How have you intergrated "you" into your life

[Modesty Blaise]

I'm in and hope to come out, but I'm struggling for lack of a roll model; how can I be a straight partner and parent and realize my feminine side in this world?
I think this goes to create many of our problems, there's so far no one around when we're growing up who we can point to and say "ah yes, I'm like them!" So...

Assuming you have, then how have you integrated CD/TG (or whatever non-binary option) into your life? And I guess for that matter what is that life, what're your circumstances?

All inspiration gratefully received!
Love
Modesty

[JoAnne Wheeler]

You sound like the majority of us - I do not think that there is a role model

We are all different and yet we are all the same - bound together by the

name - Crossdresser


JoAnne wheeler

[Kathi Lake]

Do you mean integrating dressing or integrating what we and the world perceives as "feminine" behaviors/mannerisms?

If you mean integrating dressing, I don't. When I'm dressed as a guy, I'm dressed as a guy and am fully guy. When I'm dressed as a girl, I go all out and am fully girl.

Mannerisms and behaviors, that's a different thing entirely. My wife has told me that it was my sensitivity, compassion and other "female" traits that initially attracted her to me (Her quote, "You're not like other guys." My quote (in my head), "Oh sister, you have no idea!" :)). I feel I integrate those qualities in my daily life pretty well. I love women and how they respond to things/people/events and try to emulate that when I can.

Kathi

[gretchen2]

You may not have grown up around them, but here on this website there are some very quality woman who we can look up to and get advice from. Veterans and non-vets who have developed a balance in both lives.

[Marshchild]

Ah yes, the lamentable lack of role models for people like us - something that can be more than a little disheartening. When I was in my teens and early twenties, and experimenting with my CDing, I decided that I essentially had to be my own role model, as I couldn't find anyone else who seemed to be doing exactly what I was (wearing girls'/women's clothing on an everyday basis, yet still presenting as a boy/man). I'd occasionally take inspiration from people like glam metal musicians (think the guys from a group like Motley Crue or Poison), who seemed able to dress like girls yet still get lots of respect, but at the same time I knew that there was ultimately no point idolizing or slavishly imitating anyone (particularly since I'd invariably find that their motivations for dressing the way they did would differ from mine on some fundamental points); I just had to be the unique individual I was. (A little later on, I discovered Eddie Izzard, who I'd say would be the closest thing I have to a role model nowadays, yet I still haven't given up my belief that my best role model is me!) Funnily enough, having just said all that, I've recently gained some additional role models in the form of cross-dressing characters I've created for novels I'm either writing now, or plan on writing in the future. Like I've heard a lot of writers do, I get fairly immersed in the worlds I create, and start thinking of the characters that inhabit them as real people (yes, it does make you question your sanity sometimes, but on the other hand, it really allows you to get into your characters' respective skins and make their experiences so much more real). So, yes, I've actually started to look up to some cross-dressers of my own creation, which I think is pretty cool.



Mannerisms and behaviors, that's a different thing entirely. My wife has told me that it was my sensitivity, compassion and other "female" traits that initially attracted her to me (Her quote, "You're not like other guys." My quote (in my head), "Oh sister, you have no idea!" :)).Kathi

I love stories like this! :o