Fakes

[Becca_Ia]

Not quite sure the proper place to ask this question on the forum, hope nobody takes offense to it here.

Here's my question, every once in awhile I'm approached online to strike up a converstaion with somebody "claiming to be a CD'r or TV/TS/TG person and on a few occurances felt this person wasn't truly who they claimed to be, (a man posing in hopes of whatever).

Can you girls think of any good questions that would out someone that was a man portraying?

Becca

[tricia_uktv]

Yes, thats very common. Pictures, and more than one help. If in doubt say you don't believe her and stop the chat/emails until she can prove she is not. Direct questions are not easy because they will always claim they they have just started and are looking for advice. But thats online and you can turn them off if you want. In real life sometimes the opposite occurs which is harder to manage. I'll leave you all to figure that one out, buts its important.

[sterling12]

And look for details, details, details! Over time it is very hard for a person who is doing a "sham" to keep the story consistent. Write things down, go back later and see if your Friend can keep her history straight. I think most of us can figure out how to get this sort of thing accomplished without being obvious.

NEVER let your Guard down! If you write something that you wouldn't want A Vice Cop in Yonkers to read....ya' screwed up!

After a reasonable time, it is usual for the two of you to meet. Yes, there are people who will "bail out" at the last minute and can't seem to work up the nerve to meet you, but it is also very likely your dealing with someone who has something to hide. Someone who has been untruthful!

If you want to make friends, join a Group. It's a lot harder to hide behind lies when someone is dealing with you face to face. I know I'll probably catch hell from everyone for being suspicious, but I think a healthy level of suspicion is preferable to a very bad mistake....one you might regret for the rest of your life.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[geri-tg.]

I like to ask for a picture.If they do not respond I stop the e-mails adn delete them.

[sky0629]

Hey babe,
this is a hard call to make, there are alot of girls still in the closet and don't want to post a pic, but it doesn't mean they can't give information about them self, this is something you have to feel out and make your own call. but for the true closet cders find it hard to make friends because of the fedish hunters. I try not to cut anyone off right away, i remember how hard it was before i came out. use your judgement. you'll know pretty much right off who screwing around with ya. Sky

[wowoman]

You are absolutely right. I agree with you... even I was a bit scared before posting my pic.

[Shinya]

Giggle if you want.

Ask them what kind of moisturizer they like for after shaving.:doh:

[CD Susan]

Here's my question, every once in awhile I'm approached online to strike up a converstaion with somebody "claiming to be a CD'r or TV/TS/TG person and on a few occurances felt this person wasn't truly who they claimed to be, (a man posing in hopes of whatever).

I have encountered this problem on another website that pertained to cd/tg/ts dating. After several e-mail exchanges it becomes obvious who is not really what they are pretending to be. It got to be so bad on this certain website that I had to delete my profile and permanently leave the site. A true cd'er knows the "language" and how to talk to other cd's. The fakes do not know how to do this.

[Gemma Bee]

One thing I've noticed is "fakes" will swipe other people's photos. I was talking with someone who claimed to be a CD a while back. After a few messages I was getting suspicious. So I asked them to send me a photo. They did, and quite quickly too, but I immediately identified the picture belonging to another CD, someone I had actually spoken to over webcam on MSN. I ceased all contact with the fake.

Unfortunately, the internet easily allows such people to pose as CDs/TVs. If in doubt, ask them to send you a picture in which they're holding up a piece of paper which reads hello to you, or something similar.

[Lisa Golightly]

I've never experienced this... I seem to attract the variety that are only too keen to tell me that they are interested and what they'd like to do to me... There are the ocassional exceptions... yay!... ;) lol... but most are obvious and awful from the outset.

Questions to ask? Hmmmmm well the boys of the overtly sexual type seem to like to tell me about their fantasies, and if clothes are involved it tends to be what I'm wearing rather than the other way round. TBH after a while you tend to spot them in a couple of sentences... :doh:

[Senban]

The interwebs are full of people pretending to be someone or something they're not. It's the nature of the beast I'm afraid.

This is exactly why it's important not to see the internet as a place to form meaningful relationships with people, romantic or otherwise. Yes, it can happen and it's happened to me. I originally met a previous girlfriend online and we became good friends in real life and later had a romantic relationship.

But for every one good story there's a hundred or more bad stories. I personally know people who've fallen for a girl online who's later turned out to be a guy leading them on and that happens a LOT. The simple truth is this. Use the interwebs to talk to people by all means but always remember that you're only seeing a fraction of that person so don't go investing too much of yourself into the friendship/relationship.

A lot of people pretend to be something they're not online as it's an escapist fantasy or simply they're out to trick people for their own entertainment. The fact is that many transgender people are lonely and will clutch at human contact too readily and that's something these people count on to hook you.

If you're talking to someone online, enjoy it for what it is. If you enjoy the conversation, great but unless this person is a known quantity, just assume they're not who they say they are. If you don't mind that then great, enjoy your conversations. If you're suspicious that someone isn't who or what they say they are and if that bothers you then just allow the conversation to fade away and find someone else to talk to. It's not worth confronting them or trying to catch them out, just let them go and move on.

[MsJanessa]

Not quite sure the proper place to ask this question on the forum, hope nobody takes offense to it here.

Here's my question, every once in awhile I'm approached online to strike up a converstaion with somebody "claiming to be a CD'r or TV/TS/TG person and on a few occurances felt this person wasn't truly who they claimed to be, (a man posing in hopes of whatever).

Can you girls think of any good questions that would out someone that was a man portraying?

Becca

say you want to meet her in your local gay bar on drag night---if she shows up dressed then you know it's for real--if they don't show up, well then that tells you they are a poser

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Read all the posts so far - everyone of them are excellent - be very, very

careful - could be a sting - could be a pervert - could be a deranged killer

JoAnne Wheeler

[valenstein]

That's a rare one for me, usually it's guys or CDs pretending to be GGs, and most of them are really bad at it. I don't trust pictures either, it's helpful, but it doesn't mean a lot. I'll talk to anyone who I find interesting, reagrdless of gender, it's what's said and how that makes me determine what gender is in their head, that's enough for me online-wise. The people I really like, I find a way of meeting them in person at one time or another, but that number has been very small so far.

[Kate Simmons]

It's usually fairly easy to determine if someone is genuine. A phoney cannot maintain a facade for very long. As far as meeting, it's best to meet in an open and public place. A genuine person would have no problem with this.:)

[Sammy777]

Can you girls think of any good questions that would out someone that was a man portraying?

Questions are good but look at what they type as well.

Try these and always look for specific [non one word] answers.

1]What size clothes do you wear?
Small / Med / Lrg / 9 / 12 / ect = bad
I usually wear a 12 in tops/dresses and a 9 pants/skirts = good

2]What type of shoes do you like / what size?
Boots = bad
Knee high boots with 3" heels = good

3]Favorite Make-up brand?
Mac = bad
I just love the way Mac covers = good

You get the hint, right . lol

[amyj]

Years ago there was a Web site devoted to this - something.com/tgfakes. Some of it was absolutely hilarious. I mean, if you're going to be dishonest, at least put forth a good effort.

Others took a little detective work, but it was still funny nonetheless.

[Raquel June]

There are plenty people on this forum who are probably fakes. They seem to like sending friend requests then trying to contact people on IM.

The simple thing you need to ask yourself is: What is the motivation for their contacting you, and what are they interested in talking about? We're all a fairly narcissistic bunch, and CD/TS people who randomly contact you are usually doing so because they have some pretty specific questions. If they send you pics, are they asking for your actual opinion of their look, or are they asking if it turns you on? People that contact you should be more than happy to talk about why they contacted you and what's going on in their life. The fakes will often steer the conversation towards your love life and not want to talk about themselves. Of course, there are many closet CDs who behave similarly. They're not being malicious, but they do like to contact the "out" people for vicarious reasons.

Some fakes may not realize they're fakes.

Two years ago I'd never used Craig's List for anything, and I found someone who said they were a CD looking for CD/TS friends. I talked to the person and we ended up hanging out at a bar several times. Really nice person. Well, I decided I would make a post on Craig's List saying that a lot of CD/TS people like to go to this particular bar. This was quite naive of me. The responses I got were f*cked up to say the least. One guy was really sloppy and overweight and hairy and sent me several pictures of himself wearing nothing but an old T-shirt. If that wasn't bad enough, he had not done any personal grooming and was certainly not impressive down there. Another guy wrote me and said, "I like to crossdress!" then emailed me pictures of him on the edge of his bed wearing nothing but sheer black panties and stockings. He had massive amounts of gray body hair, was bald, had an enormous gray mustache, and then of course there was his raging erection.

[carolinebrookes]

There are lots of fakes out there and usually after a while shall be exposed.
Sometimes you have a gut feeling about someone and if that's the case, I'd suggest "cooling off". Most times my gut feeling is correct.

Doing this will mean that they are either true enough to their word or less likely, a persistant fake.

If you stay online in the relationship then no worries. Just be careful about how much you reveal about yourself. The last thing you want is for this person turning up unannounced on your doorstep!

[DanaR]

And look for details, details, details! Over time it is very hard for a person who is doing a "sham" to keep the story consistent. Write things down, go back later and see if your Friend can keep her history straight. I think most of us can figure out how to get this sort of thing accomplished without being obvious.

NEVER let your Guard down! If you write something that you wouldn't want A Vice Cop in Yonkers to read....ya' screwed up!

After a reasonable time, it is usual for the two of you to meet. Yes, there are people who will "bail out" at the last minute and can't seem to work up the nerve to meet you, but it is also very likely your dealing with someone who has something to hide. Someone who has been untruthful!

If you want to make friends, join a Group. It's a lot harder to hide behind lies when someone is dealing with you face to face. I know I'll probably catch hell from everyone for being suspicious, but I think a healthy level of suspicion is preferable to a very bad mistake....one you might regret for the rest of your life.

Peace and Love, Joanie

I would have to agree with Joanie, always be suspicious and don't let your guard down. Think about what a GG would do, they are never going to trust someone that they have never met. These are survival skills that most girls learn when they are very young.

[Karren H]

Just assume everyone is a fake.... not who the profess to be.... and if they turn out to be for real!! You can be plesantly surprised!! :)

[TxKimberly]

I have been caught by the same thing when I agreed to meet someone while I was traveling. When we chatted and traded emails, I was told that he was one of us. When I met hi, it quickly became apparent that he wasn't, he was an admirer that told me what he had to for me to agree to meet him. I learned two important lessons from that experience:
1- Never allow someone you don't know well to meet you in your hotel room. He WAS a gentleman and did nothing wrong while there, but it still made me nervous when I realized just how stupid I had been.
2 - Get to know someone reasonably well by chatting and email before you take chances with them. You might still meet someone that you don't know well on short notice, but do it someplace safe and public.

I don't think there is a quick magic question you can ask that will tell you for sure if someone is TG or an admirer. The only reasonably accurate way to determine this is to take the time to get to know them. Lot's of chats, lots of emails, etc.

[MsJanessa]

I re-read the OP and the replies and decided a more serious answer was in order. I've been around the internet/dating scene for over 10 years now, both in the Transgendered scene and the BDSM scene and My personal experience is that there are a lot of Wannabes out there, who for one reason or another will e-mail, cyber-chat or phone you but never have any real intention of meeting--back when I first started doing this I was "stood up" a number of times by people who I thought were really serious about meeting me but actually wanted some "stimulation" looking at My photos and talking to Me on the phone while they "pleasured" themselves--those people used to infuriate Me, now I just feel sorry for them---they obviously lack the courage to come out and are content with a lifetime of fantasies---

I've also gotten better over the years at separating the serious people who actually want to meet from the wannebes so I'm usually not disappointed any more.

And sometimes I do get a suprise from someone who has misrepresented himself--one time a guy said he was tall and slim---I do like willowy body types--he showed up and was about 5'7" and around 200 lbs---now I probably would have met him anyway but when I asked him about the deception his reply was "you wouldn't have met me if I told you the truth" I wonder what he imagined I would do when I actually saw what he looked like and discovered I'd been lied to?

Any way the problem is something that just goes with the territory---if its any consulation GGs have the same problems with internet dating and misreprentations.

[shaun1]

and look for details, details, details! Over time it is very hard for a person who is doing a "sham" to keep the story consistent. Write things down, go back later and see if your friend can keep her history straight. I think most of us can figure out how to get this sort of thing accomplished without being obvious.

Never let your guard down! If you write something that you wouldn't want a vice cop in yonkers to read....ya' screwed up!

After a reasonable time, it is usual for the two of you to meet. Yes, there are people who will "bail out" at the last minute and can't seem to work up the nerve to meet you, but it is also very likely your dealing with someone who has something to hide. Someone who has been untruthful!

If you want to make friends, join a group. It's a lot harder to hide behind lies when someone is dealing with you face to face. I know i'll probably catch hell from everyone for being suspicious, but i think a healthy level of suspicion is preferable to a very bad mistake....one you might regret for the rest of your life.

Peace and love, joanie

i totaly agree any real cd will not be offended by a little suspicion in fact would understand so caution is the key


the best things in life are free , the pretty things cost a fortune

[Hali]

Fakes or predators? It will be extremely difficult for me to meet any one in person without knowing that person for like 3 months non-stop exchange of information on the net then later on phone. Except if am familiar with the person on a forum, some of the pple on this forum might be familiar enough for me to think of meeting and it will have to be after exchanging ideas and information and testimonies from other members of the forum. Am i being too cautious?

[Jean Ann S]

In a way it is a shame we have to be so afraid of meeting new people !
I dont know the answer I am sure there are others fairly close ,, but yet Iam pretty much alone when it comes to this activity
I find it much more complicated to meet friends in this activity as compare to others I participate in
And yet how are CDs to advance our cause etc if we fear each other

Jean Ann

[Raquel June]

I've been around the internet/dating scene for over 10 years now, both in the Transgendered scene and the BDSM scene and My personal experience is that there are a lot of Wannabes out there, who for one reason or another will e-mail, cyber-chat or phone you but never have any real intention of meeting--back when I first started doing this I was "stood up" a number of times

It sure looked like the OP was complaining about subversive admirers/chasers. Saying you agree and then turning it around and saying you've been tying up and humping crossdressers for 10 years is probably not the kind of response she was looking for. The OP was certainly not complaining about being stood up for sexual encounters as you are. She was probably complaining about people like you.




--I do like willowy body types--

You had to throw that in? This isn't as brazen a solicitation as some of your posts, but it's still gross. You've efficiently made it clear that you're attracted to CDs, what type you're into, that you like BDSM, and that you're open for business. Is that really an appropriate response for this thread? Is it even remotely on-topic?

There are several major dating sites and a few thousand Yahoo CD groups for that kind of thing. Two of the nicest CDs I know are into that scene. But please respect the fact that most of us come here to get away from that.

I just want to apologize to new members who see this. The majority of us aren't predators.

[MsJanessa]

sorry I've offended you---certainly didn't have that intention. I thought the OP was concerned about people on the internet who misrepresented themselves as being something they are not---that's not me--what you see is what you get and you should be aware that I'm anything but a predator nor do I "chase" anybody---anybody who dates me is made crystal clear before hand what it is I'm into and what I like to do---only fair to both parties. As far as solicitation on this forum---well maybe a little flirting but no solicitation---like you said its not that kind of place--I've dated one girl from here--we both had a good time but that's all it is---I've settled to the point now where I have a steady relationship with one T-girl and I'm happy with just that---have a nice day ---Ms J

Oh and BTW I'm exactly who and what I claim to be---not hiding anything---if you can't handle who or what I am, that's your problem, not mine.

[Emily01]

i've never had this experience but i have come to know people over the web and a handful have become fast friends. the one commonality was that i took a lot of time to get to know them and over time stories either become authentic or not.

as for other CD's i'd think the same would apply in so far as we all have a commonality to our story: the road to accepting ourselves, the fear (initially at least) of being found out and exposed, how clumsy we are at the start and the huge effort in time and money we make to learn and perfect as best we can, the purging and the relationship issues, our sexual identity issues, converting male sizes to female sizes, success and failure with make-up and wigs, and what about accessorizing - jeez is that hard or what!!

the point is that there is so much we have in common that non-CD's simply don't have a clue about that i think if we give people enough time they become either authentic or exposed.

[NicoleScott]

I used to chat a lot when I was with AOL. No more, but I really enjoyed a lot a chats. At the beginning of a conversation, I would ask "Are you a cd? Admirer?" I have had a good many pleasant conversations with admirers as well as other cd's. Fakes usually blow their cover eventually, and when I sensed the conversation heading in the wrong direction, I politely terminated (gotta go, wife just got home. Bye).
The internet's curse is that anonimity allows people to be deceptive. But its blessing is that anonimity allows people to be honest in ways not possible in person. I can't share my story or show my photos to my family, friends, or co-workers. But I can with you all and some I bump into online.
In our lives we have hopefully learned that there are some alleyways we shouldn't go down. Likewise with being online. We have to learn, and a measure of caution is healthy.

[Tracii G]

Join a TG group in your area its a great way to meet CDers. Real ones too!

[Nicole Erin]

true cd'er knows the "language" and how to talk to other cd's. The fakes do not know how to do this.

absolutely.
Thing is, if it is a CD or TS they can still use fake photos.

[Carly D.]

If they really want to know what it's like to cross dress give them this site address : http://www.crossdressers.com tell them they don't have to join but do read all the entries..