Kate Simmons
03-12-2009, 11:30 AM
I've seen responses to both sides of the issue when a CD with an accepting SO encounters days in which said SO wants nothing to do with the femme side of their partner and instead needs the male side. In a few cases, the SO actually prefers the femme side to the guy side. This can tend to confuse the hell out of a person on a good day let alone a bad one. It seems to me the CDing is tolerated at best(in most cases) without a carte blance easement to "pinkland" and an expected egress from it at any given time without notice. This is, however, the nature of a partnership.
Welcome to the real world of expected role playing according to genetics. This is a world wherein men are expected to act like men and women are expected to act like women, whatever that means but it's a world we all perpetuate through no fault of our own. For the CDer to fit in such a world is a slippery slope indeed and an accepting SO even more slippery and so it goes. It's not all peaches and cream for either partner really. So, what do we do about it?
I see every perceived disadvantage as a potential advantage and learning opportunity. One of those opportunities is to get to know and learn our SO's limitations and work with that. It really goes both ways and cannot be limited to the man or the woman but has to be considered as a partnership, based on the wants and needs of both partners.
The bottom line is that we all have bad days and we are all human. While it's nice to have the security of having our expectations met, it's also good to always talk about the feelings. Otherwise, how do we really know how the other one feels inside? I think the best way to look at it is not as a man's or woman's role per se but as an equal partnership. It's good to know that members of this Forum have a head start on that as that is the real formula for success.:)
Welcome to the real world of expected role playing according to genetics. This is a world wherein men are expected to act like men and women are expected to act like women, whatever that means but it's a world we all perpetuate through no fault of our own. For the CDer to fit in such a world is a slippery slope indeed and an accepting SO even more slippery and so it goes. It's not all peaches and cream for either partner really. So, what do we do about it?
I see every perceived disadvantage as a potential advantage and learning opportunity. One of those opportunities is to get to know and learn our SO's limitations and work with that. It really goes both ways and cannot be limited to the man or the woman but has to be considered as a partnership, based on the wants and needs of both partners.
The bottom line is that we all have bad days and we are all human. While it's nice to have the security of having our expectations met, it's also good to always talk about the feelings. Otherwise, how do we really know how the other one feels inside? I think the best way to look at it is not as a man's or woman's role per se but as an equal partnership. It's good to know that members of this Forum have a head start on that as that is the real formula for success.:)