70% female 30% male

[Christina Horton]

Hi that's what I think the level of my make up is . Pun intended.LOL. I think men and women whom don't crossdress have to have a small % of the others mind set ,like, Women will be like say 90% to 95% female and the rest male and vice versa for men. Other wise we could not relate to each other like we do EH! Before I started to gout in the world dressed as Christina the 30% was inflated to fill the 70% Of the rest of MIKE, the fem part was mushed down in the smallest part of my soul. My manhood was artafishly inflated, and Christina was Crying and screaming to be free. For years I could not say while watching TV "oh that's A outfit, It would look great on me" when I almost said that I would have to bit my lip to not say IT. In 91 I told my family and friends, but still Christina was trapped. Until last year . My sis whom was driving for me helped me , I was ready to do it. I bought my first wig and breast forms and was on this sight( witch helped me so much thank you all for the support :cheer::kiss::kiss::thumbup:) and had my first make over. You all can read of my first time out it under "My first time out YAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! since then I have been out as Christina 10. All by my self. Yesterday was the best day ever. But I will write about it soon. My fem side is now bigger. I would say she's up to 40% only 30% more to go. You see I have 6 long dangle ear rings all the time for years now,and long painted acrylic nails,since my 3rd outing. They have been painted since Aug 9th and acrylic since Halloween last year 2008. Painted red or pink,blue green gold witch they are now. I cry much more and don't care if people see. Its is so much better to let all the boo hoos out then keeping them in like a good boy should.After all BOYS DON'T CRY EH.I have outed my self (To people whom did not know I Am CD;) to my accountant and my car guy, Whom says he's very proud of me and said I looked hot,He could not stop shaking my hand and saying wow you look so hot.Wow that was a day, HOOOOO!!!!!!!!! He did not even know it was me he had to look at my car to know who I was . LOL. SO my % of male and female part of whom I am is all most to where it should be.I am much happier now then I ever was. If you need a way to explain it to your Wife, girl friend,boy friend then you may use my explanation. If it works for you. The only two things I need in my live now Is a woman whom I can grow old with and love with this huge heart I have( and get your minds out of the gutter girls;) And find I new better Job. I don't want to drive truck any more But I have no other real skills to do any thing but hard Back breaking work. SO my sole Is almost full, save for the two that is. Well that's it I think after years if trying to figger out how to tell someone why , I think (for me anyway at least) it the best way to explain. Will it work for you maybe yes maybe no only you can know. I hope this has given you some insight, And maybe you have after reading this have had a "wow oh wow she hit the nail right on the head for me". But I wont' hold my breath,cuz It's what I have found out about myself, and I feel so much better about myself now I have got it. Well I hope you liked this look into my inner sole. HUGGS :hugs: From A much happier girl :canada:

[Veronica Lacey]

Interesting goal there, the 70/30 percentage split. That you have worked your way up to 40% is admirable and worthy of further effort, of course.

I would suspect I am a mere 90/10 m/f and will remain as such (by choice.) My male thoughts and personality simply far outweigh any female side within and I am comfortable with that. Now dressing itself, well, I would much prefer to be in the 50/50 realm, really, but currently only get to dress maybe 4% of the time. My wife is tolerable and mildly engaging of my dressing but that is it. No complaints, though, as her love is the real deal.

Glad to read you are finding a fulfilling balance! :)

[Angie G]

Christina Cool hun It's nice your coming out and all If you no longer wish to drive truck think about taking some classes in something you are interested in and change you job hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Annie D]

Do you remember when the degree of a person's exercise was measured by "perceived effort"? I think that the same holds true for crossdressing: it is how we perceive ourselves. The ladies who are out substantially more than I perceive themselves to be able to present themselves a higher % female than I am able to do. When I first started going out as Annie I was less than 40%, but as I have gained in confidence, I think that I am at 75-80%. When I can dress and not fear going to any place that I can now do as a male, I will be at 90%+.

Nice thread, I hope you get several responses.

[Rachaelb64]

Ok just to add a bit of confussion

There's my male side - Steve
There's my female side - Rachael
And there's me in the middle - Stevael / Racheve

An umpire in my mind's tennis match :)

Any names used in these post do not identify with any persons living, dead, undead or inbetween

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I'm about 50/50 if you count my inner self and the way I think and act


JoAnne Wheeler

[Christina Horton]

Well, I don't think you can work it out like that, we humans are not just a one-line graph. Speaking for myself, here's how I do the maths:

Chromosomes : 100% male
Hormones : 100%
Sex organs : 100%
Secondary sexual characteristics (voice, hair etc): 85%
Legal status : 100%
Job/social role : 35%
Clothing : most days 95%, some days 0%
Sexuality : 99%
Self-identity : 100%
So that's my score. You can perhaps work out the figures that relate to yourself. If you want to see what that looks like, draw a radar graph.

But since all of these are different directions, you can't add them up and come to a single figure. It would be like saying: "I spend half my time in Vancouver and half in Montreal, so I actually live in Winnipeg."



I think you missed the point hun. I am not talking about all that other stuff, Just the fem side of me and how much of her is coming out in my drab side.
Thank you for thinking of all that is think It shows that I got you thinking of how your made up. Thanks for all your replies keep them coming.:hugs: :canada:

[Veronica Lacey]

Ok just to add a bit of confussion

There's my male side - Steve
There's my female side - Rachael
And there's me in the middle - Stevael / Racheve

An umpire in my mind's tennis match :)



That's a great analogy, Rachael, and a very civilized one at that. Does it always feel so civil a match such as tennis or is there an Aussie rules rugby match going on at time , too? :bonk:

[Christina Horton]

Yes, but which is your femme side? Is it your clothes, the way you walk, the way you feel deep inside, your sexual urges ...?

What I'm saying is that for me, my "femme side" doesn't exist in itself, it's a mix of all these other things. But thank you for making me think about this further.

Ok I think I get what your saying better now . Yes My fem side is more then the Clothes I wear but all aspecks of my personality , right down to my toes. Witch remindes me I need a pedacure, bad. maybe today. My Sexual urges are male . Being dressed up and having sex is not something I need to do, and my girl friends had no prob with the night gown, allthough the said I look funny in one with no boobs or long hair. LOL thank you for make you commentes clearer. HUGGS Hun :hugs: :canada:

[Rachaelb64]

That's a great analogy, Rachael, and a very civilized one at that. Does it always feel so civil a match such as tennis or is there an Aussie rules rugby match going on at time , too? :bonk:


Veronica, in my early years it was like I had WWIII going on in my head :), so a tennis match isn't to bad these days sometimes in degrades into a rugby ruck but hey thats life :)

[tamarav]

Some of my personalities are fighting over the percentages, I will just quietly go off into another room until they finish...

[SaraTV]

I would suspect I am a mere 90/10 m/f and will remain as such (by choice.) My male thoughts and personality simply far outweigh any female side within and I am comfortable with that. Now dressing itself, well, I would much prefer to be in the 50/50 realm, really, but currently only get to dress maybe 4% of the time. My wife is tolerable and mildly engaging of my dressing but that is it. No complaints, though, as her love is the real deal.

After some thought, I suspect I'm quite similar to you, Veronica. Everything from my inner thoughts to dress time to my wife's level of tolerance and our real love for each other; I would definitely describe using the words and numbers you chose. Glad to see there's another gurl like me out there.

[Christina Horton]

I would say that now Christina Is up to 50 % . The last time I was in town I never went out unless I was dressed up and the same this time save for Monday cuz I had a laser hair removal at 11 o'clock. It's the first time I went out as Mike. So I have been getting to know Christina . And I love every min of it. SO as time goes on My fem side will get bigger and I will one day hopefully get a job and dress as Christina 24/7 would be cool. HUGGS :hugs: :canada:

[vjaducd]

Tes you are right, I myself is 70% female & 30 % male daily but whenever I crossdress I am 95% female & 5 % male due to only genetic body. I enjoy c.d.ing & want to become 99 5 female .Will any body advice ,guide for refference & help? Pl.contect me & send me p.m. freely.
vjaducd from india

[Christina Horton]

For 6 weeks I have been on the road and My % has gone up for some reason. I would say 55 to 60 % . I drive alone and Have done some crying ( the good crying) and been working hard. Go figger tigger.

HUGGS :hugs: :canada:

[battybattybats]

different regions of the brain control different things.
Scientific evidence suggests that we all are a mix of masculine and feminine brain regions. That being TS is caused by having a feminine brain region in the part that controls gender identity when your external anatomy is male.

Your sexuality involves other brain-regions being more 'male' or 'female'.

And about 1/3rd of people are not strongly-gendered in the brain at all.

http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/06/bigender-and-brain.html

[Midnight Skye]

I had never thought of people not being strongly gendered at all. Interesting thought.

Personally I'm mentally something like 70% female and 30% male. My workplace is still holding my male persona together... but once I get out of work I'm having trouble finding reasons not to fem out completely.

[Persephone]

It's what I have found out about myself, and I feel so much better about myself now I have got it. Well I hope you liked this look into my inner sole. HUGGS :hugs: From A much happier girl :canada:

What a wonderful, moving post, Christina!

I've read many of your posts here and your insight is amazing! Some of what you are trying to deal with is very hard and it is no surprise that it causes you a lot of difficulty and makes you cry.

I might suggest that you try not to change too much at the same time. There are plenty of women truckdrivers these days :) .

After all, life is like truckdriving, it's all about keeping the shiny side up and keeping it between the ditches.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Christina Horton]

What a wonderful, moving post, Christina!

I've read many of your posts here and your insight is amazing! Some of what you are trying to deal with is very hard and it is no surprise that it causes you a lot of difficulty and makes you cry.

I might suggest that you try not to change too much at the same time. There are plenty of women truckdrivers these days :) .

After all, life is like truckdriving, it's all about keeping the shiny side up and keeping it between the ditches.

Hugs,
Persephone.


Thank you your so sweet. I never though of my writing as Insightful ....wow thank you for that HUN. KISSES.

[Byanca]

I have always thought that people who look at them self as man or woman are being irrational. And all the men I've known I've looked on probably as slightly stupid for going around pretending this game that they do, instead of being like woman as they really are.

But maybe there really is a difference between men and woman.Except for the baby making and external looks. I dont know, seems strange to me.

[RobertaM]

Wow great posts christina, hopefully we can hook up this wend, wow you have been working on the balance thing big time. I am 90/10 when dressed, and 10/90 when not,
figure that out.

[Christina Horton]

Well girls after the weekend I had I would say I am now up to 70% fem & 30 % male. ha ha ha ha ha I finally made it. (I hear fan fair in the distance and people cheering ) . So were are all of you now at. I must say I may even go higher some day and I can't wait for that adventure too. Tutealypipski As Rimmer loves to say.

[Karren H]

I'm glad you have been able to enumerate it because I could spend the rest of the day trying to derive an equation.. Probably have too many variables.. And not enough constants.. But it would most likely trend towards 100% me no mater who's clothes I wear..

[Christina Horton]

I'm glad you have been able to enumerate it because I could spend the rest of the day trying to derive an equation.. Probably have too many variables.. And not enough constants.. But it would most likely trend towards 100% me no mater who's clothes I wear..

Now would you stop being so analytical about it, your to much the engineer , Stop analyzing everything and just feel what and who you are. It's not an equation to figger out . it a feeling you have in your heart dear, if you over analyzes it you diminish it and make it something less then it is.
We should all stand up and stick out out chest's and scream out to the heaven's that we love been CD's and if the world does not like it TF!

I mean if we were all the same we'd all be Crossdressers right. HUGGS, hun your the best:hugs::love:

[Karren H]

So I can stop working on the formula? Damn and I was so close.. Still trying to figure out if I should Avagadros number but I'd have to convert dress sive to molecules per gram-mole... Or E = MC^2 but I was having a hard time figuring the mass of a pair of pumps as it approached the speed of light.. If I remember right and energy remained constant then the shoe size would become infantly large which might be good for girls with large feet... Only if they can run very very fast!! :D

[Christina Horton]

So I can stop working on the formula? Damn and I was so close.. Still trying to figure out if I should Avagadros number but I'd have to convert dress sive to molecules per gram-mole... Or E = MC^2 but I was having a hard time figuring the mass of a pair of pumps as it approached the speed of light.. If I remember right and energy remained constant then the shoe size would become infantly large which might be good for girls with large feet... Only if they can run very very fast!! :D

I see you prob, You still believe the speed of light is the fastest thing out there. Well It's not so many really smart people like you still think that BUT. It's the speed of dark that is what you need for your calculations. You see Light has to travel through dark and when light stop dark is already there so it's twice as fast that you can't see it , so that's where all your miss-calculations come from. Don't feel bad hon It fooled Einstein and Steven Halken's