testosterone

[gretchen2]

I and my parents have a fairly close relationship, but they do not know about my cding. Well I don’t think that they know, my mother did make a surprise visit once and it was some what obvious but not totally obvious, long story. Anyway my dad has lost most of his testosterone in the last couple of years and I have noticed a big change in his personality. He has become at least in my opinion more feminine, sensitive, in touch with his feelings, lovable, compassionate, and some other stuff that I can not explain. So the last couple of months or so we have been spending a lot of time together making beer, and he has started calling my honey in an endearing sort of way. Has he and my mother gotten to a point in life that I should tell them? Note that they are committed Christians, yet open minded to a point, and they are very conservative. I am forty and they are in there sixties.

[kellycan27]

Are you guessing about the drop in you father's testosterone or was he told by a doctor, and if so are you assuming that he would be more accepting of your crossdressing because he seems mellower now?

[TGMarla]

Only you can decide this. Only you can make the choice to tell them or not tell them. Is telling them important to you? Or is it only satiating a desire just to tell someone? Would their knowing make their lives better? Would it draw you closer together as a family?

There are many things to consider. You know them best. You must make this decision. No one can tell you to do it.

[kellycan27]

I outted myself by accident to my mom and dad who I also was very close with. They didn't disown me , but the relationship was forever changed and not for the better, so much so that I found it uncomfortable to be around them and vise versa. You're talking major bombshell here. You know them best, so how do you think they will react? I am not sure that I would rely on the testosterone drop as a buffering agent.

[gretchen2]

He was told by a doctor, and yes maybe it would be easier now that he has mellowed.

Good points Marla, if I need to tell someone beside my fiancée, which she already knows, it would be my other best friend. I have just read that a lot of us on this site wish that they had told there parents before they die. I do not know if it would draw us closer.

You make a good point to Kelly, it does kind of suck living a lie but it might be worth living that lie?

[Super Amanda]

I have been coming out for the last few weeks...everyone has been great so far, but my Dad still doesn't know. I know he'll accept it, but his health is not the greatest right now, I want to wait till he's better as I don't want to stress him out. But my immediate family knows and my best friends now know. I feel like accepting myself was the magic key to being able to tell my Mom, or brother, or stranger even, "I want to be a girl, always have." I really believe my own confidence and acceptance of myself has shown them that I'll be OK. So anyway, you know them best. If they are open minded, and want whats best for you, this will become a non-issue.

[Teri Jean]

Only you can know where your father is in regards to his comfort level. Maybe a leading conversation about a fictional aquaintence will give better insite as to where he's at. I for one am 60 plus change and if my son came to me with his desire to CD I would be supportive but questioning. Sounds strange coming from a CD myself but I would still be questioning as to why. I have two girls and no sons and have not told them either. I guess I would be curious and not condensending. Love is forever and the rest is just colors of the painting. Does that make sense? Huggs Keli

[kellycan27]

I don't advocate living a lie.Honesty is always the best policy to be sure.
it's really your call, if you think that you may have more to gain than you do to lose.......

[Shari]

Leave it alone and don't go there.

[Vicky_Scot]

Leave it alone and don't go there.


I would concur.

Xx Vicky xX

[insearchofme]

The only thing that makes me wonder is the fact that your dad didn't try hormone replacement therapy. There are topical gels you can you use to replace the lost testerone. I know several men who use them and have been very happy with the results.

Did your dad choose not to try them? There may be an underlying medical condition that might prevent him fro using them. If not, perhaps he wants the change he is going through at this time. It might be his way of becoming more femme.

Ask questions about not going on HRT before coming out to him.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Just how low is his testosterone ? I doubt that this lowering is going to

change whatever attitudes that he may have had before. By the way, what

is your testosterone level ?

JoAnne Wheeler

[Karren H]

Some people when they age become more fragile which makes them appear more feminine in my humble opinion. I think I have as I age But I'd say that that and a mellowing would not drastically change his outlook on your crossdressing... If he wouldn't have like it when he was younger I doubt he would now, mater of fact most people become more resoult in their beliefes as they age so this may be a worse time to spring it on him!!

[Ralph]

I don't advocate living a lie.Honesty is always the best policy to be sure.

After all I have preached on the subject I can hardly disagree with that, but unless you are living with them, I also don't see that telling them would accomplish anything beneficial.

I would never allow my parents (now deceased, but before they died) to see me having sex with my wife; I would never discuss the subject with them in any way or even hint at it because it's a very personal, private intimacy shared only with my wife. Does that mean I'm "living a lie" by not discussing it with my parents? No, it has no impact on their lives and is just plain none of their business.

Of course if you do live with them that changes everything; now your CDing does have an effect on their lives and holding the information back has the potential to hurt them when, not if, they find out some other way.

ralph

PS - sorry for the humongous amount of replies tonight... I was out travelling all week and now I'm catching up on recent threads.

[gretchen2]

After all of the fine advice I have come to the conclusion that it would be better to leave it alone. Thanks .

[MssHyde]

loose lips sink ships.

I wouldn't share that, sometimes we can get desensitized, because of where we are at, and where they maybe.

[linnea]

I don't think that when or if you tell them depends upon a point that they reach. Is your dad more ready to hear about your CDing because he's behaving more effeminately? I don't know, but I don't think that that is your gauge. I think that it's much more about what you are ready for, how confident you are, and how firm you are in your convictions and sense of self.

[Mistybtm]

Leave it alone and don't go there.


I AGREE:2c: