to change just to see if I could feel more comfortable in my own skin.
For Instances 1.) Although it is permanent, I would get Laser hair removal from my back up
2.) get minor facial surgery (one to fix my smile and and maybe slight facial femm)
3.) work on my voice (I've seen tutorials on youtube about voice changing, not sure how it works or how easy, but worth a try)
4.) Grow my hair out to where I could style it in a femme way and back

I believe that with these steps I could really have a feel for how passable I may be with out telling a whole lot of people and nothing so permanent where I could not go back. I would not take hormonze at that point in time

Also a secure job would help and good community. At that point in time I could also work on family issues.

Linnea, I know how you feel about being conditioned and living your life as a man openly, but cding behind closed doors and wishing there was a way you could change and learning of someone else who transitioned and wishing to do the same.
I remember when I was younger watching the Mary Tyler Moore show (I think it was at least) and there was a skit where she came back to her high school reunion where she used to be the Star QB of her football team, but had a sex change operation. I did not know that was possible until then when my sister confirmed it, and I remember thinking to myself that will be me some time.
Feeling hasn't left me since, but I have been conditioned to be a male.
I still have this overwhelming sense that consumes me that I am not right that I won't be until I do change.
But all of the complexities that goes into a full transition are and can be very overhelming and scary. Passing is a part of that, and is just something that I decided to bring up in this post.
I guess in a way I'm trying to figure out in one aspect if the end justifys the means.

tamarav

03-10-2009, 07:21 AM

Personally I see this question as a fantasy question. Transitioning has nothing to do with passing, they are two completely different issues. One has nothing to do with the other, although passing could be an asset but is not necessary. Someone doesn't just decide to transition because of their shoe size or how they look, they are born with an inherent issues that puts them at odds with reality.

People that transition do so in spite of appearance while dressed. Many CDs get so caught up in the pink fog and think that actually being a woman is so neat that they fantasize about actually becoming one while not realizing the extent of that journey.

Being a woman or a man is not an easy thing and when we think we can just cut across this gender barrier and become the other, it points out the lack of internal drive.

Chari

03-10-2009, 07:38 AM

Transitioning the physical shape is easy compared to transitioning the mind!

Anna the Dub

03-10-2009, 07:50 AM

Would I transition if I could pass? In a heartbeat. But then, I am going to transition even if I don't pass. I am currently preparing for it, passing would be lovely, a real confidence booster, but I am going to do it irregardless.

Sarah...

03-10-2009, 08:32 AM

Is anyone else like this as well?? Limited to not transitioning because of physical appearance?

No. I'm a female person but the outside packaging is slightly wrong. So I'm going through the long process of transitioning to put that mostly right. Passing doesn't come into it at all and I'm not yet contemplating surgery of any kind. Instead I'm going through HRT, hair removal, name change and possibly GRC eventually. So the physical interventions I am undergoing are mild and designed to "soften" my appearance slightly but otherwise I don't really want to lose the essential me. The GRC is the most important bit I think - the simple piece of paper that says I was born female. For me it's relational - present as female because I am and then any questions or issues that arise can be discussed and answers given.

Confidence in who I am seems, from personal experience, to be the key. Presenting myself as myself whatever kind of clothes I'm wearing seems to be working wonders for my enjoyment of life. It's also causing people I meet or know already or who see me in passing to question their understanding of what my gender is. I've seen the looks and furtive whispering when I'm presenting as male as well as when female.

So, on reflection, it seems quite simple to me.:heehee:

Sarah...

Sammy777

03-10-2009, 10:05 AM

Would you transition if you could pass?

Me personally,
No I would not transition and no it has nothing to do with if I would "pass" or not.

I may not know what exactly I am, but I do know what I am not, a TS.

Someone, somewhere on this forum once said:
"If you have to ask [in your transsexual] then your not.

I do not think that if someone feels the need to transition and go through SRS
[that is able to do it] that passing has anything to do with.

The way I see it is,
Once you go through with SRS,
you leave "passing" at the door, among "other" things.

There is no more passing after that, only living.
Passing is [quite frankly] a man that is trying to look like a women.
You will no longer be trying to pass [as a women] because you would now be one.

Do you ask unattractive or tall females if they have problems passing??? Errrrr NO.

Sure, you may not walk out of the operation with the body of a 22yr old girl but I think the fact that you do walk out a women is the real reason behind TS going through SRS, not how much they think they will look like a women afterwards.

In my "unedumacated" head I think that someone who is truly transsexual and wishing SRS is more concerned about being the women they feel they should have been at birth and not so much what that women may or may not look like in the mirror when they are done. But that's just me.

Candy Heels

03-10-2009, 10:55 AM

In a heart beat!!!

Carole Cross

03-10-2009, 12:40 PM

I am very masculine in appearance but i still want to transition because I cannot see a future the way I am. I have done a lot of research before taking this decision and I know that I will probably never pass convincingly, but I will be a lot happier within myself and feel a more complete person without the stress and pain that I have today. :daydreaming:

Bridget Fitzgerald

03-10-2009, 03:14 PM

Sometimes I boil down what I read in theses threads as confidence being largely paramount. So, if I feel confident, no need to shave or even wear girl clothes. Just walk out the door as is, stoke your inner delusion, ignore the realities of how people process visual clues, and demand to be treated as a woman (because you are). :heehee:

Amelia Moxon

03-10-2009, 05:18 PM

Personally no I wouldn't. As nice as dressing is I have no desire to become a woman full time I like my (predominantly) male side too. I would simply like to be able do wear what I please, when I please (within reason of course).

Amelia xxx

kellycan27

03-10-2009, 07:10 PM

I didn't really see it as a choice. I mean if I wanted to live and be happy. I think that if you are transgendered, your transgendered. i am kind of getting the idea that some might think it would be cool to be a woman, kind of crossdressing gone wild.maybe feeling like a woman when dressed as a woman. As opposed to being born transgendered and feeling like a woman 24/7 dressed or in drab. Feeling that you were just born in the wrong body. From what I gather from the transgendered people I know and from my own experiences passing or not passing is least of our worries. it's not how we look on the outside,but what we are and feel on the inside. If we can change that through SRS and or hormones, so much the better. But even if we don't pass, I think that most transgendered people would transition if it were logistically possible.
I am probably one of the luckier transexuals at 5'7",145, size 8 shoe, more petite, and with softer features. I believe that 9 times out of 10 I can pass. But even if I was 6'3" and manly looking, I would transition if it were possible.

Donnadcd

03-10-2009, 07:42 PM

Every day I find myself getting closer and closer to taking that big step. It's not if anymore - it's just a matter of when.

AimeeJ

03-10-2009, 07:52 PM

i might...but i don't want to lose my man parts ;)

noeleena

03-11-2009, 05:22 AM

hi... a ?? here . on becoming a women ... is that the ?? or is it a word used to imply .. some one is not a women because their body does not line up with how they think ...i have seen this quite a bit so was just wondering ....
The other ?? is would you go on h r t & have s r s & so on ...if you could ...not pass . how does a male think concerning this ... because a male dresses in womens clothes does not make a women as we know . yet some who do as has been said . i wonder why .they do ...some of us have no opstion we are driven to do so because we are just that women ...which makes it very hard for us to do so ...some of us any way.
Now this ?? does not get much of a airing who here would wont to have all of that .. that pertains to having babys . most men i know would ..no way ... wont to . so the line is drawn. that sets us apart from the males we,,, would have our own babys . just we lack our womb .....how many here would if they could ....just a thought ...
...noeleena...

tricia_uktv

03-11-2009, 05:35 AM

How ever good we are its almost impossible to pass in every situation. I seem to do ok at it now and am used and quite happy yo be out and about as Tricia. For now I like both sides of me. I am still bringing up children (who know) but in about eighteen months I may be free to make a decision. Transitioning though is a major, major thing to do. I will bide my time but I haven't written the idea off.

vivianann

03-11-2009, 06:07 AM

I do not pass as a woman, but I go out in public enfemme anyway, and I am accepted every where I go. passing is not the answer to be accepted as a woman. It takes self confidence, and determination, accepting yourself for who you are, and the courage to be who you are in public. I am transitioning to living full time as a woman, and do not want srs. I am tg, and I am not going to give up my car hobby, as a woman I can enjoy my car collection.
One of the reasons I am transitioning is I am much more comfortable as a woman.
I am somewhat effeminate, and I am complete when enfemme.
I have big hands and feet, but so do some women, I am 5'10" tall, alot of women are that tall too, I wear 2 to 3 inch heels.
I do know a GG that is 6' 8" tall, and she does look very feminine still.

Carly D.

03-11-2009, 11:42 AM

No, I like being a guy.. however I would like to be passable.. if by some article of clothing, like some magical earrings or a shade of lipstick or something to make me passable for eight hours.. to see how it feels to look like I want to look.. or should I say to not feel like I don't belong...

Sharon

03-11-2009, 11:43 AM

All I know if there was a magic genie that could grant me a wish of being re-born as a female I would take that wish.
But because of my physical characteristics I can never really pass with out getting a lot of stairs so I don't plan as of now to ever fully transition.

Is anyone else like this as well?? Limited to not transitioning because of physical appearance?

Whether you pass or not is irrelevant if you are transsexual. Transitioning is just something that you need to do, though family, financial and other reasons could play a major factor in whether you ultimately do so or not.

The only transitioning that truly matters is your own mental and emotional "transition." Is your need to live your life as you want (actually, it's more a need than mere desire) to live it more important than fears about your physical appearance? If not, then I question whether your desires are nothing more than fantasy.

Lisa Golightly

03-11-2009, 11:48 AM

Whether you pass or not is irrelevant if you are transsexual. Transitioning is just something that you need to do, though family, financial and other reasons could play a major factor in whether you ultimately do so or not.

The only transitioning that truly matters is your own mental and emotional "transition." Is your need to live your life as you want (actually, it's more a need than mere desire) to live it more important than fears about your physical appearance? If not, then I question whether your desires are nothing more than fantasy.

Hurrah!!!! :clap:

TxKimberly

03-16-2009, 08:39 PM

Nope, I would not. I have a wife two children and another on the way. When I told my wife over 21 years ago, I promised two things:
- I will not take hormones
- I will not alter my body

That promise is a fairly good bargain for 21 years of love and three babies, so I will continue to bounce back and forth. :-)

secretcdjess

03-16-2009, 08:56 PM

kathrynjanos

03-16-2009, 09:24 PM

Oh god, this question again. In some ways I'm lucky. I do not have STRONG masculine lines for the most part, possibly excepting my chin. Even my shoulders aren't super broad.

I am 6'4, size 12 shoes, but not really any hips. If I go for SRS (and I'm thinking about at least components of those, it depends on my money situation and my status in romance), it'll probably be before I'm older than lower 30s. It's difficult because I don't have any money for it, and I'm getting nowhere as of right now.

All of this comes with the caveat that I will see a counselor for at least 3-6 months to come to a preliminary determination. I already know myself to be androgynous and fairly unhappy with a masculine body.

I want to start hormones, I'm pretty sure of that. The sooner I can do that, the better. I've done a LOT of research in the last few weeks on that subject, so I'm already aware of a lot of questions to ask and certain meds to ask for. That's a huge first step.

From there, I'd like to go for breast augmentation, as I don't expect at this point in my life that I'll get very large breasts via hormones. Not that I want huge knockers, quite the opposite, just something to grab onto. :heehee: At the same time, I might have some sort of hip padding done - depends on cost. That said, I have a big butt already. Think "President Scroob" in Space Balls.

After that, I really do think I'd go for some sort of facial feminization surgery, as I have a strong jawline, and I'd like to have my adam's apple trimmed down, which I've heard they do now as well. Falling into this category may also be vocal surgery. I have no idea what's involved though.

The final step would be SRS. I don't know for sure if I'm up for that. The risks are a big deal to me, even if that can be largely avoided by choosing a very good surgeon and doing research. I also don't know how I'd deal with it if I'm in a relationship and my SO objected to that. I am not happy with the male anatomy, even if I'm operational, look good, and considered to be an excellent example in that regard according to several non-objective witnesses. But if my SO objects strongly, and I am truly in love with her, I will be willing to keep it for her. I can always proceed later if we should separate.

kathrynjanos

03-16-2009, 09:30 PM

I'm young and I hear the time to transition is now, but I feel I'd almost never be passable! I'm looking for help because if I can gather just a bit more confidence in my femininity, I'd LOVE to transition!

Hi Jess,

For starters, I'd suggest that you put up some pictures to let us give you some positive feedback. If you ask for truly honest and straightforward advice on how you look now and where to go from here, I think you'll get some good feedback.

My suggestion to you is that if you are willing to do so, go to a makeup counter at a major dept. store. Have them do a full workup on you, ask them for tips on how to hide masculine features, etc. Go to a store that sells breast forms, ask them for a fitting. Wear a shirt you'd like to see your new cleavage peeking out from so you know what it looks like through clothes.

Get a wig, even a medium range cheap one.

I think the more you think about it, the more you get to know how you want to go. Besides, look at some of the video-blogs on YouTube and see what they looked like before the transition. You'll find that many of them look like very handsome men beforehand. Now some of them are VERY attractive women. Don't be discouraged by the massive jump, remember that this takes YEARS to do right! But if you take the time, it will all be worth it!

Melissa Anne

03-17-2009, 08:24 AM

I've been out in public a few times now and I've apparently had no problems passing as far as I can tell. But, I have no desire to go full time femme. I like my male side and doing "male" things. My wife needs her husband and my kids need their dad. I am totally ok with my occasional trips over to the female side.

alexmusic

03-17-2009, 09:25 AM

Lately I’ve been seriously considering transitioning but I am aware that is not a simple thing. Lately I have made some major improvements in how I look when en fem and I think that has sparked the desire in me, just because the better I look and the closer to passing I get the more I want to experience it, but I also have to take into consideration that what I am feeling is probably just momentary excitement due to a major fantasy becoming a reality for me and I need more time to really mull this over it is a major life decision.

There are things I enjoy about being a boi and I think I have this opportunity to be both and need to appreciate that and live this life and hopefully in the next one, if reincarnation does exist, I will be a GG

sometimes_miss

03-17-2009, 11:28 AM

My subconscious has craved everything female for almost as long as I can remember; but transitioning wouldn't make me any happier. After all, I could never imagine having any type of intimate relationship with a man, and the number of women interested in mtf TS's is even less than that of those interested in CD'ers, so I would be just as lonely as I am now (although perhaps the chances would increase, because at least I'd be 'out'. Next, mention that people in my field of work can spot most TS's, and I'm not really sure I would ever 'pass' completely. Add to that, at my age for a woman the absolute best years are pretty much over, and I have my answer. No.

Cary

03-17-2009, 11:30 AM

No.:)

maid phylis

03-17-2009, 02:26 PM

when i was younger i always wanted to be a woman.but back in the late 50s and early 60 s it would have been impossible for me .if time could go back and i was in my 20s before i got married i would have done it in a heart beat.:love:phylisanne

dilane

03-17-2009, 04:22 PM

The three happy post-op's I know are totally passable. The less passable ones seem to have many more difficulties, unless they were born with a hard teflon shell, not that its a bowl of cherries for anyone. The pretty ones get asked out alot, they have close girlfriends, etc.

My experience with many friends who started out as CD's and TV's is that the really passable ones have a high probability of going on to transition & srs. And the less passable ones are much less likely to progress in that direction. So I think t-girls do make that calculation -- will I be accepted as a woman, will I blend in?

But even the golden ones have angst moments about coming out to friends and lovers; one was seriously talking marriage with her bf before she disclosed. That was a disaster, of course, and she now discloses early.

I'm not transitioned, but I have had laser/electro, done HRT, and spent hundreds of days in femme mode in the real world over 18 years. I know that's not the same thing as fulltime. But I think life would be very tough for me if I were fulltime and readily readable. I have so much more fun and have made many friends as my presentation has improved over the years.

SANDRA MICHELLE

03-17-2009, 04:29 PM

No! I could look pretty good as a woman but do have many "manly" charecteristics. It is not that for me, it's family and such that would keep me from going all the way. I do wish to have breast implants and may some day go that route but I'll always be a man in a dress and I am way cool with that!!!

charlie

03-17-2009, 04:53 PM

Hello Becca!
I'm married and like to be a spouse to my wife. I also love to dress. As such, I would never transition even though I think I get by in the passing department.

donnaking

03-17-2009, 05:25 PM

StevieTV

03-17-2009, 07:05 PM

I had no idea there was a test involved in order to transition. I need to study some more :eek:

Bluesman

03-17-2009, 07:26 PM

I wouldn't even if I could pass. I'm just a garden-variety CD, not TS.

Angie G

03-17-2009, 07:42 PM

I'm a good size fot it but the one big thing stoping meis my wife.:hugs:
Angie

MichelleW126

03-17-2009, 07:43 PM

If I can pass I will. We'll see what long hair does for me :)

Vivian Chen

03-18-2009, 12:46 AM

No, probably not. The grass is always greener on the otherside, or at least until you find that it's astroturf...

Anyways, no.

tessera

03-18-2009, 01:03 AM

i can totally pass as a female, walking in any type of heel is no problem, i am only 5'7 135 lbs, wide hips, very nice legs, and my adams apple is not big at all. i recently went out to take my dog for a walk (fully dressed for the first time) with my girlfriend of 2 years. she is fully supportive and even takes me shopping for womens clothes. i would totally transition if i had not met her, but i am happy with my lifestyle as is she

oh yeah and i wear a womens size 8 shoe so its not hard for me to find shoes