Confronted by the boss

[jordyn.wayne]

this evening as i was comming into the office, my supervisor asked me point blank if i was a crossdresser, then proceeded to say that it was none of the navy's business, he just needed to know for his own mental well being. he said that he has known there was something different about me since he reported to the command about 6 months ago, but couldnt place it untill today when he picked up my laundry from the laundry service along with everybody elses, and there was some lace sticking out of the top of my bag. just happened to be a pair of my panties. he said that he was the only one to see and that he stuffed it back into the bag and retied it, he claims to respect my privacy and choice of lifestyle, jsut not to let it interfeere with my job. talk about making your heart pound with fear of being outed.
Jordyn
XOXO

[Megan_Okana]

I grew up in a military town, Thats gotta suck. What did you say?

[jordyn.wayne]

I said yes, it's not like i could have said they were someone elses, everything else in the bag was mine, and if i said that i had a girl in my room that would have been grounds for big trouble. my wife is in the states, so it couldn't have been her, and co habition out of wedlock over here is ilieagal, punnishable hardcore. so i simply responded yes, and he said ok, we finished our turnover, and he left to go to bed. i think everything is gonna be ok, I hope.

[JillHill]

During an inspection while stationed in the PI, they found the panties and nylons I had. But the rest of my quarters had that downtown Angeles City bar look and they figured I had just taken them off a bar girl and was notching them like you would a six shooter. If they only know.

I did shave my legs once and went to a company picnic, but nobody seemed to notice. I almost wished they had. That was in 1971. I could have found out there and spend the rest of these years not worring about it.

[Cassiecd]

I hope you can take him at his word (as a military man) and that will be the end of it! Good luck!

[PanteeQueen]

Ahhh, the memories of PI:daydreaming:. Anyways, I would have said that they were my wife's and that she stuck them in my bag as a joke and they must have gotten mixed up with the dirty laundry:doh:. Sounds like he is cool with everything, but be on your guard as he may blurt something out after a couple stiff drinks while on shore leave or something like that. Hope all goes well . . .

[StaceyJane]

This is the honest truth. When I packed my duffle bag for Iraq a pair of my wife's white cotton panties got mixed up with my white briefs in the wash. I found the panties on day in Iraq. I kept them in their and nobody noticed I had panties in my duffle bag. I sure didn't wear them in Iraq. If any one had found them I would have said my wife snuck them in for luck.

[TxKimberly]

Now THAT'S a heart stopper. Can't imagine how that must have felt. Of course I have to ask you - are you freaking crazy sending your girl stuff through the Laundry Service? I think I'd have spent a little time washing that stuff by hand! lol

[Noxvictum]

Holy crap... I know the feeling... My LPO confronted me about it. But him being one of the people that gave me the most greif, I was not very kind about it. My roomate in our BEQ went snooping through my stuff... Ugh, he found everything, and showed several of my friends, and told everyone else... Ugh... Thankfully, no legal recourse. My friends were understanding, and kept the rumour mill under control.

[jordyn.wayne]

our laundry service is run by civilians, turkish, and philipino i think, they don't know any better as long as abag doesn't have mixed garments (male &)female) in it.

[Teri Jean]

There is the written policy of don't ask don't tell and he may have crossed the line by asking. He will probably honor that policy by not telling but depending on his personallity he may make your life more difficult with more duty than others. I hope it goes well for you and your decission to come clean shows more moxi than most. Being a sailor of a time long ago, thank you for your service and hang tough. Keli ADJ-3

[linnea]

This would shake me up, that's for sure.

[kellycan27]

What happened to the don't ask part of the don't ask ..don't tell?

[Noxvictum]

Dont ask, dont tell is for homosexuallity. Crossdressing doesn't have anything to do with that.

[Karen564]

I dont know your CO, but I'm willing to bet he will keep his word based on what you said, and not say anything, he just sounds like a man of honor, as long as you give him the respect he deserves, I think your safe for now.

[jennifer easton]

sound to me like he was snooping, if as you say he just tucked them back in!! and retied!!your bag!!,as he said he thought there was something about you, so what better time to have a peek.

[Beth Wilde]

That is a scary moment! Our laundry service in Iraq was run by locals and I wouldn't have dared put my panties in, they boil washed pretty much everything and soo much stuff went missing. Plus I had helpful friends and it was traditional for the guy off duty to pick up everyones laundry and drop it by their bed, but one of them used to fold it all neatly on the bed for everyone. I used to get up first in the morning and hand wash them when I needed to, hung them to dry under my bed which worked due to the tent being 45 degrees most days!!

But enough raving, respect for your bravery in admitting it and if you boss has any common sense he will not mention it, most people just tend to want a quiet life out there!

[Vicky_Scot]

You could have said that they are the wifes. When you are away from home and her you always bring a pair of her panties with you to wear just to keep her close.

But well done for being honest and I just hope he is trustworthy with your disclosure.

Maybe is a cd as well....:heehee:

Xx Vicky xX

[Chrissy be good]

I was thinking the same thing...he's probably a CDer too. Who knows, you might have found a new gurlfriend.

[Shelly67]

For his own mental health . OMG - is he fearful of meeting a crossdresser or his sanity hangs by a thread ?? What a crock .
Navys buisiness ?? And he reported you ?? Then looked in youre laundry .
Golly what a power mad individual . Has he never heard of privacey???
I,d watch my back if it were me ...... sounds very suspicious. Even if like the others have hinted , he too were a crossdresser theres better ways to question and discover anothers lifestyle. I find it all a little creepy.
:Angry3:

[robyn1114]

The Don't Ask Don't tell policy doesn't really cover transgendered issues but do to their closed minded way of thinking they often group us all together. The military considers all forms of transgenderism to be of a deviant sexual nature and are grounds for separation.
here is a link I found on the study of gender identity in the military.

http://www.palmcenter.org/press/dadt/releases/palm_center_releases_study_on_gender_identity_in_u _s_military

[carolinoakland]

I pretty much agreee with the others in thinking that he must be another CD. carol

[Ralph]

here is a link I found on the study of gender identity in the military.
http://www.palmcenter.org/press/dadt/releases/palm_center_releases_study_on_gender_identity_in_u _s_military

Moderators, that link needs to be a sticky. Section 2.4 goes into great detail about how the military views crossdressing, which regulations deal with it, and cites a specific case ("United States vs. Guerrero") - notable especially because the defendant was prosecuted for dressing he did off-base.

Nice sleuthing, Robyn, and thanks for sharing that article with us!

ralph

[Sam-antha]

..... and what was your boss doing picking up other folks laundry .........?

[JoAnne Wheeler]

That was and is a truly tough situation - I admire your courage

JoAnne Wheeler

[jordyn.wayne]

this evening, when i came to work, Mike (the boss) had more questions about CD, and TG/TS than even my wife did. i didn't have all the answeres, so i gave him some webpages, including this one to look into. he seemed really interested, me being the system admin on our network provides me with some additional benifits, such as being able to browse through his recent documents, check up on him, make sure there aren't going to be any surprises frome in the near future. i know it is an abuse of my powers, but a girl has to look out for herself.
Jordyn

[Rachel B]

And when your boss comes on here and reads your post he'll know he is being checked up on...:doh:....

Hmmnnn, I'd edit out that bit, just in case :heehee:

[jordyn.wayne]

he knows i'm watching its part of my job, security and space management.

[TxKimberly]

this evening, when i came to work, Mike (the boss) had more questions about CD, and TG/TS than even my wife did. . . .

You know, I'm thinking you might want to edit that post. Seems like a statement that could get you in a world of shit. Add to that the fact that you just told your boss how to get here and see it and I think you have a potential disaster in the making

[Noxvictum]

The Don't Ask Don't tell policy doesn't really cover transgendered issues but do to their closed minded way of thinking they often group us all together. The military considers all forms of transgenderism to be of a deviant sexual nature and are grounds for separation.
here is a link I found on the study of gender identity in the military.

http://www.palmcenter.org/press/dadt/releases/palm_center_releases_study_on_gender_identity_in_u _s_military

Oh man, dodged that bullet...

[JulieC]

I think I would have said "What is in my laundry bag is my business. Thanks for picking it up."

I've seen guys in the military get panties from their wives. What goes in your laundry bag is your business and yours alone. He doesn't have a right to ask, and you have a right not to answer.

[Ronni Seymour]

Has he never heard of privacey???
Dear, the military environment is quite different than the good old civilian life. Once you sign the line and quote the oath, you pretty much belong to Uncle Sam lock, stock and barrel until your discharge. That's why we were called GI's (Government Issue)
:sad:

[Noxvictum]

I'm happy your superviser was curious rather than concerned. I'd always get snide remarks by the guys that new... However, being in the military does have it's advantages. This forum is maybe the only place I've had an easier time making friends. Military friends will always have your back. It was a good feeling, even though the job was terrible.

[Nicki B]

I,d watch my back if it were me ...... sounds very suspicious.

I think the first post indicates there were other things that made him suspect in the first place? It's a team leader's job to know what makes his people tick..


But would it be so rare to find a naval officer who was quite simply... broadminded?

:yt:

If you're good at your job, there shouldn't be a problem.

[Kittykitty]

Honestly sounds like he's questioning his own fem side!
Perhaps you should follow up? Asking him if he has any further questions may put out his flame before it gets too hot.
I know when I first met other trans-cd's, I was uber curious, but didn't know a proper way to ask questions non-offensively. Better he ask to your face than behind your back... just a thought.
Good luck!!! (former military brat, I feel your pain!)

[Angie G]

Cool Supervisor Jordyn and close call hun.:hugs:
Angie

[VtVicky]

I hate to be the one, but sombody needs to throw some cold water on this love fest.

Two points have already been made that I would like to reinforce.

1, What in Hell were you thinking! Putting your femme underwear in a communal laundry system. If that isn't asking to be outed than I don't know what is. You really need to think about your motivation to do that.

2, Respect for your comrades and superiors. By leaving evidence lying around, and, according to him, behavior that was suspicious, you are forcing people who otherwise would like to trust and support you, to look at stuff that they may not be prepared to deal with. Anyone with any supervisory experience in the military knows that, sometimes, something comes up with your subordinates that you would just as soon not know about. And certainly don't want to move up the chain of command. Let's just hope that he is confident enough about his own career, that he doesn't feel required to bring this up to his own superiors.

All this speculation about, "don't ask...", and his own CD potential, is just that; speculation. It may all be true and relevant. But, You need to decide which is more important to you right now. CDing or career. If Cding is the more important, than go ahead and continue your risky behavior. If you would like to finish out your commitment with the least hassel, than clean up your act. Find out what your behavor was that made him suspicious in the first place and fix it. And, lose those panties.

We all need to realize that all the love, acceptance, and support we get on this forum is not the norm out there. I have never seen any scientificaly reliable statistics about what percentage of the population shares our feelings about CDing. But, I guarantee there are more out there who don't have a clue what we are about. And only make bad guesses about us. Don't gamble that he is on our side. But, even if he is, don't make him choose between his career and supporting you. The odds are very much against you.

If I were to counsel him on whether to risk his career protecting you, or cover his own butt by going to his superiors, I would remind him of two things. 1, Putting your panties in the laundry suggests that you want to be outed. And, 2, If you can't keep something as simple as this secret, how can you be trusted to maintain a security clearance?

Straighten up and fly right, or you will be able to dress any way you want in the unemployment line.

[robyn1114]

I'd be very careful Jordyn, if he is genuinely curious that's great point him in the right direction where he can learn more, but I would not share the more intimate forums like this one with him.
I would definitely not be visiting these kind of sites on a military network, just as you're watching him someone else is watching you.

[robyn1114]

As blunt as Vicky's post was I would have to agree, after 16yrs of service the one thing I have learned is you have to cover your own butt. Nobody is going to jeopardize their own careers to cover for you.