Just a thought . . .

[PanteeQueen]

My SO said something to me the other day that made me think. Why is it that someone can bankrupt their family with their additions/vices i.e. gambling, drugs/alcohol or lead a life of crime but still be looked favorably upon by society than someone who is an upstanding citizen without even a parking ticket to their name but is a CD or TS? I really can't come up with a good answer. Just wondering what every thinks.

[StevieTV]

Life is not fair. That's why.

[kristinacd55]

My SO said something to me the other day that made me think. Why is it that someone can bankrupt their family with their additions/vices i.e. gambling, drugs/alcohol or lead a life of crime but still be looked favorably upon by society than someone who is an upstanding citizen without even a parking ticket to their name but is a CD or TS? I really can't come up with a good answer. Just wondering what every thinks.
The thing is can those people live with themselves?? I sure couldn't

[Shikyo]

Life will never be fair, no matter how one looks at it. There are things that are socially fine to be done and some that are not. Being too different from the social standards is often a bad thing to do. Not just with cross dressing and transsexuality, but it is not that far in the past when homosexuals were totally out of the society in fact in some countries/locations they still are.
The more people there are who will cross dress the less evil it will become. Like I like to say: If there's more insane people than sane, doesn't that make the sane insane instead?

[StaceyJane]

Come on now, everyone knows that crossdressing is far worse than gambling, drugs or crime.

[linnea]

It's one of the oddities of American society. American, in general, will talk about any heinous crime, all kinds of bizarre contortions of life, but they will not talk openly about sex and sexuality. Menstuaration, a common and natural phenomenon, gets the hush-hush treatment and gets covered over in conversation and advertisement.
Gender and sex get the same sort of treatment. To me it seems silly and immature, but that doesn't soften the blow of narrowmindedness and intolerance that accompany discussions of the topics and reactions to their manifestations.
Crossdressers are often distained more than felons. I don't know that this is a matter of fairness or simply one of the many cultural abberations that come on the tails of a sexually repressed society.
Whatever it is, it is aggravating and discouraging.

[froggyspad]

It is all about perception. I have noticed that there are things society will forgive easier than others. If a man beats his wife...shame on him, next story please. If a man wears a dress...WOAH! There is something wrong with that guy. We need to take his kids, he might molest them.

It is seriously annoying how society can become desencitized (sp?) to some things that are aweful but as soon has somebody does something new, they cant let it go.

Have you ever noticed that people with certain behavors and habits are steriotyped has not being about to make smart decisions? Why must one that does not conform to social norms be so punished in our "free" country?

*steps off soap box*

Thank you for listening.

[ChibiKaiju]

Because quite simply, they aren't challenging what society has set up and steadfastly protects. They remain part of the system by being the seedy underbelly. Us crossdressers are just a bunch of con-women out to ruin everyone's rose coloured glasses... speaking of which I must remember to get pink sunglasses

[Shikyo]

Come on now, everyone knows that crossdressing is far worse than gambling, drugs or crime.

What a lie.

Gambling: In cross dressing we know that there's no chance of winning any money, just losing it. That is a big difference you know.

Drugs: Buying new clothes, shoes, etc. Is a lot cheaper than drugs. We also do not get addicted to the items we buy, but to the shopping itself.

Crime: We are not braking any important laws, just a few occasionally when we need to pee or do something else minor like that. In the end, we are constantly breaking laws, but it's nothing big like a murder.

*giggles*

[Shari]

Because it's a mixed up, jumbled up, shook up world.

Not a lot seems to make sense to me anymore.

Sometimes i think that snuff fantasies or bestiality would be looked upon more favorably than what we do, or any other number of bizarre and/or anti social behavior.

Sigh.

[Mollyanne]

Its just one of life's paradoxes that isn't fair but then again life isn't fair!!!!! Just gotta move forward though and do what you gotta do!!!

Mollyanne

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Because Society, as a whole, treats us like second class Lepers - actually

second class lepers are treated better

JoAnne Wheeler

[Sarah...]

Why is it that someone can bankrupt their family with their additions/vices i.e. gambling, drugs/alcohol or lead a life of crime but still be looked favorably upon by society

They're not looked upon "favourably" in my experience. They are variously ignored, divorced, imprisoned, become down and outs or seek help with their issues.


Because Society, as a whole, treats us like second class Lepers - actually
second class lepers are treated better


Not me - I'm more often than not treated with respect as a human being.

Sarah...

[Carin]

The history of social stigma with gender variance is well documented, propagated IMHO by fire-breathing sermons from the pulpit and puritanical fear.

Yet I have to disagree with the OP tenant. Times have changed. The stigma perpetuates itself as long as we feed it. When I came out of the closet, my premise was that I am an upstanding person of character. Hiding myself implied that I had something to hide, something to be ashamed of, something that was wrong. It felt wrong to hide.

The puritanical view will not go away overnight, but in my humble opinion and experience is is not nearly as pervasive as it used to be. It has been decriminalized.

[Melanie R]

Some people have all their values wrong. I remember my ex-father-in-law in 1979 say to me I would rather have you be a drunk, run around on my daughter and beat her than your evil crossdressing lifestyle. He said that in front of my ex-wife. My response was I am out of this marriage. He was one who beat his wife, drank too much and had affairs but was in church every Sunday.

[Hope]

That is because, as you well know, sex is disgusting and dirty, and wrong, just wrong! It is something that you should tolerate only for as long as you have to in order to receive gods gift of children! Just lay back and think of England.

Violence on the other hand, is completely normal and understandable. Regrettable perhaps in some situations, (but by all means not in all situations) but normal and acceptable.

Because crossdressing is assumed to be about sex (and clearly it is for some of us - though hardly not all of us) crossdressing is then understood to be one of those activities that is a part of the sexual realm, and is therefore, disgusting and dirty, and wrong, just wrong! The fact that you can't make a precious, innocent, sexless, little baby (at least not a normal one) from crossdressing removes any redeeming quality that sex might otherwise have.

[gennee]

Some people have all their values wrong. I remember my ex-father-in-law in 1979 say to me I would rather have you be a drunk, run around on my daughter and beat her than your evil crossdressing lifestyle. He said that in front of my ex-wife. My response was I am out of this marriage. He was one who beat his wife, drank too much and had affairs but was in church every Sunday.



Go figure.

Gennee

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

Why is it that someone can bankrupt their family with their additions/vices i.e. gambling, drugs/alcohol or lead a life of crime but still be looked favorably upon by society than someone who is an upstanding citizen without even a parking ticket to their name but is a CD or TS?
To be honest, I'm not convinced that this is as true today as it was 10 years ago. Over time, I'm seeing acceptance improving more and more. While I'm seeing that particularly in younger generations, there are also a lot of older people such as volunteers in op shops who seem to be completely fine with it.


The more people there are who will cross dress the less evil it will become.
It's called normalising or normalisation. It's the process of making society so accustomed to us that they cease to consider us strange. I'm doing my bit, are you? (That's a rehetorical question aimed at every reader here, not just the person I replied to.)


It's one of the oddities of American society.
Actually, it's not just American society. It's prevalent all around the world to varying extents.


Crime: We are not braking any important laws, just a few occasionally when we need to pee or do something else minor like that. In the end, we are constantly breaking laws, but it's nothing big like a murder.
Not quite sure what laws you think that we're breaking occasionally. As a transgender person in Australia, I am legally allowed to use the amenities appropriate for my gender presentation. I'm not aware of having broken any laws except the speed limit in many years of crossdressing. :happy:


The history of social stigma with gender variance is well documented, propagated IMHO by fire-breathing sermons from the pulpit and puritanical fear.

Yet I have to disagree with the OP tenant. Times have changed. The stigma perpetuates itself as long as we feed it. When I came out of the closet, my premise was that I am an upstanding person of character. Hiding myself implied that I had something to hide, something to be ashamed of, something that was wrong. It felt wrong to hide.

The puritanical view will not go away overnight, but in my humble opinion and experience is is not nearly as pervasive as it used to be. It has been decriminalized.
Absolutely. I'm in the process of gradually outing myself to more and more people who know me, as you can read in my blog. I don't believe that there is any benefit in hiding. I don't want myself outed in an uncontrolled way, but if it happens it happens.

A post-op TS friend of mine has a brother who is a puritanical preacher who preaches hate on a regular basis. Hopefully, over time he and his ilk will come to be viewed as the social pariahs that they really are.


He was one who beat his wife, drank too much and had affairs but was in church every Sunday.
For a couple of months now, that same TS friend of mine has been inviting me to go to church at a local Cathederal with her. The invitation applies only to me en femme of course, and I've gone from "there's no way I'll go there" to "maybe one of these days." Over time, I'm getting more and more inclined to go with her on principle, even though church doesn't interest me in the slightest... We've even begun discussing what attire would be suitable, and I've pretty much decided on an outfit (http://www.flickr.com/photos/lindakaren/3325711940/) I wore out for dinner a few weeks ago. :happy:

[Shikyo]

It's called normalising or normalisation. It's the process of making society so accustomed to us that they cease to consider us strange. I'm doing my bit, are you? (That's a rehetorical question aimed at every reader here, not just the person I replied to.)

I'm walking outside in girly clothes, going into job interview's and to my current job in a feminine looks, so I'd say I'm doing my part as well.


Not quite sure what laws you think that we're breaking occasionally. As a transgender person in Australia, I am legally allowed to use the amenities appropriate for my gender presentation. I'm not aware of having broken any laws except the speed limit in many years of crossdressing. :happy

In some countries it it forbidden to use the toilet of the opposite sex, no matter how you are dressed. In North Korea(even though I doubt anyone's from there) it's forbidden for men to have long hair. There should be more of them, we are just not aware of them. So the probability of a cross dresser breaking a law is rather high at some point in their lives, if they actually live in a country with a law like that they might end up breaking it up every single time when they go to the toilet.
We do not think that we are doing anything bad, but the other people might not think that friendly about it. Lot's of trouble can come out of us going into ladies toilet when we are dressed, with or without the law.

In the end, even though I have not specifically looked out for these kinds of laws, there are so many stupid laws in the through out the world that sooner or later some of the will be on the path of a cross dresser's life. As if you think about it we are walking around "disguised as the opposite sex" which might bring us into trouble. Of course, we do not think like that ourselves, but that is not the point as the other people might think about us like that no matter what we say and that would cause trouble, depending who "caught" us.

[Mrs. X (gg)]

Hypocrisy thats why.

People in our society are so judgmental and disapproving...but I bet they get all kinky at closed doors. :raisedeyebrow:

[sometimes_miss]

Because for a whole lot of the population, crossdressing equals homosexuality. Homosexuality historically has been frowned upon (yeah I know, duh). Crossdressers, emulating women, may also be interpreted by those same folks as denying our male responsibilities to society, by embracing female ones.