In a Group of our own

[Amy Hepker]

Hi Everyone,

Well, we are, we are in a group of our own when it comes to relationships.

Lesbians want Females, not Males that dress like Females.
Gays want other Males not guys that dress like Females.

There are exceptions to both of these comments, but in general, we as MtF CDers that are Heterosexual, (I am Lesbian) are in a category all our own. It is very hard to find a Female that knows what real LOVE is and will stay with their Spouse no matter what. Most will stay with you if anything else happens, but for you to turn to Female, OMG the world is coming to an end.

They no longer have a so-called Man. I say so-called Male because, I have worked harder jobs than most Males and have shown other so-called real Males up, hey and guess what I wear girl clothes, I am a sissy.

Most GGs want the a Man so they can show you off, that is right, you are just a show piece. That is as long as you wear Male clothing, but put on something a GG would wear and you are no longer a Man in their eyes. You have just burned an image in their mind that you are not the best Male for them. (this does not pertain to all GGs as there are some that know what real LOVE is) Real LOVE is not the best looking Male or Female it is the relationship the 2 have between each other.

To tell you the truth anymore, I am scared to get into another relationship as I figure the GG will leave because of my TG life. I mean it has happened to many times in my life already. Now I am 24/7, my next relationship will be with me as my true self and not someone that someone else wants me to be.

I have had relationships where the GG thought she could change me to all Male again, well of course that is never going to happen and then they feel like they have failed, like they are not Female enough, and we know that has nothing to do with it at all.

Just some of my thoughts

[JoAnne Wheeler]

AMY - you hit the nail on the head - we as a group are liked even less than

lepers - nobody likes us - nobody wants us - everyone thinks that we are

some type of gay, weird, sick people its the baggage that we have to live

with and its awful - its what makes our lives so difficult - we HAVE to stick

together - we are the only ones who know and appreciate what we go

through !


JoAnne Wheeler

[TGMarla]

Yes, it's true that we are a rather unique bunch. We're caught between two worlds holding baggage that no one wants to carry with us. Funny how we're man enough until they learn that there is a feminine aspect to our souls. Many women complain about how men are, meet people like us, and like that we're not like "most men". Then they find out that which makes us different, and howl and yell that they just can't handle the fact that we crossdress. Yet, that's the very thing that sets us apart in such a positive way in our male lives. Go figure.

[Christie ann]

I agree that we are strangers in a strange land.

[laura.lapinski]

Yes, we are playing in a small field. And to add to that, don't most ******** and Pre-Op's (or CD's with Boob jobs) prefer males that don't dress? If so, that makes the odds even smaller. Oh well, be happy with yourself, and just be happy we have this site.

[Senban]

JoAnne Wheeler said - "AMY - you hit the nail on the head - we as a group are liked even less than

lepers - nobody likes us - nobody wants us - everyone thinks that we are

some type of gay, weird, sick people its the baggage that we have to live

with and its awful - its what makes our lives so difficult - we HAVE to stick

together - we are the only ones who know and appreciate what we go

through !"

While I respect your personal viewpoint, I have to disagree because in my experience it's simply not true.

This mantra I read so often here about how no one loves us and no one understands us is just unhealthy! When we keep telling people that they don't understand what it's like to be us, sooner or later they'll say fair enough and leave you alone to your beliefs.

Everyone I've ever come out to - everyone - including girlfriends, best friends, work colleagues, has just basically said "Oh really?" then asked a few questions and then I'm just accepted and fade into the background again.

The only time I've ever had any trouble wasn't because of the revelation as to being transgender but because I had other issues which I kept taking to other people and expecting them to accept and solve for me instead of learning how to handle things myself.

I've read in your other threads about how you need this forum and your e-Friends here and yet your wife is asking you to stop and talk to her about these things. My advice to you is to do exactly that and maybe you'll realise that people understand and accept us far more than we dare to hope. The biggest problem isn't people accepting us - it's actually us accepting ourselves that's the problem.

But I'd also add in passing that some people actually gain comfort from being a downtrodden oppressed group because it's easier.

[mishelle379]

certainly 1 of the most thoughtful and true posts I have read

[battybattybats]

I have met both men and women who are attracted to transgender.
Most however while they would like to have sex with or even privately date ad have a short-term relationship with a transgender person do not want a long term relationship with them. Why? Because they are afraid of what parents and friends etc would think!

There are some exceptions though. There are some women and men brave enough to be open about their attraction to transgender people from crossdressers to transexuals. And there are a fair number of not just supporting wives but utterly encouraging ones. I've even heard of guys being introduced to crossdressing for the first time by girlfriends and wives!

So what we need is to get more TG admirers to come out of the closet! So more will openly date and commit to a CD or TS!

And some I know are in relationships with non-CD guys, thats what happens when we aren't out, the good ones get snapped up early, often by other guys because we weren't around at the time and we fight over the rest of the openly accepting ones while the remainder secretly watch TG porn and visit TG prostitutes (yes, even women sometimes go to TG prostitutes!).

Boy George, Tim Curry as Dr Frankenfurter, David Bowie in his GLAM days, Marilyn Manson, Davey Havok of AFI.... LOTS of women have considered them sex-symbols!

So how do we encourage more of these women and men to be open about their attraction to TG?

[Sheila]

I am a GG engaged to a wonderful person, who just happens to crossdress.

I have a male whom I adore and am proud to show off, he happens to have a fem side that I adore and am proud to show off when we get the chance (we live 300 miles apart at the moment :sad: so we have only had a few times together when that has been able to happen)

After my previous relationship with another dresser broke up, I remained here as a member due to the fact that I had made many good friends. Debs and I connnected in Dec, we bacame Engaged in January and are marrying in Oct ..... now should she decide in the future that she wishhes to go for SRS I will be beside her every step of the way, I would never dream of attempting to change her in any way, although I am sure that we tog will change as individuals and as a couple along our journey tog, they will come about naturally & I hope bring us even closer together :)

While we marry as MR & Mrs in Oct, we will also have a ceremony on 1st Dec where Debs will be the Bride and I will be her partner (WE have not decided yet whether I will be dressed as a groom or will wear my Oct outfit)

[Deborah Jane]

nobody likes us - nobody wants us - everyone
JoAnne Wheeler

Not nobody, not everyone......

A lot of us are very much loved for who we are, regardless of whether we CD or not, please don't tar everybody with the same brush JoAnne :Angry3:

[Kate Simmons]

Maybe so Amy but I do get tired of hearing folks say:"Poor me" or "Poor us". Most of the time the (mostly) self imposed limitations we impose on ourselves are the result of assumptions based on misinformation and BS. To assume means to make an ass of u and an ass of me. The better way to approach it is to widen out and get to know folks individually and collectively. If we never try, we never will know, CDing notwithstanding. In any case, "pigeonholing" is for pigeons, not people.:)

[Areyan]

Hi Everyone,
Most GGs want the a Man so they can show you off, that is right, you are just a show piece.


This is a rude assumption and shows a very male side to your thinking, lol. On that note, I could say the same about men thinking of us GGs as show pieces. :)

Not one of my partners has ever been a show piece (some weren't at all that great looking anyways :heehee:) I'm just hard-wired to like what I like. And I love my CDer whether he's en femme or dressed as a man cause he's just plain hot. :o:D

[Amy Hepker]

Arianna,

I agree with you that we do need to widen out and be ourselves, and that is exactly what I am doing. I am 24/7 and Loving it every minute, but at the same time knowing that as others here have said GGs that can LOVE unconditionally are few and far between, basically due to peer or Family pressure on them.

The more of us that do make it 24/7 will let the world know that We are here, We are real People, We are good People, and We just want to Live and LOVE as others do.

It is true, We are not going to have the exact same relationship as the couples down the street, but no two relationships are the same anyway.

As Batty says there are GGs out there that do not care about the Lables people put on others and will go out with whoever they want no matter how they dress. They are very hard to find and Yes we have to be there at the right place, and at the right time, just like the start of
any other relationship.

I believe someday that GGs will want us, when they find out we are Great people to be around and there is nothing to be afraid of. I have many GG friends right now, that are not afraid to be seen with me, but on the same note they are looking for that special Man, not CD, TG, TS, or other.

[Sophia de la luz]

Please take some responsiblity for your experience here on Earth. If you feel unlovable, then state it in such terms that demonstrate it as a feeling, not as an irrevocable truth. How boring to read about how you have convinced yourself there are so very few mates available for you. I doubt you have any more trouble then most people finding love in this ever changing world. The whole "woe me" thing comes across as pathetic. And, if I was looking for a mate, your words, your story, and your tone would be a huge red flag.

[Amy Hepker]

Akira, I also said NOT ALL GGs are like this. But many are, and Yes many Men want the Ideal Woman too.

I am not saying all GGs are like this and would never do that.

I am very glad to hear from the GGs on this subject and I personally want to say Thank You for being who you are and not judging anyone by the clothes they wear.

I always cringed at the saying clothes make the Man. That is a bunch of crap. That's like saying a Woman is not a true woman unless she wears dresses all the time. I mean come on, this is the real world and if people cannot look beyond clothes then I think they have mental problems. Not the ones who wear what they want.

[Lisa Golightly]

we as a group are liked even less than lepers - nobody likes us - nobody wants us - everyone thinks that we are some type of gay, weird, sick people its the baggage that we have to live
with and its awful...

Don't be so silly... I find it quite sad when a lifestyle choice is placed in the scales with a destructive, debilitating, incurable disease. It is morally wrong in my opinion.

There are plenty of people that liked 'Lisa' before I admitted to being TS and became Lisa. The more open you are with people the more open they are with you... It's not all honey, but it's not all **** either.

[RWillow]

I agree with Amy and JoAnne, truer words were never written.

Renyta

[Sarah...]

JoAnne Wheeler said - "AMY - you hit the nail on the head - we as a group are liked even less than

lepers - nobody likes us - nobody wants us - everyone thinks that we are

some type of gay, weird, sick people its the baggage that we have to live

with and its awful - its what makes our lives so difficult - we HAVE to stick

together - we are the only ones who know and appreciate what we go

through !"

While I respect your personal viewpoint, I have to disagree because in my experience it's simply not true.

This mantra I read so often here about how no one loves us and no one understands us is just unhealthy! When we keep telling people that they don't understand what it's like to be us, sooner or later they'll say fair enough and leave you alone to your beliefs.

Everyone I've ever come out to - everyone - including girlfriends, best friends, work colleagues, has just basically said "Oh really?" then asked a few questions and then I'm just accepted and fade into the background again.

The only time I've ever had any trouble wasn't because of the revelation as to being transgender but because I had other issues which I kept taking to other people and expecting them to accept and solve for me instead of learning how to handle things myself.

I've read in your other threads about how you need this forum and your e-Friends here and yet your wife is asking you to stop and talk to her about these things. My advice to you is to do exactly that and maybe you'll realise that people understand and accept us far more than we dare to hope. The biggest problem isn't people accepting us - it's actually us accepting ourselves that's the problem.

But I'd also add in passing that some people actually gain comfort from being a downtrodden oppressed group because it's easier.

I agree with this viewpoint.

Sarah...

[Holly]

Ever hear of the term, "Self-fulfilling prophesy?" All too often, people will get a thought in their head that certain so-call facts will always apply to them... and then complain when those very same things befall them. It's time to start taking responsibility for your own feelings and your own surroundings and stop blaming everything and everyone around you. If you believe that the majority of people you come in contact with will not think you worthy of developing a relationship with, that's exactly what will happen. If you add value to another person's life, being female or male, trans, gay, yellow, tall, overweight or anything else won't make one bit of difference!

[MissConstrued]

AMY - you hit the nail on the head - we as a group are liked even less than

lepers - nobody likes us - nobody wants us - everyone thinks that we are

some type of gay, weird, sick people its the baggage that we have to live

with and its awful - its what makes our lives so difficult - we HAVE to stick

together - we are the only ones who know and appreciate what we go

through !


JoAnne Wheeler



Well, with a positive, upbeat attitude like yours, I find it difficult to imagine why you don't have more friends....

Feel free to mope about in your sackcloth and ashes, punctuated by your dives into the deep pool of self-pity, but don't expect a lot of company.

[DemonicDaughter]

A lot of GGs wouldn't date you. But not because you are a cd/ts/tg individual. Because you have one of the most negative attitudes I have ever seen!

Just because YOU haven't had good experiences, doesn't mean its the same for everyone or even ANYONE else! There are people who find relationships within this community. And there are people from every walk of life who struggle with theirs. This "we have it so hard" bs is just that! Complete bs! EVERYONE has it difficult. NO ONE has it any easier than the next person!

And to be completely honest, were I single and dating and met you, you're attitude would be a complete turn off no matter how good of a "man" you claim to be.

And also, perhaps you should lose the "man" imagine as someone who is living as a female. It would make any gay woman walk away shaking her head.

[Kate Simmons]

Well, all things considered we some how do manage to continue the human race in spite of ourselves. I really think the main thing we have to start doing as a race is to consider one another as human beings, people and individuals, not this that or the other thing. Sure biology is involved and so are the mystiques and all of the feelings but that is really what comprises the challenge and the fun. Our problem (along with most of society) is that we try to catalog and catagorgize everything. Some things such as relationships were never meant to be that way and were meant to be spontaneous in expression and experience. We can't achieve that by reading a book, looking at demographics and stats or playing spin the bottle, we can only achieve that by doing. Win, lose or draw, I guarantee a great experience.;):)

[Ruth]

Life is difficult. Trite but true. We all have problems to overcome, and CDing can be just another one or it can be a blessing and an opportunity.
It's true there are people who have a knee-jerk dislike of CDers and indeed anybody who doesn't conform to their idea of the straight and narrow. But the prudent thing to do is avoid them.
Use your CDing to enrich your life, not bring it down.

[Tal'Aura]

...nobody likes us - nobody wants us - everyone thinks that we are some type of gay, weird, sick people its the baggage that we have to live with and its awful...

Jolan Tru,

Being hatred is price we must pay. Nobody wants us, but we don't need their approval to be who we want to be. Like I said somewhere else, we have each other and they are all alone.

[Sheila]

nobody likes us - nobody wants us -

and its awful - its what makes our lives so difficult - we HAVE to stick together .... JoAnne Wheeler


Jolan Tru,

Being hatred is price we must pay. Nobody wants us, but we don't need their approval to be who we want to be. Like I said somewhere else, we have each other and they are all alone.


Thank goodness I have Debs who does not hold with that attitude .............


Debs hun I LOVE YOU


I do not think you weird & I do not think you make our life difficult :kiss:

[Deborah Jane]

Debs hun I LOVE YOU


I do not think you weird & I do not think you make our life difficult :kiss:

Thank you for your thoughts sweetheart :love:

I love you too Sheila my darling

[Areyan]

Boy George, Tim Curry as Dr Frankenfurter, David Bowie in his GLAM days, Marilyn Manson, Davey Havok of AFI.... LOTS of women have considered them sex-symbols!

So how do we encourage more of these women and men to be open about their attraction to TG?

Although I wouldn't have really gone for Boy George and Tim Curry was a little scary, all the others... mmmmmm, yummy CDers/TG looking guys... I'd love to see my CDer all dolled up like Manson :daydreaming: :battingeyelashes:

Yes, Batty, I think you're right... perhaps GGs and men who can find these type of guys attractive should be more encouraged!

:love:

Akira

[Senban]

Tal'Aura said - "Being hatred is price we must pay. Nobody wants us,"

Like I said earlier, some people just take comfort in being the oppressed and downtrodden. They take solace in the fact they are the hated minority because it gives them a sense of self.

The truth remains that no one hates them except themselves. It doesn't have to be that way but it's easier than facing the truth and finding a better way to live life. Been there, done it, seen it for what it is and found a way to move on from it. I suggest you all find a way to do the same.

[Tina B.]

Now I'm depressed, I thought I was loved by my wife, but as she is a GG, I guess that can't be true. I have always felt liked by most people I meet, but I guess that is wrong too, just my optimistic blinders I guess.
Tina

[Sheila]

It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others. - Sidney J. Harris



Maybe a quote applicable to a few in this thread :sad:

[Kelsy]

I am a GG engaged to a wonderful person, who just happens to crossdress.

I have a male whom I adore and am proud to show off, he happens to have a fem side that I adore and am proud to show off when we get the chance (we live 300 miles apart at the moment :sad: so we have only had a few times together when that has been able to happen)

, although I am sure that we tog will change as individuals and as a couple along our journey tog, they will come about naturally & I hope bring us even closer together :)
Debs and I connnected in Dec, we bacame Engaged in January and are marrying in Oct ..... now should she decide in the future that she wishhes to go for SRS I will be beside her every step of the way, I would never dream of attempting to change her in any way
While we marry as MR & Mrs in Oct, we will also have a ceremony on 1st Dec where Debs will be the Bride and I will be her partner (WE have not decided yet whether I will be dressed as a groom or will wear my Oct outfit)

OMG you're a Saint Sheila!!:) a precious gem! Congads to you and Debs And many years of happiness to you!!


Amy

There is truth in all you said but there are relationships that are absolutey based in unconditional love.

:hugs:Kelsy

[Vicky_Scot]

What about the GG who accept us for who we are and love us for being us.

My wife loves me for who I am as I love her for who she is.

We do not love this bit or that bit of each other, we love each other as the whole person which embraces all parts of our beings.

Xx Vicky xX

[Lisa Golightly]

I'd love to see my CDer all dolled up like Manson :daydreaming: :battingeyelashes:

I call my bad days when I get called sir my Manson days... lol... :)

[Saika]

I'd love to see my CDer all dolled up like Manson :daydreaming: :battingeyelashes:

:daydreaming:

You're a gem ;)

[Amy Hepker]

Like I said there are many GGs out there do that do accept their CD, TG or other without listening to the Morals of many. As I said We need more GGs like this, more open minded, open hearted GGs out there that will accept us as Humans. We have to be who we are and accept ourselves before other will accept us.

I am having the time of my life being Amy and it shows, but I do have a big empty whole in my life and there is where a Mate would be. My problem is I don't want just any relationship, I could have that already. I want someone who really wants to be with me and who will not leave me because I am who I am. I am around many people and I am always pleasant to be around. I do know someday I will find someone, but until then I am heartbroken.

I guess this why I do think it is good for us all to be who we are on the outside that we are on the inside. The more of us out, the more people will accept us. We have made progress in the last several years with the help of the internet, but there are still so many that will not come out or cannot come out.

[JoannaCaroline]

OK, Im fairly new here, but this repetitive post is getting ridiculous and annoying. joanne Wheeler, this was what I was talking about in your thread about this board being depressing and you're adding to it. This whining about everybody hating us is depressing. The bigger problem is in our own minds and in some of our own self loathing.

How many of you are going to keep whining about the same thing? You are WRONG! Some women, some men, some tgs date, love, like sleep with TG's. Half this board can attest to that and I've dated all three. is it easy? No. Does a majority of the populatin lust after TG's? No. But it's not that hard to find.

Quit associating with closed minded idiots and you may find its not that rare. If all of us can find women or men that like, love, want to marry or dates us, why can't you? At some point you have to ask yourself if maybe the problem is yours and not the worlds!!

I apologize for the rant but this is ridiculous.

[Prissy Linda]

OK, Im fairly new here, but this repetitive post is getting ridiculous and annoying. joanne Wheeler, this was what I was talking about in your thread about this board being depressing and you're adding to it. This whining about everybody hating us is depressing. The bigger problem is in our own minds and in some of our own self loathing.

How many of you are going to keep whining about the same thing? You are WRONG! Some women, some men, some tgs date, love, like sleep with TG's. Half this board can attest to that and I've dated all three. is it easy? No. Does a majority of the populatin lust after TG's? No. But it's not that hard to find.

Quit associating with closed minded idiots and you may find its not that rare. If all of us can find women or men that like, love, want to marry or dates us, why can't you? At some point you have to ask yourself if maybe the problem is yours and not the worlds!!

I apologize for the rant but this is ridiculous.

FINALLY someone put this topic in proper perspective.... Thank you Joanna.

[Areyan]

:daydreaming:

You're a gem ;)

So are you hun, I love you! :D :love:

[VeronicaMoonlit]

AMY - you hit the nail on the head - we as a group are liked even less than lepers - nobody likes us - nobody wants us -

I guess I'll have to tell my family (and some other people) that they don't want me or like me. That will go over well.


everyone thinks that we are some type of gay, weird, sick people its the baggage that we have to live with and its awful

Everyone? I don't think so. Some people perhaps, concentrated in certain areas more than others perhaps, but not everyone. Besides, there's nothing wrong with being gay, or weird. I'm not gay, in the traditional sense, might end up as lesbian some day, but not exactly lesbian now. I am weird, in a geeky nerdy way, and that's fine. I'm more likely to get depressed about my own feelings not about how others feel about trans. The majority of people have no opinion either way because they haven't met any of us.


- its what makes our lives so difficult - we HAVE to stick together - we are the only ones who know and appreciate what we go through !

What? Now my family may not understand 100% and I really don't talk to them as much as I should about what I call IT. But they try. It was my sister and mother who bought me Jenny Boylan's "She's Not There." and JJ Allen's "The Man in the Red Velvet Dress" And there's wives/partners/SO's out there who work hard to understand their TG partners. Not to mention all the mental health professionals with a clue (though there are still some without a clue I admit)


And to add to that, don't most ********

I would advise not using that word around the transgender community. Though there are a few who use it as a symbol of pride, Most don't, and consider the use of that word offensive, very offensive.


Don't be so silly... I find it quite sad when a lifestyle choice is placed in the scales with a destructive, debilitating, incurable disease.

According to Wikipedia, it's curable, has been since the 1930's though for about 20 years or so it wasn't curable again due to resistance to the original treatment drug, dapsone The Multi-drug treatments that are used now work very well it says. Leprosy's been eliminated in a couple of countries it was endemic in.


The more open you are with people the more open they are with you... It's not all honey, but it's not all **** either.

Pretty much, I think.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[Nicki B]

Ever hear of the term, "Self-fulfilling prophesy?" All too often, people will get a thought in their head that certain so-call facts will always apply to them... and then complain when those very same things befall them. It's time to start taking responsibility for your own feelings and your own surroundings and stop blaming everything and everyone around you. If you believe that the majority of people you come in contact with will not think you worthy of developing a relationship with, that's exactly what will happen. If you add value to another person's life, being female or male, trans, gay, yellow, tall, overweight or anything else won't make one bit of difference!

What she said.... :wall:


Being hatred is price we must pay. Nobody wants us,

I'm sorry - but that's just utter rubbish. Is that your experience - or just your imagination? Or is it just what you 'feel' about yourself? :rolleyes:

[crusadergirl]

Well, with a positive, upbeat attitude like yours, I find it difficult to imagine why you don't have more friends....

Feel free to mope about in your sackcloth and ashes, punctuated by your dives into the deep pool of self-pity, but don't expect a lot of company.
I agree with Miss Construed on this on. How do you know if ppl hate us. Most just don't know much about this lifestyle.Complaining and crying never gets you anywhere.

[Tal'Aura]

I'm sorry - but that's just utter rubbish. Is that your experience - or just your imagination?

This is my experience. Call it rubbish or whatever you want, but that won't change my reality. It's sad that even on this forum I am being judged sometimes just because I think different. Well, I guess, it's better to stay quiet in here...

Jolan Tru

[Elisa]

I think what everyone here are saying is quite correct, allthough I know some GG's, if presented with the situation the right way would love to have a CD'ing man..

My ex girlfriend, who found out about this after we broke up, said she wished she knew before, because then we could go shopping for womens clothes together.. And that she imagined the best man in a womans world must be a man that knows a lot about womens clothes. :)

And I think that's a quite correct statement, as I know how much most guys hate going shopping for exactly that. :)

So whenever I meet my next potential girlfriend, I am going to attempt full openness from the start, and use that as my "crowbar" to her positiveness if you want to call it that. :)

[PretzelGirl]

This is my experience. Call it rubbish or whatever you want, but that won't change my reality. It's sad that even on this forum I am being judged sometimes just because I think different. Well, I guess, it's better to stay quiet in here...

Jolan Tru

It is never good to be quiet. That would make you susceptible to what other people think and want you to do instead of what you want.

My general rule in life. If I walk tall and look people in the eye, they will either greet me or look away if they are feeling guilty. But if I hang my head or look off to the side, then I am open to however they want to treat me.

Be proud of who you are and let others know it!

[shaun1]

Don't be so silly... I find it quite sad when a lifestyle choice is placed in the scales with a destructive, debilitating, incurable disease. It is morally wrong in my opinion.

There are plenty of people that liked 'Lisa' before I admitted to being TS and became Lisa. The more open you are with people the more open they are with you... It's not all honey, but it's not all **** either.

lisa luv i think your great your out look on life is so positive its uplifting.no matter whats the problem you always look for the good.now everybody take note all you people out there with your woo is me outlook should surrond yourself with people like lisa(at least have one person like her) because when you get all sollom she can give you the good side of things aswell as a much needed slap.live your lifes to its full make the most of everything cause we only get one shot at this and stop moaning.the more you enjoy life the more fun it is the more fun it is the happier you become.


THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE , THE PRETTY THINGS COST A FORTUNE


Thank goodness I have Debs who does not hold with that attitude .............


Debs hun I LOVE YOU


I do not think you weird & I do not think you make our life difficult :kiss:

i was starting to lose faith in this site with all the negativity but when i see comments like yours they make me smile and relise there are happy cheerful people here no matter what there gender is.thank you for restoring my faith in this site.i hope you and debs both have the weddings you deserve and have a long and happy life together.


THE BEST THINGS I LIFE ARE FREE , THE PRETTY THINGS COST A FORTUNE

[Super Amanda]

I can't wait to get back into the swing of things! I'm almost divorced and coming out has been great! I'm gonna be upfront with any women I meet, and I'm very optimistic! I think the future is bright for me! Bright and pink!

[Tal'Aura]

But when AnnieMay starts saying "everybody hates us", I cry foul. She knows nothing about the personal lives of most of us, so she's speading gloom and despondency on the basis of her ignorance. (In wartime this is a criminal offence within the category of assisting the enemy.)

I see... And what are you going to do about it? Would you arrest AnnieMay and take her to court martial?

Be advised that she is probably not referring to every crossdresser on this planet. For example, perhaps she talks about situation in place where she lives... There is a lot of variables we don't know and things aren't always just black and white, so stop labelling someone as a negative person if you don't know the whole story.

Okay, now I'm out of this discussion.

Jolan Tru

[Carin]

We are all unique. We can club together as engineers, hairdressers, fiction writers, homosexual, heterosexual, Latino, Caucasian, transgendered, whatever club you like.

But we are each individuals. All heterosexual men don't just fall in love with all heterosexual women. We seek out the uniqueness in people. You can limit your search for relationships to one club, and say that no-one likes you. You can believe that you only fit in one club, and miss the uniqueness of people all around you.

One can not stay in the closet and still exclaim that no-one likes you, or generalize that no-one likes us. I have more friends now, male and female, straight and otherwise, than I did before.

The implication is that one is a perfectly wonderful adorable person that anyone would want - except that you are a crossdresser. The implication is that your uniqueness is that you are a crossdresser. If that is all there is to you, well good luck.


we as a group are liked even less than lepers - nobody likes us - nobody wants us

I am personally offended by the remark. Such misinformation from someone with so much to say is a dis-service at best. We are not a gang walking around looking to make trouble. We are a community in a world of overlapping communities. We pose a challenge to conformal thought and so be it. I think your SO of 38 years would disagree with your exclusive statement.

We are not in a group of our own when it comes to relationships. We are in a world with boundless possibilities. You have to work for those possibilities. Even the best looking super-model has to work to find the right relationship. Gender variant is not an exclusive group. If you look through stereoptypical glasses, you will only see what you expect to see.

[kellycan27]

But we are each individuals. All heterosexual men don't just fall in love with all heterosexual women. We seek out the uniqueness in people. You can limit your search for relationships to one club, and say that no-one likes you. You can believe that you only fit in one club, and miss the uniqueness of people all around you.


I am a TS
I just did a thread about a wonderful heterosexual man that recently came back into my life with a desire to enter into a relationship with me. It took him a while to come to terms... but he did and what he said was this. I love you for what you are on the inside,not for that which you are on the outside.

[Nicki B]

This is my experience. Call it rubbish or whatever you want, but that won't change my reality. It's sad that even on this forum I am being judged sometimes just because I think different. Well, I guess, it's better to stay quiet in here...

Jolan - I wasn't trying to rubbish your experience - I'm sorry if you took it that way. :sad:

What I was trying to point out was that you expanded your experience to encompass all the rest of us - and if you spend only a little time reading threads here, you'll see it simply isn't the case for everybody, as you said?

Perhaps you should consider travelling and experiencing other places to try and find somewhere where you are not automatically 'hated' - such hatred usually goes together with a poverty of education, IME?

[linnea]

We are in a group of our own.

[Sarah...]

We are in a group of our own.

Yep - likely this planet is the only one with human beings on it...

...luckily there are 7 billion of us so plenty of friends to choose from :)

Sarah...

[JenniferR771]

Alone is a lonely gig. However...every day is a new adventure...keep hunting; every day has a chance that you will meet "the one who loves you unconditionally, as Amy". Hang out at the women's basketball games. Meet a lot of people. Keep looking for Ms. Right. God wants us to live life with a loving partner. You don't need all the women in the world--just one, very special one. And be sure you know yourself. A partner who changes--is not good in a long term relationship. There are millions of lonely women looking for a Christian 6 feet 2, partner, who can drill wells, drive truck, fix anything, and build a drag race car. And look very sweet doing it. If you love kids and live in a warm place--that would help.

[PretzelGirl]

Jolan

An assist here for the non-Trekkies. "Jolan Tru" is Romulan for Good Day/Night.