Discover another CD????

[gigikaye]

Wondering if any of you have experienced discovering, usually accidentally, another CD. I've had two episodes. Once I noticed someone in a stall in the mens room at a store whose panties (very pretty pink with lace) were too low and could be seen under the door. I was the only one there. I waited until he came out and I wanted sooo much to engage him in a conversation, especially about those very pretty panties. But, you guessed it, I was too concerned about revealing myself, so the conversation never took place. A lost opportunity.

The other episode was while shopping for panties and a bra at a major dept store. I suddenly noticed another man also shopping for lingerie and he gradually drifted my way and began a conversation about a particular bra I was examining. He stated he was familiar with it and wondered if I had ever bought one, carefully avoiding anything to do with who (he and/or me) wore it. OMG, I wanted so much to dive into such a conversation with him but, yep! I did it again and expained I was buying for my wife.

OH, how I regret not pursuing talking openly with these two people.

[Karren H]

I've run into a few suspected ones in the women's department shopping and I have tried to start a conversation but they didn't want to talk and took off.... Ohh well!!

[Tal'Aura]

OH, how I regret not pursuing talking openly with these two people.

Jolan Tru,

You haven't missed anything. Staying quiet is always the best way to do it and silence is the best philosophy. Don't trust to anyone.

[Hali]

if i ever come across a suspected CD i will definitely talk to them and try to know them especially if am alone.

[Annemarie]

Seems we always have to maintain this facade of unflinching masculinity...

[Crissy Kay]

Seems we always have to maintain this facade of unflinching masculinity...
Unfortunatlly, all very true!!!

[Stacye Rose]

There is a young man where I work who looks Very fem. Just looking at him in drab mode I can tell he would really turn heads as a CD. We have made eye contact several times and it's a little spooky. It's like looking at myself 30 years ago.

We work in different departments which create's difficulties in getting to know someone and there is also a rather large age difference between us. I have no intention of asking him about it. One, I wouldn't know how in the world to start such a conversation. (Who is this creepy old guy, and what is he talking about?) Two, there is no way to start that conversation without potentialy outing myself at work which, given where I live and what I do would make a lead balloon seem extremely airworthy by comparison. This is one of those rare times when I wish we had a secret handshake or something.:daydreaming:

[Sallee]

i haven't but I would like to think I would say something that would spark a conversation. I am not sure what that would be I guess it depends on the location and situation.
I work in a large organization so you know there have to be others there who dress

[Highland Anne]

There is one older cd in the town where I live and I have smiled at him many times when we pass in clothes shops. But he does not want to talk.

[CD Susan]

I met another cd at a thrift store recently. The store was very crowded and we were in the checkout line at the same time. We exchanged knowing smiles and eye contact but neither of us spoke due to the crowded situation. That was so unfortunate.

[BillieJoe]

I have a job that ocassionally takes me into other people's apartments. In one apartment there resides a male resident. His apartment is loaded with the most feminine looking dolls you can imagine. He also sleeps on a pink' lacy canopy bed. I've noticed from time to time that he wears multiple earrings in his ears and that every once in awhile I can detect him wearing fingernail polish. Does he dress? I don't know although I am very curious to find out. I'd like advice on how to approach him on this.

[LACD]

I would like to meet another CD'er. I don't get to dress as often as I did a few months ago. I really miss dressing and hopefully will get back in the groove soon. Being from a small town kind of limits my cd'ing. My Dear Wife is supportive, but she is not ready for another CD'er in our lives. I don't even have enough time to try to chat on-line. Oh well, maybe soon.

[Megan70]

I have thought about this question many times and over the years i have seen several TV's/CD's out in public and I LEAVE THEM TOTALLY ALONE, AND RESPECT THEIR SPACE AND PRIVACY, and that would seriously be the advice I'd give. I've gone out in public now for over 45 years and in those early years if anyone even well meaning and like i, ever approached me I'd be mortified and run like hell to my car. This happened back in the 70's when i didn't do such a good job passing and I was immediately spotted by a young man who wanted to know more about me and where people can go and meet, and said he was one himself and even told me he was wearing panties and wanted to pull down his waist ban and show me. Well I skedaddled outta there right away to the parking garage with him hot on my trail 20 paces back and following me right up to my car wanting to talk to another like him. Scared the crap out of me. From that time on I vowed to never approach another new CD because it might be his first or second time out and I wouldn't want to subject him to the same terror.:2c:

Megan

[Carly D.]

I have thought about this question many times and over the years i have seen several TV's/CD's out in public and I LEAVE THEM TOTALLY ALONE, AND RESPECT THEIR SPACE AND PRIVACY, and that would seriously be the advice I'd give. I've gone out in public now for over 45 years and in those early years if anyone even well meaning and like i, ever approached me I'd be mortified and run like hell to my car. This happened back in the 70's when i didn't do such a good job passing and I was immediately spotted by a young man who wanted to know more about me and where people can go and meet, and said he was one himself and even told me he was wearing panties and wanted to pull down his waist ban and show me. Well I skedaddled outta there right away to the parking garage with him hot on my trail 20 paces back and following me right up to my car wanting to talk to another like him. Scared the crap out of me. From that time on I vowed to never approach another new CD because it might be his first or second time out and I wouldn't want to subject him to the same terror.:2c:

Megan

That was me!! just joking.. I have been trying to just wear shoes in public and wondered what I would do if someone would ask me why I was wearing high heels... I'd like to think I'd have said something fantastic that would lead to world peace.. or at the very least would have been confab towards let's all wear this stuff.. why should women have all the fun clothing..

[sterling12]

I'll also agree with Megan. "Respect their privacy." If you want to meet others join a Social Group for Transfolk. Most towns of even moderate size will have a group. The added bonus is that you will meet people who want to meet you!

I think it's a good thing that you didn't make contact with that poor soul in The Bathroom. If I came out of The Stall, and someone commented on my "pretty pink panties," I am pretty sure I would have "freaked," and I would have gotten super defensive, assuming that The Person was trying to make a sexual conquest. Male Bathrooms are not typically places for "bonding," CD or otherwise!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Lilith Moon]

As somebody on the receiving end of an approach I thought you might be interested in how it felt....

I was taking some femme shots of myself at a local beauty spot. Posing with tripod, camera timer etc. having a great time. Several cars passed nearby with no fuss then one stopped a few yards down the road and started reversing up. I panicked, quickly grabbed camera/tripod, bundled everything into the car and took off at great speed just as the driver was getting out. In my rear view mirror I saw him standing next to his car frantically waving in my direction ....phew, close one that !

But I was mistaken. A minute or so later when I had slowed down a little, I looked in my mirror and to my horror he was behind me and flashing his lights. Again, I gunned the car, made some distance between us, turned into a quiet side track. Switched off the engine and waited for him to pass by, heart pounding.

That pounding heart nearly burst when my pursuer's car appeared, driving slowly toward me along the rough track. It was a dead-end and I had no escape. I locked the car and awaited my fate...was it police ? Some redneck with a "thing" about "them perves" or what ? The car stopped a couple of feet behind me, the driver got out, walked over and gently tapped on my window. By now I was shaking all over and wanted to vomit.

"Hiya hun, " he said "I thought you looked great posing by the side of the lake. I'm a crossdresser as well, I just wanted a chat. Look, here's some pics of me dressed." He was holding a camera close to my window and, sure enough, there were some pics of him dressed, just as he said. (I'm using a male pronoun here because he was presenting as male)

I'm still not sure of his motives and his reasons for the Keystone Cops style car chase but I calmed down enough to get out of the car and have a chat. I even posed while he took a couple of pics with my cam. Swapped email addys, femme names, stuff like that. The lakeside pic in my album was taken just a few seconds before this event began to unfold.

This all happened a few years back when I had never spoken to anybody while en femme and things have moved on for me now but I'll never forget that first time meeting someone face-face while dressed.

Just thought you should all know what a traumatic event an insensitive approach can be for the more closeted girls among us.

[Kate Simmons]

As usual it begins with us. Until we get to the point where encountering another CD (shopping or whatever) is no big deal, we can't expect other people to act any differently.:)

[victoriamwilliams1]

I have wanted to speak when I was out and another girl was near. I gave the other person her space. I is too awkward unless we know each other or are in a group event. The real question is how would you react if you are approached? for me I have no answer yet.

[deja true]

Never seen another out dressed, but there must be a subtle, non-threatening way to make contact.

I think I'd try to make eye contact and then smile and give a little discreet "thmbs up" sign...without making an approach. If no reaction, or that little look of panic comes, I'd leave it alone. But if a little smile is returned, I'd try for a slow non-threatening approach.

But I can imagine the terror of a non-confident one (especially if they're on their own), knowing she's just been read and being approached by a stranger. It's hard to know a stranger's motivation for wanting to approach one, especially when we feel so vulnerable.

[MsJanessa]

I have thought about this question many times and over the years i have seen several TV's/CD's out in public and I LEAVE THEM TOTALLY ALONE, AND RESPECT THEIR SPACE AND PRIVACY, and that would seriously be the advice I'd give. I've gone out in public now for over 45 years and in those early years if anyone even well meaning and like i, ever approached me I'd be mortified and run like hell to my car. This happened back in the 70's when i didn't do such a good job passing and I was immediately spotted by a young man who wanted to know more about me and where people can go and meet, and said he was one himself and even told me he was wearing panties and wanted to pull down his waist ban and show me. Well I skedaddled outta there right away to the parking garage with him hot on my trail 20 paces back and following me right up to my car wanting to talk to another like him. Scared the crap out of me. From that time on I vowed to never approach another new CD because it might be his first or second time out and I wouldn't want to subject him to the same terror.:2c:

Megan

that's probably really good advice---If you truely want to meet another CD, its not very difficult---best bet is on line--either here or one of the other TV/TS/CD sites that cater to Gurls like Us---start with e-mail, phone calls and then if trust builds and it feels right arrange a meeting---accosting a CD at the local mall etc might be tramatic for the poor gurl---after all they may be thinking that they are "passing"--if you must talk to one, do it in a way that gives them a compliment like "love that skirt, (blouse, outfite whatever) where did you get it", or" who does your hair, it looks terrific" etc. That way they feel good about themselves and may be willing to engage you in conversation----

[Annemarie]

I can certainly empathise with those CDs going out for the first few times and the extreme nervousness one feels, as they say only experience makes it less harrowing. Always go to safe places, and remember, most of the time most people will ignore you.

[Caitlin Rose]

Both occasions were before I retired. The first was on a PATH train between NJ and NYC. I had seen this guy most mornings. I couldn't help noticing his earrings, bob hairstyle and pale nail polish. I was totally in DRAB with my long hair hidden in a sprayed comb over. One morning, I worked up the courage to sit next to him and start a conversation. I was shaking like a leaf. He finally told me to "Relax, you're among friends." We chatted, exchanged Yahoo IDs etc.

The second was at the workplace. I'd noticed this andro looking guy, but couldn't get myself to strike up a conversation. Finally, by pure chance, I found myself having lunch with him and 2 gg co-workers. One thing followed another, and I did a "tell." I asked him if he ever heard of Tri-Ess! We spent quite a few pleasant lunch hours after that.

[CD Susan]

The best way to meet other cd's is to join a cd/tg group from your area. There are a lot more of them than most of us realise. I am a member of four such groups and have benefited from this by establishing friendships with very many others. If you are serious about it you can do some research online to find these groups. I did this about six months ago and it literaly changed my life.

[Hali]

As somebody on the receiving end of an approach I thought you might be interested in how it felt....

I was taking some femme shots of myself at a local beauty spot. Posing with tripod, camera timer etc. having a great time. Several cars passed nearby with no fuss then one stopped a few yards down the road and started reversing up. I panicked, quickly grabbed camera/tripod, bundled everything into the car and took off at great speed just as the driver was getting out. In my rear view mirror I saw him standing next to his car frantically waving in my direction ....phew, close one that !

But I was mistaken. A minute or so later when I had slowed down a little, I looked in my mirror and to my horror he was behind me and flashing his lights. Again, I gunned the car, made some distance between us, turned into a quiet side track. Switched off the engine and waited for him to pass by, heart pounding.

That pounding heart nearly burst when my pursuer's car appeared, driving slowly toward me along the rough track. It was a dead-end and I had no escape. I locked the car and awaited my fate...was it police ? Some redneck with a "thing" about "them perves" or what ? The car stopped a couple of feet behind me, the driver got out, walked over and gently tapped on my window. By now I was shaking all over and wanted to vomit.

"Hiya hun, " he said "I thought you looked great posing by the side of the lake. I'm a crossdresser as well, I just wanted a chat. Look, here's some pics of me dressed." He was holding a camera close to my window and, sure enough, there were some pics of him dressed, just as he said. (I'm using a male pronoun here because he was presenting as male)

I'm still not sure of his motives and his reasons for the Keystone Cops style car chase but I calmed down enough to get out of the car and have a chat. I even posed while he took a couple of pics with my cam. Swapped email addys, femme names, stuff like that. The lakeside pic in my album was taken just a few seconds before this event began to unfold.

This all happened a few years back when I had never spoken to anybody while en femme and things have moved on for me now but I'll never forget that first time meeting someone face-face while dressed.

Just thought you should all know what a traumatic event an insensitive approach can be for the more closeted girls among us.

I like this story is so real and heart warming.

[Melora]

3 actually..
1. I was at a Paranormal society convention in Colorado, and saw a Verry Tall, (about 7 ft.), and quite beautifull CD. I Soo wanted to talk to her. I was with my wife at the time though, so I didnt.
2. I work with a semi known DQ. I havent brought anything up with her because she is a blabber mouth and I do not want this side of me to be known at work.
3. I shop at a health food store where there is a verry sweet T-girl, who is obviously in transition and almost passable.. I am shy, but soo much want to just chat with her.. I may just do so. She seems Verry sweet.

[jruiz]

Happened once, in a big mall.

It was a middle age lady, very conservative in her dressing. Nobody cared or noticed, but the narrow hips and broad shoulders hinted me.

I did not approach her, but followed a bit closer. I guess that she noticed, because she just evaded me and disappeared.

I felt really bad after that when I understood that I let her know that I read her and probably scared her as well. This was not nice from me but it was unintentional. I was so much excited about finding someone like me.

I have this rule: never, ever approach a CD if I read her. It is not nice, and I will not be helping her self confidence, because it will make her think that she is not passing. Maybe she is passing, but I think that CDs have an eye for reading other CDs.

[TG_Nicole]

This issue recently came p with me last night actually. Me and my wife both Play World of Warcraft and are in a guild with several of my real life long time friends. Friends who happen to have no idea about this side of my life. Well last night a relatively new member of the guild completely outed herself as a pre-op mtf. At first i wasn't really sure if this was someone trying to make a joke or if she was serious. On one hand i wanted to talk to her about everything i love talking to people who understand what i am going through. On the other hand if she was to out me to long time friends it would of been devastating. In the end i said nothing but a big congratulations for having the courage to come out that I'm sure left several people online at the time including my long term friends wondering about me. My wife decided to be covert about things and talk to her. From the conversation she had i trust her so maybe i will talk to her more.

[allisonrn06]

I have once - a long time ago. It was at a vision center, was there to pick up glasses, when a couple came in - a trucker and pretty blonde girl. I happened to glance over at her and noticed that her hands looked kind of masculine, then "she" spoke and I realized "she" was a CD/TG. Didn't speak to her.

[Angie G]

You may have lost the chance of having 2 good friends.:hugs:
Angie

[gigikaye]

Both individuals and I were en drab at these two chance encounters. There was little question about the fellow in the stall with pink panties. And while I felt pretty sure the one approaching me about the bra was a CD, it's not absolutely certain.

Of both incidents, I'm glad I said nothing in the men's room but regret not engaging in what could have been an exciting (for me) conversation in the dept store.

gigi

[pamela_a]

A couple years ago while walking out of a local gas station's store I passed someone going in. She stops me and asked if I could wait a minute so we could chat.

I waited by my car and she came over. She was pre-op and lived within a couple miles of me. We exchanged names and phone numbers but never got together. I saw her a few times in subsequent months but thinking about it I haven't seen her in a while. Since she said she was soon to have GRS I'm assuming she did and moved on.

-Paula-

[JaylaaGurl]

I've actually noticed someone at a nearby store who I'm pretty sure dresses, but I have no idea how I would bring it up while in drab.. If I were dressed I would be all over chatting them up.

On a similar topic a GG at my office actually suggested that I dawn a dress and go some place with her.. She is pretty fun and wild but it was said in jest thinking I would take up arms at the suggestion, but from what I know of her I think she would be totally supportive of a CD friend.. playing this very slowly, I just joked back with thinking like "I'm a bit flat chested". It would be really exciting if it went somewhere.

[rachelgirlnw]

I've run across a co-worker's femme website. She's definitely a kindred sister, but I've never felt comfortable bringing it up. I feel that work is work and personal life is, well, personal. Work doesn't seem the right place for that and I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I don't know...

Though I did try to point out my accessory back on rubber band day! Sadly, no luck. :sad:

[Teri Jean]

I seen a gal at the grocery store the other day, she was dressed down to blend but her mannerisms said she was more than the gal she was presenting. The interesting thing was I was also dressed down right behind her,LOL and we shared looks of knowing but no comments. Keli

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Crossdressing Rule #2 - never out a sister crossdresser out in public in any

manner - we are stressed out enough as it is - unless you already knew

this sister, my advice - DON'T DO IT


JoAnne Wheeler

[BrendaDaniel70]

I've had a couple of experiences. The other day at the grocery store I passed a VERY good looking CD. She was looking quite nervous as she shopped, even if she was almost passable. That's why I do agree that a blind approach may not be a good idea. This poor sister didn't appear to want to talk to ANYONE!
At the thrift store I've run into a couple of men in the women's shoe dept. who nervously put down the shoes they were looking at when they see another guy. That's one I don't get. We both know why we are there. What's the difference at that point? Ah well...more shoes for me.
Maybe we should have a secret hand signal? Anyone?

[bimini1]

Way back when, I ran upon a guy in the grocery line late one night. He had apples, bananas, gum & a pair of leggs sheer energy queen size.
The exact same scenario I had found myself in time and time again.

I looked at him and said, "she must be tall". When he checked out he high-tailed it outta there like a bolt of lightning.

I did not mean to spook him but I surely knew he was up to no good.

[grace@4]

I can certainly empathise with those CDs going out for the first few times and the extreme nervousness one feels, as they say only experience makes it less harrowing. Always go to safe places, and remember, most of the time most people will ignore you.

am thinking of going out for the first time in public and the only plave l can think of is one of london gay bars but the problem is am gonna be alone and don't feel safe about the idea what can l do xxx

[Cassiecd]

Not only another CD, but another member!

I was in total guy mode and recognized our own

TXKimberly

in an airport from her beautiful photos and blog! What a wonderful suprize!

[alexmusic]

There are these two girls that come often to this Mexican restaurant in Austin and hang out at the bar, this is sort of a popular hang out for musicians and they both have been made already by everyone there but everybody is very nice and respectful of them.
I have exchanged some small talk with them and wish I could just approach them straight up as a CD myself I am sure we would have more to talk to then but I am worried about being ousted as I am still earning my place in the musical community and want to be judge by my abilities not my clothes.

Anyway I totally agree with respecting other peoples privacy though, I know the few times now that I have been able to go out I’ve been mortified of being made but it is getting easier, I wish there was a universal sign to let your fellow sisters know that it is ok to approach you or to approach them.

[Margot]

I was in a coffee shop in Toronto last week and made a CD'er right away when I entered the shop. She was sitting with an older couple so I chose a table directly in front of them so I could observe. I was in drab but flaunted my rings and longer finger nails.
I did not stare just observed as she talked and occassionally tossed her shoulder length hair to one side. Maybe it was a signal. We did not exchange smiles.
I did not want to be obvious as I was in the area to pick up my wife.
It was very interesting and I felt a bit jealous that I do not have the nerve to go out into the world dressed. My loss I guess.
Margot

[Michelle 51]

I ordered some stuff on a crossdresser site and was very surprised when my item came in the mail and the sellers address on the parcel was in my town.I've know the guy but i'm not sure if he's a cder or if his wife runs the store but they cater to crossdressers.I was a little nervous because i use my name and address on ebay but i've seen him a few times since and he just says hi and i'm content to leave it be also.

[linnea]

I've seen a few people whom I thought might be, but I've never approached them because I've worried that I might cause them some distress.
Most recently when I was hiking in California (Pt. Reyes), I saw a man whom I think might have been TG, but he was presenting as a male. I wanted to ask him, but I certainly did not want to embarass him or me. So I had a brief conversation with him and left it at that.
If he happens to be here and remembers, I was hiking out of Wildcat camp on March 28.

[Carin]

I find it sad that even as we clamor for acceptance in society we do not know how to acknowledge one another in a casual space. And yes, I do know all the reasons why it is so. I learned from interacting with GGs in public. They break the ice very quickly with a compliment. The first few times I got a compliment, I was so thrilled that I did not know what to do with it. Then I realized that it was an invitation to engage.

If someone is dressed nicely, compliment something - shoes, earrings, nails. If they are secure, they will engage. If not, no harm, no foul and you probably just make their day.

:2c: