Getting a little nervous planning to hit a club Wed.

[Angel.Marie76]

Woo! Post Three Hundred! ( I think ) He he... Ahem.

Wednesday of this week I am tentatively scheduled to go out to a local club with my GF to a 'Drag Competition' night if you will. Great! one might say, right?? Well, sure. Granted I frequent this particular club quite often on another particular night not necessarily devoted to TG events. I am very aware that this different night will most certainly have attendees that are not in my normal circle of friends, such is why my SO is coming along. Cool. Here's the cincher: She mentioned to her coworkers that she's going out to a Drag show Wednesday night (she's lead cook in a small shop) and at least TWO of her coworkers knew exactly where and what she was planning to do (and said they'd probably be there anyway!) AAAAAHHHHHHHhhhh!!!! :eek:

Soo.. I know I'm not a shock-glam CDer, so I'm not exactly trying to compete, but goodness, I'm not sure if I'm ready, now, to get out and about to a TG bar night and risk, perhaps, LOTS of other people recognizing me. Fear aside, I'm looking to my internal strength to GET OUT d@mnit and have a good time and not give a rats butt about what others think. At the same time, now I know, likely, that there WILL be people I know there that have never seen me dressed. :o Courage, Angel, and piles of it I know I should keep saying, and I'm trying not to let the fear take hold.

Happenstance is that I have a therapy appointment literally an hour before I'm due to hit the club - which I'll also be going to dressed, though in prep I'll have FAR much more makeup on than usual. I'm sure my doc'll have a fun time working through energy with me. *rolls eyes*

Just figured many of us have felt this way before, so wanted to let it out and vent a bit. Wish me fun and luck! :D
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Side note: I live in a two family house, and my neighbor knows I dress (and loves it. ;) ) and, so, just this week I went out onto the back porch, dressed, makeup, heels and all, to have a smoke with him as usual.. and it turned out he had a another GUY over visiting too. Goodness this fellow was awwwwwful quiet while my buddy and I just chatted away.. he he.. he was just flirting away with me and I was getting warm in the ears let me tell you.. but his friend barely made a peep and wasn't too keen on meeting my gaze when I looked at him. Poor guy, hope I didn't spook him too much. At least he was cordial.

[kellycan27]

Just the fact that your SO is going along should bolster your courage enough I would think. If she's behind you.... you have the world on a string. What's to worry about? Go for it..... have a great time, and for heavens sake... come back and tell us all about it!
Kelly

[CharleneT]

In the past have have you encountered friends while dressed ?

[Angel.Marie76]

In the past have have you encountered friends while dressed ?

I would say that, in one circumstance, yes, but many had inclings that I was going to be out dressed (at, say, a Hallows party, which kinda doesn't count, perhaps, at some levels). I've been out to this particular club enough times to walk around blind and not bump into things on a different themed night. In that scenario it's not unusual to see males in makeup and dressed unusually. I guess I'm just a little nervous about the 'acquaintances' and pseudo-friends that I may cross paths with that may not know Angel's out of the closet lately. If I were to round it up simply, it's just more out-of-context than I have been in this region/area before.

For, in another example, I've been fully dressed to a different alternative/goth/fetish night in an entirely different city/state and wasn't even really nervous. Perhaps the distance put me at more comfort. *shrug*

[Kelli Michelle]

I am assuming your SO will be hanging out with you, so I guess there is no doubt that they are gonna know. You seem quite aware of the potential circumstances, but I also see you are in therapy to explore the cd side I suppose. The way I look at it, while this may not be the ideal way for others to find out, but it seems to me you are on a runaway train. I mean it's planned, you're keen to go (well, mostly anyway), your SO is gonna be there, it'll be fun.

The fact that the others are going to be there, suggests they are somewhat open to the whole scene. I sorta wonder if they don't already know about you. Surely they asked your SO, why she was going? Was her SO going?

If it was me, and in the circumstances you are, I would go. I know this could have repercussions, but are they significant enough to warrant cancelling? Only you can decide that, but damn, this sounds like fun!!!!! I bet your SO's co-workers will be cheering you on. I will be!!!!!

Let us know what you decide and how it goes. THAT should be a great story.

[cindym5_04]

Either way, you look great. Just go out and have fun and enjoy yourself.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

First of all, you only have to go enfemme IF you really want to - if you don't

want to go, don't go. Is your GF supportive or does she just want to "out"

you because she does not like you doing it ? Obviously, if you go, she is

going to out you to all of her co-workers and friends - are you ready and

willing to take and accept that step ?


JoAnne Wheeler

[tricia_uktv]

You lucky girl! Have fun and enjoy yourself. Let us know how you got on.

[Kayla Shadows]

Hey Angel.Hmm...I might be a little nervous too at first.Its just another one of those moments.We can let it pass or we can be a part of it.Why not go and be yourself.We can regret the things we've done later.Atleast we did them.Its better than regretting the things we didnt do.If you decide to go,have fun and enjoy :) :hugs:

[Sammy777]

Your wife sounds very accepting and even more so encouraging.

So just go for it. She is comfortable enough with you to tell friends her plans.

If you want to try and keep it as low key as possible, just talk to the wife before hand and sync up what it is you two are going to say to any coworkers, friends, ect..

Maybe you can make it your wife's idea for you being dressed up.

Just a though, but in any case, it sounds like something you should not pass up doing.

[Angel.Marie76]

Thanks girls for all the positive encouragement. :hugs: For the record, SamanthaM, she's my girlfriend, I've already had one wife, and I'm all set with having another. ;)

Kelli, I appreciate your perspective, and I'd say that besides her friends / coworkers that would be going, I don't know exactly who else might be there. You right when you say the other attendees are likely comfortable with the scene considering, so I'm not necessarily worried about that either. I guess it's just the stepping out in general.. each step can be both scary and exciting. Somedays are just more complicated than others, right?

My GF is pretty darn supportive, and has been one to help me with my makeup among other things, so I greatly look forward to her company as she will indeed be a good person to lean on. I am looking forward to getting out, as I've been telling my therapist, I've not necessarily been on a runaway train, however the woman within has been fighting more and more to break out of this male shell. I don't expect anonymity, however at such a club, I would hope for only respect (which, I expect I would get obviously.. I won't be the ONLY person in drag...

I will indeed post a review once I go.. and hopefully get at least one good pic in too.

[Sammy777]

For the record, SamanthaM, she's my girlfriend, I've already had one wife, and I'm all set with having another. ;)

OPPS!! :D Sorry

But I hope you can at least use some of what I said if it helps.

[LindaMarie]

Angel, it does sound a little scary but you should have a wonderful time.

While reading your post, one part of me empathized with your feelings (it's natural to be nervous) while another part is so, so jealous. I'm sure you know how fortunate you are that your girlfriend is supportive. Many of us can't even dream of our wives or girlfriends being like yours. You also have a neighbor who's comfortable hanging out with you while you're dressed. That's pretty great.

I hope your night out is a lot of fun. And, of course, like everyone else, I'd love to hear about it.

Have fun.

All the best.

[Angel.Marie76]

Well then, I'd say that, in regards to my comfort level strutting around a club dressed, that I succeeded in having a good time, even dancing a little, and played some pool. :)

I'm sure many of us know the trials and tribulations of running around and trying to get ready to go out, and this night was no exception. With running home from the office, getting my son to the upstairs neighbor, and dressing quickly to go to my therapy appointment, I had ZERO time for any makeup. It was one of those 'Either do it right the first time or don't do it at all' kinda moments, as I'd rather not have to strip off a layer of a quick makeup job just to completely redo it all immediately with the works. I ended up having to pack my entire outfit and all my makeup, mirror, you name it to do apply the warpaint on the go. My GF tagged along to wait in the office too during my appt so I wouldn't have to drive the hour back home to carpool, etc. Side note: Walked out of my apartment, in daylight of course, with a casual ankle-length skirt, layered top, 3" boots, fitted leather coat, jewelry, dangly ears, hair down with dark purple tint sunglasses on.. My next door neighbor (not likely an accepting one if I were to guess), bit of a redneck, I see basically gawking through his home window with his GF at me carrying my Cheongsam and all my gear out to the car. YAY. I basically just came out to someone else.. Wonder how that'll go over the next time I talk to them.. heh.

But I digress, therapy went well, I stopped at a Friendly's walk-up and my GF and I stood outside while she waited for her food. I would have gone in and had dinner with her (dressed as above) but, I just felt even more self conscious with no makeup on at that point. Grabbed the food, and drove over to the club's parking lot.. now about 30 minutes before the doors open. While she was eating I changed and dove into my makeup, going for full-on pretty and threw the hair up in a pair of chopsticks. This all took about an hour! (Goodness I'll be soo happy when the beard shadow is gone)

Unfortunately, my SO and I are having some difficult times here and there together, not necessarily related to my dressing, however she was pretty unhappy that I shaved my arms for the club that night. If you may remember, there's this rotating schedule my SO and I have.. roughly two days a week guaranteed man-time?? Well, that gets very tricky when you essentially need a day or two to prep for a night like this - and one of those man-days crossed this prep time, hence her displeasure. So that combined with some other difficulties almost crushed the night before it even started. There we were, I dressed to the 9's, she reasonably well, and talking / arguing in the car just outside the club doors. Any confidence that I had spent the day building was vaporizing very fast. I finally reached a point where I just explained that if we didn't clam up post haste, I'd just turn the car around and go home. That having been said, we agreed to just try and have a good time and go to it.

A lot of prep words, I know, to say that just getting ready had it's own dramas, but when we got inside, I ended up only seeing two people I knew, the general manager (Gay, SUCH a sweetheart), and his daughter. I received several comments on my outfit, he came over and gave me several hugs here and there through the night, and on the overall I had a great time! :D Played some pool against the daughter, danced to a few songs, and just mingled about. I was a little nervous at first as this particular club is known to be more of a lesbian bar, and I was seeing MUCH more females dressed conversely. I hadn't seen a single MtF ANYWHERE, and when we arrived it was pretty empty. Well, after about thirty minutes of sitting around, the drag performers started wandering out of the dressing rooms.. ;-) Needless to say I felt loads better that I wasn't the only well dressed lady on the floor. After that I held my head SO HIGH I just didn't want to stop! Even though my SO and I didn't exactly have a good night 'together', she said, more than once, that I should just not worry about her and have a good time - and with that, at least twice last night I swear she literally disappeared on me the second I took my eyes off her. :straightface: The second time I finally found her I let her know that /that/ wasn't cool, and that it needed to not happen again. (How might you feel if, after you handed your keys to your SO so you could have a few drinks that night, only to have her take off with those keys and not be found for a while.. grrr)

Anywho, watched the Drag show, my goodness there were some pretty girls there on the stage, got home.. and (This is what makes it worth reading this, right??) snapped a few pics after I got home! :D

Taking the good with the bad seems par for the course these days, and yesterday was just another day I think. I know I might come off as saying that my SO is a very supportive, loving, wonderful woman, which she is of course, but every relation has its ups and downs.. Her downs were layered in a sandwich of lack of self-confidence last night.. much of which had nothing to do with my dressing on the surface of it all (I would hope).