Busted royally

[Leslie Mary S]

Well the cat is out of the bag that I am a cross dresser.
It seems that while my adopted daughter 'R' was out enjoying herself with fiends of her own age. This included one of her adopted 'S' sisters who hates me and doesn't really like 'R' anymore. 'R' needs to continue to associate with 'S' for a while longer.

Well 'S', while trying to express how much she hates me and 'R', said at the table of 8 people in a very crowded country club, in a loud voice to 'R' but so everyone could hear: "And you are living with that weirdo cross dressing photographer".
'R' rents a room from me and is my business manager/studio-house maintainer/adopted daughter.
I do know who told 'S' and am very unhappy in the breach of confidentiality. This disclosure has most likely killed my business in this area as a photographer.

Well it is impossible to go back and unsay what has been said. So I will go back into my hermit mode in this town.

[Lisa Golightly]

I got quite a bit of work from other 'girls' who wanted photos done, so it might be a boon... and it didn't worry my corporate account... actually I won the account by showing photos of me amongst others...

Sorry about the public exposure... That is never nice...

Lisa x

[celeste26]

Who knows just what other people heard and/or paid attention to? Just because it was said doesn't mean anyone paid attention to it. Wait and see is what I would say, others that were there may not connect the dots or even believe some teenager that is ranting anyway.

Only if one of the others plainly denies you business and tells you that it is because of your hobby would I worry too much about it. Water under the dam so to speak anyway.

[Leslie Mary S]

Thank you All for your support. First of all the age grouping at the table was people in their 30s not 18-25. Also I have already gotten a call because of it (a photo job lost) I do have the "womanless beauty contest" as for the reason I had cross dressed.
Life will keep on. I and 'R' should be in the KY area the first weekend of April. I will have camera in hand and makup kit/dresses too.

[Lorileah]

How dare she out you as a photographer! Everyone knows you are artiste! This could be disastrous and you may very well be taking more portraits and helping the girls look their best for the lens! :) You know your artistic abilities transfer in both the front and back of the lens.

[LeslieSD]

Just like everything else in life, you can never control what other people say. But what you do can control is whether you like to live a happy life or not. No one can take the happiness away from you unless you choose to give it away.

So live a happy life, and let morons be morons. :-)

[Joy Carter]

I'd show em the door.

[Kayla Shadows]

Sorry to hear about that.Wasnt a very nice thing to do.Hope things arent going too bad for you and your not stressing too much.It sucks that it was put out there like that but,I guess there is only dealing with it now.It was mean but,I believe all things like that come back to us.

[JulieC]

There's an axiom in the security world; the chance of a piece of information getting into the hands of unwanted audiences goes up at the square of the number of people who know.

Thus, if two people know, it's four times as likely as one person knowing. If three, then nine times more likely. Four, sixteen, etc. Telling just one more person is always a lot more risky.

As a result, the only people who know I crossdress who could have an affect of any kind on my life is a list limited to one person; my wife. That's it.

I'm sorry this will likely have the impact that it has. There's not much you can do about it. The secret's out, and it will have whatever damage it is going to have. Try to move past it as best you can.

[Noxvictum]

From one kind of artist to another, repeat after me: "I'm an artist, **** yeah I'm weird!" Tone is important. You must sound like this is common sense. And a smirk. Gotta make it friendly, of course.

[Brina Halloween]

You could move west to that town with the crossdressing mayor.

I guess you will learn what people are really like there. I would hope most decent people would simply say it is your choice and still give you the business.

Brina

[Leslie Mary S]

Since my CD cover is blown, GGDau and I have a new idea. If you want to know it please send me a private e-mail.

[Nicole Erin]

I live in a town with 700,000 people. The once a week I go out totally en femme, people don't even notice or seem to care.
Sure we have our hicks but I cannot imagine living in a city that has almost nothing but hicks, where people are not so educated on diversity and everyone has their nose crammed in everyone else's business

In a big town, you can hide in plain sight but how does a CD do it in a small town? That would drive me nuts.

[Persephone]

There was a former friend of mine who once decided to out me to one of my professional communities. It happens to be an artistic/performing community. I have no idea how many people she told, but I received two phone calls as a result -- both positive. Never heard anything negative (if you'll pardon the photo pun) from anyone.

Of the two calls I did get, one of them became a much closer friend as a result.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

I was in Crossville a couple of weeks ago to pick up a couple of wigs there from an ebay seller....

I can't say I know anything about Crossville one way or the other, but it is in TN. and TN. is the Buckle of the Bible Belt....so that being said I think you probably had two & 1/2 strikes against you before you even put the first box down as you unpacked....but that being said look at it this way....you do something that a lot of us would like to take advantage of and that's have professional photo shoots done....so why don't you market your skills to that area and maybe set up shoots on weekends in a regional area....like Louiville one weekend Atlanta another Nashville another and do this as the business builds....all of these cities can be reached in about 3 hours drive and you could expand out even more if you wished.....after all there are CDers all over this country the last time I looked....as they say when they give you lemons make lemonaide....

Good luck....

Steph

[Eileen]

Sherry is right! You have endless opportunities to explore! A person wanting a photo shoot wants the best pictures. Most will not be interested in your personal life. You may live in the Bible Belt, but there are a lot of tgirls there, who once they know you are there will want to use your services. Expand your market area and your future may be brighter than you ever dreamed.

Eileen

[JoAnne Wheeler]

So you are OUT - it is not the end of the world - maybe it is a blessing

because now you can be free to be yourself - and if you would like going

around and taking professional pictures of all of us, that would be great


JoAnne Wheeler

[pahosegirl]

sorry about your incident that is awful to endure that issue

[Leslie Mary S]

I posted the latest saga over in the Ark Angel lounge

[TxKimberly]

I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet. :)

[Leslie Mary S]

That expantion is what I will be doing. I have a shoot scheduled the 15th here at the studio. Will also be going to the Sigma Epsalon Spring Dance (not sigma kappa as reported eariler) event. Also going to the Bolling Green, KY on April the 4th. Over Arkensas and the Houston TX area the following month or so.
I always carry my cameras and portable umbrella strobes with me.
As soon as I figure out how to advertise my services here i will.
Could someone please send me via private message how to do it.

[Tammy298]

You might lose a few customers along the way, but you'll probably gain more from the "publicity". Overall, most folks won't care if you don't make a big deal about it!

[SuzanneS]

You might lose a few customers along the way, but you'll probably gain more from the "publicity". Overall, most folks won't care if you don't make a big deal about it!

I think that Tammy is right....most folks won't care if you don't make a big deal of it. As long as you can remain comfortable with it, your customers will also and it will only help you. If you don't bring it up, they won't either and if they do, be honest as you can with them and don't be ashamed of it either. Just my two cents.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

If the cat's out, then what can be done?

Hold your head high. Be proud of who you are. Do your thing as you always have. You're a professional and that hasn't changed, has it? Did your skills evaporate? Do you really believe that everyone will treat you differently now?

I'm sure a few might, but I bet that most will not. Don't talk about it and don't act any differently. Just do your thing.

If someone outed me, I'd do my best to hold my composure and not show emotion at the moment of outing. If outing me was meant to embarrass me, then I will show no embarrassment and spoil their fun. This is a thought I hold in my head often, because one never knows if or when one might be outed.

I can't say I know what it feels like to be outed... busted, yes, but not outed in front of others. Take it easy and don't let your mind get the best of you.

You're not some freak and I doubt many people will think of you as one. At least not outside your own thoughts. :)