I have an amazing wife!

[JulieC]

My wife has known for a long time that I would like to have a wedding dress. She knows my general sizes, and also knows that I don't want to spend oodles of money. So, whenever she is in thrift or consignment shops, she's generally kept her eyes open. Recently, she found a wedding dress, and a pretty nice one at that, for the unbelievable price of $17. Yes, you read that right. She wasn't sure if it would fit, but for $17 she figured it was worth the money to try. It doesn't fit, but it's close, and gives me incentive to lose more weight :) I loooove how it feels!

And there's more; this past weekend we went to some thrift shops and she found five different skirts for me. Some of them are truly beautiful. The one I liked the least she said "Trust me, you want this skirt!" and she was right. I've fallen in love with it!

And just to top it off, we were out shopping a day later and she found this dress this dress (http://tinyurl.com/czmknn) for me.

My wife hasn't always been 100% supportive, but she is now (and has been for a while). She knows that she fell in love with all of me, not just the parts typically labeled as "masculine". It is hard for her to wrap her head around me in a dress, but she knows that this part of me is part of what makes me tick, and part of what makes her love me so much.

And yes, before everyone reminds me to do so :), I do shower her with love, affection, and heart felt appreciation for all of what she is and does for me. Yes, I know I'm very lucky. I wish all of us were so.

[faithricd]

Looooove the dress Julie! Congrads on having such a wonderful accepting wife. A lot of girls would love to be in your situation.

[cindym5_04]

Congrats on it all!! I LOVE that dress!!

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Lucky you - you have a wife to die for - I only wish that I could be so lucky


JoAnne Wheeler

[Jilmac]

And she picked out a very pretty dress for you as well. You're fortunate to have her. :love:

[Melanie R]

Treasure your wife forever. There are not many wives that accepting. The fantasy of my life was fulfilled in 1996 when my wife created for both of us matching white wedding dresses which we wore for our renewal of vows ceremony. My wife never ceases to amaze me. Her sister who has a terminal illness gave her many of her Neiman Marcus type clothes which included a beautiful black and brown patterned skirt. She brought this skirt to me as I was sitting watching TV this past Sunday and asked if I would try on the skirt. I did and wore the skirt with a matching blouse for most of the rest of the day. I bet she told me at least four times how lovely I looked in the skirt. I will wear the skirt tommorrow night when I attend a GLBT pride meeting.

[Yvonne York]

Yep, treasure her. My wife shops for me, and encourages me to buy on line. And we love being together, me dressed, and sleeping together with my sexy undies.

[ReineD]

I'm so happy for you both, Julie. Congratulations!

I'm convinced the reason many GGs are reluctant to offer support in the beginning is because they're scared and not because they have a moral objection or because 'women' turn them off necessarily. They simply don't understand what it means to be TG; they're afraid their husbands will go away, they don't know how far it will go or they're afraid of what others will think. But if SOs stay the course over time and venture out into their husband's TG world with him, they relax and they stop feeling threatened. They discover their husbands are the same after all and life goes on as usual.

I'm glad it all fell into place for you. Congrats on your new beautiful clothes!
:love:

[JulieC]

My wife never opposed crossdressing 100%. We've had some bumps along the way though. I do think that in our _particular_ case it helped that I explained to her what I was certain about. I was and remain certain that I do not want to have SRS, and that I do not want to live full time as a woman. I enjoy being a man too.

For some, this might not be as easy; you might not know where your own hard limits are, and that can be scary for a spouse. The reality is your wife married what she thought was a man. For those who see transitioning happening, this can be very hard.

For some, it may be easier to understand things taking the approach that "your husband" has a gender centric connotation. "Your spouse" does not. My wife has a spouse. She doesn't necessarily have a husband, in all interpretations of such a term.

I am absolutely honest and open with my wife, and everything and anything can be discussed. There are no taboo subjects. She knows where I keep my clothes, she knows what I'm generally looking for in the next purchases, and she knows what I hope to do in the future with crossdressing. She knows everything about everything, all my dreams, fantasies, etc. The same applies with her towards me. We are actively working together on fulfilling our dreams and fantasies in every respect. It's one heck of a ride :)

It hasn't all been laughs and giggles. We've had our struggles and continue to have our struggles with crossdressing. One that I'm having a hard time with is a difference in self-willingness to crossdress in front of her vs. when she is absent. I'm more comfortable when she is absent. She's admonished me to get over that,and to try to feel as comfortable when she's around as not. That's a minor one really, compared to some of the bumps we've had. But for us, a major advantage is we married each other literally for better and for worse, and we know that in being _together_ the worse is not between us, but external and we handle things head on...together.

Yes, we are lucky that we found each other. I would also say though that we make some of our "luck" by intentionally working on our relationship all the time. We don't take it for granted.

Ramble ramble :)

[Jenniferpl]

Nothing better than a supportive spouse.

[Ashlie Marie]

you know it is great how our wives know us so well.. and its funny this past weekend I tired that dress on at cold water creek in our mall lol I can't get it now girl lol.

hugs

[rlars1]

That is wonderful. Being a wife myself it sounds like she went through similar feelings I did. You are exactly right about falling in love with all of you. That is exactly how I feel about my husband. Best wishes on your goals.

[Satrana]

But if SOs stay the course over time and venture out into their husband's TG world with him, they relax and they stop feeling threatened. They discover their husbands are the same after all and life goes on as usual.

Words of wisdom. The sad but amusing thing about crossdressing is everyone, GGs and CDs alike, are making a mountain out of a molehill. It only becomes apparent once emerge from the tunnel of trials and tribulations and you slap yourself on the head and wonder why you got your knickers in a twist over something so trivial.

Hundred of years from now our descendants will be reading about these things and think of us as stupid cave-people for being unable to see that none of this matters. I am off to sacrifice a sheep to make sure the sun rises tomorrow morning. :)

[Highland Anne]

What a wonderful wonderful wife.

[JulieC]

That is wonderful. Being a wife myself it sounds like she went through similar feelings I did. You are exactly right about falling in love with all of you. That is exactly how I feel about my husband. Best wishes on your goals.

And you! It's WONDERFUL that you have that insight, to recognize you fell in love with him, not just part of him. Bravo!!!!

[JulieC]

you know it is great how our wives know us so well.. and its funny this past weekend I tired that dress on at cold water creek in our mall lol I can't get it now girl lol.

hugs

Aww rats! :)

I've learned many things in CDing. One of the many that really makes me appreciate the tribulations my wife goes through is that while women have about 100 times more options in clothes than men do, finding THE right thing in THE right size is quite hard, and shopping for women's clothes takes considerably longer than for men's clothes.

Outcome; I encourage my wife to buy something she finds fits perfectly and she adores, even if it's more expensive than we'd really like to pay at the time (within reason). It's so hard to find the perfect thing, it's not worth passing it up when you find it.

In short; Strike when the dress is hot :)

[LindaMarie]

I'm convinced the reason many GGs are reluctant to offer support in the beginning is because they're scared and not because they have a moral objection or because 'women' turn them off necessarily. They simply don't understand what it means to be TG; they're afraid their husbands will go away, they don't know how far it will go or they're afraid of what others will think. But if SOs stay the course over time and venture out into their husband's TG world with him, they relax and they stop feeling threatened. They discover their husbands are the same after all and life goes on as usual.



Maybe in some relationships and marriages, the SO becomes more comfortable over time with the idea of her SO crossdressing. It makes sense that the SO would realize over the years that her husband loves her very much and wants her to be happy but also wants to enjoy crossdressing. It hasn't worked out that way for me and my wife.

I know it's a difficult thing for most women to accept, much less support. I've made a lot of mistakes in trying to work out an accommodation with my wife about my crossdressing. There are many things I wish I'd have done differently, but overall, I feel like I've tried to be very patient with her.

And, we're still both very unhappy. She thinks my crossdressing is this weird, creepy thing that I do. I think I've demonstrated that I'm a good husband and father and that while crossdressing is something I like, it will never take over our marriage.

I love to read posts from those who have supportive wives or, at least, don't hate it. Because I still think there's something I can do to "fix" things (short of not crossdressing, which, as we know, is very unlikely to happen). But, I've become less and less hopeful over the years. There are no magic words and after more than 20 years of her knowing about me, I would think she would realize that it's not such a terrible thing.

Sorry to hijack this thread (and congratulations to JulieC - I'm very happy for you and your wife - you sound like a wonderful couple), but sometimes, I just get so frustrated.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[JulieC]

I love to read posts from those who have supportive wives or, at least, don't hate it. Because I still think there's something I can do to "fix" things (short of not crossdressing, which, as we know, is very unlikely to happen). But, I've become less and less hopeful over the years. There are no magic words and after more than 20 years of her knowing about me, I would think she would realize that it's not such a terrible thing.

Sorry to hijack this thread (and congratulations to JulieC - I'm very happy for you and your wife - you sound like a wonderful couple), but sometimes, I just get so frustrated.

Thanks for letting me vent.

I think this is one of the reasons this board exists; support. Allowing a space to vent is very important. No apologies needed!

I'm sorry the situation for you is what it is. I was thinking today how it would be wonderful if there was a manual saying "if you're MNO type and your wife is PDQ type then this is how you approach CDing so everyone is happy" but that's an impossible manual to write.

Social programming is exceptionally powerful. There are multiple sources for people of any stripe to believe that crossdressing is weird, creepy, sick, dangerous, immoral, etc. Getting past all of that social programming is very hard, and takes a particular type of person. Not just any person can do it. It's hard enough for the crossdresser who is not that type of person to figure out how to accept themselves, much less a spouse doing so.

I wish there were a way to fix such things.

[LindaMarie]

I think this is one of the reasons this board exists; support. Allowing a space to vent is very important. No apologies needed!

I'm sorry the situation for you is what it is. I was thinking today how it would be wonderful if there was a manual saying "if you're MNO type and your wife is PDQ type then this is how you approach CDing so everyone is happy" but that's an impossible manual to write.

Social programming is exceptionally powerful. There are multiple sources for people of any stripe to believe that crossdressing is weird, creepy, sick, dangerous, immoral, etc. Getting past all of that social programming is very hard, and takes a particular type of person. Not just any person can do it. It's hard enough for the crossdresser who is not that type of person to figure out how to accept themselves, much less a spouse doing so.

I wish there were a way to fix such things.

Julie,

Thanks for your kindness and understanding. I really appreciate the support I receive here. Thanks for providing that support today.

If your wife exhibits the same kind of empathy you do, then you are a very fortunate couple. My best to both of you.

All the best.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Awesome news, Julie! :)

How I LOVE to read posts like this! I'm so glad that your wife is really supportive AND even bought you a wedding dress! My wife keeps looking for one for me as well, but she hasn't found a deal that good yet. What is it with cd's and wedding dresses, anyway? :heehee:

Looks like your wife also ordered you the last of the dresses you linked to. The photo has been replaced with a "no longer available" message. lol

Send my love to your wife. Makes me so happy to read about accepting SO's! :)

[ReineD]

And, we're still both very unhappy. She thinks my crossdressing is this weird, creepy thing that I do. I think I've demonstrated that I'm a good husband and father and that while crossdressing is something I like, it will never take over our marriage.

I've become less and less hopeful over the years. There are no magic words and after more than 20 years of her knowing about me, I would think she would realize that it's not such a terrible thing.

I feel so sad when I read stories like yours. I am sorry it turned out this way for you and your wife. If only she could realize what she is missing by not being able to see all of you. If only she could allow herself to take just one tiny step through her wall.

I am hopeful that it will become easier with the younger generations and that the barriers to social acceptance will lessen over time. You have my full admiration for your stoicism and your obvious devotion to your wife.
:love:

[Joann0830]

My wife has known for a long time that I would like to have a wedding dress. She knows my general sizes, and also knows that I don't want to spend oodles of money. So, whenever she is in thrift or consignment shops, she's generally kept her eyes open. Recently, she found a wedding dress, and a pretty nice one at that, for the unbelievable price of $17. Yes, you read that right. She wasn't sure if it would fit, but for $17 she figured it was worth the money to try. It doesn't fit, but it's close, and gives me incentive to lose more weight :) I loooove how it feels!

And there's more; this past weekend we went to some thrift shops and she found five different skirts for me. Some of them are truly beautiful. The one I liked the least she said "Trust me, you want this skirt!" and she was right. I've fallen in love with it!

And just to top it off, we were out shopping a day later and she found this dress this dress (http://tinyurl.com/czmknn) for me.

My wife hasn't always been 100% supportive, but she is now (and has been for a while). She knows that she fell in love with all of me, not just the parts typically labeled as "masculine". It is hard for her to wrap her head around me in a dress, but she knows that this part of me is part of what makes me tick, and part of what makes her love me so much.

And yes, before everyone reminds me to do so :), I do shower her with love, affection, and heart felt appreciation for all of what she is and does for me. Yes, I know I'm very lucky. I wish all of us were so.

I Simply Love The dress and wish it was in my size, I can say to you to tell her from your friends here we also know She is Lovely both on the outside and inside, because she recognizes that soft side of you that makes you a very understanding spouse. Joann0830:battingeyelashes::heehee::love:

[JulieC]

Awesome news, Julie! :)

How I LOVE to read posts like this! I'm so glad that your wife is really supportive AND even bought you a wedding dress! My wife keeps looking for one for me as well, but she hasn't found a deal that good yet.

My wife knows I don't like spending oodles of money on crossdressing. After waiting so long for a wedding dress at a small price to come along, I was resigned to the fact I was going to have to spend at least a few hundred dollars. This find was amazing. Once in five years kind of thing, maybe more. The sad thing is it doesn't fit, and I'm going to have to lose about 40lbs to make it fit. Doable, but hard.

I commented on this to my wife, that if I can't achieve that I'm probably not going to be able to find a dress without going to a bridal store and actually finding one that fits in their inventory. She's willing, but am I? :o


What is it with cd's and wedding dresses, anyway? :heehee:

It's a common theme, that's for sure. I recall a thread about this very subject a while back. I think it's in part because wedding dresses are the penultimate in femininity. I think that's true, though I'm also currently going gaga over some older style dress very much along the lines of how Truly Scrumptious was dressed in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Oh that white dress...sigh!


Looks like your wife also ordered you the last of the dresses you linked to. The photo has been replaced with a "no longer available" message. lol

Went fast :) We found it at a Coldwater Creek outlet store. My wife got one in her size too. In fact, she wore it today and is loving it. It's very lightweight, but has decent structure and flares out nicely, accenting her best features. She said, "It's nice not to be wearing heavy winter clothes again!" and also said "I know you love how it feels!"


Send my love to your wife. Makes me so happy to read about accepting SO's! :)

I've been keeping her informed of responses here. She's pleased with herself too, I can tell, but too modest to say as much.

Getting to this point didn't happen by accident. It took a lot of work. There was a point at which I packed up all of my CD stuff and buried it deep in a storage closet in the garage, and didn't dress for months. I felt extremely rejected, hurt, wounded. Getting from there to here has been a long road.

[RachelDenise]

Well put Julie. You two have a wonderful relationship. I am envious.

[Sarah_GG]

Yes. Can I add my congratulations too! I'm so glad you're both having fun with it. :)

That thing about the wedding dresses... something I've often wondered too! My SO and I are getting married this year and I have never craved the meringue... or even fantasized about a wedding dress at all. :doh:

My SO on the other hand just had to give into desire and bought a rather lovely (in her humble opinion!) one on ebay for just £39. We have some great pics which she may well post soon... and I suppose it is the ultimate in femininity... just not for me!

:love:

[JulieC]

Looks like your wife also ordered you the last of the dresses you linked to. The photo has been replaced with a "no longer available" message. lol

The dress is back available again on the site in sizes 10, 14, 16 and P8.

My wife has the same dress (in her size of course) and wore it out yesterday. She loved it!