A Forum Without GGs...............

[trisha59]

We recently drove another GG off of this section. Of all the people that belong to this forum you would think that the advice we, the cder, would want the most is from the GG's. We "envy" women so much that we dress like, them yet if one of them gives us an honest answer from a women's perspective we seem to take offense. This makes no sense to me. Can someone please explain it to me?

[Mirani]

The outside may present as feminine and as beautiful as is possible.

The inside is still driven by the male ego.

Sometimes we really are "a man in a dress".

[JoAnne Wheeler]

There is a forum here w/o GGs and there is a forum for GGs only - so there

are choices - like in another thread that was started today, do we want to

be praised and pumped up or do we want to hear the TRUTH - we need the

TRUTH and learn from the TRUTH - Truth is a whole lot better than FANTASY

JoAnne Wheeler

[Kelsy]

I really can't blame GG's for leaving this part of the site with some of the comments made here and overtly male reponses. It is sad:sad: The problem is that there are many of us here that value their imput, positive and negative.

I wish that there was a private GG section that would want some CD inclusion. Maybe by Invite Only! I for one Identify with the GG point of view and want to mingle with the genetic girls.

Kelsy

[MAJESTYK]

I agree with Mirani. We should value and respect a womans opinion most seeing as that's who we are tyring to emmulate. I dont understand the questions that seem to ask for an opinion and then ignore it or worse attack it. I have yet to see any of the Ladies who answer here on this forum who are sarcastic or nasty in their opinion unless someone is rude or childish to them first.
I treasure the advise of my Lady and any woman for that matter on questions about THEIR world! After all, shouldn't we ask an expert for an expert opinion?
Isn't the point of having such a place as this to be able to talk to everyone? If we drive all the real women away and if we dont want any opinions but our own, we could all sit in our "closets" and ask oursleves and then if we do go "out into the real world" we can all look foolish because "we know better".
Just my 2 cents, and I dont give change either.

[Mirani]

"Generic" Girls lol ... nice one! :) Actually it's a good word - very appropriate "applicable to an entire class or group ". But GG stands for "Genetic"

[loren]

Ive only been on this site a couple of months now,and its been invaluable to me,but what has happened lately, has put me off a bit too.Sheila is one of the main GG's who has gave me sound and honest advice ,and not just one sided either(sheila has looked at it from both sides)when i need it,and invaluable support with it.
And yes i can go into the GGsection and keep contact with the girls and theyre advice etc.But although my SO doesnt get a lot of time to be on here(speaking for him,as what he said to me)the GG.s input,thoughts on things and the advice given that he reads on the posts,he has taken onboard and has also found invaluable when in our relationship( first time for him being able to be open about it in a relationship,and first time for me being in a CD relationship).
And yes we all get frustrated,or depressed etc,both GG's and CD's,but for some on here to driving GG's away from this section,and even the site is very disappointing. Loren x:hugs:

[Michelia]

Sometimes we do not like what we hear. Sometimes the GG can be a little rough on the rest of the girls. But we should be able to take it. And be ladylike about the whole thing.

Let's try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I have always thought we need them more than they need us.

We very much need the reality check they can offer too.

I miss some of the GG's that used to contribute regularly.

[Kayla Shadows]

It is sad when they are driven off.They are here to help and understand as well.Their insight from their point of view should be taken into consideration as well as their feelings.When people talk about GG's,it may not be that particular person but, you are still talking about women and they are a woman.I dont think its fair in ways Ive seen SO's are talked about.Life is what it is and not everyone is going to be accepting,we know that.We cant force things upon people who are not comfortable with them.The people we chose to be with should have the same right to be who they are.If we are not honest from the start,it makes a difficult situation.If you have someone who is willing to talk,the last thing we should be talking about is how unaccepting women are.If the person we are with is not accepting,we still chose to be with that person and it is not their fault that they believe what they believe.We are different in a way or many ways from regular men.That has to be seen.When a GG gives their perspective,we have to look in from the other side.That person you are trying to emulate is more then just clothes,mannerisms or whatever else that isnt exactly the same as really thinking like that person.They are here for a reason and I dont think it is to see women picked apart.

[Nicole Erin]

This is a fourm.
People are going to bicker and act stupid, it is what people do on forums.
It does not even matter the nature of the forum, people are going to pick at each other.

[MissConstrued]

This is a fourm.
People are going to bicker and act stupid, it is what people do on forums.

Aye. It's the Internets. You want civility? :devil:

[Lisa Golightly]

Et tu, Brute?

A lot of good people leave... Not just GG's.

[charlie]

I'm really sad to hear that anyone has left because they felt insulted. This forum is for inclusion and knowledge. Not bashing.

[PanteeQueen]

The outside may present as feminine and as beautiful as is possible.

The inside is still driven by the male ego.

Sometimes we really are "a man in a dress".

Couldn't put it better myself . . .

[Jess_cd32]

I personally would like seeing more women and their thoughts in this section. I really just hate calling them "GG's" BTW as I've said before but just go with the flow mostly to avoid confusion here. Without them here it wouldn't be the same, we definatly need their perspectives whether some like it or not.

My SO was knocking the whole "GG" thing the other night saying "I'm a GG looking for a BB now"......:brolleyes:.....I asked jokingly what the hell is a BB:heehee:.......some kind of new boyfriend I think she meant:doh:

[Momarie]

There is a forum here w/o GGs and there is a forum for GGs only - so there

are choices - like in another thread that was started today, do we want to

be praised and pumped up or do we want to hear the TRUTH - we need the

TRUTH and learn from the TRUTH - Truth is a whole lot better than FANTASY

JoAnne Wheeler

Heres some truth....this is not the JoAnne Wheeler Show.

[Deborah Jane]

Personally i feel we need the GGs here, they bring a sense of reality to something that very easily become sugar sweet and sickly.

They give us advice, from another perspective other than our own.
The ones that come here are very supportive [despite how some may see it].

We can learn a lot from GGs being on this forum, not nessasarily things we want to hear, but it tends to be relevant anyway.

I could be prejudiced as i met my GG [Sheila] on here, but i always appreciated the advice given anyway, even if i didn't really like it!!

I say "good on them for supporting us" :hugs:

BTW.....Sheilas not gone, she's just resting :devil:

[Stargirl]

If threads are marked "MTF" replies only, I don't take offense. If we wish to know what people think, we have to ask. People are reluctant to ask sometimes, because they fear the answer. Some people are more sensitive than others, and I don't want to be the vector of bad news. If I had something "mean" to say, I would feel that meanness before the recipient. Negativity gets tiresome. I come here because I am entertained, and I have CD/TG/TS friends. It's fun to chime in with a bit of friendliness. :hugs:

[Lorileah]

To paraphrase: Thank heaven for GG's, without them what would 47.8% of CD's do? Even the 10% who hate, dislike, and despise their SO's, GF's and spouses.

Personally I would like to see a post from a spouse that said "My husband dressed today and he just doesn't understand why I feel the way I do." But they don't do that.

As mentioned here the females in this forum are trying to accept or have accepted the ape in a peignoir (I had to do that I get tired of bloke in a dress or man in a skirt) :). But I can see how they feel like ducks in a shooting gallery. I am not against blowing off steam or even posting when you feel you have been dissed but don't take it out on an innocent person (male or female) who says what you don't want to hear. (BTW does this dress make my butt look fat?). Many of us here have run message boards or forums before and we know how tedious things can get and we know when advice is offered there will be a certain section that will disagree. Personally I closed my message board because of the arguments. I hope we don't ever have that problem here

[suchacutie]

For the person we lost to return...a petition maybe? A group request? I'd add my name to the list. Besides the fact that we need all the help we can get, the real motivation is, and should be, that we have no reason to be unkind to anyone here, especially those we are working so very hard to emulate!!!

:2c:

tina

[Kelsy]

"Generic" Girls lol ... nice one! :) Actually it's a good word - very appropriate "applicable to an entire class or group ". But GG stands for "Genetic"

OOpsie!!!:o Genetic of course Hit the wrong key no disrespect intended OMG!:o

Kelsy

[Celeste]

I feel some members have sensitivity and civility toward others,some are learning,and some could care less.Its important not to beat everyone with the same stick here.

[Sarah...]

We recently drove another GG off of this section. Of all the people that belong to this forum you would think that the advice we, the cder, would want the most is from the GG's. We "envy" women so much that we dress like, them yet if one of them gives us an honest answer from a women's perspective we seem to take offense. This makes no sense to me. Can someone please explain it to me?

It's because there seem to be artificial "boundaries" on advice and discussions. We see "GG only" or "MtF only" or "FtM only" instructions on threads. We have the FAB section and the GM section. There are continuous debates as to which particular part of the human condition one occupies and why that is different to another part. There is an almost evangelical zeal for "GG" validation and response. Amongst MtFs for the most part. So that's interesting wouldn't you say?

Yet very rarely do we see a plea for an objective "human" response. What do you suppose might happen if we had no markers or avatars that show what "category" of human each of us is? What if we had to survive in here on words alone? Not knowing for sure whether we were discussing things with and XY or an XX or an XXY person?

Even better, what if that's happening now? What if not everyone is what they show themselves as? How does that make us feel?

How do we feel about truly objective opinion, advice, commentary and support?

Just my tuppence worth. Yes, I know! Loads more questions. But these are the things I think of when I read threads like this and threads in which different groups of people are basically intolerant of each other.

Sarah...

:(

[ReineD]

To paraphrase: Thank heaven for GG's,

Sorry, I couldn't resist! ;)

I couldn't find the Maurice Chevalier version though. :)

GBc8ZjrSPOI

[Sigrid Cutie]

I think if GG's come to this forum is to express theyr point of view and because they are interested or curious about us CD's, i think they opinion is valuable, they are the people we try to look alike or in must cases to be like, i just made good friendship with a GG through this forum and i think her opinion and advice are great.

[Kerrie Sifton]

I was surprised to hear that people were leaving this site for a variety of reasons. Some people were being treated in a disrespectful manner.
And others were tired of what appeared to be bickering.

I am just reminded that each of us comes to this with a lot of ideas, experiences, societal expectations and questions. No matter what gender we are. And we are also looking for some answers or help in the search to either improve ourselves or improve our lot with our families around us.

It does not hurt to be kind, or respectful. Some of the statements by others may offend us or make us become more introspective. Some we may have to just accept with a grain of salt if we dont like them. At other times we may have to refrain from replying as our response might be based on hurt feelings and would not help to resolve the issue.

Being in the transgendered realm creates issues and expectations.
It also appears to be a journey with no "right" path, but instead multiple paths with multiple destinations.

[linnea]

I guess I missed a lot. I didn't know that a GG left the forum. I would guess that people leave from time to time and for a lot of reasons, but apparently this departure occurred with some kind of -- what? A parting shot of contempt or anger? What? I would like to know. Can anyone tell me?

[kellycan27]

Sometimes the GG's are brutally honest . Sometime you ask and sometimes you don't like the answers... Well you did ask. And you have to admit... If we didn't have the GG's in here....Where would we find the answers to some of our most important and preplexing questions..... regarding wives and SO's and acceptance? Should we cut off our nose to spite our face?
Just my :2c:

[AllieSF]

As has been said above people of all persuasions join and leave this site all the time. Yes, it would be great if everyone came and stayed, and were nice, respectful and all those other good things. Even though the transgendered community is small compared to the whole of society, it still carries a similar makeup of that total society. We should expect to see here, bigots, rednecks, pro-and anti-gun, gay and straight people, women lovers and women haters, and all the rest.

It is a forum, no one is forced to join, and even if someone feels like they are being picked on, they can still choose to stay or to leave. In my opinion, if you do not like what someone posted you can ignore it and move on to something else that suits your taste. If you decide to comment, just be ready for all kinds of responses kind and unkind. That is the nature of a forum as long as all the rules are followed. That is what makes a forum interesting and alive. Different opinions, both good and bad, can help us all learn and grow. Bad posts when ignored become nothing. However, with replies and counter arguments they just stay alive.

[kellycan27]

I'll buy that!

[TxKimberly]

Sorry, I couldn't resist! ;)

I couldn't find the Maurice Chevalier version though. :)



I LOVE that song! You rock Reine. :-)

I consider the chance to hear the honest opinions, feelings, and fears of our GG's to be one of the major perks of hanging out here and I'm sorry to see any of them leave.
Having said that, I still don't recall seeing any posts or trends that would rate a GG running away angry, upset, or disgusted. I note the posts from those who are crying that they can not find anyone, or that their wives are not accepting, but I think these kinds of posts are to be expected. After all, a lot of the people that visit here do so because they are in pain, because they are hurt, because the are lonely. It seems to me that anyone visiting a forum along these lines should expect some of that?

[Kate Simmons]

What do you expect? When we show a lack of respect, we drive people away. Simple as that really and just as unfortunate.:straightface:

[Pink Person]

I enjoy GG input on the mixed forums. However, occasionally, one of them makes a grand announcement that she can't stand being in a mixed forum any longer because some bad male's bad behavior has forced her to leave. Boo hoo, really. It's an unfair criticism. No one is forcing anyone to do anything here. Stay or go, whatever you like. Don't blame someone else for what you decide to do. I think GGs should stay in the mixed forums, but I can't force them to do it. I wish it was as easy to force them to stay but I won't beg for their attention. I also won't blame other people for making them leave. No one deserves that false burden.

[StephanieT]

It is not only GGs that get tired of the MTF section. I for one spend very little time here. Sometimes I feel like it is a battle zone. Also in my opinion, many of the postings in this section would confirm many SOs wildest fears.

[emmicd]

I enjoyed the youtube post of Thank Heaven for Little Girls! Very cute! I believe we should try to respect each other's opinion and welcome the opinion of girls and women here as they are the one's we so much admire and respect and wish to emulate!

I for one value their opinions and respect them all very much!

emmi

[ReineD]

In every group of people, be it the work place, school, volunteer organizations, country clubs, sports teams, quilting bees, and yes, even on cd.com, the majority of people will get along just fine. And if on occasion someone has a bad day or is going through rough times, the community will understand and will offer sympathy. We all have issues and get discouraged sometimes.

Some folks stand out and are well liked by others. Their contribution to the community is positive, despite their own personal challenges, and they are respected.

Other folks will have difficulties fitting in, either because they cannot read social cues or perhaps because they are more self-centered, narrow-minded, or more argumentative than the average. If they cannot move beyond this, their impact on the community becomes negative. These people tend not to have as many friends and they eventually have less impact on the community. They are ignored because people don't wish to include them in their discussions or activities.

Such is life. Every behavior tends to have its own consequences quite naturally, without the need for excessive commentary. Unless, of course, the behaviors become a real danger to the community, in which case the people responsible are removed.

[cd_britney_426]

I can understand why there are not very many GGs on this forum. Just look at the threads here. I've been on this forum for nearly a year and frankly am quite sick of the unusually large volume of posts and threads bickering about their female SO GG not accepting of their CDing or having to hide their CDing from them. Now granted, I haven't complained before because just as others have the ability to post such comments, I also have the ability to skim past them and ignore them.

The funny thing is that although I haven't even been dressing for a full year, I have received far more compliments from GGs than criticisms or bad stares. In fact, I have ran into more negative attitudes towards my appearance by other TGs than I have by GGs. These GGs were not just found in bars but also in stores, restaurants, and other accomodations.

Back to the point, I believe you get what you ask for. If you have a positive attitude and look for the good in all people and all things, that is exactly what you will find. Maybe you won't find it 100% of the time but you will find enough of it to be happy with it. When you spend years writing hundreds and in some cases thousands of posts complaining about GGs not accepting you or giving you the cold shoulder regardless of whether they are a stranger on the other side of the street or your own wife, then you aren't going to get acceptance. Sorry but misery loves company. If you want acceptance, start by accepting others as well. Since such a huge volume of threads and posts on here are negative, the only type of GGs you are going to attract if any at all are also negative people. I honestly believe that if more people here started discussing good things, you would have more happier people around.

Last but not least, part of the problem I believe is that this forum category has turned into a marriage counseling board. Naturally, the GG is always on the other end of it. Since there are always two sides to every story but here we only hear the TG's side, who do you think feels put on the spot? You guessed it: the GG. While I don't know everyone's situations here, I am having trouble believing that every TG here is innocent when it comes to relationship problems. How much time is spent here whining about your SO not accepting you when such time could be spent actually getting your life together? That may include working with your SO on the issue or dumping your SO and getting a new SO who does accept you. Regardless, spending YEARS here arguing about the same problems tells me that the problem is with the person whining because if you truly want your life to change you are not going to be endlessly whining but are actually going to take action. Enough said. :thumbsdn: Britney

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

I know that I made a comment recently about splitting this section and a moderator (okay, I admit my memory for names is atrocious) said NO. This thread, and the underlying issue that it's about means that I'm going to make another suggestion in the same general direction. A separate forum within the mtf section called to either "whining" or "bitching and moaning". :lol:

The rest of the subjects within this forum are being swamped by the bitching and moaning. In all seriousness, I'd even go so far as to suggest that it not be visible to people who aren't signed in because of the potential that is has to drive away new members.

It would then be at the moderators' discretion as to which threads get moved there. :happy:

[rachel_rachel]

The outside may present as feminine and as beautiful as is possible.

The inside is still driven by the male ego.

Sometimes we really are "a man in a dress".

That was what i was thinking myself and i'd only read the title of the thread. And this reply was the first one.

Even some of the replies that come to some threads are definatly "male" replies...

[Satrana]

We are all adults here, we are all free to make our own decisions. Using this event to promulgate a them against us war is pointless. Give it a rest.

I am puzzled though by the explanation being presented. Was Sheila was driven away because others did not like her message, or did Sheila decide to leave because she did not like others' messages. It is a 2 way argument and it is entirely subjective who the innocent and guilty parties are, based upon your own point of view.

We are human, we have tiffs, life goes on. And something tells me Sheila will return with batteries recharged. We are too infuriating to resist.

[Rachaelb64]

The outside may present as feminine and as beautiful as is possible.

The inside is still driven by the male ego.

Sometimes we really are "a man in a dress".

:iagree: yep

[MissConstrued]

Sometimes we really are "a man in a dress".


News flash! That's the majority here. Men. In drag.

I'm a man, I'm happy that way, and I find it rather annoying to constantly hear it suggested that being a man is a bad thing. I get enough of that bullsh*t from the media every day... and long ago had my fill of it in college.

If you're a man, but don't like being one, then YOU are the one with the problem -- not me.

[Mirani]

Oh dear - I seem to have been misconstrued.

"News flash! That's the majority here. Men. In drag.

I'm a man, I'm happy that way, and I find it rather annoying to constantly hear it suggested that being a man is a bad thing. I get enough of that bullsh*t from the media every day... and long ago had my fill of it in college.

If you're a man, but don't like being one, then YOU are the one with the problem -- not me."

I wasn't intending to imply a negative conotation to being male. I didnt mean to provoke a vitriolic response. My apologies if you feel slighted in any way - it wasn't my intention.

However, I do admit to implying that there tends to be a difference in the male mindset and the female mindset (I know generalisations are dangerous at times - but they also true at times too). The following is quoted from DR Hugo Heyrman.

"What kind of brain do you have? There really are big differences between the male and female brain, says Simon Baron-Cohen, director of the Autism Research Centre, Cambridge University. In his new book, the Essential Difference: Men, Women and the Extreme Male Brain (published by Penguin) Baron-Cohen shows that, indisputably, on average male and female minds are of a slightly different character. Men tend to be better at analysing systems (better systemisers), while women tend to be better at reading the emotions of other people (better empathisers). Baron-Cohen shows that this distinction arises from biology, not culture.

Cell numbers: men have 4% more brain cells than women, and about 100 grams more of brain tissue. Many women have asked me why men need more brain tissue in order to get the same things done.

Cellular connections: even though a man seems to have more brain cells, it is reported that women have more dendritic connections between brain cells.

Corpus collosum size: it is reported that a woman's brain has a larger corpus collusum, which means women can transfer data between the right and left hemisphere faster than men. Men tend to be more left brained, while women have greater access to both sides.

Language: for men, language is most often just in the dominant hemisphere (usually the left side), but a larger number of women seem to be able to use both sides for language. This gives them a distinct advantage. If a woman has a stroke in the left front side of the brain, she may still retain some language from the right front side. Men who have the same left sided damage are less likely to recover as fully.

Limbic size: bonding/nesting instincts - current research has demonstrated that females, on average, have a larger deep limbic system than males. This gives females several advantages and disadvantages. Due to the larger deep limbic brain women are more in touch with their feelings, they are generally better able to express their feelings than men. They have an increased ability to bond and be connected to others (which is why women are the primary caretakers for children - there is no society on earth where men are primary caretakers for children). Females have a more acute sense of smell, which is likely to have developed from an evolutionary need for the mother to recognize her young. Having a larger deep limbic system leaves a female somewhat more susceptible to depression, especially at times of significant hormonal changes such as the onset of puberty, before menses, after the birth of a child and at menopause. Women attempt suicide three times more than men. Yet, men kill themselves three times more than women, in part, because they use more violent means of killing themselves (women tend to use overdoses with pills while men tend to either shoot or hang themselves) and men are generally less connected to others than are women. Disconnection from others increases the risk of completed suicides."

My point is, male responses and female responses ARE different. Sometimes we MAY delude ourselves that we are more femme that we are and our responses revert to "standard". That is not saying that male is inderior to female or vice versa.

Kind regards.

[Pink Person]

I would say that people who threaten to storm out of large forums or boycott them because they don’t like what a relatively small number of people say in them have demonstrated a significant lack of empathy for other people (the remaining majority) and not much interest in bonding with them. I’m no brain doctor though, and have no idea if I have the right kind of brain for making this observation.

[Rachel Morley]

I agree with some of the previous posts. Unfortunately sometimes it's the Venus and Mars thing :sad:

Guys have a tendency to be argumentative and competitive and so even when they ask for a female opinion on CDing, if the response is what what they were hoping for or not want they wanted to hear, then they tend get "all bent out of shape". :sad:

IMHO, being a crossdresser unfortunately doesn't necessarily make a person act like a woman or relate to GGs as if they were one themselves :sad: There are lots of "nice" CDers here, but of course it's an open forum and so you get all the Neanderthals "sticking their oar in" too!

[Nicki B]

Isn't the point of having such a place as this to be able to talk to everyone?

On a related point - have you noticed how few FTMs hang round the boards, these days? Ever wondered why?


Aye. It's the Internets. You want civility? :devil:

But should selfish, disrespectful behaviour be tolerated - by anybody? Regardless of Venus or Mars, we are, first and foremost, all people. :sad: If you want respect (or support, ever) - you have to be willing to offer it, too..

[Samantha B L]

It's just one opinion. Most of my best freinds have been women. I'm a card carrying cissy and I think CD's should take it real easy with the GG's and others who sometimes "post in the threads that they're not supposed to" and do our damndest not to drive anyone away! I always enjoy the GG's input and in the event they have something critical or harsh to say,they would have said it anyway,so there you go. And as far as posting where it isn't your particular group I think everybody in the forum is sensible enough not to overdo it on that account.

[Satrana]

News flash! That's the majority here. Men. In drag.

Yes that is what a CD is - a male who likes to integrate some feminine aspects some of the time. For those who have transformed themselves into a full time woman - transsexuals, 24/7 transgenderists or whatever then good for them but the vast majority of CDs are not like that.

This continual need to put down CDs who have "male thoughts" smacks of condescension and intolerance. I think a dose of reality is needed to offset this fantasy.

This misunderstanding of what the average CD is just leads to confusion. For example I have seen many comments from GGs annoyed by CDs stating "this is not how a woman behaves, you are not acting like a real women" or words to that effect. Well they should not be under the misapprehension that CDs are actually trying to become a real woman and copy all aspects of womanhood including thought processes in the first place.

I have never seen a CD complain to another CD "your thoughts are too womanly" but I frequently see comments about CDs being too manly as if this was an insult. CDs occupy the full spectrum of gender behavior so lets show our acceptance.

[Hope]

We recently drove another GG off of this section. Of all the people that belong to this forum you would think that the advice we, the cder, would want the most is from the GG's.

While I am in full support of making a place where everyone - EVERYONE - can post, I am not sure that what we want to do is create first class and second class seating in this forum.

As CDs we experience enough second class status in the world already, we don't need to assign it to ourselves in our own forums.

While I would like GGs to feel comfortable here, I don't think anyone should be sheltered from receiving certain types of responses just as a result of their gender.

Maybe I am wrong, but I can't imagine reading a thread that starts with the sentence: "We recently drove another CD off of this section."

[docrobbysherry]

do we want to
be praised and pumped up or do we want to hear the TRUTH - we need the
TRUTH and learn from the TRUTH - Truth is a whole lot better than FANTASY
JoAnne Wheeler

Uh, JoAnne, most of us r guys that dress up to look like women. For u, that's the truth? For me, it's a glorious FANTASY!! :D

When I want the, "truth", I'll read the newspaper!:doh:
It ISN'T "truth" that makes this site a success, it's the HONESTY!:eek:


As has been said above people of all persuasions join and leave this site all the time. We should expect to see here, bigots, rednecks, pro-and anti-gun, gay and straight people, women lovers and women haters, and all the rest.

That is what makes a forum interesting and alive. Different opinions, both good and bad, can help us all learn and grow. Bad posts when ignored become nothing. However, with replies and counter arguments they just stay alive.

I think Allie has pinpointed exactly why this forum IS SO SUCCESSFUL! We're all the same, yet we're all different! Controversy is interesting, stimulating, and energizing! If everyone here agreed with each other, and talked nice, polite, and ever so sweetly, it would become as boring as TV!:sad:


Yes that is what a CD is - a male who likes to integrate some feminine aspects some of the time. For those who have transformed themselves into a full time woman - transsexuals, 24/7 transgenderists or whatever then good for them but the vast majority of CDs are not like that.

This continual need to put down CDs who have "male thoughts" smacks of condescension and intolerance. I think a dose of reality is needed to offset this fantasy.


The reality for MOST OF US, ( NOT all, OK?), is we r men pretending, or TRYING to be, (if u prefer), women. How deeply u r invested in that fantasy, becomes your, "truth". But, your truth is NOT going to be the same as all other CDs here! And ENTIRELY different from anyone who has never thot to try on clothes of the other gender!

So, how about taking some personal responsibility here folks? If you're leaving this site because one person, ( out of how many 1000's we have here?), hurt your feelings, whose fault is that? I'm talking about EVERYONE now. GGs, CDs, TS/TG, dogs, cats, and unicorns!:brolleyes:

[2b.Lauren]

I find it sad to hear this over and over again. Lately, I find myself opening up a new thread, reading over the posts, and by the time I get to the end and consider posting I have been totally turned off by the negative dialogue that has been stated. It has been said if you don't have something nice to say don't, and I like to stay on that side of the road. I have enough negativity in my life without trying to find more in a place that I only hope to seek acceptance, assistance, and positivity. Still looking for Utopia. Without generalization and I feel this is truthful, Ours is a lonely road. I feel I need all the support possible in order to be able to do this (CDing) and get better at doing this (CDing) daily. I am not here to argue or prove a point over the other person. I learn a great deal from those kinds of posts, Stay the hell away from them! I think that the ladies or our wonderful GG's bring a sense and aire of truthfulness, and softness, something that I think we as crossdressers need to work on. It is probably the only article that we can't go out and buy or put on ourselves. Either we have it, or we don't, or hopefully we are working overtime to get it. My SO is not the most supportive of people in the world regarding my dressing, but I am so greatful for the part of her that does accept me and tries to help. So I celebrate what I have and strive to get what I don't, not like the bull in the china shop, but by getting a deeper understanding of how I can make it better.

Laruen "Always seeking to enjoy the softer side"

[Kate Lynn]

The outside may present as feminine and as beautiful as is possible.

The inside is still driven by the male ego.

Sometimes we really are "a man in a dress".

No offense but thats what I thought we were,just men in dresses,at least thats what I see when I look at myself in a mirror,I don't consider my dressing to be attempting to emulate a GG or be femminine in any way.
When I was a child I was forced to wear girls clothes by my stepfather and mother for three years,from age 4 thru 7,maybe I feel dressing like this is normal for me.
I think GG's input is great,we really need their point of view on things.

[Samantha43]

It amazes me that there are any GG's on this forum at all. I don't want my wife to get anywhere near here! She knows I am active on this forum, but never shows any interest.....thank goodness. She is very supportive of me, but would get all kinds of wrong ideas about my crossdressing by reading some of these threads.

The logo says "The #1 Community for Crossdressers, Their Family and Friends". I don't believe this is a family friendy forum at all. I'm not saying it should be family friendly, just that it isn't.

[Hope]

It amazes me that there are any GG's on this forum at all. I don't want my wife to get anywhere near here! She knows I am active on this forum, but never shows any interest.....thank goodness. She is very supportive of me, but would get all kinds of wrong ideas about my crossdressing by reading some of these threads.

The logo says "The #1 Community for Crossdressers, Their Family and Friends". I don't believe this is a family friendy forum at all. I'm not saying it should be family friendly, just that it isn't.

Yup - I have thought the same thing for quite some time.

While I am down with everyone expressing themselves the way they want to, and I DEFINITELY interested in hearing other perspectives, I would HATE for my wife to come here and think that what TG issues are about (for me) are what they are about for many of the folks here.

I guess the point is that we are all different, and if someone is not prepared to deal with those differences, with the full spectrum of human experience, maybe this isn't the place for them?

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

It amazes me that there are any GG's on this forum at all.
The logo says "The #1 Community for Crossdressers, Their Family and Friends". I don't believe this is a family friendy forum at all. I'm not saying it should be family friendly, just that it isn't.


You said it, Sis. Mostly due to time considerations and a new job... I am unable to come visit as much as I would like, but there is a sort of negative pall that has come over this place lately.

Its not just the people leaving, its also the respect for others that seems to be fading a little bit at a time. Of course, all forums (at least the dozen or so that I am a part of) go through this sort of thing, but this forum is a more personal one for me. I'm sure there are others that feel the same way.

This is supposed to be our safe haven to come and lay down our burdens, talk, maybe make some friends and learn. All of us have the capacity to offer one or more of these items in order to help ourselves and others... even if its just a quick listen to someone's problem or a *smiley*/*Hugs* reply to make someone's day.

I've always felt that I need each of you that participate no matter what your gender identity/sex etc is, and it IS sad when we lose someone that could add to our community.

Its not easy to get along in this world, but we do need to try our best.

*hugs*

Zarabeth

[Samantha43]

Very well said, Zarabeth.

[Kelli Michelle]

I LOVE that song! You rock Reine. :-)

I consider the chance to hear the honest opinions, feelings, and fears of our GG's to be one of the major perks of hanging out here and I'm sorry to see any of them leave.
Having said that, I still don't recall seeing any posts or trends that would rate a GG running away angry, upset, or disgusted. I note the posts from those who are crying that they can not find anyone, or that their wives are not accepting, but I think these kinds of posts are to be expected. After all, a lot of the people that visit here do so because they are in pain, because they are hurt, because the are lonely. It seems to me that anyone visiting a forum along these lines should expect some of that?

I second this. Further, it seems the ggs seem most agitated by the "non accepting wife" threads. It's nothing personal, except to the one speaking on that. I do agree that some of the cders posts (like mine--lol) totally lose me with their irrational, illogical stances. But, there are tons of quality, well-thought out cders' posts/threads. Why not just ignore the silly, annoying, ridiculous posts (they don't speak for all of us cders), and just celebrate and enjoy the good ones. It sounds like the ggs leaving are saying " I'm not happy, so I'm taking my ball and leaving..." Don't let a few with whom you disagree, vehemently, distract you from contributing to the greater good.

I, personally value the opinions of the ggs here and will miss them if they leave. But everyone has to do what they have to do.

[ReineD]

I don't think anyone's leaving. Sometimes people just take breaks. It's happened to me once or twice in the past. I found myself getting so wrapped up in here I had to disappear for awhile. Or my level of activity will ebb and flow depending on what's going on in my life. I bet this happens to TGs too! :) Or if GGs do leave for extended periods of time, I do believe it is because their lives have settled with the CDing. They no longer have issues to resolve. Every once in a while we'll hear from someone who hasn't been here for awhile and who just pops in to say hi. This is perfectly natural.

And lately we have a rash of new GGs who are posting all over the place! I agree with you, Kelli, most folks here (including you :) ) are kind, thoughtful, and intelligent, even though sometimes emotions become heated and people step on each other's toes. And maybe sometimes people do not express themselves as well as they might for whatever reason, or perhaps posts are taken out of context. But as long as everybody remembers to play nice in the end it always does work out.

Yes, there is a fair share of silly posts, but I've seen the more seasoned TGs help the newcomers to grow too. And I've seen TGs brought down to earth when way off in a pink fog (if they've asked for advice) by their fellow TGs. There have been so many informative and thought provoking threads in this forum! I feel privileged to be a part of it.

I bet many people feel the same way!
:love:

Edited to add:

Samantha & Hope, it is true many of the threads would frighten a new GG who is having a hard time even seeing her husband dressed. But we do warn the new GGs to not take everything they read as applying to their situation, and to discuss anything that may cause concern with their partners. We do all understand that everyone posts in the M2F forum, not just the hetero, married CDers. And after awhile, it becomes easy to get a sense of what applies and what does not.

:hugs:

[msginaadoll]

I personally welcome all the input of all the folks here. I do take exception to the idea of "we' driving somebody off. I dont believe we did. The individuals did it of there own choice. All of us choose to post here and we can choose to leave. The various people may have not liked what was being said, but so be it. I find it funny sometimes, belonging to other forums where people loudly discuss they are leaving and never coming back due to some slight. My response is sorry to see u go, but the forum and life will go on. I think one of the valuable lessons i get instilled on me in this forum is that the world doesnt revolve around me. Everyone out there does not care how I look dress, talk, etc. I am just one lone voice. Well thats my two cents and if you dont like it I will leave and never come back, going to my closet of solitude. I mean this somewhat lighthearted and hope the ladies who left will come back but that was there choice. Who hasnt changed their mind!

[GypsyKaren]

I do take exception to the idea of "we' driving somebody off. I dont believe we did.

Speaking as a moderator for 3 years who sees pretty much everything posted on this forum, quite a few GG's have left because of rudeness, hostility, "know it all" and "take it or screw you" attitudes, and downright personal attacks. Many of you never see it because you don't check everything like we do, plus we also delete it as soon as it's brought to our attention, but trust me, it does happen.

Karen :g2: