Questions for those whose SO's are accepting of their CDing

[Patricia1]

I'm reasonably sure that many of these questions have been posed & answered in the past but I thought this would be the easiest way for me to get what I'm looking for in one place. Thanks for your patience and your thoughtful replies. So... how did things go for you & yours after the initial shock wore off? How did you integrate your female self into your lives together? How did you work out your routines, boundaries and any practical matters of living together in your new state? If your CDing has a sexual component to it, how did you go about working that out? DOs & DON'Ts would be appreciated. What I'm looking for are the "modus vivendi" stories that show that coming out to your SO can work successfully and that life, in fact, does go on normally and happily.

[Tiffany Leigh]

First, in our relationship, Tiffany stays out of the bed! I told my wife when our relationship got serious, playfully i put on her panties and she liked it, often encourages me to wear some that she has bought for me. Over the past 7 years Tiffany has emerged with her only 4 times and 2 of them were halloween( Ive met my halloween quota for a while LOL) She has helped get a wig shoes and make-up, but I only let her tell me when she wants to hang out with Tiffany. But we have a lot of fun shopping and I will often comment that Tiffany would like something, our secret, everyone else thinks its someone else!

[JoAnne Wheeler]

COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION and then a little more

COMMUNICATION

JoAnne Wheeler

[Sheila]

Patricia thanks for the confirmation that SO's are welcome to chip in here.

Debs and I met on here (so no coming out took place except for Mr Debs :D:daydreaming:) and at the moment we are living 300+ miles apart ...... we get tog as often as we can and we talk about everything, be it cding or just what we have done with our day and our plans for tommorow.

The internet is wonderful, because we live so far apart, we webcam, so I am either seeing and talking to Male Debs or Debs, on a nightly basis :D and just as if we were actually living tog ( that to happen soon :D) we wander, sometimes I am away feeding my brood or jumping in a bath, having friends round, but whatever I or we are doing it is nice to know that we can return to the computer whenever and just say hi.

I watch Mr turn into Debs, and at the, end of the evening transform back, just as if we were living tog and I was either wandering in to put clothes away or just sit and chat as he transforms into Debs.

I spent 12 glorious days & nights with them over Christmas and new year, and this was our first opportinty to experiance Mr transforming to Debs and before it happened we both talked about what we were comfortable with (or thought we would be) & and also both expressed our bounderies, strangely by the end of the evening only one boundery remained in place and it still does to this day ..... we both choose to move the bounderies we felt would make us feel more comfortable that first time & it happened naturally. It bodes well for our lives , that we can accept that there are things we may not feel comfortable with, and that the other will respect that:)

Both of us are maybe not that quite comfortable about saying no to the other over things, but we are getting there . It's more a case of perhaps over compensating towards the others feelings when in fact the other may have been just as happy not to do it ........ does that make any sense :doh:.......... sometimes he will say that he is gonna be Debs that night others I may say "Am I gonna see Debs tonight" usually we are bith happy about it, bit just occasionally one of us isn't and we have worked ways round that even from this distance :D

We talk and we talk & we talk .......... did I mention we talk, & we listen & we listen & we listen .... did I mention we listen :D

[Holly]

I'm reasonably sure that many of these questions have been posed & answered in the past...They have. Use the forum SEARCH function and search for the word "accepting." You will find 100's and 100's of posts.

[SuzyZahn]

I agree with Joanne,,,communication and more,,,don`t push it,,,take small steps,,,bottom line is,,,you both must love and respect each other first and always,,,and then understand that everyone has `faults`,,,,and then learn to accept each others `shortcomings ie faults,,,,Seemed to work for us!!!

[Sandra Dunn]

My spouse knew about Sandra before we got married the first time. A few years ago Sandra busted out of the closet and hasn't slowed down. I am out and about and involved in the community. I am a board member for the local GLBT community center and recently elected to serve as an Elder Board member for the local MCC church. I do have to set one night a week to be in butch mode and even then Sandra still as her presents known. I don't own to many butch clothes and as they wear I don't replace them so I end up wearing the gender neutral clothes I have.

I memntioned the first marriage, we got married a second time only this time it was a marriage between Sandra and my spouse. I was the bride this time so she made a commitment to me in both ways and I to her. Any relationship outside of our Holy Unoin is like any affair outside of marriage and I'm not looking.

We do talk alot about the TG stuff and we keep adjusting, I would like to transition if not completely at least part way for now. Still I do not make it a priority, I feel we have built a life together and have a future together that she has given a lot in this relationship and the least I can do is meet her part way. Someday she'll agree to the SRS. For now I've waited all these years what's a few more.

I do present myself as MRS. Sandra Dunn when I'm out and about, yes I wear a wedding ring (female one of course) one she placed on my fingure when we got married.

HUGS Sandra

[geri-tg.]

Three things are a must.TALK TALK TALK and when you talk you must listen.We have come along way as a husband who is a CDer and a wife that I respect and would do anything for. We have ground rules and we have never been happier. Good luck.:thumbsup:

[KandisTX]

COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION and then a little more

COMMUNICATION

JoAnne Wheeler

That's it exactly.

In my situation, my wife (GlitterGG on this forum, although she does not visit much), has known since we met (told her three days after we met), and she has been accepting and understanding ever since.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Sherry-Stephanie]

It's jsut been about a year now that I approached my wife about the idea of me wanting to dress as a female...I hadn't do it at that point...so it was going to be a new experience for both of us....after the initial "what the f**k is going on here" response from her we talked about for awhile and then started off on this journey....and we started from scratch....

Kind of had to hold back to stay paced with her and her feelings....and not to get to far ahead or carried away....

Key word(s) is openess, communication and moderation....and go at her pace and not at warp speed that many of us who get into being "femme" would like to go at.....