The desire to go out in public

[RWillow]

Despite what I said in another thread about not leaving my own property dressed, I have a very strong desire to go out in public. I did go out many years ago to a Halloween party dressed in my gf's bathing suit (at her urging). It didn't take much urging to get me to dress and with her help I took first place at the party and was even asked to dance by several of the men (they were drunk), but I did dance with them.

This brings me to now, I have been giving serious thought to going out this coming Halloween. That time of the year would give me a perfect excuse should I be stopped by police and if someone I knew saw me. My first step in my plan was to dress and video tape as I moved around the house, this is what I did the other day.

What a shock! I have never watched anything so lame in my life, forget the fact that I didn't use makeup, just the way I walked and looked was enough to make me throw up. I couldn't pass even as a guy in a dress, it was horrible.

Can any of you girls give me some tips on what I can do to improve myself? I continue to watch gg's on TV and when I am out, trying to pick up on their demeanor, but I must be missing something. I am not going to kid myself by thinking I will just walk out the door and be able to pass, but I don't want to be read before I get out of the car either. If seen by another cd I would at least like them to think I was making a good effort to pass.

Renyta

[DonnaT]

Practise, practise, practise and then practise some more. when you fell good about yourself, go out.

[JulieC]

Check outthis link (http://www.biomotionlab.ca/) and this flash app in particular from that site (http://www.biomotionlab.ca/Demos/BMLwalker.html). Very interesting stuff regarding how men and women walk differently.

[jenniferj]

As was discussed in another thread, an awful lot of "real" girls and women don't walk or dress like the steretypical woman either, and yet they pass every day.

The biggest thing is the confidence to smile and act as though it's no big deal. If your SO is supportive, it is much, much, much easier to go out with her and just act like the two friends you are.

Believe me, there is no way I pass but I have walked into a rest stop public lady's room with my wife, sat in separate stalls, did my business, checked my hair on the way out and saw no recognition whatsoever that I was anything but another woman. When you are by yourself it is much easier to obsess and get very uncomfortable - and it shows.

Relax and take small steps (figuratively and literally) :battingeyelashes:

-jj

[Karren H]

Practise, practise, practise and then practise some more. when you fell good about yourself, go out.

:iagree:

I've got videos and photos of me practicing that would make you cring and run for your life!! Lol.

[brandybrookstone]

Check outthis link (http://www.biomotionlab.ca/) and this flash app in particular from that site (http://www.biomotionlab.ca/Demos/BMLwalker.html). Very interesting stuff regarding how men and women walk differently.

That is a great link, never seen that before really helps to show the differences in how we walk, thanks!

[charlie]

Hello Renyta!
Go out to the mall and have a seat in the middle of it. and then watch the more feminine girls go by. They take short, quick steps. Go home and practice that in some low heels. Eventually you will get the walk down. As the lady said above, practice, practice, practice!

[kelly1469]

i have a massive urge 2 go out in public in fem! (just too nervous!!)

i really observe girls more now, how they dress, act, walk, etc - so i can hope to imitate!

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I've got one of those videos of me too. Amazing how not-feminine my walk turned out to be when I watched it.

I'd say keep practicing AND keep recording yourself walking, moving, etc. I think you'll be able to assess your passability better in reviewing a video rather than just in the mirror.

I often just walk around the room for my wife and ask her opinion. When she giggles, I know I'm walking with the proper wiggle in my hips. She likes the wiggle. :heehee:

[dilane]

What a shock! I have never watched anything so lame in my life, forget the fact that I didn't use makeup, just the way I walked and looked was enough to make me throw up. I couldn't pass even as a guy in a dress, it was horrible.

Yes, it's amazing how important carriage is. You can be visually perfect and get read in an instant by how you carry yourself. I've seen it happen.


Can any of you girls give me some tips on what I can do to improve myself? I continue to watch gg's on TV and when I am out, trying to pick up on their demeanor, but I must be missing something. I am not going to kid myself by thinking I will just walk out the door and be able to pass, but I don't want to be read before I get out of the car either. If seen by another cd I would at least like them to think I was making a good effort to pass.

Good idea to video tape yourself. I practiced, and still do after many years of going out, using a full mirror at the end of a long hall at home.

Two things that help me on the walk are:

1) Do not lead from or sway the shoulders from side to side at all. I keep them level.
2) The walk begins in the hip -- for each stride, visualize the leg being pulled forward slightly from the hip area, not being pushed from the back leg. This will shorten your stride, slow you down, and keep that more powerful male stride at bay. Lean back a bit from your normal male walking posture.

Practice makes perfect. You'll know when you've pretty much got it.

[Carly D.]

Practise, practise, practise and then practise some more. when you fell good about yourself, go out.

That's right.. the look and everything about what a woman is doesn't come with a quick "I want it so I'll just wear it and I'm fem".. it takes time.. I thought about going out last night dressed up after my very first ever heel wearing in public.. but I thought better of it..

[msginaadoll]

As was mentioned all women are different. Some walk like ballerinas some like linebackers. A big thing is making sure you are comfortable in your skin and your clothes. If cant walk in heels comfortably dont. Wear something u look good in. Its just as important to wear makeup but dont overdue it. And as said before I believe try to wear something apropriate for where you are. I still am trying to get more out in public. I went to a bowling alley once, and boy was I a nervous wreck. I really believe most people will accept you or at least ignore you. Im not sure about this passing thing.

[Dalece]

:iagree:

I've got videos and photos of me practicing that would make you cring and run for your life!! Lol.

Ditto

[Nicki B]

:iagree:

I've got videos and photos of me practicing that would make you cring and run for your life!! Lol.

Ditto.. :heehee:

[Rachel Morley]

I've got videos and photos of me practicing that would make you cring and run for your life! Lol.
Ditto again! I used to think I was doing ok until I videoed myself. :sad:

[Jess_cd32]

Geez, now I'm glad my camcorder is broken:heehee:
I'd say as the others have practice practice and I think you'll eventually get it all down, you have time on your side at least. I would also like to make it out myself this next Halloween but we'll see. I won't go out either unless its all together and works at that time.

Have you tried different heels?... in mine you don't have a choice but to walk feminine. Just a thought.

[Edyta_C]

I wouldn't worry so much about how you walk. I been observing and making notes where I work. The women who are dressed nicely and have the inner confidence in themselves walk more like the stereotype we hear about. But a large number don't look up smile and walk more like quarterbacks than not. Your inner self-confidence and projection may have more to do than you'd think. That's based on watching a lot of different women where I work. Several hundreds of gals from 18 to 65 of all shapes colors and sizes. All are the same, those that think they are OK walk better.

Hugs Your mileage might vary!

Edy

[Kate Simmons]

You may be trying too hard Grasshopper. Become one with the feelings and let them flow through you. In other words, without all the mumbo jumbo, just be yourself. Works for me.:)

[Cary]

Confidence and walking in heels should do the trick. I would also take night driving trips to the store, gas station, etc. to help with the confidence builder.:2c:

[marie rose]

I read somewhere that if one is lucky female mannerisms come naturally to transsexuals. That's how it happened with me. For years and years I fought against my feminine self until I finally gave up the fight and accepted that I am trangender. That was the turning point. After that my mannerisms changed so much so that my wife now says that I am more feminine that she. The strange thing is that I didn't practise or study how women walk or gesture but those mannerisms came to me automatically without me doing anything special. Now even my bum wiggles when I walk. It seems the macho male mannerisms I displayed previously were artificial and something I had constructed because now I have a difficult time trying to present as male. I just hate going back and forth.

[Sam-antha]

I made only one video of me walking and I lost it as quick as I could. It is a no-no to try such a thing.


Can't agree with Edyta C.
.............

For me, the secret is that women take up less space.

Small steps
Feet in line, not splayed out
Elbows tucked into the waist
Sit neat, don't sprawl
Knees together when sitting
Add to that the fact that they're not self-conscious, so they look up and don't slouch, and you've covered most bases.

That is about the best tips collection going, especially the feet in line, with emphasis on the not splayed out part. In line, butsplayed is a ded giveaway.

~Samm

[Ronni Seymour]

For me, the secret is that women take up [U]less space

Good observation, Katie.
I enjoy going out, but I am still finding it hard to be completely relaxed. I'm always too self concious about my walk and mannerisms. One thing that aggravates me the most, is that my elbows naturally want to bend outward, gunslinger stance. I hate it! So I try to keep them tucked in at all times. But I find that if I don't stay aware, then, outward they bend.:Angry3:
It takes away some of the enjoyment of going out, if the femme mannerisms don't come easy.
:sad:

[Carly D.]

Can't agree with Edyta C.

Yes, it's true that there are lots of different ways women walk, and some of them are manly. But if we copy them, then we'll just look... manly. Rather defeats the object.

For me, the secret is that women take up less space.

Small steps
Feet in line, not splayed out
Elbows tucked into the waist
Sit neat, don't sprawl
Knees together when sitting
Add to that the fact that they're not self-conscious, so they look up and don't slouch, and you've covered most bases.

Exactly.. I try to do this when I go out (such as it is) but old habits die hard.. it is really hard to shorten the stride when all I can think is "get there... get there now!!" and walking with the toes pointing forward, that one is tough to do as well.. but both of these things will make the walk easier I know because I do it here at home.. it just doesn't translate to walking in heels in a public place.. maybe as I do it more and get used to it..

[Samantha Kelsey]

Try sitting on a bench in a park or shopping mall and look at all the women who walk by (Ouch! No not that close a look) You'll notice that there are many kinds of feminine walk. Some walk even more manly than most men.

[Juliemckay]

One thing that I've tried and had it work for me is to turn my thumbs forward, this rotates my elbows in and a lot less of a gunslingers walk. Also if you look at the second link you'll notice the feet are closer together during the walk for a female than a male. I also hold my shoulders futher back and don't swing them, rather swing your arms.

[Sally2005]

What you have to do is imitate a female... follow your wife around the house reapeating every move she makes (don't let her see you though)... and you will get an idea how to move.

I've had some success pretending I have a string attached to the top of my head pulling me up...helps you sit properly and walk with your hips. The other thing that helps is to pretend your elbows are attached to your waist, it forces you to use your arms in a more femine way.

[tricia_uktv]

Attitude, Confidence and Practice. If you have the first two you will be amazed about what you can do. With a lot of the third you may even get close to passing, but I wouldn't bank on it. Good luck, get out there and strut your stuff!

[JaylaaGurl]

Can't agree with Edyta C.

Yes, it's true that there are lots of different ways women walk, and some of them are manly. But if we copy them, then we'll just look... manly. Rather defeats the object.

For me, the secret is that women take up less space.

Small steps
Feet in line, not splayed out
Elbows tucked into the waist
Sit neat, don't sprawl
Knees together when sitting
Add to that the fact that they're not self-conscious, so they look up and don't slouch, and you've covered most bases.

I haven't video taped yet.. so I could be dead wrong here but I feel the best when going with the same idea as Katie.. I know I still need lots of practice though.

[gillian1968]

Hi Girls,

I've read and noticed that if you walk more with your palms facing a little forward, your elbows move closer to your waist and your arms will fall into a more feminine position.

That flash tool is incredible, it will really help me visualize what I'm trying to achieve...

-Gillian

[Nicki B]

One thing that aggravates me the most, is that my elbows naturally want to bend outward, gunslinger stance. I hate it! So I try to keep them tucked in at all times. But I find that if I don't stay aware, then, outward they bend.:Angry3:

Gillian beat me to it, in her post above - just keep your hands slightly palm forward, your elbows will tuck in naturally.. :)

[Michelia]

Panhead

I can only tell you what worked for me.

Forget about trying to pass. I stayed cooped-up for two years waiting for the day I could go out while improving my passing skills - which never happened.

I am read by every single person I meet. Guess what? I am having the time of my life.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I have not been able to go out recently because of Boundaries" set by my

spouse - I cannot stand it, BUT the rest of you have told me that I need to

respect and agree to those "boundaries" - it may kill me, but I am trying to

As far as advice, watch and listen to GGs out in public - try to emmulate

them as much as possible - do not act scared - go out with dignity and

confidence - act relaxed

JoAnne Wheeler

[Ronni Seymour]

Gillian beat me to it, in her post above - just keep your hands slightly palm forward, your elbows will tuck in naturally.. :)

Hey, it works!:) I've always had the focus on my elbows. Little things do make a big difference!

[grace@4]

[QUOTE=kelly1469;1661778]i have a massive urge 2 go out in public in fem! (just too nervous!!)

i really observe girls more now, how they dress, act, walk, etc - so i can hope to imitate![/QUOT


that make two of us,if we could just break the ice together am thinking of a nite out in london some time this summer l was gonna ask a close friend to come alone but am too nervous even on my own lets to this and have a girl nite out xx

[Carly D.]

It's really hard to stop thinking like a guy.. guys do things so much differently.. it's a mindset.. I tried to just relax and enjoy it, but it is really hard to shut the man mind off.. or even to curb it a little...

[Di]

Everyone gave you great ideas.:thumbsup: I was thinking for your first venture out maybe find a tg/ cd group in your area..............can even be a few hrs away. That is usually in a more controlled situation with other ladies there for support. Just google it and check it out. Be not as stressfull for your first venture out and some have areas to change ect so you would not have to drive there dressed.

[girl@heart]

i also really desire to go out in public! i thought about it this halloween but chickened out...maybe next year! :)