Am I Being selfish

[CDPAUL]

I get the oportunity to dress 1-2 times a week for maybe an hour or so. I always seem to have to work it into my work schedule otherwise i feel like i'm
not being fair to my wife and family. If i was to just set a time to get out by my self (not work related) i would just feel selfish as i should be home instead of cding.

how do you find a balance to wife and family and cding?

[Celeste]

I don't see an hour or two a week as being selfish.If you were to read a book or lay in the hot tub for relaxation, for that same amount of time,would you feel the same?I think everyone needs alone time for reflection and to gather their thoughts,if yours involves CDing you could try to see it as another avenue of stress release or personal time.

[jruiz]

It's a very personal question and depends on circumstances, quality of the time together, etc.

It's not about being 2 hours or 10 hours...

Are these the only couple of hours that you have available with you family? If you still find time to attend you family, I see no problem. However if they feel neglected, or you'd really rather be with them, then be with them.

[valenstein]

I go out maybe a couple times a month and will stay up late once in awhile to have some alone time, sometimes I get all dressed up, sometimes I'm just sitting here reading. Everyone deserves a bit of alone time whether you're dressing up or watching tv or whatever. I don't go out a lot otherwise and usually spend most of the weekend with my gf.

I did get caught in the pink fog for awhile, but I realized it wasn't healthy. When you start replacing your family with cding, it becomes unhealthy. I've tried really hard to make sure cleaning and other chores get done around the house because my gf is trying to accept this, so I think if you don't make her feel that she has to pick up the slack in regards to her, your family and daily life, you're not being selfish.

[CDPAUL]

When we get to do family type things i always try to include everyone (my wife wants more me and her time so a lot of time we dont include the kids) in a way I always think i'm cheating on them when i'm all by myself.

Does that make any sense?

[Kelli Michelle]

Spending two hours a week cding is not excessive, far from it. Besides, everyone is entitled to a little "alone" time, whether it be that, reading, working in the garden or whatever. I guess any time spent alone could be considered selfish to a degree. But it doesn't appear to be a problem in your case, if for no other reason, it's done pretty infrequently. I love my family, but, I also enjoy my "alone" time, no matter how I spend it. I think you are on pretty good footing here.

[tricia_uktv]

I agree, that is not selfish, must be mighty frustrating though. It is agreed that I go away to do it weekends and catch up during the week. Its a very hard life but extremely fulfilling.

[kellycan27]

Some guys play golf, others engage in their hobbys. We all next our space with out having to feel selfish.

[Daphne Renee]

1 or 2 hours a week is definatley not selfish IMO. You have to have time for yourself not matter if its cding or not. I think maybe you are feeling a little guilty about your cding. Would you still think it was selfish if you just went for a walk , read a book, talked to an old friend.. for the same amount of time? If you are working so much an hour or 2 a week is all the time you have to spend with your family it may be time to think about getting a different job.

[Sammy777]

1 to 2 hours a week is not a lot and nothing to feel selfish about.

Do you feel selfish when you go to the bathroom or take a shower?

Because both of those things take up more then 2 hours in a week.

Ya I know they are not the same, just trying to prove a point.

Try this, don't get dress for one week and go about your business.
When that week is over try and figure out if those two extra hours out of the 168 in a week somehow made you a better father/ husband/ worker/ ect.
The answer is probably not.

so stop beating yourself up over nothing.
I probably blow 2 hours a week just making coffee. :D

[PanteeQueen]

How many times has your SO needed a girl's night out or spent a Saturday or Sunday shopping or out with her friends. Turn about is fair play . . .

[Roxi Loh]

I cant even get dressed in one to two hours...so I need longer. I go out once every two months or so. Plus I play golf...go figure. Hugs

[Annie D]

Although I am not one of the people who call cd'ing a hobby, let's take a look at some of other types of hobbies that I and perhaps some of you have done in our lifetime;
1. I love to play golf; 18 holes = 4 hrs/wk
2. I have run marathons; 50 miles base at 8 minute mile pace = 6.5 hrs/wk
3. Work out at the local fitness center; 5 days for 1 hour = 5 hrs/wk
4. Have you ever belonged to a bowling league, how about a recreational softball team, church basketball, ice hockey,poker night anyone?

You get the idea. All these activities take you away from your family. Two hours a week crossdressing is not a substantial amount of time to be away from your family.

[mishelle379]

not selfish, u need time for youself as well

[windycissy]

You've got one shot at this life kid, and as long as the time you spend with your family is good time for you and them, don't begrudge yourself the fleeting hours that you spend indulging your feminine side...

[Intertwined]

Are you being selfish? only you can answer that question.

It sounds to me, that you are being a concerned husband, nothing wrong with that. It is very easy to get wrapped up in our self and what we are doing, be it hobby or work, so there is nothing wrong with asking yourself that question. You just have to be sure you look at the whole picture to come up with an honest answer.

The Balance you asked about will always be shifting, sometimes your family needs you more, there will be less time for CDing, other times you family will need you less, ie, more time for CDing.

I myself have gone nearly 4 weeks now without CDing, but my wife had surgery, and has not been self mobile in 3 weeks now, she has not been out of the bed room or living room except to goto the doctors. So between a 45 hour work week, cooking, cleaning, shopping, walking the dogs, and just sitting with my wife, not much time left for Dobby. This is only temperary, about one more month and things should return to normal.

[shannonFL]

Well, for me a few hours is too hurried to actually make the change into Shannon, just to reverse everything in a rush before my privacy runs out.
It just strips my gears too much.

My wife knows I need my space this way, but doesn't encourage it, and would prefer I had a terminal illness.

It took me many years to accept myself this way, and I find if I cannot
fully dress at least once a week or more, I become , for lack of a better word, uncomfortable with myself.

[Starling]

...if I cannot
fully dress at least once a week or more, I become , for lack of a better word, uncomfortable with myself.

It's the same for me, Shannon. It's therapeutic. It makes me a better man and woman, and certainly a more affectionate mate.

LAL

[JoAnne Wheeler]

That is a tough question - does your spouse know about your dressing - I

could never live or exist with only an hour of dressing here and there. I need

to dress up frequently or I start going bad like a 3 day old banana. But what

you can live with depends upon your needs and desires and time and

opportunity.

JoAnne Wheeler

[Karren H]

Were all selfish!! Lol. But an hour or two a week is like nothing, in my humble opinion. Unless your letting something important at home slip... I can average way more than a couple hours a week but I won't even think of dressing unless I can do it for 12 straight hours or more... Just too much trouble especially when I have to egt out allll my makeup! Lol.

[Tina B.]

Two hours! are you kidding, if any one is making you feel guilty about taking two hours a week to yourself, then they are the selfish one. how many people do you know that just has to watch they want to on the TV, sports or what ever, for hours and hours.
If you are a good mate and family man all the rest of the time, you have earned those two hours!
Tina

[crossdrezzer1]

try cd'ing at home with wife...

[docrobbysherry]

As Karen said. For one of my dressing sessions, it takes AT LEAST 3 to 5 hours!:eek:

I think U should do what u do guilt free! 2 hours a week is REALLY nothing!:doh: