Androgyn people-what should they do?

[Byanca]

I have always considered myself truly androgyn. Since I think my brain is female and body male. But my few girlfriends have thought I was more female then them. But I think they have been males in female body, so it's not to telling.

So I wonder what should we do, that is like this. Since I'm like this I'm not a CD either, since part of me is obviously female-that means I can dress how I like. Basically just as females do. I also think that most female is androgyn-and that is why they can dress in pants as well. And often prefer to do so.

[Sharon]

I seriously doubt most females are androgyn, at least to any noticeable degree. Don't confuse the clothing choices that people prefer with anything more that wearing what is either appropriate or comfortable. There are many reasons to wear pants besides gender identification.

I haven't a clue to how androgyn you are, however. Only you could ever hope to figure that out with any certainty.

[Byanca]

If that is true. Why do people react, and most often female, if it is not gender identification? I know I dress like everyone else, only more in a girly way.

But still it's most often females that say it is not appropriate for a male to use skirt. But they do it themselves, and also wear skirt. And then raise the eyebrow if a male wear pants. So obviously there is a lot more to dressing up then appropriate and comfortable.

Putting on clothes is defined by Maslow as one of our basic needs(protection against weather). Something we do every single day. Probably people are not aware the tremendous impact it actually does to them. And it mostly go by in the unconsciousness.

If it is as you say this whole CD thing would be a no issue. It wouldn't even exist. And certainly no female would ever raise a eyebrow towards their husbands(i've read lots of stories about this, and it always leave me in bewilderment).

Here is a post I got from a female regarding this, that I found to put some interesting perspectives regarding this. Also what is between the lines. Especially the Nietzsche quote, because I dont think people mean any harm.


I had a male student once, who went out in a skirt. He got the stares alright. Cool social experiment though (he's straight and not a transvestite or anything). You see how easily people judge, and after a while, you start to wonder, why do we disapprove of others, really? Is it genuine thought, or a Pavlovian response?

And what gives others the right to judge those who are different, just based on impression? Does it mean our societies are only skin-deep, for all that talk about values, character and whatnots.

Majority of society is on a Fe/Te basis. Fewer people actually think, than it is cared to be admitted. So perhaps the answer to your last question is as Nietzsche once said, "We love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving."

[Aurora27]

It probably wouldn't be so much of an issue except that male usually perceived as the dominant/superior gender. Even accounting for feminism and gender equality movements or whatever, there is still the notion in nearly everyones minds that male = better = more power = whatever is better than women.

Thus, if a woman wears pants (more or less a traditionally male garb) then she is seen as taking steps forward, overcoming her inferiority, becoming equal etc. If a man wears a skirt however, he is taking steps 'backward' and must therefore be not quite right in the head, or some kind of deviant.

And there is the darker side to it all, the fact that men are generally seen as the ones lusting pervertedly after women, and if a man is wearing a skirt it can be perceived as being part of a sexual perversion perhaps. And it doesn't help that the media sometimes gets their hands on actual perverts/sexual deviants to back up these claims.

An interesting example: A year ago I was revealing this transgendered side of myself to my (now ex) wife and trying to also explore it for myself. I told her of my desire for female clothes, even underwear, to somewhat be female etc. She wouldn't have any of it, not a single part of it. I was sick in the head, my desires were wrong. A few weeks later we had been slack on keeping up with the laundry and due to her lack of underwear she wore some of my boxer shorts to bed. Without even asking, and then couldn't understand the difference between her being able to wear my underwear and me not even being able to hint at wearing any female garment. To her it was normal to wear guys clothes occasionally, but for me to wear female is perverted.

Unfortunately thats the way of the world at the moment, and more than likely always will be.

[Byanca]

To her it was normal to wear guys clothes occasionally, but for me to wear female is perverted.


:hugs: I feel sorry for you, these stories brake my hearth. It's a rotten world. I wonder why woman put so much identity and personality into clothes. This is a female part I don't identify with. A piece of clothing is a piece of clothing. Some are just better designed then others.

[morgan pure]

Part of our enculturation has been sex-oriented roles. Unfortunately the male dominant form has been built on a very vicarious foundation. Beliefs that are not well-founded create the most anxiety. I have a boss who isn't qualified for her job. When you question her decisions you face the wrath of Atilla the Hun. She wears a dress, but has penis envy big time(remember penis envy from the seventies?). People are freaked when basic assumptions are questioned.

We do that.