Thornton
03-18-2009, 03:48 PM
In my experience, I have noticed that first impressions do in fact mean a great deal. I noticed this specifically during my transition.
When I alerted my friends and those around me, they would always have trouble remembering to switch pronouns, even though they meant well. I'd glare at them whenever they slipped up, and once they realized it, "Sorry! Sorry. I meant 'he'. It's only that I've known you for so long as...." and I'm sure you've all been through something like this many times before.
However, when I began to introduce myself to people using my male name, or if I was introduced with my male name, the new people would have no problem remembering my name, remembering the correct pronoun, even sometimes knowing I'm trans, even sometimes knowing I'm pre-op.
At times, I'll find myself explaining to people Gender Identity Disorder, what it is, what it means, etc. I'll use and explain terms like "MTF" or "FTM", and tell them whatever they want to know to the best of my ability. In practically every conversation, I'll find myself talking about a general transman, and the person will ask/say, "So, she's really a girl?" Many times, people have brought up a reality television show here in the states called The Real World, which I guess has an MTF on it (I've never watched it). While talking about her, they'll never stop referring to her as "him","That guy","he",etc., no matter how many times I'll correct them.
And this all leads up to my point of first impressions, introductions, and their effect in the terms FTM and MTF. When ever I spell out the words "Female-to-Male" and "Male-to-Female" to those who have never encountered it before, I feel the first word is getting stuck in their head. Never mind if you don't even look/sound/act/live typically like the gender you were assigned at birth, if you're an FTM, once a person hears "Female", you're stuck as such in their minds forever, same situation with the MTFs.
And so, my proposition is this: that FtM and MtF be changed to MfF and Ffm, “Male from Female” and “Female from Male”. I feel in this way, the core sex/gender is put out and exposed first, allowing what we really are to be impressed into people’s minds. I feel these terms express more clearly what we are, individuals born into the wrong bodies, as opposed to individuals who just decided to switch teams.
MtFs were personally never male, and FtMs were personally never female, so why introduce them with the error?
I just want to know what you all think about this.
When I alerted my friends and those around me, they would always have trouble remembering to switch pronouns, even though they meant well. I'd glare at them whenever they slipped up, and once they realized it, "Sorry! Sorry. I meant 'he'. It's only that I've known you for so long as...." and I'm sure you've all been through something like this many times before.
However, when I began to introduce myself to people using my male name, or if I was introduced with my male name, the new people would have no problem remembering my name, remembering the correct pronoun, even sometimes knowing I'm trans, even sometimes knowing I'm pre-op.
At times, I'll find myself explaining to people Gender Identity Disorder, what it is, what it means, etc. I'll use and explain terms like "MTF" or "FTM", and tell them whatever they want to know to the best of my ability. In practically every conversation, I'll find myself talking about a general transman, and the person will ask/say, "So, she's really a girl?" Many times, people have brought up a reality television show here in the states called The Real World, which I guess has an MTF on it (I've never watched it). While talking about her, they'll never stop referring to her as "him","That guy","he",etc., no matter how many times I'll correct them.
And this all leads up to my point of first impressions, introductions, and their effect in the terms FTM and MTF. When ever I spell out the words "Female-to-Male" and "Male-to-Female" to those who have never encountered it before, I feel the first word is getting stuck in their head. Never mind if you don't even look/sound/act/live typically like the gender you were assigned at birth, if you're an FTM, once a person hears "Female", you're stuck as such in their minds forever, same situation with the MTFs.
And so, my proposition is this: that FtM and MtF be changed to MfF and Ffm, “Male from Female” and “Female from Male”. I feel in this way, the core sex/gender is put out and exposed first, allowing what we really are to be impressed into people’s minds. I feel these terms express more clearly what we are, individuals born into the wrong bodies, as opposed to individuals who just decided to switch teams.
MtFs were personally never male, and FtMs were personally never female, so why introduce them with the error?
I just want to know what you all think about this.