Fully Dressed infront of Wife for First time

[RobertaM]

Tonight I finally did it. Dress head to toe tranformation in front of my wife.

She knows of my crossdressing for 10 years, married for 20. She had see me in a mini and heels the odd time in the bedroom or when both kids are a school. I had not really developed a full look and equipment to fully dress untill recently.

Our relation ship related to dressing was one of tolerance , "dont tell dont ask". I would fetish dress the odd time with her in bed thou.

I had decided to come out of the closet in public but not with family and friends. I have done this with with various transgender communities in greater vancouver.

Anyways,, her reaction was
She said "I looked very feminine" didnt freak out. It was all good, and I took a deep breath, nd we talked about my xdressing for an hour or so. and we lived happly ever after, lol. She tried on one of my wigs and we had a laugh about it.

She recognized that i was having fun with it and needed my space. She saw that i was happy because of the ability for me to explore my fem side. Her concern was that it can become to much and how I would control the balance with the real world.

I did not know how to answer that ,, i guess we need to set boundaries.

Thoughts Everyone?

ps. pic attached that she took of me. What ya think team. Not to bad.

[Delila]

I am in almost this exact situation with my wife. The way that I convinced her that I would not take things overboard was to explain that I really did not want that and asked for the favor that if things went beyond her comfort zone that she let me know and that way I would know that I needed to tone it back some.

[Shelly Preston]

It sounds to me as if it all went very well

You and your wife will be able to sort some sort of boundaries that you are both happy with

nice pic too :)

[deja true]

Good for you Roberta...

If you're having fun with it, and now she can see a little humor in it, too (the wig episode), then maybe you could have a talk about the "Pink Fog" and ask her to be your official pink fog detector! When she thinks you're going a little over the line, she could give you the buzzer (in a nice way, of course...) and you (without argument) can back off!

;)

[LisaElizabeth]

Boundaries are good.. I mean marriage is a kind of 'give and take' relationship anyway... So why would crossdressing not be a part of that system?
I guess I see it as coming to a balance between your desires and her tolerance of those desires. At least that is how my wife and I have come to view it. It works for us, maybe not for everyone.
It is good to talk about it and then see what she can tolerate, then decide if you can live within those guidlines!! (After all... those of us that are married know only too well... If Mama ain't happy, then Nobody is happy!!)
Huggs and COMMUNICATE!!!!
Lisa E

Today is 'Barbie's' 50th Birthday!!!

[Mrs. X (gg)]

Boundaries have worked wonderfully between future hubby and I.

We as loving mates are willing to meet you guys/girlz half way but only if our feelings and thoughts are respected.

I still remember when I saw her for the first time...oh I was so nervous and so was she of course. Now Im kind of amazed how he turns into she with such dedication and detail, I know for sure is all about the journey and to feel as a lady for a lil time. No harm in that.

Always remember that take it a step a time for her, I know for sure that she will learn how to appreciate the process if you involve her and stay within her comfort zone, I've been there. Besides this can only make your marriage stronger, you took it to the next level sweety....ENJOY!!!! ;)

[Shannon]

Congratulations Roberta. Set boundaries, then honor and respect them. Best wishes.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

My Spouse thinks that all I think about 24/7 is crossdressing and she is

scared that I think more about it than her. Try to keep things in

perspective.

JoAnne Wheeler

[Di]

AWESOME!!!!
Just some ideas
I would suggest telling her how much it meant to you....and figuring out boundries she will feel good about......like making time for you to enjoy this side whatever works for you both.....just do not push too much let her take the lead and tell her that would help you in controlling the balance with the real world figuring out boundries that she would feel good about.

[JulieC]

I am in almost this exact situation with my wife. The way that I convinced her that I would not take things overboard was to explain that I really did not want that and asked for the favor that if things went beyond her comfort zone that she let me know and that way I would know that I needed to tone it back some.

That's precisely what my wife and I have done. I made it very clear that I enjoy being a man too, even though I have a feminine side, that I had no intention of transitioning via surgery, or even living full time as a woman...it's just not what I want. I also plead with her to keep communicating with me, that I can't hope to help keep things happy if I don't know what she is feeling.

It's worked very well.

[krisinpink]

This is exactly the thread I've been looking for. My SO, a wonderful GG, is accepting (sort-of) of my crossdressing, and even helps me with it sometimes, but, we both know that we have to find a balance in our lives where my CDing is concerned.

We've been struggling to find an answer to this, but haven't yet. Is it something as clumsy as "You can wear skirts etc on Tuesday evenings and Sunday afternoons only" or is our best option to use the 'warning buzzer' as was suggested earlier that when either she is feeling drown in the pink fog, or I'm jonesen for pantyhose?

We talk about my desire to dress openly, of course I'd like to dress more often, but I want even more for *us* to be happy. (as do many of us here in this forum). I keep my fingernails short and unpainted, but do wear panties daily. She indulges me when we're out shopping, and I keep her in excellent supply of jewerly and shoes. Maybe we already have achieved this elusive 'balance'?? Does anyone here have any techniques or cues that you share with your SO to keep balance in your TG and non TG life that you would share on this forum?

The reason she first started OKing my attending CD groups was to try to find an answer to this balance question. I just don't feel like we have found a solid and tangible answer to this search for balance between CDing and 'normal' relations.

Sorry about the 'stream of consiousness' style of this posting, I hope that it can serve to foster more talk on this topic, and maybe even inspire someone to share something they've found that helps to maintain balance in their relationship.

hugs

Krissy

[linnea]

Take it slow and easy. Give her a chance to process what you have already done before you take any additional steps and talk!

[RobertaM]

thank you all for the positive feedback. and sugguestions.

Buzz, buzz zapp,,,,, damm,,, there she goes again,, I have to hide that damm thing.

xo ciao roberta

[LeslieSD]

She cares about you, so care about her more. Think about what she will think. Try to make her happy, and you will have your happiness too. :-)

[suchacutie]

This being feminine stuff is obviously new to those of us who have been fully dressed only recently. In all honesty, our abilities to determine what looks feminine is generally no where near as good as our spouses. After all, they are the real thing and grew up being educated to be feminine. Therefore...

My suggestion is to engage your wife as much as possible. Let her pick out your next complete outfit, wig to shoes. As her to critique your makeup. Ask her to help you figure out how to get color matched at a Mac counter or some other place (it's a real trip if you haven't done it, and I have a story if you need one!!!). Ask her if you can apply her nail polish so you can have the practice and experience (I'm told this is all the thing at younger girl sleepovers!).

Since she sees you are having fun with it, keep it light and make her realize, yet again, that you need her very much in this. I think these acts will set the stage for a conversation about what she is comfortable with. If she sees you are putting her first, her concerns first, and never want to give her any fears, life could be really quite nice :)

It is for me! Best of luck!

tina