Wife found my bra

[Michala]

It was going to happen. Last night my wife came to me carrying one of my bras. She asked, "Who's is this?" Because of the help I've gotten from this site I told her "It's mine."

She looked kind of bewildered and asked about it. Instead of making up some story that she wouldn't believe I told her the truth. I was surprised that she didn't go ballistic but stayed ok with it. I didn't tell her about all my clothes, only explained the bra. I think it would be better to start slow and wait for a more throrough explanation as she asks questions.

It it hadn't been for this site I never would have been able to talk to her with confidence. Thanks to everyone.

[RickS52]

Keep that communication open and go slow.
As far as the rest of your clothing , she will find them.
So be prepared to explain them also.

[MJ]

why did you not tell the total truth when you had the perfect chance.

Don't chicken out you have a chance to tell her everything ..

how do you expect her to understand you when she does not have all the information.

look at it from her point of view

all the best

[Sandra]

Good for you for telling that the bra was yours, but from a GGs point please do not leave it to long to talk about the rest of your clothing. Talk to each other and be as honest as you can, also mention that there is a forum here just for wives/partners and she would be most welcome to join us.

[Carroll]

Keep that communication open and go slow.
As far as the rest of your clothing , she will find them.
So be prepared to explain them also.

With that in mind, I would not wait until she finds the rest of the clothes. Do go slow, but it would be better to have her know before she finds the clothes herself

[Kelli Michelle]

I agree with the others. Sooner or later the rest is gonna come out, so consider your cding as "known". That being said, I would not leave it too long (re. days) to tell her the rest.

[Kathy2U]

I think we all have been too scared to discuss the issues. Now is a great time to open the door. Be honest in who you are.

[Carly D.]

Keep that communication open and go slow.
As far as the rest of your clothing , she will find them.
So be prepared to explain them also.

And use this site.. sit her down and bring up this site.. any questions she has let her see for herself.. this is one of quite a few sites to help explain your second self.. and do keep it going slow... but keep it going...

[Alana Lucerne]

I guess part of the good news is that you didn't have a heart attack. No bolt of lightning struck you. :)

But I think the advice others above have given is sound. I think you should try to bring your wife into your world before she gets surprised again. Too many suprises and she might not be in the mood to talk. I wish someone could tell you how to do that. You'll just have to trust your instincts, but not let it drag (excuse the pun) on.


Alana

[geri-tg.]

I came out to my wife a long time ago.We talked and talked.I have said this before when you talk be sure to listen also.Hear what your SO has to say. We are now very comfortable with my dressing. I do honor Her wishes when I dress, and I dress in some way daily. Good luck and go slowly.:)

[tommi]

You can also bet she may be looking for anything else come clean while you still can control the fire otherwise it could lead to a big flare up.

[Shannon]

By all means, if she doesn't bring it up again soon, I think you should. Go slow, but the longer you wait to tell her about the rest of your clothing, the greater the damage to the trust and open communications you have. You absolutely did the correct thing with your first step in telling her the bra was yours. Now lean forward a bit and let her know there is more.

[Hali]

Tell the SO but slowly and show it as fun and dont be obsessive about it.

[docrobbysherry]

That's EXACTLY how my ex found out about my dressing!

She was WORRIED ANOTHER WOMAN HAD BEEN IN OUR BEDROOM, so finding out I wore a bra occassionally, was a HUGE relief for her!:heehee:

[Sally2005]

I think you should wait for a few days and ask her about the bra...you know, does she think it is odd... find out which friends she told so you know where any false information comes from. Then later on, tell more or ask her is she wants to see more... I think the problems happen when you reach a certain level that threatens her perception of the 'man'. Deal with her in a way that stengthens what she values in you. For example, if she appeciates your humor then introduce it in a funny way, if she needs you to be the man show her how it doesn't change who you are...etc. etc. Take this all with a grain of salt, I'm only scratching the surface with my wife and its far from perfect.

[Alana65]

Good for you in telling the truth about the bra to your wife, but I agree with Sandra in Post #4..........getting everything out in the open with her may be better for the both of you in the long run. Just make sure you answer honestly to any questions she has.....she deserves that. :hugs: and good luck.

[mklinden2010]

>>>Thanks to everyone.

You are very welcome.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I agree with the others, please don't let this opportunity to fess up pass you by. With no secrets there is no need to hide any clothing, wigs or make up.

Who knows, you might just end up with a wife who is supportive, encouraging or even participative....of course you will then be the envy of a lot of girls here :daydreaming:

Good luck

Tash :)

[Michala]

I did admit that I had often dressed when younger and wore my mother's clothes and that I had begun to feel that desire again. She seemed ok with that but didn't seem to want to talk about it more so I didn't push the issue.

My wife also had the same feelings of relief when I assured her that it did not belong to another woman.

I'm sure it will come up again but don't want to force the issue.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Yours is kind of like my story - my spouse found my make-up stash and

immediately assummed that I was having an affair - I had to fess up and tell

her that it was mine - this brought EVERYTHING to a head real quick


JoAnne Wheeler

[Sheila]

I am with all the girls, sooner rather than later & definately calm and rational ........ as Sandra says let her know we havea GG only section here and we would welcome her there

[GlitterGG]

Get it all out in the open as soon as you can. The quicker things are out in the open the less time her imagination has to run away with her. She needs to know you still love her, but most importantly (after everything is out in the open) you need to listen to her. She's going to ask a question or two that may make you mad. Don't immediately jump on the defensive when this happens. Walk a mile in her shoes (emotionally) and try to see things from her side of the closet. I know there's going to be a huge elated feeling from your perspective (you don't have to hide, you can share, etc.). That's a long way off from where you're at. Because right now, it's no longer all about you. (No offense, but up until now you haven't had to consider her feelings about this, because she didn't know) See if maybe she would want to join this forum, where there are others she can talk to. Kudos to you for telling her the truth!! :)

[kellycan27]

I guess the good thing is that she was probably glad that it didn't belong to another woman... er... to a strange woman...er to... a strange woman that she didn't know LOL. Might be the right time break it to her. Good luck
Kelly

[Angie G]

She's OK with it is she well your the lucky one aren't you. Just keep it slow hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Ralph]

It it hadn't been for this site I never would have been able to talk to her with confidence. Thanks to everyone.

{beam} I'm proud of you. Stories like that make up for all the catfighting and other nonsense around here.

ralph

[amy canada]

I think it's a good thing that you didn't tell your wife about your other clothes. Heck, she might start asking you if she could borrow some of it. Then you'll never see it again. Soon, she'll borrow everything and keep all of it, forcing you to buy more new stuff. Do you really want that?

Of course, that could be a good thing, because, like I said, you'd have to buy more new stuff. LOL

[Rachel Morley]

Walk a mile in her shoes (emotionally) and try to see things from her side of the closet .... (No offense, but up until now you haven't had to consider her feelings about this, because she didn't know)
Wise words indeed! Your wife is going to need your help in educating her about what kind of CD you are. Don't let her jump to conclusions by staying quiet about all of this. She is going to be worried and concerned. However, you have to let her direct the conversation if possible. Don’t overload her with new information until she has absorbed what you have already told her. She is not your therapist or your priest, and your goal should not be to unburden yourself, but to help her understand you. Above all, listen to her! - Good luck! :hugs:

[rlars1]

Go slow for sure but now that she knows make sure you are making her aware of things. If it is done right it can me a thing that makes you closer as a couple. That is a wonderful thing. Just know that it won't happen over night. It took me 4 years to come to terms and peace with what my husband does. I was accepting but I did need to take things at my own pace. My sweet husband let me set some of the rules for my comfort and over time I was able to drop those rules. It was 2 years before I would let him wear a wig and make up. That was just from my own coming to terms. He is a very loving and patient man. Now it is fun for both of us.

[TJ Tresa]

as a joke I showed a pair of red panties to my wife. she thought they looked good on me and then she asked if I had any other female clothes. I told her all about it. Today we have our girl times, I sleep almost every night in a nightgown. I shave my legs and underarms all the time. etc.

[Yvonne York]

Great, now talk and get on with showing her everything. My girlfriend introduced me to wearing sexy clothes and we regularly sleep together with me dressed up, or both of us in sexy nighties. Am I just lucky, or are there a lot of women out there who not only accept us, but actually like our lives?

[laura.lapinski]

When I was around 25 or 26, my girlfriend found my bra in my top drawer. I was living in a 2 bedroom apartment with a male and female couple who were friends of mine, but I told her the bra was mine. I was so embarrassed, but I loved her and for some reason it was easier to tell her this, than to hurt her by having her think it belonged to another woman. She didn't believe me. I never had "the talk" with her after that, but we had other issues (hers) and we ended up breaking up some months after that. She is the only girlfriend and/or wife I have ever told, but it probably doesn't count since I don't think she believed me.

[TxKimberly]

Well at the very least, at least you no longer have to fear being caught or deal with the guilt of keeping secrets.