what was your worst experience when someone found out about your cd'ing?

[newcd]

mine was when i was 16 i was visiting family in N.C and my cousin caught me adn hit me in the face with a 4 way the thing and busted my front tooth in half ive never gotten it fixed because it lets me know how big of an asshole someone can be he ended up getting 3 and 1/2 years for aggrivated assault so i was happy in the long run anyways i was just wondering.

:love:mary

[Karren H]

Mine was when my wife found out.... lots of screaming and crying.... it was really bad.... Ohhh and she was pretty upset too!!! lol

[JoannaCaroline]

It wasn't!! Not even close. She was very sweet, very nice, but said she couldnt handle dating a TG. We stopped dating but were still friends

The second not to terrible thing was an ex who decided to out me to the everyone. No one bothered to even tell me for over a year. No one cared. What was I so worried about?

[KandisTX]

When I first came out to my adoptive "mother", immediately it was trips to therapists, lots of Bible thumping. Forced me right back into the closet until I moved back with my real dad and stepmother (whom knows and supports Kandis immensely).

Kandis:love::rose2:

[AmandaM]

My girlfriend told all my friends and then they left me. I was alone.

[Starling]

...No one cared. What was I so worried about?

It only takes one jerk to hurt your feelings (or your face), Joanna, but I think that level of casual acceptance is more widespread than we realize.

LAL

[Dawn Marie]

When my first wife found out, there was no screaming or yelling, she just picked up her stuff and left. I got the divorce papers two weeks later.
Again when my second wife found out pretty much the same thing. It took a long time to get over this. Then I found out that both were seing somebody else on the side while we were marrried, and they both got remairried just a few months after the divorce. So I'm pretty sure it wasn't my Cding that was the problem. But life goes on..

[trisha11]

My worst experience is when my now exwife used my cding as a reason for our divorce and as a reason to try and get more custody of our son. It is very obvious that there are some people in this world that are very shallow, uninformed and self righteous
trisha

[KandisTX]

When my first wife found out, there was no screaming or yelling, she just picked up her stuff and left. I got the divorce papers two weeks later.
Again when my second wife found out pretty much the same thing. It took a long time to get over this. Then I found out that both were seing somebody else on the side while we were marrried, and they both got remairried just a few months after the divorce. So I'm pretty sure it wasn't my Cding that was the problem. But life goes on..


Good to see you back again Dawn Marie :) Yeah, I would wager that your CDing didn't have much to do with why they left other than it gave them a reason they could use to "justify" it.



My worst experience is when my now exwife used my cding as a reason for our divorce and as a reason to try and get more custody of our son. It is very obvious that there are some people in this world that are very shallow, uninformed and self righteous
trisha


Trisha,

I could echo that story verbatim regarding my first wife. What a spiteful woman she was.


My girlfriend told all my friends and then they left me. I was alone.

AmandaM,

The way I looked at this situation when it happened to me was "If they cannot accept or support ALL of me, then I don't need or want them as friends. You're better off without shallow people like that in your life.

Kandis:Love::rose2:

[Billijo49504]

Karen, did you get hit by a puck????BJ

[LeslieSD]

When my first wife found out, there was no screaming or yelling, she just picked up her stuff and left. I got the divorce papers two weeks later.
Again when my second wife found out pretty much the same thing. It took a long time to get over this. Then I found out that both were seing somebody else on the side while we were marrried, and they both got remairried just a few months after the divorce. So I'm pretty sure it wasn't my Cding that was the problem. But life goes on..

Aren't you thankful that your CDing makes them setting you free? :-)

[Syndi]

Ugh! Don't remind me! LOL
Anyway, moved out ,still not accepted and can't get them to stop dropping by whenever they feel like it. Oh well at least I get to bring Syndi out now and then .

[JoAnne Wheeler]

When my Spouse found out the 3rd time (about 16 months ago - really bad

for the last 8 months) that my great purge of 1995 at her request and

insistence did not "cure" me as thought (actually I felt like I'v been existing

in exile) and that JoAnne has returned in all of her glory stronger and more

determined than ever.

Life has been a continuing HELL fot the last 8 months.

JoAnne Wheeler

[Jan Michell Collins]

the first two times I got cought my wife tried to change me with theripy but thhat didn't work ha ha the therd time I think she's more leaninant to me. Well I'm still in the house LOL

[DonnaG]

I guess folks are more understanding on the left coast. When word got out about my CD my "friends" avoided me, the church shunned me, neighbors quit talking to me... I finally moved.

[JoannaCaroline]

I guess folks are more understanding on the left coast. When word got out about my CD my "friends" avoided me, the church shunned me, neighbors quit talking to me... I finally moved.


Friends shunned you? I don't think so. they weren't your friends. When my ex outed me to everyone I know, I didn't even hear about it for over a year. No one cared.

Church? You don't even want me to start about that. I have no respect for them. Idiots from the word go! Although I do know a very cool babtist church in Salt lake. half the choir are gay men and they have Drag queens for Bingo night. Don't believe me? Video is on Youtube.

Neighbors? you're better off in another neighborhood

[RylieCD]

Of course the worst experience was when my wife found out. At the time we were on opposite shifts and we had to talk via the phone and not in person. I would have rather told her myself and in person. let alone not being able to see her and explain further.

[Lorileah]

wasn't a terrible experience but it just happened two weeks ago.

As most of you know my wife recently passed away after battling cancer and I haven't had much time to dress recently. Well one night I was dressed in skirt,makeup, wig, forms and sweater alone in the house (took my shoes off to watch TV) when the doorbell rang. I thought it was another delivery of flowers or something so I took the wig off and cracked the door. There stood my backyard neighbor. He was there to tell me his wife had died a few weeks earlier (that was a shock.).

Anyway after a few moments I decided that him seeing me in a skirt and sweater outfit was far less than giving him support for his loss (he didn't know about my wife so we both needed support). When he left he apologized for not calling ahead.

[BillieJoe]

The worst time I ever had was when I was fifteen. I took advantage of some family that went on vacation and left their front door open. They had three daughters all around my size. To say there was a cornucopia of lingerie, skirts and dresses would be an understatement. I was really enjoying myself when I heard a car door slam. I hurried to change clothes but the man of the house walked in on me and caught me partially dressed. I could've died right then and there. He ordered me to get into my own stuff and follow him to the living room. He was in the process of calling the police when I turned and ran. I was later arrested that evening when a policeman stopped me and started questioning me. Seems there was a pretty good description given of me. Well my parents were called and I was sent home with my father. Lots of hurt, anger and embarrassment on my parents side and my side. The next day the judge made the determination that I had a severe emotional problem and then ordered me into counseling. What a load of crap that was where supposedly the participants had similar desires such as I had. The others never came close to what I had and I never brought my situation up. I've had other bad experiences but nothing like that nightmare.

[satinsam]

Hi all,
Been too long since I visited the site, came on this evening uk time and found this thread and identified with it straight away.
Two instances spring to mind for me - first aged 16 mother found some of her clothes in my room and gave me the third degree, not a discussion at all - both barrels full on - yep as previous replies have stated - therapy would be needed if I didn't stop such lewd weird behaviour - nothing I could say about feeling natural dressed as a girl went in at all. She had me down for being someone who would be taking ladies undies from washing lines......
Yet she had often said when I was due to be born she wished for a girl believe it or not.
I never knew if she told my dad - he died couple of years back so I guess now I'll never know.
My brother and his mates obviously knew somehow as they had digs about 'your slips showing Gladys' being their fave comment.
The second instance was my wife finding my clothes store at home - I tried fobbing her off but we never discusssed it properly - she has found things since and nothing is said - I wish it would be and we could discuss SatinSam/Samantha. That she knows as says nothing is worse than my mother's reaction I think - any comments welcomed.

[JulieC]

The second instance was my wife finding my clothes store at home - I tried fobbing her off but we never discusssed it properly - she has found things since and nothing is said - I wish it would be and we could discuss SatinSam/Samantha. That she knows as says nothing is worse than my mother's reaction I think - any comments welcomed.

I understand your fear after your mother's reaction, but the ball is squarely in your court with regards to your wife. She's probably not bringing it up because you're lying to her. She doesn't want to go there. Up to you. She knows you dress.

[TGMarla]

That's easy. It was when my wife's then 11-year old kid came home unexpectedly, saw me, and subsequently outed me to my wife and all her relatives. Frankly, that was a bit of a pain.

[docrobbysherry]

I guess folks are more understanding on the left coast. When word got out about my CD my "friends" avoided me, the church shunned me, neighbors quit talking to me... I finally moved.

I have NEWS for u Donna, the OC, where I live, is NOT Hollyweird! We don't have many CDs out and about, where I live. So, it's NOT the whole West Coast that's open minded!:sad:
It's SO rite wing here, even my CLOSET grimaces, when it sees me reaching for a dress!:doh:

As for the thread question, " I don't know". It hasn't happened yet!:brolleyes:

[Meghan]

No question about it. I was in the 6th grade, my whole family had left (thankfully) and I was just starting to get dressed in the basement (drab clothes in my room upstairs) pulling a skirt out of a chest in the basement, my moms heels from the closet upstairs and her pantyhose from the second drawer in her dresser.

I heard the front door open and I freaked! I stripped off all my clothes and jammed them in the chest. She was coming down stairs!

By the time she saw me, I was sweating and nervous and naked, I had no time to get dressed.

I told her I was just down stairs working out...like that would fly.

She started digging through everyting. By then, I was hiding in my room in the dark as scared as I have ever been.

I heard mom crying in the distance, when I heard her say to my dad, crying...

"He's been wearing my clothes!"

It's hard to even write about it now...

Meghan

[Nicole Erin]

Couple times when I was a kid and got caught wearing women's things.
Once in 7th gread when the neighborhood prick decided to announce it to everyone. I don't think anyone really cared, but at that age things seem so dramatic.

Another time when I was probably 10 and my dad found a pair of hose under my bed.

So nothing really exciting to tell here.

[Lee Andrews]

The worst for me was in my late teens, I told an ex-girlfriend. At first we had a lot of fun with it but then all of a sudden she dropped me like a hot patato and a few people were a little different with me. Not a big deal, they we not close friends but I guess a few more know than expected.
My scariest was telling my wife when we were dating. I had after that episode, made a promise to myself to tell whomever I was with, my secret. I didn't want to find out years down the road she would leave after finding out, better now than later in my mind. Thankfully she has accepted me, all of me. There are rules and she is less happy to see it now but I am still allowed to do my thing even if it is by myself. It's not ideal but it is a heck of alot better than others situations on this forum and for that I am greatful.

[kellycan27]

Hurting my dad.. he was devastated, a really great dad, we were very close.
After i accidently outted myself myself... Our relationship was never the same.

[tamarav]

That is an easy one to remember...

December 23, 1975, Denver Colorado. Arrested after my car slid into a snow bank for "Appearing in public in the clothes of the opposite sex". Go figure. Hauled off to jail where I spent an uneventful but sleepless night in a cell with drunks and gangbangers. they took all my femme stuff for "evidence" . Went before the judge the next morning, released with no shoes in the snow. No kidding. Got my impounded car out of hock, put on the spare clothes I had in the trunk and went home.

[Helen 2]

I had been crossdressing for three years with Mom's permission and encouragement and one day Dad arrived from a trip a day early and was in the house when Mom and I walked in from the movies....

He almost did not recognize me at first. I mean, I was in a dress, stockings, heels, wig, full make-up, etc....when he did, oh, my God....it was not fun. First time I saw my Dad cry...

[Sallee]

it seems like most of the times it was when wives found out or as teenagers. We all know of the raging emotions when your teens.
I guess my worst experience when my folks caught me as a young teen and sent me to therapy. Unfortunately for me I didn't open up to the therapist. Looking back that wasn't so bad I would love to see a therapist now, boy would I open up. not that there is much to hide any more

[MarinaTwelve200]

Fortunately, I have never been "caught" yet. Judging from the reactions described above, I would dare say that in 9 out of ten cases, the problem was that the persons involved thought you were a (shudder) HOMOSEXUAL. ---and along with all the public "mithology" that goes along with it---Never being "a man" in the eyes of a father, running away from ones wife with another man, and not to mention fooling around and spreading AIDS(!) etc. etc.

I would think if the danger of EVER being discovered existed that one would be sure that those close to him would be a bit sexually educated--and know the difference between a Cd and a Homosexual, before such an unfortunate event should happen.
This education could be done indescretely, a little at a time by exploiting oppourtunities wherein the subject matter comes up---such as when watching a Television show that might feature a CD event, etc. if the person watching gets upset and talking about "G.D. "Fags!", etc. you might ask "how do you know he's homosexual? he might just be a Crossdresser." If they reply "its the same G.D. Thing" for example, you might LAUGH and accuse them of not knowing what a "homo" is---and likely be right--thus safely opening up an oppourtunity to explain the difference--or embarass him into looking up the real answer for themselves.----You get the idea.

Not that there is anything "wrong with homo/bisexuality, but I would bet that homophobia of the worst and most ignorant variety is behind extreme and even violent reactions of others to crossdressing. Save for that, most would find CDing no really big deal at all.

My point is make sure that people around you are "educated" in these matters before anything unfortunate happens.--even if they remain homophobes, at least they should know that CDing is not the same thing---

[KandisTX]

Fortunately, I have never been "caught" yet. Judging from the reactions described above, I would dare say that in 9 out of ten cases, the problem was that the persons involved thought you were a (shudder) HOMOSEXUAL. ---and along with all the public "mithology" that goes along with it---Never being "a man" in the eyes of a father, running away from ones wife with another man, and not to mention fooling around and spreading AIDS(!) etc. etc.

I would think if the danger of EVER being discovered existed that one would be sure that those close to him would be a bit sexually educated--and know the difference between a Cd and a Homosexual, before such an unfortunate event should happen.
This education could be done indescretely, a little at a time by exploiting oppourtunities wherein the subject matter comes up---such as when watching a Television show that might feature a CD event, etc. if the person watching gets upset and talking about "G.D. "Fags!", etc. you might ask "how do you know he's homosexual? he might just be a Crossdresser." If they reply "its the same G.D. Thing" for example, you might LAUGH and accuse them of not knowing what a "homo" is---and likely be right--thus safely opening up an oppourtunity to explain the difference--or embarass him into looking up the real answer for themselves.----You get the idea.

Not that there is anything "wrong with homo/bisexuality, but I would bet that homophobia of the worst and most ignorant variety is behind extreme and even violent reactions of others to crossdressing. Save for that, most would find CDing no really big deal at all.

My point is make sure that people around you are "educated" in these matters before anything unfortunate happens.--even if they remain homophobes, at least they should know that CDing is not the same thing---

The only problem I see with this theory Marina is that when I was caught, "mom" was very right wing conservative and quite honestly had no intentions of hearing any sort of explanation that might make sense. Too many times many of us were subject to that idea that men are men, women are women and never do you cross that line.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[MarinaTwelve200]

The only problem I see with this theory Marina is that when I was caught, "mom" was very right wing conservative and quite honestly had no intentions of hearing any sort of explanation that might make sense. Too many times many of us were subject to that idea that men are men, women are women and never do you cross that line.

Kandis:love::rose2:

Of course it wont work ALL the time, and Knowledge WILL take the edge off---and if one really IS homosexual, then you DO have a more complex problem of dealing with the homophobia itself---rather than simply SEPERATING CDing from it.

Hey, I am a right wing "conservative" type too. That only means we use logic and the lessons of past history rather than emotions and often impractical 'ideals when dealing with things. Racisim, sexisim homophobia and the like are common to the ignorant on both the Right AND the Left.

[Lisa Golightly]

Well my first serious girlfriend didn't like the fact that I wasn't merely CD but had bigger issues which she and I realised when we slept together... She kind of trashed my name around campus when I told her I just couldn't love her how she needed... Hmmmmmm... It was quite a coming out... lol... I used to get a few stares I can tell you.

Still no harm done, and she found a nice boy to marry and have children with. I told her she could do better than me :)

When my brother found out was pretty rough too... We still don't really talk, but that's down to him... *sigh*

[Marlena_Sparkles]

Mines a good one. :(( Okay so I am in th US Army. I had just gotton back off of leave. While on leave I did the woman thing,whole nine yards. Anyways we had been doing the usual in the motorpool and it was extremely cold that day. They called us back to the barracks to meet in the common area. Out of nowhere I hear "okay everyone take off your shoes & socks" We wanna check your feet for signs of frostbite. I'm like NO WAY! Ya see I left my toenails painted red. Hell no ones gonna see? Yea right. So everyones got there shoes off but me. Now I am really starting to sweat. Anyways after refusing a direct order,they took me off to a room and closed the door. There I was with 2 E6's & an E7. I had no choice but to take them off. I gave them some story while on leave I got really drunk & my friends did this to me. I told them I couldn't get it off. They were like no problem. This is what you need to do. Then they're like "This won't go any farther than this room". Uh Huh. RIGHT. I got picked & ribbed on the rest of my time with that company. It sucked.

[KandisTX]

Of course it wont work ALL the time, and Knowledge WILL take the edge off---and if one really IS homosexual, then you DO have a more complex problem of dealing with the homophobia itself---rather than simply SEPERATING CDing from it.

Hey, I am a right wing "conservative" type too. That only means we use logic and the lessons of past history rather than emotions and often impractical 'ideals when dealing with things. Racisim, sexisim homophobia and the like are common to the ignorant on both the Right AND the Left.


I should have said they were VERY religious right wing conservatives. ;)

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Starling]

...Went before the judge the next morning, released with no shoes in the snow...

It's barbaric, Tamara, the impulse to punish those who are different. What humiliation to endure as such a young person...but your great spirit obviously prevailed in the end!

LAL

[Sharon B.]

When the spouse found out a lot of crying, shouting and makeup loving, once she found out that I continue to do it even after telling me not to. Then the in-laws hearing about it from the spouse then the big D-I-V-O-R-C-E came and either settle for what she wanted or my place of employment would hear about it. I settled for what she wanted.

[Noxvictum]

I'd have to say I'm very, very fortunate in getting caught... Happened three times, and of course, I lied my butt off. Only worked the first and last time. First time, being stationed in Japan, I had to get a hotel room to dress up. Well, I was hungry, and went to get some grub. Now, I didn't have contacts at the time, and couldn't see to get off the eye liner. I figured it's dark, noone would would notice. WRONG. My coworkers saw me. "Dude, are you wearing eyeliner!?" Many calls were made, and I covered up saying it was a prank a one-night stand had played on me. Second time, which still infuriates me, my roomate (still in Japan), had gone through my closet. Found ALL MY STUFF. First I was mad at myself for forgetting to close the dang door all the way. But this guy is just plain bad news, so I was doomed anyway. He told EVERYONE. There was time between the discovery and confrontation, because I just happened to go on leave right after this had happened. Well, when I came back, I was still pretty heated over it. My buddy asked me what was eating me, and all I told him was that my roomate had really pissed me off. He told me he knew why, and explained what he knew, and offered his questions, you know, "are you gay? how often?", all that stuff. I told him what I do, and he was cool. My friends at work were... okay. They were a little weirded out, but I'm weird as far as they're concerned anyway, so they didn't really care. My best friend knows, and he thinks its funny. Offered to brush my hair (his idea of humor), and threatened to slap me on the butt when I'm out in public en femme. Told my mom, because hell, everyone else knew. She wasn't surprised in the least. I never was very masculine. She doubted her maternal skills because her first thought was "He's gonna need shoes..." My step dad knows, because mom told him. He's only concerned because I'm in the Navy, and he doesn't want to see me get the crap beaten outta me... I've learned, for the most part, noone cares. And if they truly care, they'll still love you. If they can't stand you for it, you don't need them (as painful as that may be). My future roomates know. They don't care. Got a place lined up, and I really don't feel like being closeted anymore. Besides, Austin's a lot like Seattle (current locale for a few more weeks), and I've been out en femme here, so screw it! And if worse comes to worse, I won't be alone. I know I'm truly blessed with such accepting friends and family, and I am truly sorry for those of you who have not been so fortunate.

[sometimes_miss]

The worst? Divorced, and blackmailed over it for all the assets in our marriage, and being left with all the debt. If I didn't comply, she said she would out me to all my friends, family, and employer. Having spent the first half of my life as an outcast, I wasn't willing to risk that.