Unsure of my direction...Advice?

[MichelleOBrien]

hi all. I'm 24 and have been CDing for 11 years now. I'm seriously considering beginning treatments, therapy and all, but my biggest fear is going under the knife for any reason. I mean, I'm sure I want to become a female, but I'm not sure the steps to take or if I get too far in that I'll start losing the personality I have or suddenly wake up and change my mind. What was the turning point for some of you who have completed or even begun transitioning?

[GypsyKaren]

Well, you're talking about shingling the roof and you haven't even dug the basement yet. You don't have to have any surgery, in fact most TS'ers don't and live happy lives as non-ops. And why would you lose your personality? If anything it will allow it to come out more, not get lost.

Take your time, that way you can be more certain of your steps. I first heard of SRS in 1970 and immediately knew it was what I wanted and needed, but I certainly wasn't ready for it until a few years ago, and it's given me great happiness and peace. You'll know when it's time for you to take whichever steps you end up following, just listen to your heart.

Karen :g1:

[Melissa A.]

Well, you're leaps and bounds ahead of where I was when I was 24! You're not in denial, and Have the opportunity at your age to take your time. Gather information(there's tons out there), find a good gender therapist, and go from there. It'll all fall into place. "Turning points" usually happen to those of us who are older, and have tried to chase a "normal" life for years and years. The atmosphere is much better these days, and I'm really happy for people your age. But it's not a race. Surgery of any kind is a ways off, so take it one step at a time dear. Best of luck.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Eileen]

As has been said you are young! Take all the time you need to know what you want to do for the rest of your life. You have the time to think and do research. For me my personality is much more outgoing since I have been living f/t.

Eileen

[Sharon]

If you take it one step at a time, and remain honest with yourself as you progress, there should be no regrets. Regrets come when you aren't honest with yourself about your true feelings.

[Lisa Golightly]

Hmmmmm... the turning point for me was the death of my father. It had always been in my head, but that proved life was too short to keep faffing about. I don't think your personality changes that much... I think it relaxes as all the barriers you've built up to try and be male fall down.

[marla01]

Do you want to become female or do you want to become a woman? These are two different things. The former, depending on your point of view, is either impossible (you can't change chromosomes for example) or it means going under the knife (you can change genitals).

But the latter, becoming a woman which can be much harder, requires changing your person and your social construct. However, it does not in any way require going under the knife.

One can do neither, either or both. It depends on what your own needs and desires are.

Marla

[morgan pure]

Start therapy and hormones right away. Being young you can stop some of the deleterious effects of testosterone and develop more naturally.

The earlier you start the better the chances of passing.

Lose weight, get into makeup. Don't exercise or do heavy work. Go for it. I've know beautiful girls in the city who can't be read by children because they were lucky enough to come from families that understood and let them be themselves in their teens.

If I'd known it was really possible when I was your age I would have done it in a second.

[Diane24]

You are at the age I was when I began my transformation. I also had cross-dressed for many years, full time for my last 2 years of college and mostly full time during my 20s. I wasn't sure how far I wanted to go and finally began seeing my therapist at age 24. I had a really good gal for my first few years. She helped me so much! I started HRT just before my 25th birthday. Like you, I wasn't too keen on surgery. My real life test sorta went on for the next 8 years when I finally decided that I would go for my SRS. Another year of therapy and visits to a really great "shrink" and I was ready! Do I regret any of it? Not on your life! Being as complete a woman as I can be is wonderful!
You can do this. It just takes dedication, planning and good guidance. A circle of close friends who know, understand and care for you helps a lot, too!
So, set your sights and go for it!
Love,
Diane

[morgan pure]

That was beautiful, Diane.

[Alison010274]

One step at a time and allow yourself to enjoy the journey. I now wish I had had started therapy at your age, please do so as soon as you are able. It's not the answer to all your questions, but it gives you the ability to find them.