"high maintenance"

[CDPAUL]

The other night my wife told me that looking like what a woman is expected to look llike is a lot of work. I said ok Then she explains that it takes hours to get ready to do anything and its not easy. Once again i say ok. She says being a woman is just "high maintenance"

Then she asks why would anyone who does not have to want to go through it all just to feel good?

my thought was "that's just part of it" kind of like the price we have to pay to for anything we enjoy.

What does everyone else think?

[ChibiKaiju]

Good things are worth the wait and effort :D

[kellycan27]

I think that that pretty much sums it up. In time it gets a little routine. I mean it kind of wears off after a while. Like on the weekends, I don't really bother too much. Jeans a blouse, a little lip gloss,tie my hair back,flats or sandals... and out the door.
I can see where the part time dresser, would want to get all girlied up when they do get the chance to dress. it just ads to the feel,it's what it's all about i suppose.

[suchacutie]

If there is one message I would like to get out to the world it's that those of us who have a need to explore our feminine side, have a need to "feel" feminine, or to transition fully aren't doing this just as a perverted lark! No one could appear to be as masochistic as someone attempting to live in two genders, or to transition from one to the other! I understand for some it's a fetish and maybe the maintenance is less for that, but for those of us living in two genders it's quite clear that only those really driven would attempt to do this. Our male bodies are not simple ready to conform to female norms! Heck, I've been at my eyebrows for almost 3 years and they are only now moved to where I want them!

We are committed...we have to be to keep doing it!

tina

[jenniferj]

The journey is its own reward.

Other than when I am rushed, I enjoy the process of bathing, shampooing, shaving, moisturizing, picking my undies, doing my makeup, curling my hair, ironing/fluffing my dresses, slipping the stockings up my legs, stepping into my shoes, slipping into my dress, unrolling/combing/spraying my hair, adding my jewelry and accessories, spritzing my perfume, and finally doing my nails.

This isn't maintenance; it's a delightful process!

Now my dear wife doesn't enjoy this process for herself and dresses much more casually - and always looks great. Not all GGs are high maintenance, nor are all CDs.

If you enjoy it; do it! If it seems like a chore (as it apparently does for your wife), don't do it.

Be happy!

-jj

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Tell its BECAUSE we love the going through getting dressed and ready - that

is part of it - we have to create this other woman - that is half the fun - the

other half is the excitement and joy that we get when we look at the finished

product along with acceptance and compliments.

JoAnne Wheeler

[kellycan27]

You said it girl!

[PanteeQueen]

I have to agree. Seeing something come together is half of the fun!!:)

[MsJanessa]

not necessarily true---I know a lot of GGs who don't seem to spend a lot of time on thier appearence and I know some who do---it's easy to tell the difference.

[Alana65]

Then she asks, why would anyone who does not have to, want to go through it all just to feel good?

That's something that I can't explain specifically (although I wish I could). The best I can come up with is that......with me anyway.....it's just an innate desire to rid myself of my masculine-side (even if it's only underdressing with forms) for a little while. CDing allows me to "be someone else" for a while and it calms/relaxes me......helps me "de-stress". Why ? That's the million dollar question.

[DonnaT]

Well, it doesn't take hours, with a little practise.

True, I enjoy the dressing and going out, but that's not why I dress. I dress to satisfy an urge that comes from within.

I don't itch because I enjoy the relief from scratching, I scratch to get rid of the itch.

[carol anne]

:love:Hi CDPaul, I just had to answer your post for a very unusual reason- it is where you live. I have been in Tullahoma just once- a very good friend of mine lives there otherwise I wouldn't have recognized the name of your city.
I too am a cd and have been for years. I enjoy the time we spend as we prepare for our time as women. I admit, if I had to spend the same amount of time to dress for my male activities as it does to prepare as Carol, it probably not be as much "fun" but fun it is to those of us who are part time women.
Incidentally, I enjoyed my visit to Tullahoma.
Carol Anne

[SherriePall]

For those of us who are males, the prepping and primping is a necessary means to become female or, at best, feel like one. Unfortunately, most of us can't simply toss on a skirt and top and go out as a woman. We must go through all the steps first.
Fortunately, for many of us, that necessity is also a time of enjoyment and relaxation.
The final product is its own reward.

[Tina B.]

Then she asks why would anyone who does not have to want to go through it all just to feel good? She gave you the answer when she asked the question.Just to feel good!What could be more important than that.
I don't find it to be a chore, I love the time I spend getting dressed,and playing with make up, and after 35 years of doing make up it never gets old.
Tina

[RylieCD]

Ive only tried makeup a few times and I would agree that it is too much work, maybe I would change my view with time but right now it is a lot of time, trouble and expense. Why do it? As you all know there is the inner need to express ourselves, why this way? I wish I knew. So from what I have learned about the female lifestyle, yes some of it can be High Maintenance but it can also be (I cant even find words to describe it), it is just who I am anymore, and who I have to live/deal with.

[Kate Simmons]

Well, I dunno really. Sometimes it's hard to tell who the real "girls" are but there is no doubt in my mind who the real women are. Some things you just cannot fake no matter how much time is spent.:)

[AllieSF]

Yes, it does take some time and special effort to get ready when going out. But in my short time exploring this side of my life (I am a late bloomer), I have found that I prefer to get ready quickly so that I have more time as the finished product to be out and about. Just driving dressed is fun for me. But my goal is to be out there eating at a nice restaurant, having a nice conversation with my dinner mate(s), talking with the waitress and even the table next to me, then heading out for an after dinner drink and good conversation. Interactions with others give me that great non-chemical high that I enjoy so much. So, the preparation is for me just a needed pain that takes too long that then allows me to really enjoy my time dressed.

[Ruth]

"why would anyone who does not have to, want to go through it all just to feel good?"
It's all in this question. Actually, women don't HAVE to go through all that. Sometimes they feel obliged to, sometimes they like to. Women like looking good: society's expectations are for a lot of detail work to be put in. Sometimes they are moved to make a lot of effort, sometimes less.
We CDers are the same if we want to take on the female role.
I think perhaps your wife was playing devil's advocate here, trying to find some way to put down your CDing.

[Sarah...]

It takes me half an hour to get ready to go out. I must be low maintenance. Wow! I bet Becky's glad of that :heehee:

Sarah...

[Persephone]

I'm definitely high maintenance! Hair done once a month, eyebrows professionally done once a month (and groomed daily), acrylic nail manicure every two weeks, pedicure every couple of months . . .

I don't get much "enjoyment" out of getting dressed and doing my hair and makeup, although I did get a kick out of those things years ago. Now they are just part of my routine, something to be done as quickly as possible so that I can get on with my day.

L *L*O*V*E* being "Persephone" and being out in the world, interacting with other women and with men, and enjoying my friends.

I *L*O*V*E* being part of "girl world," actually talking with my friends, sharing in their lives, loves, and problems. So different from life en drab.

And, while I don't completely love all of it, I do feel comfortable with my responsibilities -- getting dinner ready, maintaining a home, doing the laundry, shopping, etc.

Why do we do it all? I don't know, why do GG's do it?

Perhaps the best summary is something I read a long time ago, "Beauty is best appreciated by those who strive to achieve it."

[Deborah Jane]

High maintenance???

Hell i could probably buy a Ferrari for what this has cost me :battingeyelashes::heehee:

[Marlena_Sparkles]

It's all worth it to me. All the time,effort & $$$$ = LOVE!!! I wouldn't trade my situation for the world!

BTW...I consider myself HIGH MAINTENANCE...and so would the guy dating me. Hehehe

[jennifer easton]

Deborah, so perfectly stated!! Jenn

[Samantha43]

Me......high maintenance??? :battingeyelashes:

It's a good thing I'm not a GG. I would primp for hours every day.....

[Marlena_Sparkles]

High maintenance???

Hell i could probably buy a Ferrari for what this has cost me :battingeyelashes::heehee:I hear ya sister!!! When I look at all my handbags,I see my Mercedes which I could've had. :((

[Claire3]

some days im high mainainence,somedays im not.i have the choice.

[Dawn Marie]

I'm with you Debra Jane and Marlene, I know I'm a little high maintainence and for what I have spent on my clothes,shoes, lingerie, wigs and makeup, I could have bought a couple of Harleys Davidsons. But then again it is all worth it to see the end product. A Happy and content beautiful lady, Dawn Marie.

[Ashlyee Paige]

It takes me about 45min to get ready, shower, shave, makeup, clothes selection and getting dressed. I dont go over the top, I like sexy clothes but I dont wear anything that most girls wouldnt wear, I blend in for the most part. I might sacrifice comfort for beauty in some areas, i.e. heels, skirt if its cold ect.. depends on where I am going and what im doing. I dont think im high-maintenance, my warddrobe and makeup are LOL. Most expensive thing I have is my Coach handbag, but thats a neccesity!

[docrobbysherry]

WAIT! Before u get your panties all twisted, I mean the way I CD!:brolleyes:

I spend AT LEAST, 3+ hours for every dressing session I do!:eek:
Most run about 5 hours!

Remember what Dr. Frankinfurter said, " An----------------ticipation, hightens the experience!":D

[prene]

I can spend hrs showering, cleaning my face, attaching my breast forms, corset, hose, shaving, makeup, hair, mascara, earrings, neckless, jewlery this can take 45min to an hour if I know the look I want. I have just started to use womens perfume (female-fermones).

I usually stand out a little because I am ~5'11" and because for my big thighs I wear large breast forms to give me a more hour-glass look.

[PaulaSF]

I'd agree with the two main threads here- practice, planning (picking an outfit & setting it out, that morning, for example), and streamlining can get you pretty quick turn-arounds, and that one can linger/relish, as well.

I've done 20 minute if pre-shaved, for example, but if lingering over drinks/getting ready with a gal pal, the inevitable "dragtime" kicks in, and perhaps isn't that really letting ourselves go, and savoring being sexy classy gals (PC spin on high maintenance, which along with "gold-digger" is what I hear from the lads, when explaining what being a "rules girl" entails":D

Like Allie brought up, its a means justifying the ends for many of us- the whole "See and be seen" vibe (for me, conversation, perhaps second, Allie!) of an evening out and sharing adventures & tales with those you're out with, makes it all fly, for me.

I have a general guideline of wanting to spend at least as much time, out dressed, as prep & travel time, combined (that darn rules gal, again!)

cheers,
Paula

[Jenny Wilson]

My two cents….

I’ll agree that females are simply higher maintenance people in general, than men. Make up and hair care take time, and if a woman is prepping for an evening out rather than just for work, they take even more time to get ready. She’s gotten the make up part down to a science, as she should at this point in her life, and it doesn’t take her much longer to apply if we’re going somewhere special. Still, make up takes her a good 15 minutes in the morning.

As far as jewelry is concerned, she usually doesn’t change earrings, but it takes her a few minutes to select and put on a necklace and bracelets that will match her outfit. Of course, selecting an outfit takes a while. I’ve seen her change clothes 3 times in the morning, and often she needs to change to a different color bra or panties so that it won’t show through whatever she’s finally decided to wear.

In contrast, men don’t wear make up. Hair care for us is minimal. My SO needs to spend 5 to 10 minutes on her hair in the morning before work. I spend about 5 seconds combing or brushing mine after a shower. I don’t have my roots touched up every 2 weeks. Heck, most places I don’t even have roots to touch up! LOL

When it comes to selecting “an outfit” when I’m in drab, it’s either jeans and a shirt, and almost any shirt goes with jeans, or khakis and a blue oxford button down and a rep tie. That equates to “no prep time.”

However, in femme mode, I take a lot longer than she does to get gussied up. The reality is that she can roll out of bed in the morning, or out of the shower, throw on just about any clothing, and she looks like a girl. I don’t. I really have to work at it and even then it’s not too convincing. That’s just a simple fact of life.

So, yes, women are higher maintenance than we are when we are in guy mode, but when we go for girl mode, we need to do the Avis thing and “try harder,” which takes more time for us than it usually does for them.

Jenny

[Georgia Rose]

Isn't all the preparation part of the fun. I love doing my makeup and trying different things. After a year I'm just really starting to get it together and have mastered mascara at last. It's not the time but the final result. I'm a closet CD so only my wife (not all times) & I see the end result but it transforms me into someone else I want to be when the mood takes me. Other times it can be just a quick change but the thrill is not the same.

:drink:

[CDPAUL]

Seem's like most of us think alike

[Carly D.]

When I think about what it's all about for me... I think that if I were to tell anyone I know that I cross dress and that person knows me and knows that I hate to dress up as a male (i.e. nice clothes or special occasion duding up as it were) that the idea would escape them as to why I dress up in female garb... and I've said it elsewhere that I don't think of it as dressing up as most women think of the drudgery of dressing up (must be why they rarely do it anymore).. I dress this way because it really is simple.. I like the way it feels to wear womens clothes..now if I were a woman would I like to dress up?? fat chance, but at least I could wear whatever I wanted without scrutiny as men get.. we should be the opposite.. men should set the rules not cower to them... by the way high maintenance; it can be, depending how in depth you go with dressing up..

[adrienner99]

What she may not realize is how much more work it takes for a CD to look good than a GG!

But of course she and all GGs are pressured to look good every single day. We enjoy it more because we get to do it so seldom. If I had to look feminine every day, it would, eventually, feel like work for me, too--although it might take quite a while. The two hours or so it takes me to look remotely like a girl are the most heavenly time I spend anywhere..

There was a time once when women were not expected to be in the workplace--yet many of them wanted that! Boy if I could find a way to stay home and look pretty I'd take it! (Although I know how much work being a "housewife" back then really was... )