Has Another CD Come Out to You?

[Starling]

I wonder how I'd respond if a friend came out to me, as I'm not out myself. Of course I'd be supportive, but would I go so far as to reciprocate? I know I'd be tempted, but I'd be mighty nervous, too. I'd certainly have tremendous respect for him.

What do you ladies think?

LAL

[Kate Simmons]

I'm wondering if the question is hypothetical or personal. It has been done and is doable but not everyone just jumps at the chance to reveal themself to someone else. It depends on the people involved and a great deal of trust is required as well. In most cases there is the potential of more to lose than more to gain more often than not. It really is a judgment call.

[Shannon]

If a friend had enough trust in me to come out to me, I would probably come out to him or her. I might be a bit suspicious that I was being "baited", so it would need to be a very solid friendship.

[SweetCaroline]

Not a friend to be exact, but people have come out to me on-line. Usually strangers who knew I was CD asking me for advice. I've always been fully supportive, thankful, and tried to help out any way I could. Many times I dirrected them to this forum if they didn't know about it already.

With that said. Most of my friends in Real Life these days are CDs so there's really no need for them to come out to me.

[Angie G]

Only here hun.:hugs:
Angie

[susie evans]

it kinda went like this mr evans i would like to have a private conversation with you at your convience , ok is this bussiness or personal , ah it is rather personal ,ok on friday i have some spare time we can visit the prodject you are on have lunch you can drive we will leave the office at ten and we don't need to return untill the afternoon ,ok , friday after small talk and we are under way i think we have more in common than you might think (me)that's possable well idon't no how to realy broach this subdject (me) well lettes just say on a personal and bussiness level unless it's some kind of criminal activaty i have a very open mind well i don't want to lose my job but this has been bothering me for quite a while but i am not sure , (me) let's try the truth that usualy workes the best ,OK well i'am a crossdresser , (ME) ok so is that it yes but are you one also (me)why would you ask , all of the girls in the co realy like you and say you are some one they can talk to and feel comfortable with and i noticed you are sincetive to peoples needs , and i have notcied some of the things in you office are girly like the jacket hanging on the back of your door and a few other things (me) yes i have been crossdressing for many years , and you can feel free to talk with me any time you like , WOW you don't no what a load this is of my mind i just new i was going to get fired (ME) I DON'T NO HOW EVERY ONE WOULD REACT but i thi nk i would not make this public knowlage it could cause some major problems for us both , yea most people aren't very forgiving and are prety oppionatated thank you very much you don't no hwo much this means to me well just keep up the good work and we will see what happens

this was five years ago
just one experiance i had

:hugs:...susie

[JoAnne Wheeler]

NO - with the exception of my younger brother who went on to have SRS.

JoAnne Wheeler

[Starling]

I'm wondering if the question is hypothetical or personal...

I'm not expecting it from anyone in particular, Arianna, although the law of averages suggests I know other closeted crossdressers. It is also possible that some old friends might suspect me because of Freudian slips (which can be very lovely). Of course, those most likely to get that vibe from me would be other CCDs.

LAL


...You give all the support possible. In my case I'd invite him to the next meeting...

Support, of course. But you're already out, Katie. I'm only out here, and not under my male identity.

LAL

[kellycan27]

Might be nice to be able to share if you did reciprocate. It's not like he would be throwing any stones.

[Starling]

...this was five years ago...

Susie, it's exactly the situation you described for which I was seeking guidance. You came through with flying colors. And your compassion and bravery have gone unpunished in five years. Fantastic!

Hugs to you too,

LAL

[Super Amanda]

Well one time at my old job, a guy in his late 40's told me that he and his wife found women's clothes their 18 year old son's drawer. He was all stressed out and didn't know what to do. He said after confronting his son, his son said some people at his high school got him into it. Of course he bought his sons story, but was still upset. I told him that, number one, he is still your son, nothing will ever change that. Number two, that's it? I told him it wasn't a big deal, and to be glad his son isn't doing drugs, or getting girls pregnant. I don't know why he confided in me, but I was glad he did. I just hope for the best for his son, as I know how hard it can be. That's about as close as a coming out confession I've ever got.

[Starling]

...It's not like he would be throwing any stones.

It would be great to share, Kelly, but I'd want to be reasonably sure I was dealing with a stable personality. I once knew a very sweet, but terribly mixed-up, pre-op MTF TS. She was always in trouble of one sort or another, and even got arrested a few times for drugs and generally deranged behavior. I would sooner have come out to Matt Drudge.

LAL


...I don't know why he confided in me, but I was glad he did...

I guess sharing your knowledge and understanding with a (presumably) non-crossdresser can be risky, but it's the morally right thing to do. You probably spared an innocent kid a lot of grief. Hurray for you!

LAL

please use the multi quote option

[Ashlee]

If a friend felt comfortable enough to let me in on the secret I'd of course be supportive and comforting. I'd assure that person that it doesn't bother me and the secret is safe with me and then go from there. I may try to probe further and see what desires may be there as far as the dressing goes. Eventually, if all things seemed legit I'd tell that person of me, go to makeovers etc. I don't see this happening though (having a friend come out to me)

[Starling]

...Eventually, if all things seemed legit I'd tell that person of me...

I'd probably do the same as you, Ashlee, if I were really sure. No makeovers yet, though. All my makeovers have been DIY, except for my first one almost thirty years ago, performed by a GF who sort of figured me out (and enjoyed it) after we got started. Everything of hers fit me perfectly, from bra, panties and hose to empire-waisted dress and slingbacks.

She did my makeup expertly, including eyelashes, and even loaned me a wig! It was for a costume party, and it was astounding to look into the mirror and see a slightly chunky but sort of attractive young woman gazing back at me. In fact, the experience was so unsettling that I lost my nerve and went to the party dressed as a killjoy who had no imagination whatsoever. But I kept her things for a couple of weeks.

LAL

PS: How do you like that? I just went way off the thread I started myself! Detours in pink.

[kellycan27]

Well you said a "friend". Do you have a lot of friends that are seriously deranged? We can all come up with senerios for a reason as to do or not do something. it's like me asking you if you'ed walk across an open field and you say sure, and I say well I would have to think about it because what it was hunting season and you were dressed in a deer costume. LOL

[Starling]

Well you said a "friend". Do you have a lot of friends that are seriously deranged?...

I guess I meant friend as opposed to stranger, Kelly, and the person I spoke of was rooming with someone I was close to. But yes, I have many friends who are deranged, albeit in a benign and amusing way mostly. And damn it, some of them must crossdress. If only we could all come out together, we could have a lot of fun.

LAL


...it was hunting season and you were dressed in a deer costume. LOL

Make that a doe costume and you're on. I'll take my chances.

LAL

[Chrissy be good]

If a friend of mine was close enough to me to share this secret, I would definetelty share my experiences. It would be great to have a friend to confide and dress with.

[Lisa Golightly]

Oddly they tend to come out to my best friend Rob... It may be because they know that we are friends so consider him a sympathetic ear... He's had two confess all to my knowledge. I actually know one of them... Not well but we've met a few times. Maybe I just frighten him... lol... There but for the grace etc.

I know Rob doesn't consider them to be anything like me, but I'm impressed he takes it all in his stride. :)

[Di]

A good friend came out to me many years back......I read everything I could get my hands on.....and talked them into telling their wife. It was my intro into this world and my interest was peaked and met my partner here at the forum.

[Karren H]

Nope... not yet....

[Starling]

...It would be great to have a friend to confide and dress with.

It sure would, Chrissy. I'm lucky my SO is great and beautiful, and I love her to bits, but it'd be nice to have a bosom buddy, too.

Meanwhile, it's super to have this place to be myself and feel all girly. I'm a much sweeter lady than gentleman, and it's deeply enriching for me to wander these emotional frontiers with both tenderfoots (tenderfeet?) and trailblazers.

LAL


...Maybe I just frighten him... lol... There but for the grace...

I'm sure he might be awed by your stunning presence, Lisa.

LAL


A good friend came out to me many years back...It was my intro into this world...

You're a beautiful lady, Di, and thanks for being you. What a dream!

LAL


Nope... not yet....

Maybe you're simply too scary-macho in drab, Karren. It would be the other side of the coin to your beautiful femme.

LAL

[brianna-lynn]

SINCE MY FRIEND AND I CAN ONLY DRESS AT HIS PLACE we are both supportive of each other

[Lindahexi]

If it was a good friend that had enough trust in me to tell me he was CD, I'd confide in him and hope that we could share our desires.

[kellycan27]

Doe costume.... Does are not allowed to be shot at are they? LOL
Anyway I got your point.

[Starling]

...MY FRIEND AND I CAN ONLY DRESS AT HIS PLACE...

It's nice to have a clubhouse, Brianna-Lynn. Good for you!

LAL


...I'd confide in him and hope that we could share our desires.

That would be ideal, Linda. And your avatar is very pretty.

LAL


...Does are not allowed to be shot at are they? LOL
...

I wish my post was that clever, Kelly, but it wasn't. I only meant I'd be willing to risk being shot at for the chance to be a doe for a day. Duh.

LAL

[deja true]

Well...kinda!

I've related this story once before, but it seems to fit here really well...

I outted myself to a woman friend (my best friend's wife) by showing her my BeAll pics on flickr and asking her if she recognized anybody. When she finally did recognize me we talked a bit about it and she was very supportive and complimentary. Naturally I asked her not to tell anyone else and she completely understood and agreed.

A couple days later I was having a beer with my friend (her husband) and he told me he and I were even more alike than I had originally thought, 'cos he was a CD, too. So even though she had promised not to tell, I absolutely cannot fault her for telling him. He though he was all alone in this very small community, too!

We have been great friends for almost 30 years and this new little bit of sharing has made us even more like brothers than before.

We'll prolly never do anything here together. The place is way too small and gossip ridden to even think about it, but who knows...Maybe we'll end up going to a conference together or something.

I'm almost afraid what the two of us would look like together... probably a couple of totally used up ol' groupies left over from the '60's. LOL!

:D

[linnea]

It would all depend on trust. If I trusted the other person, then I would probably disclose and hope for a friendship to emerge.

[rickie121x]

95% of the time that I go out en-femme, it is to my BDSM group's parties and activities - it would seem I am unconditionally accepted there

Occasionally, there is another "dressed" crossdresser, although not often. However, in the 20 something years I have been doing this, many males have come to me and told about their various levels in involvement in crossdressing. I would believe that is because of my ease, my apparent lack of guilt or shame, and my clear pleasure in what I am doing. :daydreaming:

None of them have been friends though....

Rickie

[froggyspad]

I sadly have never met another CDer in person. (That I knew about anyway)

[Mistybtm]

No one in person but i guess being in this forum we all have in a way.

[dilane]

I knew two T-girls about 15 years ago, and they were the best of friends. They lived across the street from each other, and they and their wives travelled together almost every year. Each was quite an accomplished CD'er, but kept that world separate from the straight world.

After umpteen years of friendship, one of them came out to the other -- there were hints, they both knew a *lot* about fashion and expressed interest in feminine attire. They were both retired by the time the brave one of them took a chance. When I knew them, they were the best of friends, going out and about, having their hair done, etc.

[ginacduk]

Quite a few males when on line to me have come out as being a crossdresser.

Gina

[inquisitiv]

I'm deeply closeted and have never revealed anything to anybody before joining this forum. And no, nobody has ever confided in me. There was once, about 8 years ago, an interesting lunch time discussion in a group of 5 us at work in which a close colleague, the part-time entrepeneur, described some exotic hardware he used to sell on e-bay, and then complained about not being able to find 6" stilettos in large sizes. Golly-if he only knew. I was surprised and rather startled by his comment, but I just kept eating my sandwich trying not to pay attention. To this day I don't know his situation or the reason for asking, but it surely was curious.

[mklinden2010]

Men and women have "come out" to me for years.

Why is this so unheard of with the rest of you - of all people?

All I can tell you is that I talk and LISTEN to my customers and clients and, if you listen carefully, most people are broadcasting constantly on station, "ME-ME-ME."

"Me? I'm going to the gay pride parade - with my "sister.""

"Me? I have "a friend" that I like to hang out with on weekends."

"Me? I think that Bush guy is a real bible-thumping, closed minded, fool who hates gays and lesbians."

"Me? I have this thing for girl's wrestling."

"Me? I've been looking for some 6" heels - which are hard to find when you wear a men's 14..."

Connecting the dots, by asking a question or relating someone else you know who's done/is doing the same thing, is just not that hard... Take a breath and say, "Oh, really?"

Then, there's the other angle on this.

I don't give off a cop/priest/suburban-dolt/hiding-my-light-under-a-bushel vibe. I'm openly open minded about other people's situations and free enough about my own life if anyone wants to know.

Interestingly, and I think this supports my thesis, it's not where I am or how I'm dressed that determines who volunteers what... Happens too much at work, at the gas station, at parties, and, at church.

Nearly every time, I've been in guy clothes just talking to someone and they just put it out there. Usually easily deniable, but open enough that you can ask for more with that simple, "Oh, really?"

I'm sure it's just their comfort zone with what I say and do. No one has ever said, "You looked like someone I could talk to about this." But, they have said, "I just thought, from the things you'd said, that it would be OK to bring this up."

Give 'em room people - everyone in need is just looking for a friend.

Oh... How does it go from there?

Life goes on. Some are relieved to finally tell someone, some tell me I was on their practice list before telling their family, and some seem glad to have the matter out of the way so we do other things besides worry about who knows what.

CDing is not really an issue, nor are TS/TG/Gay differences in our lives after we cover the basics. We're just people who want to live our lives without worry or hassle.

Isn't everybody?

[Starling]

I knew two T-girls about 15 years ago...they and their wives travelled together almost every year...They were both retired by the time the brave one of them took a chance. When I knew them, they were the best of friends, going out and about, having their hair done, etc.

Dilane, this sounds a lot like Bob Newhart and Don Rickles. But nope, they're still working. Seriously, though, it's a story both sweet and sad, isn't it?

:sigh:Lallie