Are you comfortable, in the presence of men?

[DaphneGrey]

I know we all love the company of GGs but I am curious, do you find being in the presence of men a comfortable experience.

Admittedly I once felt uneasy being Daphne around men, The more confident I became, the less I cared.

I was doing some window shopping in New Hope a couple of weeks ago. Stopped into a bar and had a couple of drinks. A fellow started talking to me and to make a long story short we had a nice chat. We had a great time and wound up closing the place. When we were leaving he helped me off my bar stool and gave me a friendship peck on the cheek. I consider myself a straight man/lesbian woman. In any case I am married and one hundred percent faithful. He knew this by the way I wasn't leading him on in any way.

I was practically drunk of the attention. And although I am not sure I would actively seek it, I certainly wouldn't push it away.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I haven't ventured out in public en femme yet, but to be honest, the thought of being around men is rather scary for me. I'm pretty sure I'd try not to interact with any when I finally do venture out for the main reason I can't talk in a feminine voice yet.

My main concern is that it's not very cd-friendly where I live. To be read by a man could potentially be dangerous.

As of right now, I am not comfortable around men (en femme) at all, but I have yet to experience what that's like.

Sounds like you've recently enjoyed a positive experience, Daphne. Did the man you had a nice chat with know you're a cd? Was that part of the conversation? Would you say you live in a generally more open-minded area?

[DaphneGrey]

I haven't ventured out in public en femme yet, but to be honest, the thought of being around men is rather scary for me. I'm pretty sure I'd try not to interact with any when I finally do venture out for the main reason I can't talk in a feminine voice yet.

My main concern is that it's not very cd-friendly where I live. To be read by a man could potentially be dangerous.

As of right now, I am not comfortable around men (en femme) at all, but I have yet to experience what that's like.

Sounds like you've recently enjoyed a positive experience, Daphne. Did the man you had a nice chat with know you're a cd? Was that part of the conversation? Would you say you live in a generally more open-minded area?

Yes I believe the gentleman knew I was a CD as a matter of fact I am sure of it. I am not quite sure what his attraction was. I pass on energy and attitude when presenting as Daphne. Not as much on looks.

I do live in a liberal part of the country, NJ and New Hope PA is a quite friendly place.

Just my advice on passing, Try not to hide within Gabrielle Just be Her!

[Karren H]

I'm comphy around anyone..

And hopefully you walked home or called a cab to take you!! Drunk driving isn't to smart, no mater how your dressed!!

[Vicky_Scot]

I have never been comfortable around men. And that includes in male mode as well.

I have always been more comfortable in the presence of woman and have always related to woman.

This has been the case since I reached puberty.

Xx Vicky xX

[sometimes_miss]

I have never been comfortable around men. And that includes in male mode as well.

I have always been more comfortable in the presence of woman and have always related to woman.

This has been the case since I reached puberty.

Xx Vicky xX

+1. Although, for me the constant feeling of 'paranoia' about being around predatory males started way before puberty, probably when I was around 7.

[María José]

I feel very comfontable with men around. I like men looking at me!

[Annie D]

Although I have not had any problems/comments from men, I too feel most uncomfortable around them when dressed as Annie. I am sure that my feelings are brought on by my own self perception and I am working on being as confident around men as I am around women. It is a never-ending struggle.

[MsJanessa]

I feel very comfontable with men around. I like men looking at me!

ditto---and when they do, I like to make them My pets.

[carolinebrookes]

Generally, I'm comfortable enough around men who happen to know that I'm no lady! As long as that's out on the table and interaction is comfortable within the group I'm in, then I feel safe enough.

The problem's could sometimes come when the fellas are not aware that I'm no lady. There is always the possibilty that things could go wrong although thankfully I've yet to encounter such a situation. I do know of friends who have had some nasty run in's with this.

[Angie G]

I'm not out to anyone but my wife So I'm not sure how I would feel being dressed around man I would hope I could handle it. Well I dought it's ever going to happen.:hugs:
Angie

[Desiree2bababe]

Yes, especially if they are "interested"

[Kate Simmons]

Sure, why not?:)

[JoAnne Wheeler]

NO - I do not like or care to be around MEN

JoAnne Wheeler

[Jan W]

Very much so.

Guys are cool.

[NatashaCD]

No when im dressed I try to stay out of the way of men they make me feel very uneasy

[Lisa Golightly]

Oh yes... I'm very comfortable. :)

[Lorileah]

Sort of the whole idea of dressing sexy is to be noticed. Male or female (I really like it when females give that disdainful look as they walk around in their sweats). OK so I am a tease. What can I say?

In reality I like being around men in a club setting MORE than being around CD's in a club setting. I get cold shoulders and snide remarks around here form "girls" who think that a pink skirt, baby blue nylons, and a chartreuse top is a fashion statement. But that is another thread. At least the men try to be sociable, even if they alternative plans ;)

[tamarav]

Men are just like any other animal, if they smell fear and you act like a victim they will advance. If they perceive that you are in control and are capable of confronting them, they will stay at arm's length.

I interact with men on a daily basis, some are more predatory in nature than others, just like everything else in life. I don't give the predatory ones the time or opportunity to act, I simply use the same attitude women have used for centuries.

It seems that a large percentage of our members have some sort of difficulty dealing with men, mostly I think, from a fear factor. Men can be very intimidating if you allow them, the key is to maintain your own control. If you start to feel weak, men sense this and tend to advance. Same as predatory women for that matter.

What makes so many of us uncomfortable around men? Could it be that they tend to remember how they were toward women? I don't know the answer. I just hope each of you stay safe and aware of your surroundings.

[Sarasometimes]

I am not comfortable around men when dressed out of concern that should they mistaken me for a GG (admittedly tough to do) and then find out otherwise, they may react inappropriately. I dress nicely for the same reason most women do and that is to look good in the eyes of other women. One reason i frequent salons so much is that there are raely many males around. As another post said i am a CD lesbian, no interest in men.
On the flip side, many people have told me how confident and secure I am when enmale. Once again an example of the inconguence within one mind.

[boardpuppy]

I'm uncomforable around men. When in drab mode, I naturally insert myself into a GG gathering, whether i'm in the dissusion or not. It could be the safety in numbers thing. The few times I have been enfem, I stay away from men all together, to date this has only been during shopping/browing/letting Alice get some sun. I was just thinking, that doesn't make logical sense. I will have to look at this again, later.

Hugs,
Alice

[TxKimberly]

No, honestly I'm not. It's not so bad that I would let it influence wether I went some place or not, but being around men makes me nervous. There's always the thought in the back of my head that someday I might run across some guy that just can't stand the thought of us and he might feel obligated to make a fuss. It's never happened, but still it concerns me

[Kelli Michelle]

I would be comfortable, and have been, around any man that is polite, respectful, and has an interesting personality. All too often, I meet someone who is either drunk, an/or just plain horny. I am not shy about telling them to back off, or that they are being rude, etc. I actually have learned some things too. Like how guys will try everything in the book to get you to leave with them. They can be very persuasive. But since I am married, and since I know all about that, it doesn't work on me. Still, it's amazing to what lengths they will go to, like:

--my friend left me here, can you give me a ride home?
--I had a little too much to drink, would you mind running me home?
--how about a nightcap, I have a place just around the corner
--you are the sexiest woman alive ( I am not)...
--I feel really close to you, etc
--you have beautiful eyes
etc,etc,etc.


It doesn't matter as I will not cheat on my wife, but I do find it pleasant to have a discourse, with a witty, charming man who is just interested in passing the time of day with a like person, that appears female. Especially when they treat me like a woman. Most men would know that I am a cder btw.

In guy mode, I would be uncomfortable passing the time of day the same way, but would have no problem if it was strictly guy stuff.

[ArleneRaquel]

I feel very comfontable with men around. I like men looking at me!

I do also, that's one of the reasons that I dress enfemme.:) :hugs: :love::battingeyelashes:

[DaphneGrey]

I'm comphy around anyone..

And hopefully you walked home or called a cab to take you!! Drunk driving isn't to smart, no mater how your dressed!!

I probbably should have, I really was high on life there for a while.

[Sarah...]

Oooooohhh, yes! They're either rather easy to manage or dead gorgeous and I don't need to manage them :)

Sarah...

[Ronni Seymour]

No, honestly I'm not. It's not so bad that I would let it influence wether I went some place or not, but being around men makes me nervous. There's always the thought in the back of my head that someday I might run across some guy that just can't stand the thought of us and he might feel obligated to make a fuss. It's never happened, but still it concerns me

:yt:

[AmandaM]

NO - I do not like or care to be around MEN
JoAnne Wheeler

I agree!

[kellycan27]

More so than with females.
I don't get this id' be afraid to hang out with men because I f they find out I am a CD they might hurt me. Where are guys hanging out? dark alleys, dive bars. pool halls? The waterfront?
There are plenty of nice places that one can go. where there are men, that won't hurt you just because you dress. They might not embrace you, but they certianly won't harm you.

[Tracii G]

I love it when I catch a guy's eyes tracking me.In a public place mind you with lots of people around but I keep a sharp eye out for obvious trolls.

[Jacquilynne]

No, honestly I'm not. It's not so bad that I would let it influence wether I went some place or not, but being around men makes me nervous. There's always the thought in the back of my head that someday I might run across some guy that just can't stand the thought of us and he might feel obligated to make a fuss. It's never happened, but still it concerns me

:iagree:

I'm more so nervous of being outed in a bad way . . .its the same kind of nervous that I get about being seen by someone who knows drab ol' me. . .

[Barbara Dugan]

yes I feel comfortable around them and men don't intimidate me because at the end I am still one

[ArleneRaquel]

Men in bed ! :D:battingeyelashes: :hugs: :love:

[Annette_boy]

Annet is very comfortable around them I am streight forward and myself and my voice is deep for a woman (I sing Barratone) and being Bi I have no probs in that respect i am wary of running into the Trolls and homophobes but attitude goes a long way "Yea tho I walk through the Valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for I am the meanest B***h in the valley" learned from 23 years as a Boatswains Mate in Navy yep was a lifer Deackape
but I digress the Ladies are fun too and I have gotten more female attention as Annette than he ever did
Hugs and Kisses
Annette

[goofus]

I sometimes feel uncomfortable around straight men when dressed. Thoughts of "uh oh, are they gonna beat me up?" enter my mind. I never was much of a fighter so the thought of someone being violent toward me is a bit frightening, especially if they are bigger and/or I'm outnumbered...

[CDerBrandi]

I am more on the quiet side regardless so I am not very comfortable around men. I just find the company of women so much less ... well threatening then men.

I grew up in a somewhat hostile home in the middle of nowhere and went to a school where all the boys would pass time by ridiculing whoever seemed the most gay, feminine, weak, etc.

[linnea]

I have little experience with this, but I am more comfortable now than ever before.

[Nicole Erin]

It depends on the guy really but as a general rule I am kind of uneasy.

I think if the guy found me attractive in my femme mode then it would be really nice, OK I would melt... :heehee:

I just cannot relate to men well.

[Joni Beauman]

I'd far rather be with the ladies. Though in a restaurant situation, I'm not sure I can decide which I would least want to stare at me, trying to decide "if its a he or a she"...alas, both can be awkward for the sensitive. Joni

[Sweet Jane]

i haveno interest in men at all...i don't wish to be 'comfortable' around them

[Persephone]

Men have always been a bit scary to me. I suspect that's true of most women, at least when they were young girls, only to change as they got more experience with men.

I've had very little interaction with men, but feel that they are a natural part of a woman's life and should be a natural part of mine. I fear that I lack the feminine behavior patterns (feminine wiles) that would allow me to deal appropriately with them.

[Amanda Shaft]

A couple of years ago on one of my first outings to a club a guy came up to me and whispered in my ear ‘you look sensational!’ I said ‘thanks’. It freaked me out a little but got me thinking and the conclusion I reached was that if I was going to go out dressed, trying to look as good as possible so I might pass, then I was going to have to learn to deal with blokes in the way that women have dealt with them for millennia. So I made a conscious effort to improve my interactions.
These days I show no fear, will engage them in conversation and will brush them off with a smile.
Amanda x

[Emily01]

as the years pass and i'm more accepting of me, i find the ideas of the courteous and polite attention of men stimulating. i suppose i should have seen that coming some years ago what with all the effort i have made to learn to look attractive.

[donnadawn]

I never feel comfortable around men. I never dress to pass but dress femme enough that anyone could tell if they looked closely. I always fear tht some clod will call me out for what he sees or maybe even get violent. I seek refuge amoung the GGs. They seem to be much more tolerant. I atleast get smiles from them while the men just give frowns. I even avoid going through check out lines if their is a guy working it.

[DaphneGrey]

I suppose that is legitamit fear, thankfully this has never happened to me.

[Leslie Langford]

I try to avoid men while en femme for many of the reasons already brought forth by the other gurls responding to this thread.

On the other hand, when I am put in a situation where I have no choice but to interact with a male - say, when they are a cashier in a department store or a server in a restaurant, I don't freak out either. I just act my normal feminine self and complete whatever transaction I am engaged in with them as unobtrusively as possible.

Most of them are clueless anyway as to what I really am compared to GG's who pick up on subtle signals, and since I don't dress like a "hootchie mama" when I am out en femme, I'm off the rdar screen of most men anyways:tongueout.

[charlie]

When dressed, Charlie is an attention ***** to the max! I love it when men give me attention, want to dance or buy me drinks. I too am married and faithful, but love the attention from men, women and other CD's.

[ArleneRaquel]

Male teenagers can be a very worrisome bunch. When I see more than one walking toward me I still tighten up, they can be vicious. I really shouldnt tighten up any longer, as I feel that I am much more passable, and I havent had teenage problems in over a year:) :hugs: :love:

[MJ]

no i feel uncomfortable around men and I'm full time

[MissConstrued]

I'm a guy who's just one of the guys. I work with guys, hunt with guys, etc.

Out and about dressed up? No worries. I'm still just one of the guys who's now dressed a little different. Once I get that across, I have no need for my hammer arm -- which works the same either way....

[Kathleen Grace]

I wouldn't mind men looking, but my counter-part, what's his name might.

It's been about 20 years since I've been out socially in fem. :sad: So I really can't say how I'd really react to male attention. I think I'd be more comfortable wearing a wedding ring to discourage the more serious guys

[Cathey]

No! I am much more comfortable and blend in better with Girls. we can carry on intelegent conversations and that is true when in guy mode. My experience with men they are pigs.

[JesseSaro]

imo if you're afraid to be around men while dressed in public, you have a fear of being exposed for your true identity and judged. After all a man knows what kind of features men have so you may feel as if he would somehow automatically know you are a guy, by just taking a glimpse at you.

or you could just not worry about what others think :devil:

[tricia_uktv]

I am much more uncomfortable with men, though do go out and talk to them. Women are much more liberal than men and more understanding. Having said that I'm learning!

[Leanne2]

When I'm in fem mode which is quite often, I try to avoid men. When I check out at the grocery store I pick the line that has an older female checker. I avoid situations where a man might start a conversation with me.
Yesterday I had to drive a friend to court in STL. I had forgotten that everyone entering a courthouse has to go through security. Now I was not trying to look fem but my hair was big and I carry a womans zip wallet. My friend went through first with no problem. But after I walked through the metal detector the security guy said to me," Ma'am, stand over there." then he passed the hand held wand over me. I was afraid that there might have been a scene if he figured out that I was a guy. I was releived when he waved me through and said," Thank you ma'am."

[Karen__Starr]

Although now on the West Coast I grow up in Bucks county just outside of Philly town and loved New Hope, was very easy to spend the day there as Karen.

In regards to comfort level around men, I am very at ease with being around the average male and not to those men that speel trouble, no different than any other woman might feel/react. I date a lot with men who know I am transgender so there are no issues as to them not knowing who I am. So going back to comfort level, there are times when I want to simply grab on to them with hugs and kisses and have no problem with this either but usually find if best to contain myself :)

[msginaadoll]

Well im comfortable around men. But you know who really makes me nervous? Teen girls, serial killers and Republicans. Not sure if thats the proper order.

[Byanca]

I feel fine around men. They are more open minded. And I dont feel competitive and jealous around them. I also notice that they feel I'm pleasant to hang around with, and they have a protective instinct that is good for me. But I cant get close to men, that's just happened a very few times-that there has been a mental connection with sharing of thoughts. That is a lot easier with woman, but their rejection is really off putting. And even make me look down on a large group of them, since it make no sense. Often it's just 1 of 20 that I can really talk to. So the effort is often to much. And they also tend to hit on me when we find that connection- and i'm not really sure what I feel about that. That tends to disrupt the relationship.Since they dont know what it is that makes that connection, so they handle it the wrong way...

[Michelia]

I used to avoid male SAs until I decided it was clearly discriminatory. How would you feel if you are an SA and a CD avoids you? I no longer do it.

As far as other places other that stores go, I am getting better. I still get very nervous when men are present. I also was struck the most by a few reactions I have had from men.

I will never forget the guy behind me in line at the coffee shop while I was with my girly ponytail and pink tight stretch pants and girly clogs, who must have been fixated on my bum, because when I turned around and he saw my guy face his facial expression was one of horror and disgust. Then there was this older guy at a Cato. I was looking at panties and when I looked up he had frozen in the middle of the aisle with his jaw completely dropped.

Sometimes I feel guilty of causing them such distress.

[linnea]

Yep.

[linnea]

Well im comfortable around men. But you know who really makes me nervous? Teen girls, serial killers and Republicans. Not sure if thats the proper order.

I think that teen girls are the worst, though serial killers are off the map in any circumstances.

[cdterri]

Just be carefull. I was in a nightclub one time, seated with several men. I thought they were aware I was a cd but several hrs later one of them cupped my chin in his hand.My beard was starting to grow and when he felt it he freaked. If it were not for a very large friend of mine being present I may not be here today

[DawnRodgers]

In male mode I feel much more comfortable around women. I enjoy their conversations and their company. Actually dislike being around men. Their always loud and so inro themselves and I am actually uncomfortable.
When in fem mode I love to be around men. Like their attention and their dlirtiness. If I am to be discovered I let them know in advance that I am a CD.

[Carly D.]

Very good question this one:: I was wearing just my heels on a heeling adventure (look for my crappy entry here elsewhere) and when I was in the different stores I would stop walking and look at whatever I was closest to when there was anyone close by.. at one department store there was a cement floor and I was making a hell of a racket (the clop clop heels make) and I was checking the isles and I walked by this one where a giant guy (way over six foot because with my heels on I'm six foot three) and I just looked sort of downish and kept going.. I think I'd rather be around women when I'm in my heels.. then men possibly.. and would rather never be around little kids.. the main reason is because I feel like I am doing something wrong and possibly perverted.. I can't get that out of my head..

[JOJO44]

I feel very comfontable with men around. I like men looking at me!

With your good looks, anyone would enjoy being looked at by men (especially the good looking ones :o). :daydreaming:

[Leslie Mary S]

When I am dressed out and out I feel as if everyone has outed me. I look like you matronly aunt. Therefor that is how I act. I am still learning how to carry myself and present a fem persona.
It's not easy being fem when you are not.
Some of us are a bit slower with the learning process and/or frequently slip back mentally into drab mode.

[Cait]

Whilst I haven't actually been out dressed I would love the opportunity to go out and meet some men and see what happens ;)

[babieboo502]

well im a server and work with all women, feel very good no problems at all .but when my guy friends wanna come over and play ball and whatever i feel outta place and like i have nothing in comman with any of them is that strange?

[DaphneGrey]

Well im comfortable around men. But you know who really makes me nervous? Teen girls, serial killers and Republicans. Not sure if thats the proper order.

This thread is about crossdressers and their level of comfort around men. I really don't care about your political views. What wonderful narrow minded arrogance! Equating half the voting population with serial killers. I wonder if you plan on showing up enfemm to your next democratic party meeting? Let me know how that goes.

[Angie G]

I'm not around men as Angie So yes being around men is a good thing. All my hunting and fishing buds are man.:hugs:
Angie

[SuzanneS]

I don't know if I'm comfortable around men as Suzanne, but I am going to find out someday I'm sure....I am kinda curious...:o

Suzanne

[TJ Tresa]

That is a great story, I'm sure it was fun. I don't know if I could be comfortable around a man or not. I guess it depends on who it was and if I trusted them to start with. So far I have come out to my wife and a lesbian couple that we know.

[Leslie Mary S]

Right now I am uncomfortable around men, but I am getting better with each trip out. Because of my age, body, and etc I am normally outed on sight. (grin)

[CherylAnne]

No, I am very uncomfotable around men no matter how I am presenting.
I have been "burned" several times by male friends that I thought I could trust, so no more trust. Also, my wife has always been very leery of the male gender. Guess I learned from her over the years.